6:41: (L) Watching American Idol on a big screen is going to change my life.
6:48 – Christmas for me growing up (and even now) is one of my favorite things in the world. I wake up in the morning, get my little brother out of bed, go to the fireplace and see what Santa gave us. At the ripe old age of 29, not much has changed on Christmas morning. This morning I woke with the same feeling, except I had to wait 12 hours to find out what I got from Santa, and I actually already know what I got. Kris Allen all wrapped up ready for me to unwrap (that last phrase is said as least creepy as possible, I promise.) I only hope that I was not a bad boy this year and get Adam (sticks and coal) as my gift.
6:53 – Sitting in front of the TV, with the cutest boy in a camo shirt and no pants crawling around, waiting for it to start. It could not come soon enough. I wish it was socially acceptable for me to sit here with no pants on, but I am sure I would end in some sort prison.
6:56 – I will make this promise to all of you Lamer-holics: “I, Kyle Cordell, promise to TRY to like Adam. I will not make fun of him right when I see me. However, if he is screaming with his giraffe tongue or wearing some sort of ladies bouffant, I wave all the rights of trying to like him.”
6:59 (L): Lincee’s phone rings. WHO IS CALLING ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS??? (her sister)
7:00 (L): I find it odd that a singing reality show does not have a theme song.
7:00 (L): THIS is American Idol.
7:00 – Jill, Lincee, Jill’s mom Pam, Sammy Sam Sam, and myself, is there a better way to watch American Idol. Lincee just claimed there is no AI theme song, and she could not be more wrong, when you hear that DAH DAH DAH DAH, you know what you are about to watch. Lincee is wrong and dumb. She is claiming that a song has to have someone singing. She is about as right as Kara’s Aerosmith reference last week.
7:01 (L): Ryan’s tan looks pretty in front of the blue stairs.
7:01 (L): I can see Simon’s nipples through his shirt.
7:01 – Just realized I will not be here for the finale next week and I had to take a moment of silence.
7:02 – Moment over, and Ryan just made an 80s movie reference. The three amigos, I am going out on a limb and guessing that the three of them may not be the best of friends. I can not see them going out for coffee, or Danny and Kris joining Adam when he goes to his hair girl.
7:03 – Did a chick really bum rush Adam? Would that send Adam into a state of confusion, or would he reject her quicker than when we all turned our sets during Paula’s act last week.
7:04 (L): Gokey is singing Paula’s song…”Dance Little Sister.” Never heard of it. Starting off with a “C’mon!” Raspy. Looks like he’s about to throw up. Scatting with the sax. Paula’s cousin’s name is Terence Trent D’Arby.
7:05 – Baby Sam’s pants went on and he went to bad, that is a sad time for me. And I love watching the drummer, he has so much fun, that is actually the only reason I watch Adam’s performances. Danny’s song was good, but I would love to pick a song we all knew, that would be fun.
7:07 (L): Paula loves Gokey. Go figure. She likes his gyrations. Kara can suck it. This is a SINGING competition.
7:08 (L): Gokey wants you to understand…HE JUST WANTS TO SING!
7:09 (L): Paula just punched Simon in the left breast.
7:09 – Judges time
Randy – Dude count is up to 3
Simon – I am glad he said this is not a dance show, because it isn’t. If that is the case, comment on every time Adam does some theatric motion. Does he not look like he is about to do the big finale for Cat’s when he comes on stage. (Gardale, my third man crush just walked in the door. I am in love with his sexy body.)
7:16 (L): Randy and Kara want Apologize. It’s dark and beautiful. Just like Kris.
7:16 – I hate that Kara picked Kris’ song. Did Kara just say a dark and beautiful song. She bugs the piss out of me.
7:17 (L): On the keys…baby GRAND! Kyle is singing backup right now. Close up of the fingers. I wish he had cleaned the pinky nail a little better, but I still love him.
7:17 – I love his performance, so good. He added his weird facial expressions which are always a crowd pleaser. (If I did not like him, I would make fun of those so much, but I won’t)
7:19 (L): Randy loves that Kris has vocal chords. Kara thinks that he should be swinging bats and playing his guitar. Paula talks about a bum note but she was proud. Simon calls her out. And then throws Kara under the bus. Simon is stirring it up tonight!
7:19 – Randy did not comment on his performance at all, just his future, and no DUDE. Impressive. Ok, here we go, I am starting a website and it is called:
7:21 – Thank you Simon for calling Kara out. And I love that she can not take any criticism, and she can not NOT talk, she has to always be talking. Did anyone notice that none of the judges really commented on his performance. Kara could not be anymore annoying. We all know that I love Kris, ok the cat’s out of the bag, but you have to say that was a good performance.
