Most of you know I watched the Men Tell All episode with Some Guy in Austin. I’m proud to say that we both rolled our eyes at the same parts, laughed at the other’s jokes and cheered when we noticed that Dylan had finally washed AND CUT his hair. Mrs. Some Guy joined me behind a couch cushion during the creepy/stalker moments and now I’m writing from the most comfortable guest bed known to man. It doesn’t get much better than this.
Since I am technically on vacation, I decided to recap using Twitter and Facebook posts. I’m pretty confident with that decision since these were the only notes I took after watching two hours of men telling pretty much nothing we didn’t already know:
- Harrison looks hot
- Ashely’s boobs
- Live ultrasound?
- It’s a boy!
- Seriously, those boobs.
- I’m going to count the scarves.
- Wait…this is a bit. Everyone has a scarf.
- The Farmer refused to knot his scarf.
- Andrew controversy.
- Cookie pin?
- Marcus, Pants Guy and Random Guy I Can’t Remember all wearing red pants!
- Marcus, Marquel, Farmer all in hot seat.
- She’s totally a plant from the audience.
- Dylan likes blonds and isn’t ready for marriage.
- Josh lied twice.
- Alexis Colby Carrington
Men Tell All is traditionally boring, so my list is technically all you need to know. But in case you want more, here are the most popular posts from last night. Feel free to use them to help fill in the blanks.
Ashely and JP took up 30 minutes of the entire show to share with America
Ashley’s boobs the fact that they are moving to Miami! Huzzah! They also cut a slit in the side of Ashley’s dress to do an ultrasound on live television. She’s having a boy!
Three different guys decided to channel their inner Ames and wear red pants. This seemed to set the social media scene a twitter. So we Tweeted.
All the men wore scarves when Our Host Chris Harrison introduced them. And even though this was a gag, another fashion trend emerged.
ANDI IN THE HOT SEAT
Andi may have worn a sequined top as a dress last night, but she certainly looked great. She was in the hot seat for five seconds before heading out to a super secret door marked “private” where Our Host Chris Harrison gave her a note (legit 8th grade college ruled notebook paper note) from one of her guys. It was supposed to be ominous, but it was ridiculously staged. Did I mention that I miss Ames?
HIDING BEHIND SEAT CUSHIONS
ABC planted a girl in the audience to “interrupt” Our Host to tell him that she sort of kind of liked The Farmer. Harrison brought her down to the hot seat and suggested they speed date during the commercial. I may have choked on my own tongue and probably have permanent eye damage from shoving my fingers in the sockets.
That about sums up the night. There was a lot of pimping out of the new Bachelor Paradise show that starts in two weeks. I found it odd that the new Bachelor wasn’t announced, which makes me think that the next Bachelor is somehow connected to this germy spin-off. Something fishy is definitely going on.
Of course, it’s going to be fabulous and I can’t wait!
It’s Men Tell All tonight people! Get pumped. Hopefully these men will tell all of what they were thinking about the following:
1. What was the deal with the scarves?
2. How did we go an entire season without a hot tub scene?
3. Does Our Host Chris Harrison really smell like power tools, lemon grass and respect?
4. When Andi wore denim panties, did that spark Daisy Duke flashbacks?
5. Those times that Andi said, “Sttaaaaaauuuuupppp.” Did you ever respond, “Goooooooooo.”
6. For contestants participating on Bachelor Paradise, did you get your shots yet?
I will be Tweeting during the show tonight, although it will not be live. I’ll be about an hour behind. Feel free to join me! Those Tweets that make me laugh out loud will be featured on the website tomorrow! And for those who don’t Tweet, feel free to Facebook or email me.
Yes I’m asking you to do my recap for me because I’m on vacation! Woo hoo!
See y’all tonight on social media!
If you didn’t check out either of my Entertainment Weekly posts this week, I’d love for you to give me a click. It’s even more entertaining if you read them after the click! But there’s no pressure. Here’s the one for Covert Affairs. There’s a shirtless guy in that click for you. And here’s the one for Welcome to Sweden. Ron Burgundy makes an appearance in that one. Fun times all around.
This list of useful websites will take you a while to explore. Make sure your boss isn’t around when you start clicking.
Like everyone else in the world, I think this will be my favorite tampon commercial of all time. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, prepare to be blown away. In a good way. (PS: Before this one, I didn’t really have a favorite tampon commercial to compare with an all time list. I feel like I needed to make that clear.)
Did you know that there was a competition known as the American Ninja course? Me neither. But this girl just dominated it! Please watch the entire thing. She is a big beast in a tiny package!
I’ll be live Tweeting the “Men Tell All” episode of The Bachelorette on Monday night with this guy. I have a feeling I will be hiding behind A LOT of couch cushions.
When I was in fourth grade, I won the Citizen Bee award and was called up to the podium in front of the entire school. Of course the principal looked at my uniquely spelled name and enthusiastically instructed “Linky Ray” to join her on stage. I looked around for the foreign exchange student who was lucky enough to win such a prestigious award and was quickly ushered out of my seat by my teacher.
Needless to say, Linky stuck through high school, morphed into Slinky and was later shortened to Slink. To this day, a handful of people call me Slink, including my high school friend Julie, my niece and everyone standing around my niece at any given moment because she has never heard of this stranger named Lincee.