iHateGreenBeans

1. MC Said,

   be careful lincee….i’m watching you on the news.

2. adrienne Said,

   Be safe Lincee
   I hope you are ok. I just went through Gustav. Not fun. Damage was bad here in baton rouge

3. CCP Said,

   Glad to hear you are ok! Hope you get power soon! I’m praying for the folks in Galveston.

4. Lancaster Said,

   Subject: Ike Guidelines

   CONE OF UNCERTAINTY
   1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
   1 sugar cone

   Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman
   say, ‘cone of uncertainty ,’ bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If
   you hear Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively.
   (they should change this to the ‘Cantore Zone’… dang him.
   Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house you are toast?)

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   FEEDER BAND
   2 oz. Midori
   2 oz. rum
   1 scoop vanilla ice cream
   After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass.
   Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer.
   Stir, and drink through a straw.

   ============================================================
   MANDATORY EVACUATION
   1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka
   1/2 oz. vermouth
   Clamato
   Prune juice
   Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose ficus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof — even though you’d warned him for months to uproot it — if you can use his bathroom.
   Repeat.

   ============================================================
   CATEGORY 5
   1/2 oz. vodka
   1/2 oz. tequila
   1/2 oz. rum
   1/2 oz. bourbon
   1/2 oz. gin
   Sweet-and-sour mix
   Splash of fruit juice
   Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass.
   Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice.
   Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella.
   Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

   ============================================================

   BEACH EROSION
   1 1/2 oz. Goldschlager
   1 1/2 oz. apple brandy
   1 pack Sugar in the Raw
   Combine Goldschlager, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass.

   As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee backside back to New Jersey where it belongs.

   ============================================================
   DOWNED POWER LINE
   1 1/2 oz. rum
   5 oz. Jolt Cola
   Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass.
   Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you’re supposed to go two freakin’ weeks without TV and AC.

   ============================================================
   FLOOD ZONE
   2 oz. Kahlua
   2 oz. Baileys Irish cream
   4 oz. rum

   Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the counter top.

   ============================================================

   COLD SHOWER
   2 oz. Blue Aftershock
   4 oz. Sprite
   Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for
   three hours at a mall parking lot.
   Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue.
   Repeat.

   ============================================================

   LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT
   1 oz. Jack Daniel’s
   Splash of sarsaparilla
   Rock salt
   Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt.
   Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel’s and can of sarsaparilla.
   Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla.
   Watch for looters.
   When you spot one, blast his backside with rock salt.
   Drink shot. Repeat.

   ============================================================

   THE CHAIN SAW
   1 oz. Goldschlager
   1 oz. Rumplemintz
   3 oz. Jim Beam
   Splash of vermouth
   Combine Goldschlager, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can.

   Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard.

   Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.

   ============================================================

   FOUR-WAY STOP
   1 1/2 oz. vodka
   1 1/2 oz. vodka and Midori
   1 1/2 oz. vodka and Galliano
   1 1/2 oz. vodka and grenadine

   Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass.
   Serve one to yourself and three other people.
   The person with the clear shot of vodka drinks first.
   The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on.
   If somebody drinks out of order, develop a quick case of road rage and slap him silly.

   ============================================================
   BLUE TARP
   1 1/2 oz. Curacao
   2 oz. pineapple juice
   Splash of lime

   Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve.
   Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup.
   If you’re impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn’t hurt himself in the process.

   ============================================================
   FEMA FIZZLE
   1 oz. Southern Comfort
   2 oz. sloe gin
   Tonic water
   One week after the storm has passed and your neighborhood is still in ruins with no sign of
   help on the way, combine Southern Comfort and gin in a cocktail glass.
   Fill remainder with tonic and add a dash of Angostura bitters.
   Serve with a nut brownie. Before drinking, raise the glass and say the toast,
   ‘Doing a helluva job, Brownie

5. CeeCee Said,

   Lancaster – YOU are MY kind of person! I am printing that all out for my bar guide ROFL!!!!!!

   Lincee – hoping you and everyone there in that hot mess are all safe. Best of luck girl!

6. Colorado Cat Said,

   Lincee: Hoping you are safe and not displaced!?

7. allymcbeal44 Said,

   Hope you are OK!! my thoughts and prayers are with you!!

8. AggieFan Said,

   Lincee, hoping you are doing well. This cold front that blew in Sunday has sure helped us not be soooo hot! We have our windows open and a nice breeze has been blowing for days….candles at night and we are doing fine. At least we have water for showers….first day back at work and want to be home continuing the clean-up. We had over a dozen trees in our yard, all uprooted….trees so old that they survived Carla and Alecia….Ike did them in….good luck to you and keep your chin up. We are alive and that’s what counts!

9. BC Said,

   #4 Lancaster – really funny!

   Lincee, been thinking about you and hope you are hanging in.
   hurricanes, stock market mess, very depressing politics…… yuck!

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