iHateGreenBeans

First of all…thanks to everyone who has contributed to my song dilemma. I appreciate your insight and have narrowed it down to about four or five choices. Once I decide, I’ll let you know how the kids respond!

On to business…how have we NOT talked about the new lineup for Dancing with the Stars? Check out some of the lineup:

• Lance Bass: Lord help me if he does a robot/space themed number. His saving grace is that So You Think You Can Dance golden girl Lacey Schwimmer is he partner. She will be able to pull focus from his awkwardness.

• Ted McGinley: Resident funny old guy

• Cloris Leachman: She is 82-years-old and will be dancing with Mark’s Dad, Corky Ballas. I’m going to go ahead and say that I will probably love them.

• Kim Kardashian: Isn’t it ironic that Mark Ballas drew her name? And Lacey drew Lance’s name? Young hotties with young hotties seems to be the direction ABC is going.

• Maurice Green: He’s an Olympic gold medalist who has been paired with Cheryl Burke. I can only assume that he will be a dark horse competitor that Cheryl whips into shape.

• Misty May-Treanor: She’s cute, but THANK YOU LORD that Maksim Chmerkovskiy is BACK!

• Susan Lucci: Poor Tony. He always gets stuck with these women. Maybe it’s on purpose and he doesn’t want a bunch of heavy choreography. That HAS to be it.

• Cody Linley: He’s young and cute and with adorable Julianne Hough. Again…hottie with hottie.

• Brooke Burke: I can already see the “are they dating” packages suggesting they are secretly together. There’s one of those every year.

These are the ones I’m most excited about seeing. What do you guys think? The season before last is still my favorite. Will Julianne and Cheryl come back to win three? Will Mark repeat his win? Will Cloris have to roll around an oxygen tank at rehearsals? How many weeks will it be before Kim starts showing off her “assets?” Do you think ABC will air Misty’s “dance” moves from the beach from the Olympics even though it was on NBC? If so, do you think they will run it into the ground? Will Maksim be your new wallpaper on your computer as it is mine? Do you think Joey Fatone will be in the audience every Monday night in support of his band mate Lance? Will Lacey get in trouble with mugging with the camera instead of her partner? Who’s pumped to hear what wackiness issues forth from Tom Bergeron’s mouth? Do you think there’s something, something going on between Len and Bruno under that table? And does everyone love saying Carrie Ann Inaba like that announcer dude says every week?

LIVE!

It’s the IHGB Dancing With the Stars soap box. Step up and be heard!

I’m in charge of putting together a slide show for high school kids who went to camp this summer in Colorado. I need a song that is fun and most everyone will know. Here are the rules:

1. No sappy slow songs that talk about finding yourself or saying goodbye.
2. No Mother Superior songs about climbing every mountain.
3. Songs that high school kids will know.
4. Songs that high school kids will know and sing to.
5. Songs that high school kids will know and sing along that don’t have lyrics talking about thongs, girls kissing girls or any secret sexual innuendoes that my naïve brain can’t even comprehend. Let’s keep it clean people.

Here are songs that I came up with on my own:

The Middle—Jimmy Eat World
It’s upbeat and I’m thinking high school kids would like it.

Don’t Stop Believin’—Journey
Hello. It’s Journey.

Walking on Sunshine—Katrina and the Waves
Happy, happy song, but may be too old for these kids who were born in the ‘90s.

How Far We’ve Come—Matchbox 20
Kind of appropriate that they were walking all over mountains, right?

Unwritten/Pocketful of Sunshine—Natasha Bedingfield
Fun to sing and definitely now.

America—Neil Diamond
Because it’s my job to make these kids cooler by introducing them to Neil Diamond.

Hooked on a Feeling—Steve Miller Band
Cool beginning, but might be too slow?

I’m Gonna Be (5,000 miles)—The Proclaimers
Fun sing-a-long part in the middle. Plus they probably did walk 5,000 miles.

Yes? No? Suggestions? Help!

**PS: Keep all Hannah Banana suggestions to yourself. And while I’m at it, let’s go ahead and boycott anyone from the Disney Channel family. I’ll have none of that on my slide show. It’s best the Jonas Brothers and the entire High School Musical cast stay on my iPod where they belong.

That’s what I think the next installment (lucky 13) of the Bachelor will be with Jason as our fearless leader. Melba toast. And I’m not talking about the seasoned kind you find in Gardetto’s either. I mean the melba toast that my Mimi eats with tuna fish.

It’s not that I didn’t like Jason. He was alright. He had a few annoying habits, like bouncing on the balls of his feet when DD was in a three mile radius. But for the most part he was an okay guy. He was borderline “needy,” but I do believe he wanted to be married. Probably for his kid’s sake more than anything. And I’m not worried about Ty being forced in the spotlight. I’m sure there’s already a contract in the works for the Spring launch at Baby Gap. Ty’s going to be just fine.

I just think Jason is going to be boring. And let’s hope he doesn’t full-out chach on us with tokens of affection for every girl he takes on a one-on-one date. I can see it now: a homemade frame with twigs glued on the outside representing their picnic in the woods; shells that he made into earrings from when they went horseback riding on the beach; a mix CD that includes theme songs such as, “Fly Me to the Moon,” and “Blue Skies” symbolizing a hot air balloon ride over Seattle.

I’m sure ABC will try and throw him a bone with some normal girls, but you know they are going to do their best to bring on the crazies. And let’s hope he has to sign a contract that says he will keep the ones that have escaped from the asylum for at least four weeks. We have to get some drama from somewhere.

I have to agree with all the IHGB posters that ABC should have picked a new face. This jilted altar thing is getting old. However, I felt the exact same way when I learned that DD was going to be the next Bachelorette, and look how great this season turned out to be!

I’d be willing to bet that the following will occur:
1. There will be two single mothers that can relate to Jason’s life

2. Some sort of reference to Sleepless in Seattle

3. Our Host Chris Harrison will constantly remind us that Jason’s proposal was REJECTED and that ABC had to help a brother out because HUNDREDS of you wrote in to say you would marry Jason

4. There will be gifts for Ty, including but not limited to: golf balls, ducks, teddy bears, Space Needles, Hannah Montana pillow cases and a board game that recalls the life of Jason (as described on Wikipedia) so Ty won’t forget his Daddy while he is in the Grand Bahamas.

Of course, Ty will only be able to play this board game between Baby Gap photo shoots.

So what do you think? Melba toast Mimi or Gardetto style? What moments do you predict will happen this season? Discuss below and let the countdown begin!

With Lincee in Colorado playing in the mountains, and considering a relocation there (according to her Tweet), I will be playing DH, for this announcement.

ABC has announced that Jason Mesnick — who proposed to DeAnna Pappas on last season’s Bachelorette, only to be rejected — will become the new Bachelor.

Rumor has it his son, Ty, will be picking the winner for this upcoming show.  Actually, I just made that up for this post.  I am shifty like that.   Talk amongst yourselves until Lincee returns.