We all know that Jason is Melba toast. And that’s okay, because when you talk about people being Melba toast, other people that read your website send you boxes of Melba toast because they are PR reps for Old London…the premiere Melba Toast makers of the world.
Thank you Anne for your sweet gift! Very PR-y of you and I’m proud that I can help your Old London cause. MELBA TOAST IS AWESOME! (Pay no attention to the double stuffed Oreos you see in the picture.)
And let the record show that I also think Jason reminds me of Pringles, Dr Pepper, anything gummy and Chick-fil-A.
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. You probably aren’t even reading this because the simple disclaimer has been a part of my recap since the days I emailed this puppy to just a few of my closer friends. HA! Fooled you. You’ve skipped this amusing mockery and will not know what in the world your friends are talking about when they say, “Did you like the new disclaimer Lincee did?” However, if you or someone on your Facebook page happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying leftover Christmas candy or have a Jazzercise instructor that looks exactly like one of the Bachelorettes on the show…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.
We begin the crazy journey at the Barbie mansion, where all the girls are wrapped up in their cutie pajamas, scarves and Snuggies, just waiting on pins and needles to hear what Our Host Chris Harrison has to say.
The girls yell, “GOOD MORNING” in unison and Harrison smiles because he secretly does this to tick me off. Well done my friend. You and your fancy blog…
Our Host explains to the girls that there will be two one-on-one dates and one group date. He also reminds the gaggle that some will not go on ANY dates. He puts the date card on the table and exits dramatically.
I’d like to pause for a moment and comment on the date cards.
What’s up ABC intern? The date boxes used to be one of my favorite parts of the show! I would watch in awe as the girls pulled out shovels, buckets, Ziploc baggies of sand and little seashells…just wondering where their adventure would take them. Was this part of a budget cut? You’ve resorted to Harrison hand delivering cards that are not left on Cost Plus World Market end tables held securely by poker chips? Can’t you run to the dollar bin at Target and come up with something?
In conclusion—BRING BACK THE DATE BOXES ABC!
One-On-One Date One
Stephanie
Come Play With Me
It is revealed that Stephanie gets the first one-on-one date. “Finally!” she exclaims. “Finally, finally, finally.” She struts off in her favorite pair of hot pink fleece pajamas while Megan begins pouting on the couch. She did NOT sign up to hang out with a bunch of girls.
Stephanie tries to call her little girl in the limo on the way to her date. It’s Sophia’s fourth birthday and she is sad to miss it. But feels this is an opportunity for Mom to get lucky.
Jason greets her as she steps out of the limo. Steph hugs him for a smidge too long and they take a walk on the beach. He leads her over to a plate of oysters and tells her to chug them like tequila. A Magic 8 Ball Blimp shows up and says, “Hi Melissa!” Embarrassed that the ABC Psychotherapist forgot to change the name from the previous date, Stephanie is gracious and decides to break the ice by doing a cartwheel in the sand.
Jason takes her by the shoulders and talks about how much they have in common. You know…because they are both single parents. Stephanie feels the same way and lets Jason know that this is a huge opportunity for Sophia. Because Jason could be the Daddy in her daughter’s life. Jason has a deer in the headlights look as he realizes he may not be ready for his own insta-family. He does his best acting and points behind her saying, “What is that?”
Fully expecting to see a regurgitated Robin Thicke from Hot Dog Jillian’s date, Stephanie is elated to find a little girl running towards her with reckless abandon. In an adorable apple outfit.
I counted about a thousand I LOVE YOU SO MUCH’s as Sophia ramrod’s her Mom into the sand. Jason is crying. Lincee is tearing up. Stephanie is splashing around in the water and twirling her daughter. Jason and Steph jump waves with Sophia. Sophia gets wet. Sophia changes into fairy princess outfit decked out in pink tulle from head to toe. The happy fake family take a fake family vacation to Legoland. Jason follows Steph and Soph around carrying her little pink shoes and rhinestone tiara. She is the birthday girl after all. They ride a roller coaster. Sophia plays in a water park (third outfit if you are still counting) while Jason and Stephanie talk about how cute kids are.
Jason: “She is just adorable.”
Steph: “I think she is precious. I wish Ty could be here too.”
Jason: “I really don’t want him getting attached to anyone I’m not going to marry, but thanks for the kind words. Now let’s go get your daughter the biggest, pinkest cake we can find so she can remember this day forever. And you can cut the pictures out of me when you have fully recovered from when I let you go two weeks from now. Cause honey…I ain’t feeling a thing other than sorry for you.”
Steph: “Close your eyes…”
Jason: “Okay. Wait…what?”
Sophia: “MOMMY!”
Steph: “Coming my darling.”
Stephanie tells the camera that holding hands with Jason was magical. She thinks Jason is a lot like her deceased husband and that the pair of them would be a perfect compliment to each other. She knows that she can take care of him when he walks through the door after work.
Jason walks over to the Legoland garden and picks a Legoland rose that the intern whipped up just seconds before. (THERE’S THE INTERN WE KNOW AND LOVE!) He says that he had a wonderful time and hands it over to Stephanie. Sophia, in her fourth ensemble of the day, watches as her pseudo Daddy for the day lights her birthday candles and Mom kisses him on the arm. She closes her eyes and blows out the candles.
Stephanie tells the camera that she also made a wish on Sophia’s birthday candles. She knows that four year ago her life changed, but today is a new beginning and she is falling fast. Jason asks if he can cut the date short because he needs to go shave his chest hair.
Group Date
Shannon, Naomi, Melissa, Kari, Jillian, Nikki, Erica, Megan
Let’s Get Busted For A Good Cause
(Only those of you who have big boobs though)
Jason is super stoked about this sexy date. He can’t believe that he’s going to have the opportunity to feel up eight different women and they won’t even care. Because it’s all for breast cancer awareness.
Anything for the cause, am I right? And where’s that ABC intern? Seriously? Boob molds? You should be ashamed of yourself. And get a raise. That’s fine TV my friend.
Jason leads the girls into a room full of busts. Quite literally, there are boobs everywhere you look. The girls seem super excited about the boobs. They are even more excited about the boobs when Jason tells them that they will be doing an art project to benefit the “Keep a Breast” campaign.
Jason: “We will be casting ourselves. You know…a sculpture of us from the neck to waist. All you have to do is take some baby oil and rub yourself down. I can’t help if you need me to. But if not, it doesn’t matter, because I get my own little peep show right here from this side of the colored panels. I can’t believe I’m standing here this long slathering baby oil on my righteous chest and no one is coming to do it for me. It’s like you’ve never kissed anyone besides your first high school boyfriend or something.”
Melissa gets nervous that her secret is out and bounds forward to help slather. She’s prematurely jock blocked by Erica who grabs the bottle and starts the lubrication process. Stalker Shannon is unable to move because Jason is within five feet of her and goes into anaphylactic shock…her mouth gaping wide open.
Jason settles down with a rum and Coke on the opposite side of the colored panels—ready for the music to begin. Shadows of boobs are everywhere. There’s even a nip or two. That’s right…I said NIP. Jason goes down the line, trying to guess which girls belong to which silhouettes when the ABC intern approaches him with a fresh t-shirt and vest. Jason waves him off. This is no time to be modest. He will go shirtless with his women.
Just when he can’t stand it anymore, he asks permission to cross the colored panel divide into the promised boob land. The girls agree.
Jason: “Hey Melissa. What are those scars on your boobs?”
Melissa: “I’ll explain later.”
Jason: “Hey Megan. I knew you would have the biggest boob mold.”
Megan: “I’d stand in the street naked and do this.”
Jason: “Hey Kari. I know your boobs aren’t big, but are you having a good time?”
Kari: “I’m doing this for my step-sister. I’m going to paint my boobs pink.”
Stalker Shannon: “JASON! JASON! YOU PASSED ME UP! COME BACK!”
Jason: “Oh right. Hey Shannon.”
Stalker Shannon: “YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME! Please, Jason, PLEASE! Put one of those paper-mâché things on me. Right here. Across my boobs. It’s for a good cause. OH PLEASE JASON! It feels so good to have you rub on my body.”
After the boob molds dry, the girls have the opportunity to paint their artwork. Naomi tries to make her boobs even by using creative shadowing, but it doesn’t work. Nikki hones her OCD skills to create an exact replica of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” across her boobs. Kari wraps a pink breast cancer awareness ribbon around her left boob. Melissa puts two Dallas Cowboy navy and silver stars in strategic places on her boobs. And Megan asks no one in particular how to draw a fetus because they feed off of boobs.
A quick check on the ABC website confirms that it does say Megan has a child. I’m just saying.
Jason decides that he still needs time alone with some of the ladies and their boobs. He also wants to see who can be wild and crazy like him while revealing something interesting in the process. No intern…he does NOT want to put a shirt on. Stop bugging him!
Jason: “Your boobs looked good today.”
Melissa: “Thanks! I’m very proud of my boobs. Do you know why? Because they are the product of a breast reduction and I love them!”
Jason: “Wow.”
Melissa: “Yeppers. I was a 36FF in high school. It was miserable. They went all the way down to my knees. But now you know my secret. I’m literally perky all the way around! GO COWBOYS!”
Jason to the camera: “I never saw that coming.”
Meanwhile, Stalker Shannon is upset she has not had time to be alone with Jason. All these other pesky girls constantly around bum her out. She sulks in a corner listening to the “Jason Chill” playlist on her iPod and thinks about how he felt her up earlier in the day.
Jason, on the other hand, is learning a lot about Megan. Fortunately, she keeps the big fetus question to herself as they talk about boobs.
Jason: “Your boobs were rockin’ today, but I noticed you were quiet.”
Megan (very defensive): “I was concentrating. What’s wrong with that?”
Jason: “Nothing. It’s just that you are so big busted. I figure you would have a lot to contribute. Oh…and you’re a Mom too.”
Megan: “I was thinking of other people Jason. Back off. Do you know what a huge role model I am to dozens of young girls? And I don’t get paid a lot to be in their life. It’s been a week and not one person has thanked me or praised me. It’s literally enough to drive me crazy. But today I felt I had worth. I want someone to get a lot of money from my boobs.”
Jason: “If it was allowed and not violated my contract…I’d pay.”
Megan: “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has said to be besides the cameraman who paid me $100 flash him at the rose ceremony the other night. Thank you Jason.”
Our Bachelor decides to throw Erica a bone and attempt to have a conversation. It doesn’t go well. Probably because he was distracted by the red scrunchy holding up a very messy ponytail.
Ducking behind a pole to avoid Stalker Shannon, Jason finds Nikki practicing her “surprised face” in the art museum lobby mirror for when she is announced Miss Congeniality of season 12.
Jason: “Your boobs were exquisite today. So perfect and precise.”
Nikki: “Thank you Jason. I am a total control freak.”
Silence.
Jason: “Really? What’s that about?”
Nikki: “I’m a perfectionist!”
[Crickets chirping]
Poor Nikki. Poor little beauty queen. She choked. She pulled out a card from the hat and didn’t know the answer. And there was no way to fit in something about wanting world peace. She admits that she is trying too hard and blames her coach for pushing her too hard. And now she’s crying. Can we get some makeup over here? MAKEUP!
Cut to the remaining girls at the mansion when the lame date card arrives. Lauren is PRETTY sure that either she, Molly or Natalie will get a rose. You think? Natalie and her spray tan will be heading out for a night on the town.
Back at the boob museum, Shannon and Melissa are hanging out in a ping pong chair. Shannon is in a funk and doesn’t know why she hasn’t had a chance to be alone with the Bachelor. How is it that Jillian always finds a way to get him in a bed with furry blankets?
Jillian: “Let’s see who can jump the highest. Ready? 1-2-3!”
Jason: “Wow. That was fun. I like you even though you don’t have huge boobs.”
Jillian: “Thanks J. I’m comfortable in my own skin and love my life. I think you and I are abowt the same when it comes to marriage. I can find someone I love easy. It’s finding someone I can’t live withowt that’s the tough part.”
Jason: “You are so wise. And you talk funny too! Ty will totally dig your chili.”
Jason leads the girls back to the Hall of Boobs to see their hard work. They all meander around the boobs and Shannon is beside herself. She can’t stand not to touch him. She stares, musters up the courage and says, “HI” as she grabs him in a death grip. Megan says she needs to GET a grip. Which Shannon does. A grip of Jason’s hair. To complete her collection of Jason memorabilia which includes an old Kleenex, fajita tortilla and soggy leftover paper-mâché strip that covered his left nipple region. She doesn’t even notice that Jason gives the date rose to Hot Dog Jillian.
“Boob” word count: 41
That has to be some sort of record.
One-On-One Date Two
Natalie
Viva Las Vegas
Jason thinks that Natalie is extremely attracted. She’s hot and fun. But he needs to find out who she is on the inside. Because on the outside, she is fine. And that is important. Hotness is key. But there must be a connection other than the hotness. Because it’s there. Bangin’ body!
Natalie takes forever and a day to get ready. She has to let herself dry before sitting down. Stephanie packs her bags while Lauren uses a hair dryer on her legs to help the spray tan sink in faster. Wearing the perfect tiny black dress, she Chi’s her extensions one last time before slinking down to meet our Bachelor.
Jason pulls his tongue back in his mouth, wipes the drool and tells her she looks amazing. But he thinks she’s missing something. Since she is all into fashion, he decides to let her borrow a million dollar necklace and bracelet.
Oh, yo, oh, yo, catch this.
Her spray tan glows with the diamonds as Jason makes her spin around for the crowd. He walks her to the waiting limo, liquors her up with a champagne toast and then makes her close her eyes for some reason. She holds on to his crotch for support. I’m assuming vertigo.
When she opens her eyes, she sees a private jet waiting to take them to Las Vegas. I half-expected him to say they were going to San Francisco to see the ballet. (These are broken. Mine are broken. Look! There’s a band!)
She pulls her extensions, drinks more alcohol and nearly pees her pants when they land…only to find a helicopter waiting for them. Because of the motion sickness, she grabs his inner crotchal area again for support and comments on all the beauty she sees below.
Spray Tan Natalie: “Look at all the nature below. The trees. That water. The Hoover Dam. All those casinos down there. It’s amazing. SHUT UP! Look at how my diamonds sparkle in the reflection of the window! AWESOME!”
Jason: “Those aren’t YOUR diamonds. Please remember that.”
After the helicopter ride, Natalie is further excited by the strip. She’s freaking out at all the wedding chapels but has enough sense to keep one hand on Jason’s crotch and the other stroking her extensions.
Spray Tan Natalie: “Am I good company?”
Jason: “Nat…you make me feel like James Bond when I walk around Vegas with you. I love how everyone looks at me and wishes there were with this hot young thing. You are sweet and obviously beautiful. I want to get to know you better and dig beneath your surface.”
Natalie gives him a reassuring wink. Jason flashes his pearly whites. Lincee reminds them what happens to the hot young girls in James Bond movies.
They die. Always. I’m just saying.
Jason: “Is there anything I should know about you?”
Natalie: “I’m cute, sporty and love clothes.”
Jason: “What else?”
Natalie: “I love bears.”
Wow. Two Jim Halpert faces in one recap. Scary.
Jason: “Like…koala bears? Panda bears?”
Natalie: “Sure I like koala and panda bears. But I like other ones too. Polar, Paddington, Kodiak, brown, gummy, Fozzy, Chicago, Winnie, necessities, the one in the big blue house, Smokey and my favorite…the teddy bear. I left my bear in a store once and it was like the end of the world. I remember like it was yesterday. Is that Kim Kardashian? I love her!”
Jason: “You were saying?”
Natalie: “What? Oh I got sidetracked. I don’t know what I was saying.”
Jason: “You were talking about how your philosophy has changed.”
Natalie: “Right. I was ready but now I don’t know. All I know is that I have a deep, deep, deep love for children. Because kid’s clothes are so cute and I would love to dress Ty up in corduroy. Preferably with bears on them. I don’t want to party anymore unless it’s the weekend.”
Later, Jason admits that he’s unsure if he is going to give her the rose. He’s torn. She’s totally hot. But that’s about it. Will his friends and the ABC camera crew ever let him live this down?
Natalie, on the other hand, it pumped that she is going to get a rose. Even though there hasn’t been any kissing, she knows that the super secret celebrity singer will get them in the mood. A private performance by Kate What’s-her-name is sure to do the trick.
Jason knew that she wanted him to kiss her, but he just couldn’t do it. The song ends. Kate What’s-her-name collects her $100 check from ABC and Jason leads Natalie to the couch.
Jason: “Your beauty is amazing. I’m going to hold this rose and not give it to you. I wanted there to be something (as he twirls it) tonight, but if I kept you here it wouldn’t be fair. So I’m going to let you smell it, ask for my diamonds back and send you on your merry way.”
Natalie: “Why?”
Jason: “There are no commonalities between us.”
Natalie: “What do you mean commonalities?”
Jason: “And there we have it. Right there sweetheart. There’s your answer. I shouldn’t have to explain what that means.”
Natalie: “I’m tired of being stereotyped as beautiful. I’m more than that. I like NATURE. Bears to be exact. And the Hoover Dam. I’m just surprised that you would keep girls who are mean in that house.”
Jason perks up.
Jason: “Tell me hot girl. Give me names.”
Natalie: “You totally pulled a DDAHnna and made me think I was getting a rose. I’m not telling you ANYTHING!”
The diamond police come and remove the necklace and bracelet from Natalie’s neck and wrist. She has to pay to clean the orange residue off both pieces but we don’t see that on camera.
Back at the mansion, the girls discuss Natalie’s fate. They all agree that if Jason picks her to stay, he is crazy and only in it for the hotness. Cue mute dude in black walking through the door to pick up Natalie’s belongings. A cheer from giddy Bachelorette’s could be heard within a file mile radius.
In the limo, the ABC psychotherapist tried her hardest to get Natalie to cry at the beginning of her taxi cab confession, but decided that anger better suited her personality. She encouraged her to let it all out with gusto and hand gestures. And if she needed to curse…so be it. That’s what the bleep button and fuzzy blob are for:
“I am going to be an awesome mother. I know that right now. He’s probably intimidated by me. I’m not mad. I just thinks it’s odd. If you don’t feel an attraction to me, who do you think you are?”
Then there was a bunch of bleeping. Classy lady.
Rose Ceremony
Jason is concerned about the girls Natalie eluded to as she was flipping him off from the sun roof of the limo. He decides to do a little investigating and starts with Naomi.
Jason: “Naomi. I need to know the truth. Which girls are causing trouble? Natalie said there are some bad apples in the bunch.”
Naomi: “Did she say my name?”
Jason: “No, no. You are smart and I know I connect with you on so many levels. Can you help me?”
Naomi: “I feel the same connection too Jason! Oh thank you. But I don’t want to talk to you about the girls. I want to talk about my ex-boyfriend. He’s the only one that I’ve given my entire self to. I know you want to know who is for real here, but I’m here to tell you that I’m a sort-of virgin. And I want to kiss you.”
Not being one to pass up a good kissing opportunity with a brunette, Jason makes out with Naomi. Alas, he is unsuccessful in finding out any information from this tartlet in a red mini dress.
Still determined to find answers, Jason tries to have a conversation with Nikki. But it’s hard because her dress not only accentuates two very large boobs through a peep-hole in the front, but the pattern appears to be on fire. Nikki chose this dress to show Jason her fun side! She’s hopeful that something naturally will happen.
Jason talks about how he loves change and ambiguity. Nikki talks about how she is super organized, but sometimes, SOMETIMES, she leaves her toothbrush on the OTHER side of the sink than her mouth wash. Huh? Pretty crazy! Or OCD. Whatever.
Jason admits that organization is not one of his strengths. Nikki leans in and tells him that’s what girls are for.
And then we witness one of the most awkward kisses on national television. I’m convinced. If you’ve had the same boyfriend for 35 years, you should know how to straight up kiss a dude. Why Jason had to grab Nikki’s head and tilt it in a certain direction like they were in seventh grade, we’ll never know. I was hiding behind a pillow. It was bad. Can I get an amen?
Recovering from Kissing 101 with Nikki, Jason decides to ask motor mouth a few questions. Instead, Erica and her messy pony tail ask Jason what it takes to get a rose. Jason assures her not to worry and reminds us that he never got a rose on a group date. Then Erica accuses Jason of looking at her boobs. Jason says that he was just looking at the color of her dress.
On to Molly…Jason’s favorite make out buddy. Molly is starting to get butterflies. She admits that it is hard sharing him with 11 other girls…then quickly changes her answer to 10. She inquires about Natalie’s parting. Was that tough? Jason seizes the opportunity to get some dirt on the other girls but Molly somehow turns it into tonsil hockey.
If you aren’t keeping up, he’s up to three kisses this night!
And then there’s Shannon. Bless her heart Stalker Shannon. She’s so far gone that she’s made herself sick with nerves. She cries like a baby, talks about how there’s no one to confide in and she wants to hurt herself because she’s not making a connection like the other girls. Jason has all razors removed from the bathrooms and continues to listen as Shannon talks about how she wanted to jump through the TV last year when DDAHnna left him brokenhearted on the Home Depot proposal pedestal. She just wants to know him in her pajamas and drink hot tea while they plan their future vacations to Disney World with Ty. Is that too much to ask?
Jason hands Stalker Shannon a paper bag and heads over to Stephanie. He needs a good friend to talk to. Someone his own age who can give him some sound advice on what to do about these crazies.
Forgetting that Stephanie was an actual contestant and not his mentor, Jason is surprised when he starts getting come hither looks. She asks him to close his eyes. He does.
And I can’t type the rest. It was a weird musical chair-ish kissing game on his face that had “thank you” messages between each peck. I fast forwarded because of the embarrassment. And then I got my own paper bag…just in case.
After crying to the ABC psychotherapist about the pending broken heart of Stephanie (she’ll be gone in two weeks I predict) Jason finally runs into someone who is willing to talk.
Jason: “Look…I’ll give you a rose if you just tell me who the mean girls are.”
Lauren: “Erica and Megan are the two drama queens. I’m actually afraid of Megan. I believe she could take me out fully clothed in her lacrosse gear. If you like Megan or Erica, I’m not the girl for you. And neither are any of the other ones in there. We’ve all talked about it behind their back. Natalie was in their same boat. Now where’s my rose?”
Sadly for Lauren, Megan heard everything she revealed to Jason. I’d sleep with one eye open Lauren. Lacrosse balls can be deadly.
Back in the Wall of Shame room sponsored by Pier One, Our Host Chris Harrison talks to Jason about the drama and how he’s about to make a very tough decision.
OHCH: “Natalie said there were some mean girls. Did you find anything out?”
Jason: “Well, I got distracted by boobs and kissing, but Lauren finally told me what was going on. Apparently, Erica and Megan are troublemakers. I feel so lost. I could care less about Erica and her ratty ponytails, but Megan is hot and has big boobs. What am I supposed to do?”
OHCH: “Obviously you are confused. Get your thoughts together as you look on the Wall of Shame. I have an idea. Follow me when you are ready.”
Jason struggles with what is right and what is easy and who has boobs and who has Mommy potential. He mopes into the rose ceremony room befuddled.
OHCH: “Jason is worried that he’s going to send the wrong woman home. There is a lot of drama, which is great for the ratings. Thanks so much for signing the contracts that says you are willing to show shadow nipples on regular TV. But we are here for different reasons tonight. We want you girls to speak candidly and speak from the heart. Do any of you have anything to say?”
Silence.
OHCH: “Come now. There’s free champagne for the first girl who speaks up.”
Erica: “I for one am shocked.” She takes the flute from the ABC intern and high fives him. “I didn’t realize we were fighting.” She downs the drink in one swallow.
Nikki moves forward to OHCH: “We are all adults Chris.” She moves slowly to hear right and pauses. “I know we are going to get through this tough time.” She walks stage left and executes a three point turn. “All I want is house peace.” She flashes her winning smile, waves to Jason (elbow, wrist, elbow, wrist) and returns to her spot in line.
Megan on the other hand…
“People who talk trash about me will see the b!tch come out!”
Lauren: “Blah, blah, blah.”
OHCH: “Now we’re getting somewhere! Who has a problem with Megan?”
Erica: “Do we get another drink if we answer?”
OHCH: “Tequila shots my friend.”
Erica: “I have a big problem with her!”
Laruen: “Blah, blah, blah.”
Megan: “I’m not five years old and I would never tattle! B!tch!”
Shannon: “I’m going to be sick.”
Stalker Shannon walks off to cry and hurl in the bathroom. The stress is too much to stand. Someone get the psychotherapist. And a breath mint.
Jason goes to the toilet to check on her. She opens the door, green-faced, and smiles her toothy grin. Did he bring her pajamas? No. He just wants to offer his sympathy. OH JASON! Here’s a hug from me and my vomit mouth.
Tension continues to mount as the group waits for Shannon to rinse her mouth out and return. Lord please let him call her name first so she can go lay down.
Roses go to:
Molly: She was right. Jason didn’t need a date with her to give her a rose
Lauren: Bribe rose
Melissa: Jason hopes he can see a picture of her old jugs one day
Naomi: No clue why she is still here
Stephanie: Sympathy rose
Jillian: She’s going to go far
Shannon: ABC paid him to keep her
Nikki: Fire dress + boobs = rose
Megan: no clue
And that’s it my friends. All in all, it was a pretty good episode. Still wondering when DDAHnna is going to show up. And can’t wait for next week’s General Hospital open audition!
And thanks to my friend Tad who made me this super cool cheat sheet of rejected Bachelorettes!
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee
I don’t know which was worse… Nikki’s incredibly awkward kiss or her comment, “I’m pretty and smart but I guess that’s just not enough!” boo-hoo.
Lincee. You had me at Snuggie.
Oh my word that was funny.
Do you think after he did not give spray tan the rose in Vegas that they had to travel back together? On the ABC jet? Did she have enough anger to endure the whole trip?
Amen…brilliant yet again.
AMEN!!!!
anaphylactic shock made me laugh, out loud, by myself, in my house. love your blog lincee
Lincee, this was your most amazing recap yet. Tad, Sharon was nixed and therefore heading home jobless and loveless. I am in pain, I’m laughing so hard.
Favorite line: Jason tries to have a conversation with Nikki. But it’s hard because her dress not only accentuates two very large boobs through a peep-hole in the front, but the pattern appears to be on fire. Nikki chose this dress to show Jason her fun side!
and: “Sure I like koala and panda bears. But I like other ones too. Polar, Paddington, Kodiak, brown, gummy, Fozzy, Chicago, Winnie, necessities, the one in the big blue house, Smokey and my favorite…the teddy bear. I left my bear in a store once and it was like the end of the world. I remember like it was yesterday. Is that Kim Kardashian? I love her!”
these are broken. mine are broken. look! there’s the band. I almost died laughing
OMG!!!! I nearly peed my pants laughing at the Vegas date, you nailed it!! You saw everything I saw including the crotch grabbing. I truly think the reflection in the window blinded STN to any sites she might have seen. STN was just guessing what was out the window, she was too busy looking at herself!!!
Love it, Love it, Thanks for the best laugh yet!!!
Hilarious recap – the whole Vegas retelling was awesome. Wonder if SprayTan will watch this episode and realize what an idiot she was. I love bears….omg – how stupid can you be????? Was she trying to show Jason she had something in common with Ty? And she said something in the limo about “you’d have to be God to not be attracted to me” – uh, yeah right.
I think ABC still picks one girl to keep and that girl was clearly Megan – gotta keep that drama going. Lauren better sleep with one eye open for sure!
Excellent as always, Lincee. Also enjoyed your post at the most excellent OHCH’s blog.
Sadly, I missed the bad kiss. Still love Stephanie, she didn’t spackle the makeup on quite so heavy. She seems like a lovely lady, but as has been mentioned, zero chemistry. Single-Parent chemistry perhaps, if there is such a thing. Megan looks younger on the extra footage on Chris’s blog. Shannon, Shannon, Shannon, all I can see when you talk is your teeth. Which are very bright.
seriously. best. post. ever.
laughed so hard at so many things and i didn’t even see the whole show.
you’ve got a gift. a gift!
“A grip of Jason’s hair. To complete her collection ….” HAHAHAHA!
Oh I also love how Megan went off about Shannon being a self-centered b!tch, etc.. If anyone is self-centered, it’s Megan.
A big amen here. Awesome recap.
“Oh, yo, oh, yo, catch this.”
AWESOME
You crack me up!
TMI when Natalie said she had “explored herself.” Her dialogue reminds me of the Steve Martin quote “Some people have a way with words, and some, well, don’t have way.”
OMG – Lincee you need to add a spew alert to your disclaimer! Too hilarious!!!! AMEN sister! Can’t wait for next week! I’m off to go wipe my monitor off….
That was simply awesome! Love the interjections of the Jim Halpert face!
So another thing I was pondering…Stephanie always tells her little girl that “daddy to a flight to heaven.” wouldn’t that scare the heck out of you and make you never want to go on an airplane if you were a child? I’m just saying.
Tad – “Sponsored by Pier 1″. Noticed.
How much of a bonus do you think Jason gets for keeping Shannon. . .ca-reepy! I think I detected more than once the “oh crap” look wash over Jason’s face, as in “oh crap what did I get myself into and is it really worth the 30 minutes of fame I will have achieved?”
Ok, take a deep breath, focus. but this is funny that all I can do is laugh and pick myself up off the floor!
My favorite part of Spray Tan Natalie’s date was when Jason told the camera that “Being affectionate with Natalie is really easy.”
My boyfriend and I agreed that probably anything with Natalie is easy.
Awesome episode and awesomer post!
Oh man this episode was so great. And your recap? Made it better. I still stand by Jillian – if he doesn’t pick her, he’s in for so much more drama than necessary! Or, if he doesn’t pick her, I’d love her to be the next bachelorette, as someone mentioned on the other post.
Do NOT like Lauren OR Megan. Megan isn’t too bad, I guess, but Lauren actually spilled the gossip. Can’t say I wouldn’t if I were in the same position, but geeze. I actually was impressed with the girls who skirted around the topic when he asked.
I kind of like Molly, and Melissa is growing on me. Still not sold that Melissa is mature enough for Jason. Naomi seems kinda cool, too. Nikki doesn’t bother me as much as others, but MAN! Put those things away sometime, woman! They’re not the only thing you have going for you!
Why does Shannon always answer “yes” before he even asks if she’ll accept the rose? I am worried for that girl – the last episode got her on a severe downslope.
Goodbye Natalie, Erica and Kari. Kari seemed like she may have made it farther if she’d been a bit more aggressive, but Natalie and Erica definitely weren’t matches for Jason, so I wasn’t sad to see them go.
#21 – Lindsay – I’m guessing like you that almost anything is easy with Natalie is easy – except perhaps an intelligent conversation! Wow – did I just say that? Ok… time for my saucer of milk now …meow!
Fantastic blog! You are absolutely hilarious and I found your blog fairly recently and have read all your re-caps to get caught up. This seems like your funniest to date. I haven’t been having the most fantastic day, however, you brought my spirits up because I was laughing so hard. Too many parts to name. Keep the laughs coming. You are truly talented. I laughed the most at your Bachelor blog today out of a couple of others out there. That’s how good it was. Thank you!
As always, a truly dead-on too-funny recap! Am I the only one who noticed the nifty Wall of Shame has 10 girls going on instead of 9? I believe Sharon shouldn’t be there! Get the web-man right on it!
ROTF. That was brilliant! I was crying I was laughing so hard about the rose ceremony and Nikki’s 3 pt. turn. LOL.
You rock!
Stephanie – Spring, Tx
OK, I don’t love Megan, but I don’t hate her so much either like the rest of y’all. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit of a potty mouth myself….and I always get embarrassed after dropping a few choice words when expressing myself. I’m positive that Megan will be mortified when she sees her footage.
Here’s my theory on Megan – I do think on the first episode that she was ‘voted off’ by the girls because she was initially considered a threat based on what the girls thought Jason was looking for…attractive brunette, mom, etc. I think she was completely shocked that she got that vote and has been extremely uncomfortable and insecure since….her being reserved in group dates and trying to prove herself to Jason by saying that people usually praise her seems to show that to me. Since that first night it seems that she is always defending herself. I think she’s subconsciously getting growing more insane in the house because she now has these trust issues because of the vote and that is coming across as her hair get increasingly frizzy and unkempt at the rose ceremonies (what was UP with that terrible ‘do?)!
She did get into that altercation with Erica in an earlier episode, but did you notice that Megan brought up Erica’s double-talk one-on-one? Erica was the one that took it out to the other room to bring the other bachelorettes into the drama. Just sayin’…
I will not argue that Meg is definitely coming across as low-budge, but I don’t think she’s too horrible. Her analysis of nutjob Shannon at the end of last night’s episode was dead on – we were all thinking the same thing. That being said, I don’t think she has a chance in hell to be the F1 because ABC would not portray the final person this way. Just learn to choose your words, Megan!!!
Any other Megan non-haters out there?
I covered my eyes the second, third, and fourth times my best friend made me rewind the awkward kiss between Jason and Nikki – the first thing that came to mind was wondering if Lincee was hiding behind a pillow…the awkwardness is getting to be too much!
Love the recap! You are truly gifted.
Nikki’s awkward kiss was by far the most painful thing I’ve ever seen…what was going on there?
And can we get a count of the number of times Jason mentioned someone’s “qualities?” I mean, seriously, he needs to find some new words…
LORAC,
I agree completely. Megan is not my favorite, but she seems to have gotten off to an unlucky start. I feel bad for her. She probably would seem like a COMPLETELY different person if she had gotten off to a good start.
I am soooooo very tired of seeing Nikki’s chest. EVERY single week, she has her chest on display. It really is gross. It is cheap looking. Another thing, she never has anything positive to say. All she does is talk about why the other girls are so wrong for Jason. Maybe she should focus on why she is “right” for him- though I don’t really think she is.
I love the new “cheat sheet”. Ingenious.
Love this one Lincee! Did you also notice that when Sophia got in the car to drive away, that Jason had a real rose behind his back? “Um, sorry, but you’ll have to return that lego rose before we leave the premisis. It’s property of Legoland… I guess you can have this lame real one instead.”
The hits just keep comin’, and I love how you call ‘em! Thanks!
I just recently was made aware of this hilarious blog. Lincee…kudos. You have a way with words. Love, love, love the drama and entertainment with this show. When Spray Tan Natalie gave her best effort at showing her ‘depth’, I had to text my friend, “Is she SERIOUSLY talking about bears?” Wow… And, has anyone else noticed that (along with revealing her boobs of course), all of Stalker Shannon’s dresses appear to be made of the same stretchy, somewhat-shiny, material? Maybe you didn’t notice because you were too busy trying to NOT look at the horrible color combinations of the dresses themselves…
Can’t wait for next week’s drama. Not sure if anything can top STN’s bear talk, and Shannon puking for the world to hear and then hugging jason with that dragon breath. Yikes!
I am truly frightened that Stalker Shannon will make it through even the next round. I remember a preview after the first episode of Shannon crying hysterically when DeYawna came back on the show (though that could be clever editing), and the previews after this last show do not show DeYawna coming back next time! Dang it Shannon – get outta here!!!
I hesitate to pick Shannon apart – since she is certifiably insane – but it’s a bit ironic that she got sooooo sick with all the catty chatter at the rose ceremony, since she didn’t have any trouble making fun and mimicking her fellow bachelorettes in the outtakes at the end of the show!!!! Hypocrite or schizo?
LORAC #27 – I’m with you. I kept telling my friends I couldn’t figure out why everyone hated Megan so much. She’s had to be on the defensive with a bunch of felines from Day 1. I can’t say as I blame her. I’d probably feel the same way in her shoes. I also don’t think she’ll make it to the end…but there are several others that need to go before she does…Boobs Nikki, Tattletale Lauren, Stalker Shannon, and just-plain-weird-Naomi to start with!!
As usual….well done Lincee! I laughed so hard reading this blog entry that my 16 month old son was laughing with me!!!! What would us Bachelor fans do without you????
I forgot one thing…the awkward kiss that I couldn’t stop rewinding and watching over and over again. Where was she aiming?? Was she going for the ABC Intern possibly?? The camera man? She was no where in the vicinity of Jason’s face or any body part for that matter.
Wow! Two Jim Halpert faces…and there could have been more. Craziest episode and funniest blog. Thanks girl!
Has anyone seen the Doll Bachelor videos in Chris Harrison’s blog. Watch the video with Lauren and Megan and the Doll Bachelor videos will come on after them. They are hysterical – especially #1 & #2.
What a great day. First, the right man is sworn in as Prez #44. Then the funniest recap ever.
Thanks Lincee!
Lincee! I was CRYING bc I was laughing so hard at this recap. My husband thought I was crazy. The bears made me laugh – the awkward kiss – shannon the stalker is killing me – and thanks for the shout out to Pretty Woman!!!! It’s the only movie I know how to play the ‘quote’ game!
Thanks for the laughs -
Can someone please tell me what “Boobzilla” aka Nikki is doing with those melons? She’s all holier than thou – I’ll be the perfect mother and wife – but in the meantime let me put my jugs right in your face.
I’m just sayin………
Lincee; Hilarious!!! And LOVED the throw back to Pretty Woman!!! I was laughing out loud at this recap! Amen, sista!!! Great work, as always!!!
Amen to the horrendous t.v. kiss, and Amen to a fantastic recap. During the whole episode I kept thinking “Lincee is going to be brilliant with this one!” Great work!
The diamond necklace date is the kiss of death.
Shannon’s dress looked like a swim suit with a towel over it. I missed part of the show, and it took me a while to figure out she was wearing an evening dress. It totally looked like a tang top and a curtain. I thought that she had just jumped out of the pool.
Okay….does anyone else notice some major celeb look-a-likes? I totally think Nikki looks like Sandra Bullock, and Melissa could be a ringer for Mandy Moore!! Anyone see that? Or is it just me?!
Did you guys catch from OCHC’s blog that Jason tried to give Spray Tan Natalie a real diamond necklace after they made her take the million dollar necklace off but she wouldn’t take it?
I was with you guys about Megan until last night’s show…I can see her insecurity and defensiveness but I I think she truly unveiled herself last night – the claws came out and she went down in my estimation.
They see the opera in Pretty Woman, not the ballet.
And can someone PLEASE tell Stephanie to draw her eyebrows on where eyebrows go not the clown face she draws now???
A. I just found you and your bachelor recaps.
B. I think I’m in love with you.
C. I laughed my way through that entire post. You took all 4,875 word right out of my mouth!!!
Another great post like always! I was laughing out loud. So one girl was talking about all the look alikes – I totally agree that Melissa looks like Mandy Moore! That is what I have been calling her since day 1! And Nikki looked exactly like Sandra Bullock last night – it is the first time I thought it but she really did. Also if you read Chris Harrison’s blog on EW, watch the video at the bottom. It is a confrontation between Lauren and Megan. In that scene Megan looks exactly like Shannon Doherty! It is crazy. Lincee, you are the master and I love your blog. Keep them coming – I watch The Bachelor with a big group of girls and they all read your blog now too! Hope to see you at the Women Tell All – ha ha
I swear to God Shannon has got to be a plant…she simply cannot be for real.
I started laughing at the Oreo/chick-fil-a promos and didn’t stop.
Awesome recap Lincee! Did anyone notice that after she made the comment how she does not spend her time with Jason talking about the other girls, that the camara cut to Jason and it looked like he smiled? I got the impression that he liked her response and how she stood up for herself, and that’s why he gave her the rose. Why he kept Lauren, I don’t know.
OOPS, i was talking about Megan above there. Sometimes I think
faster than I can type!
YOU GUYS. WHAT ABOUT THE “DEEP” COMMENT BY MEGHAN TO THE EFFECT OF “EMBRYOS WILL DIE WITHOUT BOOB MILK”??? How embarrassing. Best recap of all time, Lincee!
I once had a life that included going to bed at a decent hour.
Now it’s filled with fraggle scarves, visions of boobs that need reducing (I say that lightly, because, well, I had a…never mind…I can’t share that with the rest of the free world on this blog)…
…my mind is all fuzzy. I’m not sure what’s made by nature (or some might say, by GOD…) or what’s manmade. I’m confused about fetuses breastfeeding and why women wear sideburns.
And most of all, when I hear the word bear, I cannot contain my laughter.
Is this the right support group?
Lincee you are a genius!!! I personally think last night was the best Bach episode ever and Nikki and Natalie stole the show. Bears?? Even my 15 year old laughed out loud about the bears comment. What’s even funnier is that Natalie was so completely self absorbed that she didn’t even notice that she made herself look like a complete fool. And Nikki………….priceless. I loved the botched kiss especially because they had the sound effects (you know the one they play when someone has made a complete ass of themselves) to match the _iss (kiss without the K, since she missed). I am certain I TIVO-wound it back at least 5 times.
Freaking Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a side note……….who is going to buy the casted boobs (also asked by my boss)?? I mean what do you say when you have friends over for dinner and you have a set of knockers (with a fetus drawn close to the nipple) in the middle of the table?? “Oh, my neighbor’s wife got creative and gave us all homemade gifts for Christmas???? I just need to know……………………………
Oh dear Lincee…. you never cease to amaze me. You also had me at Snuggie. Total greatness. And LOVED the Pretty Woman references too… actually, loved every minute of it! Thanks for being the best thing about my Tuesday!!
My hubby now watches with me, and we were both having to hide behind pillows several times… makes for a GREAT show and a great recap. Thanks for coming through once again!!! And seriously, who buys boob busts?!?!?!
Spot on, my friend! Spot on. And bringing out the Pretty Woman references… classic. Fabulous recap.
You are too funny. I absolutely love reading the blog each week- actually, I think it’s what keeps me watching this show!
The new chart is awesome—may have overlooked Sharon; pretty sure she’s GONE. -)
Did anyone count the number of swings that Jason and Stephanie did with Sophia? a.k.a. DDah and Jason with Ty style? One more and I thought Sophia was going to plead for mercy to not have her arms ripped out of the sockets! I think Melissa is super cute, but her tank top n shorts at the rose ceremony were a little too casual (were those actually shorts?) Megan seems like a two-faced backstabber with Shannon…being all nice to her face and acting all concerned when she came back from hurling, but then screaming obscenities about her to the camera.
Jenbabe -I was thinkin Sanra Bullock about Nikki as well. Melissa is reminding me of a brunette Jessica Simpson, but I think it is her accent more than the looks.
Mo – haha!!: “I mean what do you say when you have friends over for dinner and you have a set of knockers (with a fetus drawn close to the nipple) in the middle of the table”
I see no chemistry with any of the ladies – maybe with Jillian – she seems to be the most normal. But, if DeANna shows up – they would all be history for Dee’s 15 minutes of shame.
This bunch is either weird, a bit psycho, needy,clingy — DeAnna is only psycho – she can act normal though for the cameras.
And, I’ve never seen so much cleavage in a series – as if that’s a necessity to apply.
Then Steph’s over-the-top reaction when seeing her daughter – a Jason reenactment with Ty on the grass in the playground. Too much. I just hope she gets a grip on her make-believe plans for their “happy ever after.”
Well, for the next episode — DeANna – please show up soon to stir up the pot!!
Oh Lincee…. thank you for the laughs. You had me rolling yet again! Bravo for your perfect insert of the Pretty Woman quote.
I’ve got to say this season has me stumped… I agree that Jillian is probably the best choice, which means she won’t be the one. I actually like Megan. I think she got handed a rough start with the whole voting off thing. How would you handle that?? I think Melissa is fine… Molly is slightly annoying, but they get along well. Stephanie is the sweetest woman ever, and they’ll make great friends. Nikki is a bit out of her element, but again, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with her. For the most part all of the women are just *fine*. In a melba toast kind of way. The only one I really worry about it Shannon…. and we all know ABC is begging him to keep her around for the crazy moments she creates.
I’m getting excited for the return of Deanna…. need some spicy stuff to happen! The she said, she said stuff is getting old.
Am I elderly? Was there not one sane woman who refused to bear her boobs on TV? I don’t care if Jason was Andrew Firestone (cutie-pie-est bachelor ever), I would not succumb. Is nudity the new clothed? And then paint your bust for charity? Who on God’s green earth is going to pay for a stupid bachelor boob set? They spent more on the shadowy panels and plaster than they’re going to make. Just plain stupid.
And I agree that OHCH is egging us on. Enough with the passive aggression, Chris. “Does any girl here have anything to say to Jason?” We need to get you a pointy black hat.
Cinderella date isnt always the kiss of death…Didn’t Andy take Tessa on the Cinderella date?
#51 Colorado Cat – Never thought of the plant angle. Nobody could really be that goofy?
I take that back. I was in a sorority. It’s just the law of large numbers. You get a large amount of women in a room, at least one is going to be a nutjob.
LORAC #27 – I was with you up until this episode. I can forgive a potty mouth because I myself used to have one. And the way she handled Erica by confronting her one-on-one was the right way to go. I was glad she called her out. However – it was this episode that really turned me off to her. From her inane comments about fetuses feeding off boobs and how if everyone is going to get breast cancer, then no one will be able to breast feed; to waxing self-indulgent about how not having anyone thank God for her that week was a terrible trial; I was done.
That last comment was very revealing about her character. If she needs constant affirmation about what an amazing person she is, then she lacks two qualities I find most appealing and admirable: humility, and self-confidence. So she’s a role model to girls, great! But most volunteers (and I think she gets paid to be a coach, right?) don’t get that much thanks. And if they do, they don’t (or shouldn’t) throw themselves a ticker-tape parade about it and complain when no compliments or thanks comes their way. Giving yourself a pat on the back is terrific – going on about how you can’t live without constant affirmation is something else.
one of your best posts to-date lincee. great job.
stephanie – bless her heart.
and the editing was brilliant before the rose ceremony and all his kisses. i barely had time to refill my wine glass and he was kissing someone again. lol
Andy did take Tessa on the Cinderella date. Those of us who loved Tessa but had mixed feelings about the Officer can argue about whether or not it was the “kiss of death” in the larger sense. I have to say that my opinion of Jason went up when he actually responded to Natalie with a straight face: “What kind of bears? Koala? Panda?” He would have endeared himself to me totally if he had added to that question “teddy?” but whatever. He also moved up a few notches when he gave her the boot.
Nikki looks kinda like Sandra Bullock, except I agree with whoever it was who has said she looks more like…Michael Jackson. For sure.
Assuming that Jason is at all sane, I think we can nail down the final 3 right now, because out of the nine, 6 are simply unacceptable. I’m still hanging with Melissa and Jillian for the final 2 and hoping for the latter but expecting the former. We’ll see what unfolds.
Perfect recap Lincee!!! I hope you get a box full of Oreos as well – it’s the least you deserve.
#46 – on the celeb look-a-likes – you’re dead on about Melissa/Mandy Moore. And don’t forget Naomi looking like Eva Mendes. Does anyone remember the show Designing Women? I think Megan looks like one of the women on that show – the oldest one, can’t remember her name.
#67 – totally agree with you. Talking about fetuses and how she can’t go one more day without people thanking God for her – what a nut job.
Dixie Carter is who you are thinking about. She also looks like Madeline from ‘North and South’. I think her name was Leslie Ann Downs???
65 CU – Nope, Tessa was a 2 on 1 date on the ship and he gave to Tessa and sent the other girl home.
Love the cheat sheet! Brilliant!
I really didn’t think I would get into this season, with the melba toast and all, but the craziness of the girls and their drama has sucked me in! And of course, as always, this blog is the best thing about the show.
Maybe I missed something, but where is OHCH’s blog?
72, Tessa also went on the cinderella date
I know I’m a dork, but I got so excited when I saw the previews on the General Hospital set. I’ve been watching that soap since high school!
#67 — and let’s not forget when she went off about Shannon and how she needed to “get a grip” and blah blah blah. Yeah, Shannon is one feather away from the cookoo’s nest, but still! Very tacky to talk trash about her like that. If you don’t want to come across as the mean girl, drama queen, then quit talking trash about peeps.
I’m not sure since I only watched the awkward kiss once (how can you people handle watching it multiple times??) but I THINK Nikki was going in for a goodbye cheek kiss and Jason ended up grabbing her and giving her a detour to his lips. Probably so he wouldn’t have to talk to her anymore. But seriously, folks, I felt kind of bad for Nikki. Isn’t she the one who has only kissed one guy in like 11 years and takes kissing soooo seriously? This must have been very traumatic for her.
I agree with #64. Who in their right mind is going to buy a plaster boob bust, unless it’s a celebrity? I thought the whole thing was exploitive and not as sexy as it was supposed to be. Drawing a fetus on it? Ouch, Megan. I also agree that I didn’t care for Chris Harrison provoking the cat fight at the end. Let that stuff come out naturally or not at all. Here’s my rundown: 1) Jillian (the Canadian/hot dog girl). In the lead so far? Could be Shania Twain’s kid sister. 2) Lauren. Prettiest girl left in the field. Reminds me of Jen Schefft. Don’t blame her for dishing on Megan. Hey, Jason asked her a question, she responded honestly. Did I mention she’s VERY pretty? That’s important in this game, folks. 3) Shannon. Remember the Seinfeld episode about the girl who looked alternatively pretty or ugly depending on the light? That’s Shannon. Sometimes she looks very scary. Of course, most of the time she ACTS scary. Is she the first bachelorette ever to vomit o nthe show? Nerves? Yeah, plus five cocktails. And yet she survived the last rose ceremony. What does that tell you about the two he cut? 4) Stephanie. Mature, graceful, thin. Unfortunately, you can tell the chemistry is not there for Jason. If it was he would have kissed her by the pool instead of giving her a hug. Too old for him? As a man, the clothes-horse thing is a turn-off, too. It’s going to sting when he cuts her but after what she’s been through, she can handle it. 5) Nikki. Did someone say she looks like Fran Drescher? Worst nervous conversation ever at the bust party. I thought she was toast. And yet later Jason jumped right in with a passionate kiss and kept her in the game. Who knows? 6) Molly. Reminds me of Swoozie Kurtz. Not a good thing. 7) Naomi. Surprised she is still here but he can’t cut them all.
Melissa. Cute but not exactly pretty. Hasn’t made a big impression. 9) Natalie. Talk about a classless exit. A walking blonde stereotype. About as shallow as they come. I would have liked to seen him keep her just to keep things interesting.
Oh yeah, I forgot Megan. She does look like Dixie Carter from Designing Women. She is not appealing to me. Is she lying about her age? She seems way older than 24.
Hilarious recap! From the shameless pringles/Dr. Pepper/Chick-fil-a comments to bears (bears, really?) to the rose breakdown was all spot on.
I agree that there are a lot of celebrity look-a-likes going on. I’m going to go out on a limb and say Nikki looks like Roselyn Sanchez from Without A Trace. Anybody else think so?
“these are broken. mine are broken. look! there’s the band.” Sorry, don’t know this reference????? Please fill me in.
I am part of the minority who likes Stephanie. Must be because I am from Alabama and she is representing my state very well–classy, nice to everyone, nurturing, focusing on Jason without being so competitive that she is rude/mean/bitchy. I have a friend who works with a Stephanie relative and…Stephanie’s house is up for sale. hmmmmmmm
LOVE this blog! Loved this recap. I agree this blog is the best part of the show. (I too want to know where is OHCH’s blog???)
#78, yes there was one other girl that I remember vomiting on the show, can’t remember the season but they had to pull the limo over on the way to the final rose and she squatted in her evening gown on the roadside and let it spew – complete with sound effects – ick.
terri s – Pretty Woman when she doesn’t know how to work the opera glasses.
#64: I, too, was horrified about the bust date. To me it amounted to exploiting these women in the name of charity. I think if Stephanie had been on that date, she might have been classy enough to decline – at least I hope so.
And why did Melissa need to share her Double Fs on television? It’s not a secret like “I was married before” or “I have a child” or “I can never have children.” It isn’t the kind of secret that might make a man reconsider whether he wants to be involved with a woman, is it? So why bother? To tell him what he missed out on? I don’t get it.
Was anyone else bothered that Jason was poking around to find out who the mean girls are? Since he was on the show before I would certainly expect him to know how competitive it gets and to take anything anyone says with a grain of salt. Megan’s not my favorite, but I hate that Lauren named names.
I think Stalker Shannon’s psychosomatic illness had less to do with the stress in the house and more to do with the fact that Jason isn’t really into her. What better way to bring the attention back to her.
And as for Spray Tan Natalie – I just wanted to run a brush through her hair. It looked crappy from the moment she came downstairs. And why would you be late for a date when the nine other girls your date is also dating are there to get more face time with him. That was stupid…
Lincee — loved the list of bears! Had to think twice at necessities. Very funny!
“Bear” necessities! VERY FUNNY!!! and one of my favorite movies of all time! Lincee, you are truly a genious! Thank you for an unforgettable recap! Go Melissa and Jillian!
#73 Lila_bean & #81 terri s – OHCH’s blog
http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/01/chris-harriso-2.html?iid=top25-Chris+Harrison+blogs+‘The+Bachelor’%3A+episode+3
#50 yaya13 – I think you hit it on the head
and someone mentioned Jillian looking like Amy Grant and I see that too.
#82 Jen Jen I think that was the runner up for Jesse Palmer’s season – Tara?
Lovin’ this season more than I could have dreamed!!!!
My husband is now wandering in and out of the room when the bach is on…he can’t seem to help commenting now. When Natalie said, ” I love bears”, Jason’s face was priceless and his response, loved it.
Stephanie is too much, on the beach you could tell she was not used to really playing around, etc. It was too forced. All that shrieking, I was ready to slap a gag on her. Remember, Jason likes a girl that is up for adventure and can get gussied up. That is so not tragic Steph.
Molly blew it…she was trying to be cute with the butterfly comment and then she tried to back pedal with, “it’s a really good comfortable nervous.”
ABC, the shot of the front fountain and the toilet flushing, priceless!
Love your recap Lincee!
bravo (woot woot woot) for another fabulous recap.
Anyone else wondering if they’ll do a dress hiking montage on the “women tell all” special? Seriously, every time I turn around there’s anothe one hiking up thier strapless dress. If it keeps falling ladies, maybe it’s not the dress for you.
Lincee, thanks so much for brightening everyone’s day. Can you all help me out? How do you tell someone is wearing extensions??? I know they’re everywhere today, but other than someone had short hair yesterday and has long hair today, how do you tell?
Every season I say that I am not going to watch this show, but season after season, I go back because of your recaps Lincee!!!!! THis episode was a classic! I watched the entire thing thinking “Ooooh Lincee’s gonna have a field day with this one!!!” Thanks for the great recaps!!!!! Can’t wait for the next episode!!!
Just out of curiosity, I googled some 2000-2002 era photos of Michael Jackson and compared them side by side with Nikki’s photo – you HAVE to do this! I’m telling you, the resemblance is uncanny!
I know that some think that Jason is melba toast….I don’t! I think he is thoughtful and he reactions are great. At least he is not spouting cliche after trite cliche.
Does anyone know what a size 20 FF is? I get the FF part, cause I am a DD. But size 20? Don’t the sizes start at 30 or something? Anybody?
#88, I was kind of wondering the same thing. Sometimes you can tell because of the texture (I kept thinking that Claire’s hair on “Heroes” wasn’t looking quite right), but sometimes you can’t. I didn’t know about Natalie’s extensions, it just bothered me a lot that she kept running her hands through it.
Any girl who likes to get gussied up can tell you – don’t fidget with your hair too much because the oil and sweat from your hands weighs it down and makes it look nasty!
