Archive for May, 2007

May
30
Posted by Lincee

That’s All She Wrote

You guys are too sweet. Thanks for worrying about me. Lots of family/friend issues that popped up THE NIGHT I posted my Oklahoma blog. It’s all under control now. But I do feel there is no good reason to post an After the Rose recap. I typically never do an after the rose because they are lame. Not to mention that it was so long ago.

There’s only so much I can say about how cute Trista is pregnant and how hot Ryan still is. We can sit around and debate exactly how long is TOO LONG to be engaged and then discuss intervention techniques to use on Mary Mary and the fisherman. I could say that I held my breath every time Psycho Stephanie moved, hoping that the ladies wouldn’t pop out to say hello. I could spend a good paragraph on how cute Chris Harrison is and how adorable he was holding his note cards with Lieutenant Andy Baldwin on the back. Or how he made Bevin almost cry asking her “Don’t you wonder what was wrong with YOU” when she sported her jailhouse dress and pink cast with diamonds. Or how he told Andy, “I can’t believe you picked the girl with the muffin joke!” Classic Bachelor is what I would say. We could compare notes on the times that I got mad at the good doctor for, I don’t know, grabbing Bev’s knee–twice–and telling her that she will always hold a piece of his heart. I would ask you if you saw the chick crying in the studio audience and wonder aloud if she was related to the American Idol chick crying in their studio audience.

But there is no time for that. So I’ve decided to end the Bachelor season with a list of things I’m going to do until we meet again this fall. Prepare yourself for a complete smorgasbord of random nothingness. This is the true beauty that is Lincee. I present it to you now!

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: I’ve seen it. I love Captain Jack and the monkey. The movie? About an hour and a half too long. On the bright side…Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom for almost three hours. Hmmm. Tricky. Very tricky.

Saw SpiderMan 3. I’m sorry if you are a Tobey fan, but he can’t pull off the scary black Spidey suit. I’m just saying.

So You Think You Can Dance: Favorite summer TV show.

Order of Phoenix: You know you think Harry Potter is cute too. Let’s form a support group.

Hand & Foot Extravaganza: THE best card game in the world.

What Goes Around: Determined to get the catchy Justin Timberlake song OUT of my head.

Going to read three books by the time we meet again. Of course, the final Harry Potter will be one for sure. I’ll be the dork with all the other 12-year-olds at Barnes and Noble around midnight to pick up my copy. “Calm My Anxious Heart” for Bible study. And one chick lit novel that I’ve been told is pretty good…”Time Travler’s Wife.”

Mimi turns 92! I wish you were all lucky enough to know my crazy grandmother.

10 pounds: The amount of weight I will lose before the baby shower I’m attending for a high school friend. Going to see six girls that I haven’t seen in about three years. Luckily, most of them will be big and pregnant and I can look fabulous and single from the big city! And then I’ll cry in my glass plate of dainty fruits, crackers and pink sugary dinner mints. Fun times!

www.ihategreenbeans.com: Launch of my new blogsite…coming soon!

Thanks for the well wishes truely. It’s been a crazy week and I thank you for your concern. Until we meet this fall…make sure to check the other blogsite for my random nothingness!

All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee

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May
23
Posted by Lincee

I have some thoughts…

I’m in Oklahoma with work in a small town that nobody from home has ever heard of. I have some thoughts on last night’s After the Rose and a few answers for the wonderfully awesome folks who post on the message board. Check back tomorrow night for my final post of the season!

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May
22
Posted by Lincee

Andy Loves the Women!

Writing recaps for the season finale is always so depressing. It’s so…final.

I’d rather be writing about other important things going on in my life.

For instance:

- Are you buying the George and Izzie attraction?
- Are we pumped that Jim asked Pam on their first real date?
- Where is Pocola, Arkansas, and why do I have to go there this week?
- Will you be tuning in to “So You Think You Can Dance” on Thursday night?
- Pirates 3…opening weekend…Johnny Depp…hot…I’m there
- Is it wrong that I think Harry Potter is cute?
- Are you stocking up on Spring Oreos because the next holiday is Halloween?
- “Lost Without You” by Robin Thicke…playing on iTunes right now…swoon!

But alas. You are here to talk about Lieutenant Andy “I Tell Everyone I Love Them” Baldwin and how he picked Tessa to be his military wife in Hawaii.

Bachelor finales are always deflating to me. Especially when we know who he is going to pick. Two hours of Hawaiian landscape, boring family conversations and professions of love is a little much, don’t you agree? What am I supposed to write about? Nothing was funny…

Therefore, I feel a Top 14 list is only appropriate for my final thoughts on this amazing, wonderful, awesome show.

Eight years— The last time Andy brought someone home
Lincee: Great Gatsby? I’m just saying…

1987—The sister should re-think her earrings

Bevin Nicole: “I’m a clinical research coordinator working with Alzheimer’s patients, cognitive decline, menopause and sexual dysfunction.”

Grandfather: “He likes Bevin Nicole because SHE TURNS HIM ON! But is that what really counts?”
Grandmother: “SURE IT IS!”
Lincee: GO PAPAW and GRANNY! And we thought you guys would freak out at the B’Hai faith. What do we know!

Andy: “Marriage is a commitment. I have a huge decision to make and I don’t have any damn clarity. Freak it.”
Lincee: Please let the record show that I was SHOCKED by the damn. I can also confirm (because Meredith hit the closed captioned function on her TV) that Andy did indeed say freak. No f-bombs by the good doctor. Thank GOODNESS!

Chopperphobia—Fear of helicopters, often causing panic attacks and fit of nervous giggles
Good thing Dr. Baldwin is there to calm Bevin Nicole down with some breathing techniques he learned at the Karate Kid School of Medicine.

73—the number of times “Oh my God!” was uttered from Bevin Nicole

Bevin Nicole: “I wanted to give you a watch because you gave me your watch and you make time stand still and if you’re lost you can look and you will find me time after time.”

Bevin Nicole: “Lieutenant Andrew James Baldwin…I love you!”
Andrew James: “Are you serious?”
Bevin Nicole: “Yes.”
Andrew James: “I love you too Bevin.” (Decent kiss with serious head tilt)

Hold the phone. Back it up! Did Andrew James just tell Bevin Nicole that HE LOVES HER? (Rewind. Play) HE DID! HE SAID HE LOVED HER!

It is at this point that I feel played…yet secretly happy…that Andrew James might pick Bevin Nicole to be his lawfully wedded Navy wife.

Bevin Nicole: “There’s no chance in hell that he would leave me standing without a rose.”
Lincee: Annnnnnnnnd there it is. Nail in the coffin. She jinxed herself. Tess is back in the lead.

Riding a horse with flip flops? Just go barefoot dude.

Nothing says romance like frolicking in the ocean with your muscle man wearing a blue dinosaur floaty around his waist. I salute you ABC intern!

Tessa: “I got you a present. No silly…it’s not the cute yellow tote. It’s the photo collage inside with the five page letter I wrote you on the Turtle Bay note pad I found by the phone!”

Tessa: “I can’t pretend that I’m not in love with you. I want to stay tomorrow. I love you.”
Andy: “I love you too Tessa.”

Wrong. It’s just wrong. You don’t tell two people that you love them. Not when they are staying in the same resort and one will be proposed to tomorrow. Bad Navy doctor. BAD!

Final Rose

It was no surprise that Lieutenant Andy Baldwin picked Tessa. She was everything he ever wanted in a wife, excluding the electricity part.

I have no idea why Bevin Nicole did not see this coming. I mean, he greets her with a kiss when she approaches him, fixes her blowing hair behind her ear from the 90 mile/hour Oahu wind, babbles on about how much of a connection they have and how she means the world to him.

Andrew James: “This is not a rejection. I’m just not picking you. You didn’t win. You are just eliminated. Silver medal. Second place. Just shy of number one. It’s no big deal. I know you said you loved me. I know I said it back. But love is a many splendor thing. It lifts us up where we belong. See those eagles flying? That’s you and me kid…on a mountain high. But I’m going to climb down off this mountain and go be sophisticated and versatile with Tess. This is not a rejection. Is there anything you want to say?”

Insert Jim Halpert face from Bevin Nicole. Whoo hoo!

He grabs for her hand and walks toward the limo. We all hold our breath, wondering if she is going to fling herself off the balcony in utter despair. But she doesn’t.

The ABC Psychotherapist is upset that Bevin Nicole is not giving us the drama we so desperately needed during May sweeps. The best she can get is a few sobs into the pink cocktail napkin she fingered from the limo bar. That’s about it.

Bless Bevin Nicole’s heart.

Cut to Andy crying in the makeshift bureau room. He’s upset because he has so much respect for Bevin Nicole. Can he love Tessa’s versatility the way he loves Bevin Nicole’s electricity?

He’s going to try. He gets down on one knee and asks Tess to marry him, holding out the classic round cut diamond he chose from the special box. She says yes. They twirl, hoop and holler. He gives her the rose and his dog tags.

Cue the music. End of the show montage with familiar background soundtrack.

Will they last? Does Tess owe ABC a billion dollars for spilling the beans to the Page Six secret spy? Will Andy ever feel electric current from Tessa? Is she going to be ticked off that he told Bev he loved her too?

We may find these details out TONIGHT on After the Final Rose!

All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee

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May
21
Posted by Lincee

The Final Rose

Just a reminder that The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman will bestow his final rose tonight at 8:00 CST. It’s a two hour season finale!

After the Rose will air tomorrow night at 7:00 CST.

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