iHateGreenBeans

On January 1, 2007, I sat down at my kitchen table and made a list of goals I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year. The usual suspects (lose weight, eat healthier, read more) were all there, but they seemed so surface. I needed a bigger goal…a deeper goal.

I had a random idea pop into my head about a month later. I made a mental note to check and see when the next church mission trip would be held. To my surprise, an announcement was made the following Sunday regarding an exciting opportunity. I found my new goal.

My trip to Costa Rica was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. But I was anxious leading up to the departure. Where are we staying? Will there be plugs? I certainly don’t need a hair dryer to plug in…who cares…but what about my portable DVD player and iPod? Should I bring toilet paper? I don’t speak Spanish. Surely that is going to hinder what it is that I’m supposed to be doing, right? How am I going to make a difference in the lives of these people?

Little did I know that God would bless me each minute of every day until I finally realized that it is not about me. His love is bigger than my comprehension. I was humbled to witness that laugher, music, soccer, stickers and hugs are universal. Without the prayers and support of my family and friends, I would not have had the pleasure to directly witness God’s love and the work He is doing within the Connexion ministry in Costa Rica. For that I am truly grateful.

Most of you may know that I screen movies as a way to make a little extra cash on the side. Although I’m not the main screener, I am occasionally called up from JV to play in the Varsity game. This year was no exception. I’ve seen pretty much everything worth seeing.

It was the summer of the blockbuster. The summer of the three-quel. The summer that broke all previous movie records.

And it was the summer I developed a significant crush on a few of the silver screen’s leading men.

As you may recall, summer 2007 had many attractive actors that the average girl would gladly race to her local multiplex to see on a 60-foot screen. Pirates brought us Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Ahoy matey indeed! My fake boyfriend John Krasinski tried to get his License to Wed with Mandy Moore. The movie? Let’s just go ahead and insert a Jim Halpert face HERE. (We still love you John!) We wondered why there was so much focus on the Transformers instead of more scenes with Josh Duhamel without his shirt on. Raise your hand if you leaned over to your girlfriend during Live Free or Die Hard to whisper, “Bruce Willis is HOT!” Oh…and who could forget the cast of Ocean’s Thirteen?

It’s a pretty good list, right?

Sure it is. But it was at the end of the summer that I developed my crush…

On Harry Potter and Link Larkin!

Harry is growing up and is so cute. (STOP JUDGING!) The kiss between him and Cho Chang was adorable…love the part about the nargles. (YOU DON’T KNOW ME!) And I’ve seen Hairspray three times and bought the soundtrack the day it came out in the stores. (THAT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR SOMEONE MY AGE.) When Link sings “Tracy I’m in love with you” in “Without Love” I switch the name to Lincee. That’s not weird, is it? (OKAY…THE FIRST STEP IS ADMITTING THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!)

The problem is that I still see myself at or around the age of 24. I pondered if my “enthusiasm” should be a legitimate concern of mine…sure it was a crush, but an unhealthy one? Is this something I should bring up to my therapist in our next session?

Luckily, I went to see a movie last week and have been redeemed. Jason Bourne was added to the list of summer crushes. A real man! Oh to be that hand towel he wrapped around that dude’s neck in the bathroom scene.

Anyway…

When calculating the average age of my crushes, you get the number 25. And since that falls into my dating range, I’m no longer categorizing this as an unhealthy crush.

It’s really just about the math.

A few years ago, I started recapping ABC’s reality show The Bachelor. I would sit/lay on my comfy couch and stare in awe and bewilderment at my TV as the train wreck unraveled before me. I would laugh, gasp, hide my face in embarrassment behind a cushion, take notes and generally write about the wonder that is The Bachelor.

A few people checked the website out and suggested that I write a personal blog. I have to admit, it had crossed my mind. Thus, www.ihategreenbeans.blogspot.com was born.

I know what you are thinking…

You too hate green beans.

Who doesn’t? That’s why the title is sheer brilliance.

I chose the name because, let’s face it, who in the world would remember how to spell my name in a blog title? Not that I don’t like my name…I do. And not that there wasn’t a time when I didn’t like it…there was.

Picture it:
The year was 1984. My older sister and I were shopping at TG&Y with my Mom. We were in the school supplies section when my sister discovers an entire display of personalized pencils. She twirls the display around to the middle of the alphabet and shouts with 12-year-old glee at the sight of her name! I, having to copy everything Jamie did my entire life, continue to search and search in the Ls. There was no Lincee.

I remember how the tears stung my jealous eyes.

Jamie, of course, paraded her pencil in front of me every chance she got. My mother at least tried to alleviate some of my pain. She used paint pen on a boring yellow number two and tried to pass it off as the same kind of cool as Jamie’s pencil.

I didn’t buy it.

That same year, I won the Citizen Bee award at Hallsville Elementary. When the principal called my name in front of the entire school at assembly, my teacher had to punch me in the arm and encourage me to go to the front of the auditorium. This puzzled me because my name hadn’t been called. Some girl named Linky was the winner…not me!

Pretty much from fourth grade on, I was Linky. Which changed to Slinky. Which was later shortened to Slink in my glorious high school years.

But I digress.

I really do hate green beans. And all my other unique titles were already taken by Google bloggers.

So this marks the inaugural posting of the rambling tales and random thoughts that creep into my brain.

This is Slinky. And this is my blog.

When I read ABC’s announcement of the next Bachelor, I was excited to hear the details of the lucky man’s life. Several points stood out to me as I read the release:

“Not born with a silver spoon in his mouth…”
The release was a little over 400 words with the following characteristics in practically every sentence: sincere, self-made man, successful, self-made entrepreneur, determined, committed, works diligently, booming business career, good work ethic, provider, strong values, appreciative of what he has accomplished on his own.
I think he wants us to know that he didn’t come from money.

“May be the series’ hottest guy yet.”
Naturally, I will have to judge this statement based on the few pictures I’ve seen on the Interweb. His eyes are gorgeous. Love the smile. I seem to continue to notice his neck. The body does have potential. Of course, one can’t really tell how hot a guy is until he takes his shirt off. It’s scientific fact. Everyone knows this.

“He’s the Bachelor’s own McSteamy.”

Seriously ABC? You’re going to go there? Seriously?

“Currently residing in Austin, Texas…”
Well there you have it. Best. Bachelor. Ever.“…Livingston, Texas, where he went to high school.”
I’m detecting a “good ole’ boy” vibe. Probably baled hay and roped a few cows in his day. Probably why he is so tan. Love that.

“Co-owns four lucrative bars…”
Prediction 1: How many girls are going to ask him to make a drink?
Prediction 2: How many girls are going to try and impress by making him a drink?
Prediction 3: SHOOTERS! Last one standing wins one-on-one time!
Prediction 4: He falls for the girl who prefers an ice cold bottle of Corona and nurses it all night long while rolling her eyes at the girls with fruit in their drinks

“He got into bartending with his twin brother, Chad.”
Please. PLEASE ABC. I beg of you to pull the old switcheroo and have Chad go out as Brad so that he can help his brother make a more educated decision on which girl to choose. That is classic TV my friends. At the very least, have him come to the bar on SHOOTERS night and freak the drunken girls out with mind games. ABC intern…my pal, my compadre…you know you thought of this. Make it happen!

I have to admit. I’m excited. They caught me…hook, line and sinker. Anyone else ready for the ride?