There is NO WAY that Megan is 25 years old, pllleeeasse! She is so lying about her age and looks 35 not 25!
I think it was bizarre of Melissa to tell Jason that she had the reduction surgery – timing wise, however, my sister-in-law had the reduction surgery and she had tons of scarring. It is a major surgery, she is self conscious about the scars. I think she said that you can’t breast feed (or fetus feed, per Megan) once you have had the reduction done.
1. With respect to the Most Awkward Moment….EVER!!, sorry Lincee, not Kissing 101 (Intro to Kissing), but Kissing 097 (Pre-Fundamentals of Kissing that you have to take as a prereq to Kissing 101, which most normal people can just add…)
2. With respect to Melissa’s… ahem… admission… All I have to say is that one took me back to the Chinese restaurant scene in Waiting for Guffman. You will know what I am talking about if you saw it… Really funny when you know it is parody… really funny in real life when a person is compelled to share such things.
3. Ping pong chairs and short dresses are a bad combination.
4. As I said in the last post, Stephanie’s one-on-one time at the mansion was awkward… but she got the job done. I’m not attracted, but she is the real deal for having a long and happy life if you are the “likes being taken care of”-type of guy.
Speechless — 20FF is a stick figure girl with ginormous boobs that guys draw in Jr. High.
Did anyone else notice the scenes for next week with the camping date between Molly & Jason – the SOUND effects that were coming from the tent – moans and zippers?? OH MY!!!!
Lincee – been reading your stuff for years & I am such a fan! You’re awesome!
Thanks #96 Anon. I guess anything is possible. The smallest size on the bra ordering website is 28…
I’ve never heard of a bra band size smaller than 28…..And I’m a FF, too, a 38FF. Was a thin 34F in high school. I don’t know how anyone could be a 20FF!
My take on Nikki’s kiss was that she was going for the cheek to cheek air kiss, but he grabbed her chin to turn toward him so he could give her a real kiss. But the real kiss itself was pretty awkward.
Shannon is such a hot mess, she’s got to be going home next week. And what was up with her ugly dress?
Maybe I missed all of the comments about this – there was one at the top I did see. What is happening with Stephanie’s EYEBROWS??? Holy cow! Not only are they nowhere near where the normal eyebrow resides, but they touch the bridge of her nose! Now I admit that I could be a little more prompt with my eyebrow maintenance, but can’t our fabulous ABC Intern go talk to someone about getting Stephanie’s eyebrows back to normal? I have a hard time focusing on anything happening when she is on the screen because those pencil lines in the middle of her forehead scream at me for help! Just saying….
#96 and #98 – She said she was a 28FF. Smallest band biggest cup? Poor girl… Also, the editing right around that admission was weird, like they’d been talking about something more serious… I have a feeling she didn’t just blurt it like that… I didn’t think it was totally random considering they were just painting their boobs. And wasn’t she the one who made the comment ” the canvas isn’t as big as i remember”?
Loved the blog this week..hysterical!
#87 (and others) I have to pop in and say a few things as a person who has had the same procedure as Melissa and to defend her a bit….it can be an issue for some men. There are scars and it is a very emotional thing, especially if she was that large during her teenage years. And honestly, if you had waited so long to have it done and then felt so much better about yourself you would feel like shouting it from the rooftops. Given the context of the date I would probably have said something too. Remember, we dont know what else was said to make her bring it up…editing, editing.
the problem with Shannon is that she thinks she and Jason are already in a relationship. and now she is just waiting for him to realize it! unfortunately for her, he hasn’t “seen the light,” nor do I think he ever will.
oh well! there’s bound to be someone out there that can handle her teeth and crazy ways!
Hilarious!! I LOVED the pretty woman references Lincee! “these are broken, mine are broken…”
This recap is fantastic. Thank you for making me spit out my coffee – twice!
Jesse has found love and he still loves hanging out with his other Bachelor friends…
I recognize Holly from the Bachelor, I just don’t remember anything about her. Anyone??
http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/01/21/the-bachelorettes-jesse-csincsak-hits-the-slopes-with-a-new-gal-pal/
Boobs 41 times and 2, TWO Pretty Woman references!! We think you’ve got a lot of potential Lincee Ray!!
Best recap yet, can’t wait for next week.
“oh yo oh yo, catch this”….LOVED IT! If he had just tried to bite her hand with the jewelry box while she laughs awkwardly….it would have been the perfect Pretty Women tribute!
You know, I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out if any of the girls have any sort of true chemistry with the guy (I guess from the previews of him making one girl moan in the tent next episode is a clue, but….). Then, it just hit me: Jason’s a himbo. So far, the guy hasn’t really shown me any “depth” or anything as he keeps alluding to. Granted, he’s not a moron like Angry Stupid Spray Tan Girl. But these conversations between him and ANY of the girls is kinda painful. Like….like…..like……he talks like a high schooler. HE is painful to listen to as well! If he wasn’t so hot, would anyone REALLY care about the guy? Let’s be honest. They don’t have guys like me on there. They put himbos on, but they don’t offer much more than the insecure bimbos.
I’m wondering if he just ends up with the chick from last year and calls it a day. There’s no real chemistry between anyone on the show as far as I’m concerned.
ITA with #108….I have been a bit disappointed that Jason seems about as shallow as some of these girls. He is too busy pretending to get to know the girls while looking at the chests on display to get to any real conversations.
Yeah, a lot of likes, and his big conversation starter/awkward moment filler seems to be ‘So! Have you ever been to Seattle?’ Also, I do not think he is hot for some reason. I am totally watching for the drama this season, definitely not to drool over him!
AMEN!
and Lincee…one of your best recaps ever!
Amen!
Lincee, I finally read Our Host’s blog and #1, I love him more than ever, and #2, I think he’s been giving you some secret shoutouts! Not only did he refer to the “magic 8 ball” blimp (which, okay, we were all thinking), but he also used “bless her heart” to describe Jillian. Come on–Don’t you have that thing copyrighted or something?! I half expected him to tell us that the girls do Jazzercise to pass the time and their grocery lists consist of everything from Springtime Oreos to pink hardhats! This season is shaping up to be one of the best in YEARS in my opinion…Jason’s expressions are PRICELESS, and I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard as I laughed at “I really love bears.” All I could think was, “Are these girls purposely TRYING to give our fave bloggers more material?” Anyway, keep it up–funniest recap since A Man and His Monkey!
I like shoes.
Stilletos, wedges, boots, flip flops, all shoes, really. That’s all….
I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
Remembering that comment about the bears helps me to forget her awful exit and reference to God. THAT makes me cringe.
DC…it hit me when I read your last comment that you’re right. Not much there. How could I have overlooked that? OH! I know, I was distracted by the boobs, bawling, bimbos and booze… OH, and bears. Yea, bears. They distracted me.
Since we’ve been talking about celebrity look-alikes…how about a celebrity “sound-alike”. Next time Lauren is talking…close your eyes, and you’ll swear that ABC brought Elizabeth Hasselback to the Bachelor straight from The View.
Jenna #67 – girl, you make a valid argument!!! Megan did go ridiculously far with saying that it was hard not to be around people that aren’t thanking God that she is in their life. It just seemed so crazy that anyone on Earth would say that…my point is that it was just so far-sided….that to me, she was reaching out of desperation. I stand by my theory that the initial girl vote knocked her so off-balance that she feels she needs to over-compensate to Jason, feeling that he has already established this impression of her based on “those bitches’” vote. I can not believe someone can simply be THAT self-centered unless it’s their “schtick” (for example, Trish from the dumb bo-hunk Jesse Palmer season), and it doesn’t seem to be her angle otherwise.
I did have to read more about the fetus comments on here because I totally missed that part of the episode! There is no excuse for that absurdity!!! Sidenote – I really don’t want to have to read or reference the word “fetus” again. That word gives me an ick factor, sorry….maybe it’s because I’m not the least bit maternal.
OK now enough wasting my energy on Megan…except to snort that she’s being compared to Julie Sugarbaker!! Trust me, I’m fully prepared for her to prove me wrong though…Jenna, one more crazy outburst from her and then you come find me and tell me you told me so!!!
Lincee, that grid at the bottom of your post is great, but a little bit wrong. It has Sharon still in the running and she is back home, hopefully looking for a job.
About megan- if you check out Chris Harrison’s Episode 3 blog, you’ll find an extra video with both Lauren and Megan talking about the previous night at the rose ceremony.
Who is more capable of throwing anyone and everyone under the bus to get to the top? I’m thinking…. Lauren.
Can’t put the link here cuz of the waiting for problem, but on the Realty TV Web site there’s a story about Jesse and his weekend with other Bachelors from Deyawnas season plus, he is definitely seeing Holly from the Matt and Monkey show.
I love that he says they didn’t talk about DD on their “Bachelor” weekend. Snap!
Pretty Woman stuff — priceless. One of your best, Lincee.
Did anyone else notice how tight Jason’s pants were when he came into the room before the big rose ceremony drama thing? A little inappropriate IMHO.
Why is Sharon still on the chart? She was out in week two. She was awkward.
I say Nikki, Shannon, and Megan are out next week.
Natalie: “I’m cute, sporty and love clothes.” – Flashback – sounds like ESPRIT Bear or Malibu Barbie – http://www.dolls4play.com/idguide/idbarb29.jpg
“Necessities” made me snort-laugh. You made me snort-laugh with ONE WORD. You, Lincee, are *good*.
Keep it up, chick-a-dee!