7:22 (L): Ryan said Kris is humble. Kara punctured Simon’s face with a press on nail.
7:23 (L): ADAM IS LAST AGAIN. HOW UNFAIR IS THIS?
7:23 – Prediction – Simon picks “Dude looks like a lady” for Adam, how fitting would that be.
7:26 – “Mini sirloin burgers” That song will be stuck in my head the rest of the night, if it is not stuck in your head, you are not a real American.
7:28 (L): Paula is a spaz in her chair. This is somber Adam.
7:28 – Paula throws in “We had lunch” about U2. NAME DROPPER.
7:29 (L): Wow. No tongue.
7:29 (L): Annnnnd there it is.
7:29 – Is that Spock up on the stage, notice the pointy ears. We are 15 seconds into the song and he falls back on his screamy phase. Could he do a song without that. It is like Seth Rogan falling back on a dirty line in a movie because he can not think of a creative, funny line.
7:30 (L): Judges let the audience scream back at Adam for a good two minutes. Randy thinks the dude is in the zone and hot. He’s keepin’ it real. Much like his friendship bead necklace. Kara thinks Adam is unbelievable. I sort of do too. Paula uses the word “one” a lot. Simon gloats since he knows famous British people. Bono is speed dialing as we speak.
7:31 – Randy – Dude count – 5, but he actually said he did not love him. Thank you, finally someone said it.
7:31:10-7:32:59 – Paula and Kara talk and give their opinion. If you are watching now, I am sorry, that i one minute and 49 seconds you will never EVER get back in your life. Sorry. The only thing that would have saved Kara’s comment to Simon better is if she said “Boom, Roasted.” She is horrible.
7:34 (L): The judges blatantly want Adam to win. Why are we even watching this show? They could at least do what DWTS does and pretend that everyone is great giving “10s” during the the semi-finals. C’MON!
7:34 – Minute Maid commercial, my favorite on TV right now. It takes a few minutes to get, which I understand, but watch it again, and again, and then you will laugh, I promise. “Cancun, Spring Break.” I would rather watch that over and over again than Kara, Paula and Adam in their own world. They should start their own show: “Two girls, a guy, an obsession and a cyanide pill.” Premise, who will take the pill after being annoyed the longest. Answer, none of the three, and then they pass out the pills to the audience, I am in line to take the first pill.
7:39 (L): Idol gives back update. Lovin the mosquito nets!
7:39 – Gardale’s quote “I bet Carrie Underwood will stick out like a sore thumb in that village.” The only good thing about this clip is that they are playing Toto, but the bad thing is they are ruining Toto. You can not ruin a great song like Africa. I had lunch with Toto the other day, and then they called me today and said I could write their name on this blog. So we are ok.
7:41 (L): Wow. We gave back quick. I love Toto.
7:42 – Debate in the room – Which Rocky had the end line “Ding Ding” and then the frozen shot of Rocky and Apollo (Carl Weathers) hitting each other. We are thinking Rocky 3, anyone? And I wish Seacrest would have done that right before commercial break.
7:45 (L): Does anyone ever go to the website and sign in for Coke Rewards? Yeah. Me to.
7:45 – If you have Comcast, cancel your subscription now and get U-verse, it is so much better. (Cheesey plug)
7:45 – American Idol has the best theme song ever, Just behind Differnt Strokes and Growing Pains.
7:46 (L): Danny. The PRIDE of Milwaulkee. And he thinks I’m beautiful.
7:47 (L): This post is brought to you by 96.5 Lite FM. And Dr. Brazenwood’s dentistry on the south loop.
7:47 – Joe Cocker is right in Danny’s wheelhouse. If he does it right, this could be good. But then we remember last week’s Dream on fiasco. Oops.
7:48 (L): I just had to wake Kyle up.
7:48 (L): I’m glad that the dude in the TOP THREE can really, really, really, really sing. That’s a good thing to have when you are in a singing competition.
7:48 – Sorry, but I am not liking this. Kind of boring, but of course he gets to the end and his note is good he hits. But all in all, it was ho hum.
7:49 (L): Simon thinks that was a vocal master class? I just shouted at the TV.
7:49 – Randy – Dude count – 7. I think Randy thinks he can sing. Really sing.
The judges are liking him a lot more than I think it was, it was a good one, but a little boring. And let’s play a game, What Pills are Paula taking today?
7:50 (L): Gokey isn’t going to worry about the O-pinions.
7:51 (L): Kris has a sparkly shirt on. Ryan wants to know if he has won a spot on the finale. