Thank you guys so much for being patient as I battle the Texas/Louisiana “cold” and come hither looks from roughnecks. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.
And thanks for all the Our Host Chris Harrison support. He emailed me the other day to let me know how much you guys rock. Keep it up! It’s nice to get lots of comments and traffic on your site. That’s how we bloggers feel love. And as of last night when I sat down to write this thing after suffering through horrendous American Idol tryouts in which I was permanently behind a couch cushion or poking sharp metal objects in my ear, there are almost 100 comments on a post that isn’t even the recap.
I said it last week and I’ll say it again…the Bachelor is BACK!
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
(Please read from last week, because I can’t cut and paste. I’m in an antiquated place that doesn’t have Internet access and webMAN is actually doing all the work this week. LOVE YOU WEBMAN!)
We begin this week’s episode at Jason’s house, watching Ty pack all of his tiny belongings in a Lightning McQueen suitcase. I was a little confused at first, assuming that Jason was helping Ty pick out the perfect ensemble to wear on their first group date. Little did I know that Jason has decided to let Ty go stay with his Mom. I’m guessing it was a legal matter. Ty’s Mom didn’t want him in a brothel for the next month perhaps? She feels that seeing boobs out by the pool is a bit too much for a three-year-old? Maybe she’s afraid he will mistake Megan’s super fun red alcoholic beverage for some tropical punch Kool-Aid. Or maybe the inevitable happened. Ty landed himself a gig of his own and he’s working to contribute to his college fund. You go Ty.
Meanwhile, Our Host Chris Harrison is looking all cute in a purple striped number and welcomes the girls to their mansion. They answer, “GOOD MORNING CHRIS” in unison which always makes me cringe. My own personal nails on the chalkboard. I’m just saying.
The intern helps Stephanie with her 15 suitcases of shoes and accessories, liquors the girls up with mimosas and herds them all downstairs to pow wow with Chris Harrison. The girls are so excited to be in their new house and can’t wait for the date boxes to arrive.
But wait. This season…we have a TWIST! Not all of them will be going on a date with Jason every week.
Bum, Bum, BUM! I have to admit…it’s a good twist.
Even though I can’t remember who Naomi was at this time, she thinks this idea sucks.
Boobs, Butts and Booze
Jason shows up out of the blue at the girls’ house to hang out by the pool. He is interested in seeing how they look and act when they are just being themselves.
Here’s what we learn:
- Kari was upset that she didn’t have makeup on. Fortunately, she was able to achieve optimum hair height on her poof. That was close!
- Jason pulls Megan aside and reassures her that even though she got the courtesy rose set aside for Bachelorettes who do not posses Bachelorette qualities according to other Bachelorettes, he wants her here. Even if she is wearing a weird terrycloth wrap up from 1980.
- Jillian asks Jason to come to the side of the pool so she can straddle him chicken fight style. She wants to show him her goofy side. Because the hot dog thing wasn’t goofy enough. Then they talk about ketchup and mustard while feeding each other fajitas…the perfect poolside snack.
- Shannon the stalker has ginormous boobs and is ready to have Jason as a hubby. She reveals this while rubbing suntan lotion on his back and shoulders. Afterwards, she tells him that all her girlfriends are married and currently pregnant at the moment. She feels left out and is ready to be a Mom.
- All the girls who didn’t shave their armpits that morning are inside because they are embarrassed. Luckily, they were able to hear the ABC intern ring the doorbell, signaling that there is a possible date box outside. To their surprise, it’s a ROSE and note for Jason held securely by a white poker chip. Classy.
- Armpit hair girls travel together (for solidarity reasons) and present the note/rose to Jason, interrupting Nikki’s speech on how some girls are not in this for the right reasons.
- The girl I always think looks like a stranger and Jason talk about charity work at Shannon the stalker throws ice at them on the balcony.
- Sweet Stephanie decides to take control and makes a couple of margaritas and saunters over to Jason, who is talking to Spray Tan Natalie. Instead of being mean and stealing him away, she stands there awkwardly. She finally tells Jason that she would like to talk when they are done, takes her walk of shame back to the cabana with the other girls and drinks both margaritas herself. Nikki thinks she should have been more aggressive.
- Jason gives the rose to Jillian and her hot dogs. Alas! Jillian has to get ready in like five minutes! Lauren, who was originally upset that she didn’t get a rose, is totally fine now. Because she would have had to wear her hair curly on the date and that would have freaked her out because she wouldn’t have had the time to Chi it properly. She’s now stoked that she didn’t get the rose. CLOSE CALL!
Solo Date One
Jillian the Hot Dog Girl
Dinner and Dancing at Disney Hall
Lord help me if the cast of Disney’s Aladdin sings “A Whole New World” on this date.
Jillian and Jason eat chocolate covered strawberries. FYI…those are sort of hard to eat. Very juicy. She needed a napkin, but didn’t have one. That can be awkward. But not when you are Jillian. This chick’s from Canada, yah? She can roll with it. She’s not sour-croat at all. (Read sauerkraut in Canadian accent.) She’s dated enough croats (Jillian word) and is ready to move on to some mustard.
And what better way to do that than a personal concert by the guy who serenades me in my dreams…Robin Thicke. My girl Jillian owns this once-in-a-lifetime moment, grabs Jason off the couch and starts getting down. And let me say that they were pretty good with Robin all up in their grill! I was impressed.
The tune changes to soft and mellow. The pair return to the couch and snuggle into each other while balancing their champagne flutes. Then Jason can’t help it. He leads her to the dance floor again while Rob plunks it out on the piano. Man that crooner is sexy! Jason says that Jillian is fun and easy to talk to. He says it’s the most intimate date he’s ever been on. (Beats that shark thing you did with DD, huh Jason?) Robin crescendos, kicks the piano stool away and gives Jason the perfect environment in which to plant the perfect kiss. And he follows through. Go Jason! Robin is stoked. So cute. Jason dips Jillian at the end. Nice. I’m a sucker for a dancer. You may have just upgraded from Melba toast my friend.
Solo Date Two
Melissa the Cheerleader
Magic Eight Ball Blimp
Just before Melissa heads upstairs to pack all of her belongings, she gets a detailed description of Jillian’s date, including the magical kiss they shared on the dance floor. Poor Melissa starts to get bummed out, but quickly lifts her own mood by giving herself spirit sprinkles in the bathroom mirror. She dresses in her favorite tank top and scarf and leaves the mansion for an awesome date.
We learn that Melissa is super nervous because she hasn’t been on a date in forever because she’s had the same boyfriend since she was 15. Her fellow cheerleaders encouraged her to try-out for the Bachelor because that is a sure fire way to beat the dating blues. Date on national TV!
Jason meets her by the seashore and forces her to chug down an oyster. He says you should just go fast and swallow it whole.
Because normal people in this world know that THAT is the only method in being able to stomach one of these slimy creatures. If I had been there, I would have told her to hold her nose for good measure. But that’s just me. It might be my opinion…but it’s the truth.
Melissa takes his advice, shoots the oyster tequila style and proceeds to choke, dab watery eyes and snot her way through a conversation about how she wants to be a first grade teacher. Jason feels bad because he had already stereotyped this chick the first night. He’s impressed that her future goals do not consist of liberties and two minutes dances to anything on the 1995 Jock Jams CD. This girl wants something more rewarding in her life besides being Miss October in the DCC calendar. Jason is happy to learn that she is passionate about kids and admits that she surprised him in every way possible.
Later, we find Jason and Melissa on a rock formation, watching the sun set and waves crash. Melissa notices that something strange in the distance is headed towards them.
It’s the Goodyear Blimp. And it’s has a digital sign that reads, “Hello Melissa!”
Oh this freaks our cheerleader out! Sure she’s seen this contraption floating over Texas Stadium every single home game, but this one knows her name!
Jason encourages Melissa to ask the blimp a question.
Melissa: “Will I get a rose tonight?”
Magic 8 Ball Blimp: “Too early to tell.”
Ouch. I’m going to go ahead and say that the ABC Psychotherapist is the wizard who is behind the emerald curtain in this scenario. You know Jason was sweating bullets when she asked that…mentally chanting, “Don’t commit to anything. Don’t commit to an answer. Keep it vague.” And did she deliver.
Sadly, the ABC Psychotherapist assumed that Melissa would freak out with this answer and we could have a little drama on the beach. Melissa admits that the answer stung, but follows up with another bold question.
Melissa: “Will I get a kiss tonight?”
Magic 8 Ball Blimp: “Signs point to yes.”
Lincee: “Am I going to throw up any time during the remainder of this date?”
Magic 8 Ball Blimp: “It is certain.”
Jason is stoked that the ABC Psychotherapist left the gate wide open for him to make out with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. This is definitely going in his scrapbook!
After the two unlatch from each other, Jason asks if she wants to go for a ride in the Magic 8 Ball Blimp. Melissa is speechless. But her mouth is open wide. (That was literally in my notes!)
Whilst in the Magic 8 Ball Blimp, Jason asks Melissa (in that robotic head phone voice) if she would accept the date rose while she affectionately twists his leg hair into tiny knots. As if on cue, they both lower their microphones on the headset and lean in for a passionate kiss.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that was a second take. I’m sure they totally leaned in, bumped microphones, created all sorts of feedback and laughed hysterically. The ABC cameraman was cool enough to give them another take because Melissa signed a calendar for “his son” and all was well.
After the date, Melissa reminds us that she is 25 (I see that as being a problem FYI) and it has been forever since she’s been on a date. We get it Mel. The last time you two stepped with a boy was the Pi Beta Phi Firedance at Baylor. Which wasn’t really at Baylor, because the Baptist school didn’t allow dancing on campus back then. And it didn’t count because your dress was a little too binding to really get down and do the Tootsie Roll. You’ve waited long enough. Your Magic 8 Ball date was perfect. Now go write a cheer about it in your diary.
Group Date
Natalie, Erica, Naomi, Nikki, Lauren, Kari, Sharon, Mollie
Let’s put the glam into Hollywood glamour
Jason is pumped to take eight of the girls on a date. They start off in a dress shop where each girl is allowed to pick out an outfit…everything from accessories to shoes. Erica makes a beeline for the shiny fabric section. Nikki wonders if anything will fit her tiny waist and huge rack without having her beauty queen seamstress available to alter. Lauren sulks in a corner because Jason hasn’t noticed her in the last two minutes. Kari uses the lighted mirrors in the dressing room to pluck her eyebrows. Sharon feels giddy. Mollie plots her next move and Spray Tan Natalie tells Jason through teary eyes that it has been a dream of hers for a guy to take her to a shop and let her buy whatever she wanted. She hugs him with a death grip and thanks him for making her dreams come true.
Time to get a new dream there Natalie. How about this one? My dream is that Jason cease and desist from wearing graphic t-shirts with vests. It’s sad.
And what group date would be complete without the girls parading around in skimpy bikinis? Jason starts to feel the mood is getting too serious, so he suggested they all talk about their secret hidden talents.
Jason does the robot and some basic break dancing moves. Luckily, he doesn’t take himself too seriously and I am able to forgive him for making me hide behind my laptop screen as my Mom and sister laugh hysterically.
Kari, Molly and Sharon decide to do a synchronized swimming routine.
Insert Jim Halpert face here.
Molly decides that the synchronized swimming debacle may have hurt her chances for a rose. In order to capture Jason’s attention in a good way, she pulls him up to the comfy couch section (complete with furry animal blankets…thank you intern) and confides in Jason that she has an even better talent than what he’s just witnessed.
Jason: “What’s your talent?”
Lincee: “Oh vomit. I don’t even know what she’s going to say, but vomit.”
Molly: “I’m a good kisser.”
Lincee: “Of course you are.”
Molly: “Wanna see?”
Jason: “You are pretty talented.”
Lincee: “Magic 8 Ball Blimp. Will Molly drive me nuts the rest of the date?”
Magic 8 Ball: “You betcha!”
Back in the swimming pool, Spray Tan Natalie points and giggles, announcing that Molly and Jason are making out in the Lion’s Den. Nikki freaks out and requests that Spray Tan stop talking about other people’s private and intimate moments. She does not and will not tolerate this behavior.
Later we learn that Nikki has only kissed one person since she was 17. It was her ex-boyfriend of 11 years who clearly was not ready to get married. Miss Illinois has resorted to reality television as her next step into the dating world. She and Melissa must be drinking the same water.
Because Nikki is more mature than the rest, she will not resort to kissing Jason just to get ahead of the game. She will, however, lay horizontally with him in the furry animal blanket pit and throw other girls under the bus by confessing to Jason that there are some Bachelorettes who are NOT, I repeat NOT, ready to be Moms. Jason is THIS CLOSE to asking Nikki who these girls are, but decides to not let her sabotage. He hasn’t even kissed everyone yet!
Later, the girl who we never remember named Naomi decides to get real with Jason and tell him that she really cares about him. She wants them to be more than friends, but if anything—she is there for him.
This was her way of showing her true feelings, therefore, she assumes she will be rewarded with a kiss. Poor Jason translates the heart-to-heart as “I just wanna be friends” and goes in to hug her, turning his head at the last second. Naomi’s pursed lips meet his jaw line and awkwardness ensues.
There was an explosion of “NOOOOOOOOOO” from my family. I think my Dad even yelled, “DENIED!”
Jason feels awful that he misinterpreted the signs. He gives her a token kiss for her efforts.
I can now say with confidence that I will remember who Naomi is from now on.
As the night comes to an end, Jason bestows the date rose on Molly and everyone else rolls their eyes. He takes them all home, walks them to the door and heads back to his limo for some rest and relaxation.
Little did he know that Brazil had paid the ABC cameraman $20 to let her inside so she could wait for him. This isn’t the ABC cameraman’s first rodeo. He knows that the producers love drama. He takes the $20, gets a couple of shots of the intern opening the door to Brazil saying, “Hola!” and secretly celebrates the fact that he’s going to get either a raise or a bonus without even trying! The case is on him tonight intern! Whoo hoo! Brazil waits inside doing her best yoga breathing.
Jason meanders up to the Yukon, opens the door and is greeted by this stalker chick who ironically is not Shannon. She yells, “Surprise!” and Jason eyes the driver as if to say, “What the heck man?”
Brazil confronts him, questioning why he did not choose her to go on a date this week? She reminds him that she wants to stay and that her intuition tells her that Jason is her husband. Jason politely thanks her, bids her adios and shoves her out of the back passenger side door.
Rose Ceremony
Jason pulls Erica aside and asks her why her attitude changed after the shopping pool party. Erica admits that she was disappointed she didn’t get a rose. Jason admires her for telling the truth.
Wow. I expect people to tell the truth. Interesting.
Lauren, in her favorite Carmen Miranda dress, confesses that she isn’t totally comfortable with this whole Bachelor thing and wonders why it isn’t more of a two-way street.
Hi Lauren? It’s Lincee. Are you aware that you are on a show called The Bachelor? The commercials talk about how 25 women compete for the love of one man. Did you not get that memo? Look alive girl.
Jason says that he needs to pay more attention to Lauren. Lincee says that Jason digs her or she would be gone by now after that comment.
Hey look! It’s Nikki! Guess what she’s talking about? How these girls don’t know what it will take to uproot their lives and start over with an insta-family.
Jason makes his way over to Shannon…who immediately asks him, “Do you remember my name?” Jason laughs uncomfortably and mumbles, “Shannon” and sits in astonishment as she plays the begat game.
“You remembered my name! You are so smart. And so cute! OK. Let’s play a game about how well I know you. Ty’s birthday is January 24. You have a mole on your right butt cheek that is in the shape of a cloud. I think you should get that checked out by the way even though YOU ARE SO CUTE! I know that your Mom was a drum major in the high school band and you have a tendency to only eat Tic Tacs in odd numbers. Which is ADORABLE! Your license plate is VQD 179 and you hate the Mariners even though you are a die hard Seattle fan. The playlist entitled “Get Er Done” on your iPod is super kinky and I want you to know that I have a similar one on mine titled “Jason’s Love Tunes” that I listen to while taking bubble baths and reading Bride magazine. You are adorable. And I’m super pumped that I’m going to get a rose in a dress that pairs my two favorite colors from eight grade…purple and fuchsia. Your teeth are hot.”
Meanwhile, Courtesy Rose Megan asks Stephanie what happened with her previous marriage. Stephanie proceeds to give a ladylike answer to a very hard question and the girls bawl like babies. Stephanie consoles them all like the mother hen she is and tells them that she is not there to talk about how wonderful her husband was. She is in this to talk about how great Jason is. Later she thanks give for being a truly awesome guy. She confesses that she’s nervous, but that’s where her faith comes through. And we all cry again.
Jason has some alone time with random girl Lisa who discloses that her grandmother is really ill and it’s best is she leaves the show to be with her family. Jason thinks this is very admirable and escorts Lisa to the other girls so they can see first hand what it means to truly love your family. The girls hap heartedly wave their goodbyes and then proceed to tell the camera that they are all happy she is gone. Lauren hoists up her Carmen Miranda dress so that her strapless bra is no longer showing and flat out admits that she doesn’t care that random girl is gone.
Megan finally scores some alone time with the Bachelor and talked about how stressful her day typically is between her kid, soccer and lacrosse. Just when she’s about to get into an intimate conversation, Molly the talented kisser steals Jason away.
This does not sit well with Megan. And I have to say, I can’t blame her. Molly already has a rose. I personally get a bad vibe from Molly.
Megan voices her irritation with the girls. Erica agrees and tells the group that if she had a rose, she wouldn’t take Jason away. That’s just good character.
Cut to Molly and Erica in the kitchen and Erica telling Molly that she supports her. She just did what she had to do and no one is judging.
No one except Molly who walks up to home girl and calls her out. Little did Erica know that Megan was reapplying her eyeliner around the corner from Molly and Erica’s little conversation. They return to the group of girls in the den and get in a very girly drama queen argument about who said what. Very Desperate Future Housewives of them. Erica talks about bad karma and how she’s disappointed in Megan. I personally can’t believe we are still talking about this. I need some of Megan’s tropical punch delight to even make it through the rose ceremony!
Nikki is taking advantage of this time while the others are fighting to ask Jason a very important question:
Nikki: “Do you feel that you have the potential to find a wife here?”
Jason: “Yeppers.”
Nikki: “I want you to know that not everyone is here for the right reasons.”
Lincee: “Seriously? Does she have anything else to contribute?”
Back in the old Pier One bureau room, Our Host Chris Harrison asks Jason about a few of the girls that stood out to him that night.
OHCH: “So how do you like Stephanie? She’s given up a lot to be here.”
Jason: “So sad that she’s going to miss her daughter’s birthday next week. Can you get on that for me Chris? Maybe fly her down here so they can be together? I’d like to make that happen since I’ll be letting her go soon.”
OHCH: “No problem J. I’ll use my miles.
Tonight is tougher. I have to let two women go. On to Lauren. Dude. What was up with her? Needy much? Or just freaked out?
Jason: “Lauren is hot. And used to being the center of attention. I can see why. She let me know that she needs to be noticed. So I will be doing that a lot more in the future. It helps if she isn’t wearing a dress with such bright colors that I have to wear my sunglasses to have a conversation, but that’s fine. She has a nice rack and I appreciate that.”
OHCH: “Good point. Now what about Nikki? Is it driving you nuts that she keeps telling you about who is not in this for the right reasons? Because I am about to pull my hair out. And I know that super cool blogger Lincee is too. What are your thoughts?
Jason: “We have a ton in common. She’s easy to talk to and really cares about things ending up right for me. I trust her.”
OHCH: “I guess I can see that. But dude. Shannon. Total stalker. I’m telling you to run…run the opposite direction right now.”
**Our Host Chris Harrison is hit with a tazered by producers and forced to retract his previous statement.**
OHCH: “If you let me finish my sentence, I was going to say to run…run in the opposite direction to a jewelry store and get that girl a ring. This is good TV my friend!”
Jason: “She’s funny and seems to know a lot about me. That’s flattering. It’s cool to have someone who is a fan.”
OHCH: “I’ll tell you who is a fan. And her name is Brazil.”
Jason: “No joke Chris! That chick attacks me in the limo. What was that about? I get that she wants to be noticed, but get a life Brazil. I DID NOT PICK YOU. TAKE THE HINT.”
OHCH: “She took it alright. I wouldn’t be making any trips to South America in the near future. What about Megan? Are you aware of all the drama that surrounds that girl?”
Jason: “When you are that pretty, it happens.”
Jason finally narrows it down and makes a decision to give roses to the following:
Megan (This is a statement that he announced her first.)
Nikki
Lauren
Naomi
Stephanie
Kari
Natalie
Shannon (Again says YES before he asks her to accept rose.)
Erica (Grabs Jason’s hand to feel her boob/heartbeat.)
Poor Sharon. She needs a job. And to put on about 20 pounds. Poor girl.
And Brazil is so confused. She probably wonders why she and Jason never sang “You’re So Vain” together. Or maybe she wonders why no one offered for her to “frost” herself with a ginormous yellow diamond. Truly this is what she thought the night had in store for her when she wore the exact same dress Kate Hudson wore in “How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days.”
Bless both their hearts.
Next week, Stephanie gets a surprise and head concussion when she literally runs in to her daughter Sophia. Fun times!
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee
Great recap as always!!! My pick is hot dog girl or cheerleader!
LOVE that you mentioned the Kate Hudson dress. As usual Lincee, you rocked my socks!!
thank you thank you thank you. this made my day, lincee! oh yes– and the one-on-one conversation with OHCH and jason was brilliant.
and i definitely get a bad vibe from molly. she’s almost like the best friend who tries to steal your man type of chick.
I’m a Dallas chick so I’m definitely rooting for Melissa.
armpit hair girls travel together (for solidarity reasons) = hilarious
I’m so impressed that you and OHCH e-mail each other. You’re kind of a big deal Lincee.
As always your recap was awesome! I am still wondering why anyone let Jason wear the vest with a graphic tee…so not cool.
You rock, Lincee. Totally worth the wait. I knew it would be. THANK YOU!
Regarding Melissa: “And it didn’t count because your dress was a little too binding to really get down and do the Tootsie Roll. You’ve waited long enough. Your Magic 8 Ball date was perfect. Now go write a cheer about it in your diary.” – Heelarious. And what was up with her getting up off the couch & yanking her sweatpants DOWN & tank top UP? Is that a DCB move?
Awesome recap as always! Glad to see I’m not the only person who recognized Brazil’s dress! I think it’ll come down to hot dog girl & nikki- even though she is all about saying the other girls aren’t there for the right reasons.
Great job as usual. I feel like I am in a cult, I cant function normally until I have read comments. And #7 I too am deeply impressed that Lincee and OHCH have a personal connection. Cant wait for next week.
Lincee,
As always, a perfect job!! You really nailed this one. I must say my favorite part of this show was Robin Thicke. I absolutely love him and he was awesome.
I need to get your take on something. I have been watching the psycho stalker Shannon and I think she is perfect for……………………wait for it………………………………….Twilly! Honestly, this girl has a serious case of the “Twillies”!!!! I just think they would be perfect. Two ginormous goof balls, a match made in heaven. OHCH if you are reading this, can you make that happen????
I don’t know what I would do without this blog. LOL
Brilliant! And so glad you picked up on the Kate Hudson dress! Another reason I love you girl.
My sister and I watched together Monday night, and she could NOT get over the fact that Brazil looked like Michael Jackson post-surgery. I have to say I agree. We kept giggling about it after the realization throughout the episode.
We also noticed the Kate Hudson dress.
If anyone can’t get enough of OHCH, he hosts a show on HGTV called Designers Challenge. I don’t think they make new episodes, and the wit is definitely not as present, but it still brings a smile to my face!
One of your funniest recaps yet! And while I’m possessive of my name
I too am rooting for Melissa, although the “going to teach first grade so I can spend summers with my kids” was a little too much for me. Stephanie just seems too old for Jason, too prim and proper — oh, and thank the lord she didn’t say “tragic plane crash” again in reciting what happened to the hubby — I would gone into defibs. Stalker-Shannon gives me the willies with the “I know ALL about you, Jason” — be afraid, Jason, be very afraid. Megan seems to be taking some perverse pleasure in getting Erica riled up, but frankly, can you blame her? One other thing: While I would not condone swearing in front of children, I think it’s unfair and unreasonable to believe that just because anyone (Megan in this case) swears in the company of adults (and especially while likkered up by the producers!) does not mean she speaks the same way in front of her kid — many parents speak differently to children than to adults, perhaps using vocabulary more easily understood by children. Was anyone really surprised when, everyone under the influence, Megan let loose with a bunch of cursing after being voted “out” by a bunch of women who hardly know her? Megan’s not my fav, but I like that she’s not inclined to put up with some of the crapola these women can dish!
I’ve been waiting for this all day! You’re the only reason I got hooked back on the Bachelor so I could read your blogs after..:)
I agree with ABK (#7). You ARE a big deal. I bet you have many leather bound books…
Apparently Molly is pretty much the “steal your friend’s boyfriend” kind of girl. This is very he-said, she-said, but Molly slept with my co-worker’s roommate’s boyfriend while they were “on a break” even though she and the roommate were friends. I guess he’s not allowed to watch the Bachelor this season, but my co-worker’s roommate is rooting for Molly to fail miserably.
Just wanted to say thanks for the Baylor Pi Beta FireDance shout out!
TTF Lincee!
Great recap once again! Okay, did anyone else absolutely hate the dress Erica was wearing when she was yelling at Megan. The grey dress that looked like it didn’t even fit. And it showed a little nipplege… Oh my!
Ok, always love ya Lincee! You made my day! Thanks for picking up the Kate Hudson dress… my hubby didn’t believe me about it. Entire recap… hilARious. Thanks again!!!
My picks are HotDog and Cheerleader. I like them both so far, I think. But yes, Cheerleader is young… we’ll see.
Lincee……..I am “freezing” in this cold we are having. It’s horrible! And thanks for a great recap. I did not watch, only flipped during commercials of 24. Kiefer beats out Melba Toast ALL DAYS!!! So, thanks for the play by play.
# 13……that is hilarious!!! Hopefully Twilly has found himself a good girl. I think even stalker is too much for him!!!
“Oh this freaks our cheerleader out! Sure she’s seen this contraption floating over Texas Stadium every single home game, but this one knows her name!”
After reading that, I had diet coke running down my chin and all over my shirt!
I SO enjoyed this recap. Definitely worth the wait.
Thanks Lincee! It helps to have something fun to look forward to…until next week! If our girl Jillian decides not to be a designer she can always go to work for Oscar Meyer!
And…for all those that can’t get enough things Bachelor – another very funny bach blog..by Kristin Baldwin on: ew dot com
Did anyone else notice Nikki’s “sideburns”?
I am SO glad others noticed the Kate Hudon dress! I argued with my husband for about 5 minutes that it was the EXACT same dress.
Does anyone else think Stephanie looks a bit like Patrick Swayze??
Best recap yet. My personal fav, “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that was a second take. I’m sure they totally leaned in, bumped microphones, created all sorts of feedback and laughed hysterically. The ABC cameraman was cool enough to give them another take because Melissa signed a calendar for “his son” and all was well.” I wondered that too and thought that if it was me I would need at LEAST 6 takes! Can’t wait to see little Sophia next week!
I’m so glad you noticed the collison between Stephanie and her daughter in the previews. I started laughing when I saw it. I watched it like 3 times to make sure I wasn’t imagining it!! Hilarious!
I still like Jillian best. And Nikki is sort of ok. Not a fan of Shannon – that lady is crazy! Great recap, as always!
Has anybody noticed that Lauren is really “Tina Fabulous” from Andrew Firestone’s season? I can’t wait to hear her say, “I’m conservative with my kisses” as she makes him sweat her more.
Oh my god Lincee you are so funny!! Awesome recap. That whole paragraph about Shannon was priceless and I too noticed the dress from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. You have totally pegged all of these girls. I like Jillian, but I am worried about the friend zone. Their first kiss did not look that great. Could have been the editing, but the kiss with Melissa looked much more passionate. (I agree that Melissa is too young but I think Jason likes her.) Mollie is annoying and reminds me of the dark haired girl with the bride magazines – maybe from Travis Season, I forget. Erica and Megan have to go. He must like Lauren to keep her around, must be conversations they are not showing us. Spray Tan Natalie belongs on Paris Hilton’s My New BFF – not the Bachelor.
So much material for you and OHCH to blog about. I am loving his blog too. Our boy Jason is doing a great job. He gets cuter each week!
#13 and #23—- according to his facebook page, Twilley is in fact SINGLE. Let’s get the info over to Stalker Shannon!
#21
The dress Erica had on was horrible. It didn’t fit and she looked pretty intoxicated.
in living room: I would never have stolen him away if I had a rose like Molly did.
in kitchen: Molly, I have got your back.
Lincee, we need to engineer a spot for you on the ATFR show – you and OHCH could totally co host that and it would be SO great!!! Although, then your comments would be a little proscribed by ABC and likely not as funny, you deserve the attention. Loving the recap! It always makes me want to go back and watch again – like seeing a DVD with the director’s commentary on.
The fashion faux pas on this show remind me of American Idol – you know how the contestants (after it’s narrowed down to top ten or so) get a stylist to help them? Surely that stylist is available in the summer when Bachelor is being taped – come on ABC, pony up and get these girls some help! Maybe you could ask Vanna White to donate some of her castoffs – cause clearly, some of these girls are from towns without decent shopping choices.
I still think (because it makes me feel better) that Jason would send home more than two if he could…that’s why some of these scratch-my-head-she’s-still-there chics continue to get roses…
Forgot to say – webMAN you ROCK! Thanks for being there for us today – as you could tell, we were all gettin’ a little wigged out without our fix.
A few things from a guy’s point of view:
1. I was afraid this season could turn out to be another ‘Bob’ season and it’s kinda sorta starting to come true. By that I mean, Bob kissed every single thing that moved that season and the fact that they were all there for him went to his head. It made that very likable guy from the Bachelorette season someone not so likable.
2. Jason, Dude, you really worked out hard to prepare for the season, we get it. Stop wearing Ty’s t-shirts and get one, or two even, where the sleeves at least come down past the shoulders. (Another reason why he’s dipping his toe in the unlikable pool… for me)
3. Did anyone else find it a bit creepy when he arrived at the pool, said to the ladies that they should all just relax and have a good time because, “ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO BE MY WIFE.” C’mon, help me out… that’s not weird to anyone else?
By the way, my Wife and I watch together and she had the same thoughts.
Just wondering.
Melissa was on the DCC reality show as well-The Making of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on CMT. Makes me wonder if she has a thing for reality TV-though she is cute.
Also, fellow Baylor alum, though not a sororital-I love all your Baylor related allusions!
Way to go Lincee!!! =) Awesome recap… the “sour croat” and “spirit sprinkles” was hilarious!!
Great recap! I was expecting something about the girl who was happy she didn’t get Jillian’s date because she wouldn’t be able to get her hair done on time. That was a classic moment. Keep doing what you are doing…many of us LOVE it!!
#26 – Totally noticed the sideburns! Eek! And, Lincee, Jock Jams — that cracked me up!
Great recap! I thought that Melissa looked familiar. You’re right #38, she was on the Cheerleader show on CMT. I was hoping that she wasn’t just in for the publicity. Like Jason, I thought I had her pegged before her 1 on 1 date. But unlike Jason, her I-want-to-be-a-first-grade-teacher-and-devote-myself-to-my-kids-during-the-summer routine made me MORE suspicious, not less so. It just seemed like the perfect answer to a question posed to a Miss American pagent contestant.
Also, I agree with #37 on point #3. It kinda weirded me out that he said one of you is going to be my wife. When he has said repeatedly that he hasn’t fallen for anyone yet and he’s still trying to get a feeling for everyone. I know you may WANT to fall in love and get married but to act like it’s a done deal before the feelings have had time to occur seems a little creepy. I was watching the girls face’s to see if anyone kinda grimaced, but they were all smiles, so maybe it was just me.
Great recap! I, too, only watch the show in order to better understand this hilarious blog.
Come on Lincee, show a little love for Melissa!! She is Adorable!
Okay, am I the only one that laughed when Stephanie said, “He needs to know that I have a heart and that it’s beating…” in reference to Jason/Mustard Man!
Jason seems to think he needs to be an equal opportunity guy…just kiss them all!
Every year I swear off watching The Bachelor. I successfully boycott the first episode. Then I break down and read your blog and I’m hooked. I made it two episodes this year, but I’m still loving your editorials! Will I make it one more week? I doubt it. Thanks for making it so fun!
Great recap, Lincee! Loved the diary comment.
Does anyone else think that Megan looks like one of those ladies from that show Designing Women? She was the oldest one – I can’t think of her name but I think Megan is her twin!
I totally agree, #37. Creepy. Just Creepy.
Still love Stephanie but agree she may not be right for Jason. But could she be the next Bachelorette? Would it ruin her sweet southern girl charm? Is it possible she could one day tell 15 men poolside that one of them is indeed her future husband? Say isn’t so!
This show affects the normal thought process. Clearly.
I like Jillian. But I just can’t get past the hotdog thing. But hey, it worked for her. Hate to sound like a broken record, but all beef hotdogs. MUST be all beef. If Jason were a hot dog, would he be all beef? I’ve read on here that he is Jewish. Guess I missed that.
Lovin’ your blog!
not ashamed guy, totally! It is uber creepy every time (and it’s been more than once) Jason announces with utmost certainty that his “wife” is in the house/room/etc. Ugh. Even with an apparently nice guy like Jason, stuff like this continues to make me realize NONE of it is real. I mean, how can you truly believe that out of an arbitrary selection of 25 random women (okay…maybe 20, once you take away the producer plants) that you’d find you wife? Hell, you could line up 25 guys who truly would be compatible with me and chancs are i wouldn’t fall in love with one in the forever kind of way.
Anyway, while it’s sad for Bachelor Joe or Bachelorette Suzy to go into this really expecting to come out with a spouse 6 weeks and like only three one-on-one dates later, it’s doubly worse for a parent to do the same thing. Sheesh.
On the other hand, maybe I can apply this to my life in the real world. Next time I walk into a sandwich shop, I’m totally sniffing the air and announcing, “I just KNOW my lunch is in this room. I just have to choose which one!”
At this point, if The Bachelor has taught me anything, approximately 15 slutty sandwiches will fall from the sky and swoon at my feet.
Lincee, you are the best!! My fave lines, “You have a mole on your right butt cheek that is in the shape of a cloud. I think you should get that checked out by the way even though YOU ARE SO CUTE! ” along with Jillian’s sour-croat comments. Too funny!
Of course, now that I think about it….my husband is a mustard guy! Hmmm…maybe we should do a study!
I keep thinking Megan looks like Lindsay Price from “Lipstick Jungle”
I don’t know if I have a favorite girl like prior seasons…but since ole Melba isn’t my fav Bachelor, I guess it doesn’t matter?
(BTW, I am thinking of hiring Shannon to track down my ex-boyfriend who owes me some money…I mean since she’s so good at this “research” thing! Scary!)
I remember MeANNA announcing to all the guys that “one of you are my husband,” too! It was her awkward grammar that glued it to my brain. Jason has also picked up her mantra “I know this show works.” Really? Does it? Just like it worked for MeAnnna & Brad, Jason & MeAnna, Jessee & MeAnna? Yeah, it works!
LOVED the recap! Although this comment almost made me spit coffee all over my desk:
“Lauren, in her favorite Carmen Miranda dress, confesses that she isn’t totally comfortable with this whole Bachelor thing and wonders why it isn’t more of a two-way street. Hi Lauren? It’s Lincee. Are you aware that you are on a show called The Bachelor? The commercials talk about how 25 women compete for the love of one man. Did you not get that memo? Look alive girl.”
Keep up the great work Lincee!!!
I was SO hoping you would notice Brazil’s Andie Anderson dress. It is sad how many times i’ve seen that movie…
AWESOME recap. Someday, we should have a giant IHGB Houston-wide viewing party
#18—Haha!- Gotta love Ron Burgandy
My watch party also noticed the Kate Hudson dress, even pulled out the DVD to compare.
Does anyone else think that Spray Tan Natalie kind of looks like Tina Fabulous?? (That’s taking it back old school….) She’s kind of funny like Tina Fabulous too…
I watch with all Dallas girls, so we are pulling for Melissa!!
welcome back, lincee. welcome back. we missed you. those few extra hours without a blog were… torture! refresh… refresh… refresh… it’s like me and my stock investments. how many times can you refresh the screen before you’re officially a loser?
thanks for the blog!!!!
Lincee…you are the best blogger of them all!! While they are all amusing…you always say exactly what I’m thinking but in such a creative and funny way.
Chris Harrison…I hope you read these because #35 Paige in Atlanta has a GREAT idea for you. Since so many people only watch the show because of the blogs…it would be fun to have a mid-way show hosted by bloggers. Some of these comments are SO funny!! I believe it would fuel the show’s popularity if more people knew about the blogs.
I totally agree with #37 not ashamed guy….Jason is turning horn-dog on us. There was no cuter Bachelorette contestant than fat Bob…and no grosser Bachelor than skinny Bob. Jason and those tiny little shirts?? I’m embarrassed for him. There will be plenty of time to show off your abs…but try to stay cool in the meantime.
Nikki – needs to go…she’s got the crazy eyes!!
Shannon – please send her dumb a$$ home ASAP
Does “tragic plane crash” seem a little redundant? Has there been a fortunate plane crash? Not being mean, just sayin’.
Great recap! Favorite quote: “Poor Melissa starts to get bummed out, but quickly lifts her own mood by giving herself spirit sprinkles in the bathroom mirror.” Also loved your little wake-up call to Lauren about the fact that she is on this reality competition show called The Bachelor.
Awesome recap, as always. So funny that your dad yelled “Denied”! I love it.
Nikki’s sideburns are so bad!
And to the guy who posted above (#37), I agree about Jason saying “One of you will be my wife”. I cringe every time he says it. He was creeped out by that one girl’s “vision board” but it’s like he too has a vision board of having a wife. DD kept saying “One of you will be my husband” and look what happened. Learn from her mistake… one step at a time, bro.
Love that you mentioned the Kate Hudson dress- you know its an ABS knockoff! Nikki needs to stop- the girl who always warns the Bachelor that “some girls aren’t here for the right reasons” ALWAYS get the boot. Stephanie is sweet, but looks too old for Jason. Molly and Lauren seem interchangeable- Erica and Shannon NEED to go- SPray tan Natalie is too superficial (PS- Jason did NOT treat you to a shopping spree- ABC did). Megan is not as bad as they make her out to be, although negative points for leaving your 17 month old to go on a TV dating show- I have no idea who Kara is- at this point my faves are Jillian and the cheerleader, and the Eva Mendes girl is not that bad.
robin thicke was the perfect choice for the one on one. love his music, but i can’t watch him sing because he looks too much like his dad and i don’t know about you, but being serenaded with sexy love songs by jason seaver was never one of my dreams.
re: Jason kissing too many girls ~ I don’t really think its fair to blame him for kissing so many girls in one night. To be honest, two of the four girls initiated it by ASKING to kiss him! Was he supposed to say no? I mean, he had to personally witness Molly’s “secret talent” and if Naomi (is it?) likes to make out with her friends, who is he to judge?
re: Melissa only in it for reality tv ~ Again to be fair, Making the Squad films the auditions, people don’t try out just to be on that program. I mean its on CMT at 12 on Saturday’s, not exactly prime time tv people!
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go crawl back into my hole. See, I woke up late for work this morning and cringed at the thought of wearing my hair curly so was forced to rock the ponytail instead. Its tragic, I considered quitting my job; I mean it hardly seemed worth the total embarrassment of a ponytail! But instead I’m distracting my co-workers by wearing a low cut top to show off my stretch-marked boobs and continue talking about my great qualities just to see where their eyes lead. If that doesn’t work, I pretend I’m going in for a running hug then knock them down with my shoulder….
I’m just saying…
#49 – On the other hand, maybe I can apply this to my life in the real world. Next time I walk into a sandwich shop, I’m totally sniffing the air and announcing, “I just KNOW my lunch is in this room. I just have to choose which one!”
Oh man that had me ROLLING!!! This may be a new trend Jason has started!
Great recap Lincee!!!
Thank you for picking up on the Kate Hudson yellow dress. I was thinking, man that looks a lot like the dress…then by the end, I was like, ‘That is the dress!’ Totally there with you on that one.
Heidi (#63) – That Jason Seaver reference has me laughing at my desk. I couldn’t agree with you more! I do love his music but the family resemblance is almost creepy!
recap was great. didn’t read the comments so someone might have said this….the FORT website people have pretty much figured out who gets the final rose. and i gotta say…i’m a little disappointed. they have also figured out the last four. i am totally surprised at who they were. if you’re interested, check it out.
I’m a fan of Jillian – - I actually felt the interaction between them was honest and not contrived as it usually seems to be. We’ll see!
#64 – “Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go crawl back into my hole. See, I woke up late for work this morning and cringed at the thought of wearing my hair curly so was forced to rock the ponytail instead. Its tragic, I considered quitting my job; I mean it hardly seemed worth the total embarrassment of a ponytail! But instead I’m distracting my co-workers by wearing a low cut top to show off my stretch-marked boobs and continue talking about my great qualities just to see where their eyes lead. If that doesn’t work, I pretend I’m going in for a running hug then knock them down with my shoulder….”
Brilliant!
I loved Tina Fabulous and she is has way more personality than Spray Tan Natalie.
#47 suzieswo – yes! i noticed that last week. megan looks like dixie carter and could play her in “designing women – the prequel.”
what’s up with the dresses, y’all? maybe they had a stash of hideous leftovers from deanna’s bachelorette season. poor stephanie looked like she was on her way to a leprechaun square dance.
if you’re ‘kraut you’re out!
HA!! Leprechaun square dance . . . so true! I really like Stephanie, though.
Ok – I couldn’t stop thinking about Nikki and her sideburns! I thought for sure you would say something about that since you loved talking about Jillian “rockin’ the side ponytail”.
Lincee – it was hard waiting a little bit longer than usual for your recap – but as always – SO SO SO SO worth every laugh!!
Loved the recap Lincee.
I think that Megan looks like Julie Cooper Nichol from The OC
Sarah – what is the FORT website?
Thanks!!
This was flat-out hilarious. My favorite part was the shoutout to the 1995 Jock Jams tape. I totally got that for my 15th bday – inside a giant clear balloon with confetti. OH YEAH.
Excellent recap! So funny. Thank you Lincee. You are the best. OHCH knows talent when he reads it.
I just want to say RE: the FORT website, last time they were 100% sure Jason was the winner. It’s true that are good at finding out where the final 4, or 3, or even 2 are, but they aren’t always right.
Besides incorrectly predicting Jason was the winner, I believe the FORT site was also the one that started that business about mullet Shawn coming back after DD kicked him off. Not true, either. FORT can be fun but take everything with a grain of salt!
Shameless,
The FORT bloggers are just normal people like us…except of the occasional friend-coworker-relative of a contestant. But so many of them dedicate so much time to researching posture, freckles, hair length/color, size, shape & color of hands and/or fingers, etc. They are usually pretty spot-on. And where they get the screen caps for future episodes I don’t know. They seem to have screen caps that are not shown on previews. They already have screen caps from the fantasy dates and final last chance dates. Anyway, I agree with you to take it with a grain of salt because it is just people giving their best guesses as to what they think is going to happen, but because they dedicate so much time to this, they are usually right…not always, but usually…it’s a fun site if you don’t mind finding out the most probable ending before it’s all said & done. However, it is a sleuthing site, nothing like Lincee’s blog with so much humor!
#75-FORT stands for Fans of Reality TV. Google it in quotations…you can then navigate the site to find the Bachelor Spoilers and Speculations page which has a ton of links to different conversations…have fun!
It seems that everyone has an opinion on who Megan looks like, but I think I’ve got it – Lesley Anne Down from “Sunset Beach” and “The Bold & The Beautiful” fame. Granted Ms. Down is over 50 years old, but still Megan is the spitting image of her. Check it out on IMDB.
I heart Melissa. I do not heart Erica.
#72 houston mamacita-
when you said “what’s up with the dresses, y’all? maybe they had a stash of hideous leftovers from deanna’s bachelorette season. poor stephanie looked like she was on her way to a leprechaun square dance.”
i died. i was laughing so hard. love it.
I thought Brazil was uncannily beautiful so I guess I disagree with many of you there. I would have kept her around. But I’m surprised that more of you didn’t jump on her comments at the end about wanting a husband who loves her to death and would be so upset if she died that he would never re-marry. Is that some kind of South American fantasy or something? Wierd, if you ask me, and a bit immature. I had no problem with her hiding in the limo but it felt like she didn’t know what to say when she got there. Just say say, “Hey, I’m feeling bad that I didn’t get a date and I wanted to let you know I think your great,” or something like that. Poor Jason was freaked out by it, it seemed, so maybe it wouldn’t have mattered what she said. I guess he really didn’t like her or otherwise he would have put his kissing tryouts to work. Can’t quite figure it out, though. Of all the girls Brazil is the one I would want to lock lips with. Maybe she intimidated him or did not seem like marriage material, which she isn’t, at least not for him. She’s not exactly the girl next door. To each his own. He’s got plenty of beauties left.
#27, my husband and I had the same argument! Brazil was totally wearing the Kate Hudson dress.
Can someone please edit 83′s post?! A lot of us didn’t want to know FORT’s prediction.
Re FORT
While its true if you read anyone’s comments there it can be wrong, whoever claimed that the FORT predicted JASON would win last time is incorrect.
The previous post #83 was removed for “spoiler” reasons.
Thanks webMAN!! Now my comment (#84) doesn’t make any sense, but the rest of the readers will be happy.
#86 thank you webman! hope no one tries to ruin it again. it’s more fun to gossip and figure it out along the way. keep FORT posts at their website.
I still think that Nikki looks like Fran Drescher from The Nanny, just without the voice!!
#63 Heidi – I’m right there with you regarding Robin Thicke and thinking about his dad. I kept thinking “Growing Pains” the whole time he was singing.
#82, Paul, thanks for reminding me of that. I though the whole “love me to death” thing was pretty sick. Sounds to me like Brazil wants a pathetic loser.
If Natalie had watched previous seasons, she might not have been so excited about the jewelry date next week. Hasn’t it always led to tears in the exit limo?
I apologize – I was the poster of #83 and I thought that I had already read FORT’s prediction in some other post on this very blog! I did not intend to spoil anything for anyone and I certainly don’t pretend to know anything more than anyone else about what is going to happen. So thanks Webman for saving me from the unintended consequences of having everyone on the blog HATE me! I promise not to do it again!
Ex the FORT reference, however: I was just sayin’ – based my interpretation of the ABC formula and not based on screencaps or FORT or anyone and possibly totally inaccurate – the following about F1:
It’s not Nikki – it’s never the girl who takes it upon herself to keep the bachelor apprised of who is here for the “right reasons.”
It’s not Erica – the girl with the “bitch” edit is never F1
It’s not Shannon because ditto the girl with the “stalker” edit;
Not Stephanie – never the girl who has overcome tragic circumstances and now is ready to love again;
Not Megan, because it’s never the girl who is forthright and calls the other girls on their BS;
Not likely one of the interchangeable girls whose names we can’t remember;
And not likely the one who appears to be the front runner early on.
Which does kind of narrow it down
If this analysis has any validity at all, that is!
I don’t hate you #93. I do like to be surprised. HOWEVER, I like to hear other takes as well as I like to “figure it out”.
And FYI, I have NO CLUE who webman is. Going to find out now, I suppose.
Okay, I’m still clueless. Who is webman?
The comment page has stopped at 55 for some reason on my computer, even though at this point it says that there are 93! Even when I hit “refresh”, sooooo… not sure if anyone has mentioned THIS bachelorette lookalike: I think Megan looks just like Janine Turner, who played Maggie on Northern Exposure probably twenty years ago.
And….not to beat a dead horse, but more back-up for the “Stephanie’s A Tad Older Than 34″ theory: Bathing suit cover-ups (and her lace one was GORGEOUS) are generally preferred by the more mature, over 40 woman! We’d rather not be out there in the bright sunlight, showing our flesh. Just a thought.
Wish I could see all the comments!
Never mind! I just got the rest of the comments when I posted mine! My evening is complete!
Rena – Webman is the systems guy who takes care of Lincee’s website. He’s awesome, and we all HEART him.
Just anxious to see what DeANna will have to say – which episode will be her other 15 minutes of fame. Now, that’s real entertainment!!
I honestly don’t see any chemistry with Jason and any of these girls – they’re just so cookie-cutter – no one stands out – only some of the “D” cups.
But what DeANna won’t do for more TV time! And Jason seems to be totally oblivious to her agenda.
Yawn – the reviews are the best!
favorite part was the cocktail party with Nikki and Jason when Nikki asked if he really thought he would find someone here – within the house. Jason saying, “everyone here has such unique qualities; you have amazing qualities” (camera shot to boobs) “and they are obvious”. i laughed so hard! sorry if someone else pointed that out – didn’t read all of the comments. seriously, i rewound it and am still laughing… 3 times – still so funny!
Ok, I want you to take a second and go to the ABC website and pull up the first episode when they’re introducing the girls. In the scene where Nikki is dusting her table (or something like that, I can’t remember exactly) with her crown on, she looks exactly like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality. It’s almost a little creepy. If Sandra Bullock never smiled and Nikki never pulled her hair back to reveal the sideburns, they could pass for twins!
Don’t know if this has already been discussed but Deanna is all about her 15 minutes of fame. She is now hosting a wedding planning show on Lifetime called “Get Married”…
The Bachelorette star DeAnna Pappas didn’t get her happily ever after on reality TV, but she’ll be helping other brides-to-be plan their dream weddings. It may seem a bit odd, considering what she just went through, but she’s psyched!
DeAnna, who recently called off her engagement to show winner Jesse Csincsak, will be co-hosting Lifetime network’s Get Married.
The second season of Get Married premieres January 5. DeAnna Pappas announced her new gig on the show’s blog, writing:
“I am so happy to be co-hosting the new season of Get Married! Every weekday morning I will be bringing you the latest in wedding planning tips and trends, and weekly I will be blogging here at bloggerbrides.com.”
She just BUGS…
“This chick’s from Canada, yah? ”
Lincee, in Canada we use “eh?” As in, we love it when people make fun of us, eh?
Awesome recap as usual. And go hotdog girl!!!!
“Not Megan, because it’s never the girl who is forthright and calls the other girls on their BS” Not true at all…Shayne Lamas was that girl and she won!!! She was always sticking up for the other girls and putting the awkward gossip out there, I actaully came to love her for that reason!
I’m with you mothercita, Stephanie has got to be older then 34! I’m 31 and look like I could pass for her daughter. Granted, if I was I’d have a black eye and concussion now, but you get my point.
Do we know her last name, we should look into this a bit more, I don’t know why it bugs me so much. She is as sweet as can be, but she’s too old for him. Unless he’s looking for a sugar momma.
I have to say that I thought all three dates rocked! Being 20 feet from Robin Thicke (my date would get no play, as I would be drooling over Robin), riding in the blimp (life-long football fan, childhood fantasy) and a shopping spree (no explination needed)?!?! Seriously, had I known, I would have tried out just for those dates. Of course, I don’t know how my husband would have felt about that …
I’m already so annoyed with Stephanie and her eyebrows. Per the previews I know I’ll have to cover my eyes next week when she attempts to recreate Jason and Ty’s super cute reunion,,,but on a beach. Except she’s not smoking hot like Jason. And she’s on a wet beach. And you can tell she reconsiders the embrace-that-knocks-her-over act because she realizes she’s about to REALLY mess up her outfit by rolling in wet sand. Sophia looks completely confused with her mom’s new super physical display of affection. I am NOT going to be able to watch.
What if Deanna comes back on the Bachelor to tell us all that she made a mistake by breaking if off with JESSE and that they are really back together and are getting married-that is why she is hosting the bride show. Now that would be ABC stepping it up a few notches-and great editing. Far-fetched, I know, but that would be great TV.
Stephanie is ~ 34. I went to the same high school and she graduated in either ’91 or ’92 (I think ’92). Also, I’m not sure if this has been mentioned, but she was Miss Teen Alabama in ’91.
Ooooh. What was she like?
I found a link to the Miss Teen USA pagent from 1991 and will attempt to paste the link here – Stephanie Gwantley was indeed Miss Alabama Teen 1991~
http://www.pageantlovers.com/1991_Miss_Teen_USA_Video.html
I haven’t watched b/c I’m at work on my lunch hour but am curious to see if she’s indeed on here!
I tried cutting and pasting a link to the Miss Teen USA pagent from 1991 – its “awaiting moderation” so am not sure if it’ll be accepted but I googled Miss Alabama Teen 1991 Stephanie and her name popped up. I couldn’t find any pictures but her last name is listed.
Ah Lincee. Thank you. Hilarious, as always.
#27 – Hahaha – Stephanie DOES look like Patrick Swayze! Good call. Kind of a cross between him and Marcia Cross.
I just found time to watch my TiVo last night. One thing I noticed that hasn’t been mentioned is that when Melissa and Jason were sitting on the beach and she asked if she’d get a kiss…they are both facing the beach. The scene cuts and then they are still kissing, but she’s facing away from the beach, another cut, still facing away from the beach, last cut and suddenly she’s facing the beach again! I wonder how many times they had to film that scene?? They didn’t do a good job putting it all together that’s for sure!
Lincee, So excited to have you, Chris Harrison and The Bachelor back in my life. Seems they’ve spiced things up this season! Got to agree with the awesomeness of the latest twist. I’m sure the “I wanted a date” drama will continue to improve. Also, is it me or have they introduced some new “more intense” background music?
I literally LOL’d at work reading, **Our Host Chris Harrison is hit with a tazered by producers and forced to retract his previous statement.** The best part about this comment is I can actually see OHCH giving Jason the advice to run for it! It’s a shame they wait until Bachelor Tells All when they show outtakes, OHCH always shines with his witty comments, they really need to bring more of that into the show! Your recaps make the week much more enjoyable! I’ve been reading these recaps since the days of the growing email chain!! Keep it up!!
Jason is blogging also. http://www.people.com/bachelor He refers to Melissa as Mel….hmmmm
I didn’t personally know Stephanie — she graduated a year or two before I entered high school. She did seem to “have it all” — pageants, the lead (sugarplum fairy) in the city’s Nutcracker performance, etc. I’ve also recently heard a rumor that she dated a Backstreet Boy prior to getting married, but I don’t know which one, or if it is even true.
Thanks, Junoesq! Makes sense now.
Now I’m off to Google Stephanie.
PS I still like her. Eyebrows and all. But I’ve gotta’ know….
For the record I like her too!
Suprise! Jason on the local radio station this morning! I turned on my radio just in time to hear them introduce Jason…interesting tidbit – Jason said, “I was not looking for a mom for Ty. Ty has a mom. I was looking for someone that could be a mentor…”
Nice save to pacify the ex Jason! So for everyone that thinks he is looking for a mom-type – rethink!
Oh, I almost forgot…Jason also added this on the radio broadcast:
“Ty was not part of the process until the end. I could not pick someone without seeing her interact with Ty so Ty was introduced the last few women. I told him I want you to meet my friend. Since Ty was also meeting various camera men, crew and others, this was natural and just a few more friends to meet.”
So for those of us that were wondering how the whole Ty thing was going to go down…there it is from Jason’s lips. It will be interesting to see how it airs via ABC edit.
No one picked up on the painful “hand under the chin” smooth(?) kissing move Jason carried over from last season. There were four cringe worthy moves this week from ol’ softy lips….yikes!
I am nominating Stephanie for the next Bachelorette. I certainly have found many amongst the Bachelor/Bachelorette crowd who I love to hate, but it is rare that I actually like someone. I really like this woman. Actually, I think I fell in love with her when she stood there awkwardly with those mixed drinks and couldn’t bring herself to interrupt the convo between Spray Tan and ‘Ol Soft Lips. That’s the way to be, sister. It’s rude, under any circumstances, to butt your way into a conversation and yank somebody away. If I was on the show, I would be kicked to the curb night one for that very reason – I’d never get one-on-one time. I’m so polite.
Then Stephanie downs both drinks herself. Funny. Smart. Classy. She’s definitely going to be sent packing next week. I’ll miss her, but I’ll look forward to seeing her “this week on . . . . The Bachelorette!”
I roared when they did the ginormous boob shot of Nikki when Jason was talking about everyone’s amazing qualities. Kudos to the NBC editing staff! I think I am falling for highbrow Stephanie. She is adorable, but will not make it far. Jason likes em young and needy.
I have to give credit to all of you Lincee fans who like Stephanie. I can not get past her face. It looks like she’s had waaaay too much Botox. She seems so stilted and Old Southern Belle. I would never believe she’s 34 if one of the posters hadn’t confirmed her high school graduation year. I’d guess 40.
Hey just a thought regarding Stephanie’s Tragic plane crash story. You know how we were all asking “what other kind is there?” I guess the Hudson river crash kinda shows there is such thing as a non-tragic crash. Good thing she clarified.
#123 I thought the same thing! Great point!
Thanks Google and Wikipedia! Her name in 1991 was Stephanie Gwantley. Don’t know her married/current last name.
wow lincee you are just one of those poeple who believes whatever the producers what you to believe and can’t look past the blatant stereotypic and judge for yourself.
do you really think the world is as black and white as they try to show it or are you just jealous cuz you’re not on ths show? i’m so dissapointed.
1. stephanie is SO BORING AND TOO MOTHERLY FOR HIM. i mean all she has to contribute for the longeset time is her dead husband. honey do you not have a personality of your own? she could be his mother and acts like it
2. nikki is gross. if her boobs didn’t hang out of everything… ew. and she just judges others. that’s like her job in life. oops.
3. “so let me tell you about myself . i woke up at like 4.30 and then had training and then did this and this and then at 6 i wnet to the gym…” omg megan you are a dumb butt.
Real Girl: shut up. Don’t come to this blog if you’re just going to bash Lincee…if that’s all you can do then you are not welcome here. This blog is about having fun, and gossiping about the show. Lincee: YOU ROCK! Can’t wait for your recap
Oh come now, Colorado Cat. Real Girl is trying to teach us a very valuable lesson here. We must look past ABC’s deceptive edits and not believe whatever the producers want us to believe. Such as….Stephanie only talks about her dead husband, Nikki judges everyone, and Megan is a dumb butt.
Come on, now, people. These things are so OBVIOUS and not the producers’ attempt to entertain us. Sheesh.
Shameless, hope the readers catch the sarcastic retort to real girl
I just want to add I visited Jesse’s website and it is SO BAD. It’s obviously a work in progress right now, but I’m not even talking about the messed up text going too far to the right. Just the entire design and concept is bad, bad, bad. When he had a joint Deanna site, it was almost as bad but this is worse. Can’t people, especially those with high traffic sites, hire people who know what they’re doing??? It drives me crazy.
Also, just briefly glancing at his website makes me feel again that his entire “relationship” with DD was a publicity stunt. On both sides.
did anyone think that Nikki’s boobs looked like plastic balls in the dress last night- seriously how does one get such perfect round orbs to be so perky? And it was so funny when Erica called J out for looking at her boob. That was priceless! Can’t wait for the recap today!
Can’t wait for today’s recap… but while we wait…
Re. 131. Totally, per both boob comments.
PS. How awkward was the beginning of Nikki and J’s kiss??
There’s no way in hell that Megan is 25 – unless she’s lived one hell of a hard life.
there is no way in hell that Jason was ACTUALLY looking at Erica’s boobs.. granted she hoped he would have notied them considering they were on a pruple platter with a side of white bra… BUT still.. when he’s got Nikki’s to look forward to every rose serimony and Megans are climbing the charts… not sure he’s take a look at “down and dirty” homegirls!
Here is a question for the books… why would anyone run off in a nother strange dress i might add and throw up THEN come BACK to offer lips to the cheek? Shannon stood there ,every shot from camera man two looking discustingly green…was Jason giving her a rose to get away from Erica or what? i am still suprised he picked Megan… he needed to have a steamy attack kiss from her before giving her the boot.
Okay, okay, OKAY! It’s officially on my DVR to do list. I couldn’t resist any longer. (And this is completely due to your blog, Lincee. Love it!) Have a great weekend!
Oh dear. And the bachelorettes will be singing and acting. Cringe. Giggle.
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