I stumbled across this blog and it is hil-a-ri-ous! I enjoyed the recap very much! This is the first season that I’ve watched and I must say it’s been funny, awkward, strange, & dramatic all rolled into one. (Shout out to OHCH, I found your blog from Lincee’s here).
Anyway, my point is, did anyone else catch Jason’s face as he was walking away from the bathroom door back into the rose ceremony after comforting Shannon during her stomach issues. If you have the program recorded go re-watch the second as he walks away. His eyes are HUGE like he’s thinking, “Holy cow, this girl has some issues!” I totally LOL at his face….his expressions are priceless. I think the rose he gave her was simply a sympathy rose.
#80 I totally agree…Nikki does look like the chick from Without a Trace.
Literally only watch the show that I can keep up with your blog. Just wanted to add that the failing economy has caused ABC to make budget cuts, and since they are going to have to pay for years and years of therapy for Ty, Sophia, and the rest of the kids, the date boxes got nixed. If they want the therapy thrown in for free, they’re going to have to move to VH1.
Anyone else catch Melissa’s Spanx? Was watching it online and, at 13:19 into the second half, there they are, creamy white sticking out of that purple dress.
Everyone together: Bless her heart.
Can you say, desperate housewife? I about fell off my chair when Nikki set womankind back a few years by saying, “that’s what girls are for”. Between Nikki and Stephanie (I just want to take care of you…), I just about lost it. Ladies, remember a few things called equal rights, careers….I’m just saying.
Well have tried posting this since last night and for some reason my posts on this blog won’t post so here goes try number 3.
Mo and others wondering if anyone would actually buy a bust of the girls and Jason….the answer is YES! Check it out yourself on ebay:
http://shop.ebay.com/items/?_nkw=keep++a+breast+the+bachelor&_sacat=0&_fromfsb=&_trksid=m270.l1313&_odkw=keep+breast&_osacat=0
Jillian and Melissa are in the lead at $500! Jason trails them at $300. Some have no bids at all; including Megan’s; which coincidentally has no fetuses! They are all quite impressive! Interpret that anyway ya want!
Sorry if this shows up a dozen times, but for some reason my posts are not posting!
For Mo and all the others on here who may wanna get in on the bidding:
On ebay, you, too, can bid on jason and the girl’s bust (search keep a breast). So far, Melissa and Jillian are in the lead at $500 and Jason is slightly behind at $300. Several others have no bids at all, including Megan; which incidentaly has no fetuses at all. Some are quite pretty and inspirational and sadly for Naomi hers is most uhmmm unbalanced. The scariest part is their full name is used. Some are quite impressive in other ways too! Start your bidding….starts at only 99.99!
#119 – I totally noticed how tight his pants were too and I was a little taken aback. I do not find that look attractive at all!
Have you guys read Jason’s blog on People.com? I just found it. Nothing too revealing… although he does have a pet name for Melissa, calling her Mel. This was in the second week (although no clue if he’s writing them now as they air, or if he wrote them as the weeks were unfolding). But I think it shows a level of comfort. I’m really thinking Jillian and Melissa for the final two. That would be nice and refreshing… to see two sweet girls actually make it to the end.
#78 and #82 – the other vomiter was on Jesse Palmer’s season on the way to the final rose – can’t remember her name, but she didn’t get the final rose – she also had the scary father with all the guns… it was a little unclear whether she actually vomited or if they just edited it to make it seem like she did…I guess vomiting = drama = good t.v.
You can find all the girls’ busts right here: http://rover.ebay.com/rover/1/711-53200-19255-0/1?type=4&campid=5336199941&toolid=10001&customid=&mpre=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.ebay.com%2F_W0QQsassZthekeepabreast2005
As for Jason being shallow, I think it’s just that he doesn’t have much to work with. Most of the girls seem to have poor conversational skills so he has to keep it simple. You could tell on the Bear Date that he wanted Nat-bear to dig a little deeper and carry on an adult convo.
Oh Lincee….this was too funny! I don’t know where to begin except to say that I was doubled over laughing every few lines. Thank you for brightening an otherwise humdrum day. I am really just surprised the show producers couldn’t find a better crop of girls for our boy Jason. There are a couple of nice girls but overall this seems like a disappointing group that still has a lot of growing up to do. (minus Steph)
I just expected a lot of very good contenders for someone like Jason who is looking for marriage/family.
I don’t seem him ending up with any of these girls long term. I like the canadian girl but even that doesn’t seem a total match. Melissa is cute and bubbly but seems immature in other ways. Either they haven’t revealed the true connections he’s made or they just aren’t there.
There is a website conducting a charity auction of behind the scene photos from various reality tv shows, including many from the bachelor. i thought it was interesting to see how many crew members are on the “private” dates. I do not know if we are allowed to post links, but you can find it at http://dawnchenette.zenfolio.com
Ouch…I didn’t catch the spanx. Will have to go back and look. Jeanne, refresh my memory, which one was Holly from the Man and his Monkey show that Jesse is seeing?
#129 Joy, Where is this blog of Jasons? I just searched it on People.com and couldn’t find anything. Can you post a link? Thanks!
Here’s the link for Jason’s blog…http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/01/20/bachelor-jason-blogs-about-week-3/
Also…has anyone noticed that one of the bidders for Melissa’s plaster breast cast is the user “J***K”…possibly a Jason Mesknick? Just a thought…..
#134, #78, #82 – I think her name was Tara! She was waaaaaay pissed when Jesse didn’t pick her too.
realitytvworld.com reports that Kari was a former Kansas City Chief’s cheerleader. How did I miss this? They made so many references to the Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, Melissa. Was Kari’s former fame mentioned?
I’m thinking Stephanie’s overzealous Botoxing is what causes her eyebrows to look like that. Her forehead is so tight I worry it’s going to just pull off her face.
These are broken, mine are broken – LMAO, Lincee. Greatness.
Oh how you make me giggle!
Ok, another kissing comment. #100 mentioned something that has BUGGED me about Jason since the DDahna season. He always seems to grab the kissee’s chin and pull it toward him to kiss. Ok, not always, but mostly. I’m not exactly down with that. I don’t think I’d like it…. actually. Anyone else??
And Pretty Woman references rock! AWESOME job this week Lincee. Fantastic! ROFL!
I can’t believe I am actually defending a previous bachelorette on this show, but you guys are talking about Tara from Jesse’s season. While she wasn’t perfect, that girl was ripped apart by ABC. The vomiting thing seemed so fake (fake sound effects). True, she was upset and nervous, but the girl didn’t do anything wrong. Then, yes, she did get mad when he rejected her, but he was a TOOL.
But the worst was on the After the Final Rose, where they brought out that Trish chick who was the biggest plant who was ever planted on this show (the producers got her to go back to try to get Jesse in the hotel after she was rejected) and they basically had Trish call Tara a whore on television because it was alluded that Tara slept with Jesse. omg. It was really low of ABC to do that, totally unfair to Tara…especially since Trish was the one who (in a fake, planted sense) tried to lure Jesse away on a date and seduce him.
Anyway, Tara ended up walking off the stage on that ATFR and I don’t blame her because the whole thing was SO ridiculous and horribly mean to her. My sense was that she got really caught up in the show and thought she was in love, was hurt when he didn’t choose her, and then realized later OMG Jesse is a moron and I made a fool of myself and now I’m contractually obligated to go on ATFR and they are calling me a whore for no reason other than to make dramatic TV.
I felt really bad for Tara. She got a very, very raw deal. Almost as raw as Brad — except at least he got some vindication when everyone saw how DD turned out.
#147 – Who cares? Why spend 4 paragraphs on some burn-out bachelorette on the 2nd worst season ever of the Bachelor? Someone asked if someone else had puked on the show, someone else said it was the girl from Jesse’s season (and even said it was unclear if she actually puked, sound effects etc), and someone identified the girl’s name…it was more like “Bachelor trivia” than bashing Tara. It was no big secret that it happened. Simma down…that’s old news and no worth getting all riled up, what….5 years later? It’s also no secret that any network is not looking out the people that they make into characters on any ‘reality’ show…if any contestant goes into it thinking that networks care about people and not about ratings is incredibly naive and gets exactly what they sign up for…shame the people who put themselves out there for “true love”, ahem, I mean NOTORIETY, and take no responsibility when they get hosed!
#56-Rena-you had…a…..?…………LOL!!!
Sorry if I missed someone else posting this, but the boob molds may be viewed and bid on at:
http://www.keep-a-breast.org/
Good times.
#147, FWIW I appreciated your post. I agree about Trish being the Plant-to-end-all-Plants. And Tara getting a raw deal. And if you don’t talk abotu that here, well… where?! Thanks.
#139 Sher — Hi there! If you go to the astrochicks web site, all that plus the usual and dot com, you’ll see a pic of Jesse and Holly. You can also google her name, Holly Durst, and see her Bachelor season pic
.
Okay, here is my two cents on Hollywood lookalikes…Megan is Joan Collins from Dynasty. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3615070208/tt0081856. I think she is either fibbing about her age or she has had a very hard life thus far.
I feel like I have been waiting forever and a day until the next episode is shown. Cmonnnnnn bachelor! Hurry up!
I’m pretty sure during the first episode the show the New Zealand dates, which are for the last 2 girls and I am almost positive Stepanie is the voice of one of them. Looks like she might make it farther then we think!!
I know Ang I totally agree!!! I wish 7pm would get here already!
I knew I loved your blog, but the reference to Pretty Woman was priceless. Thanks!
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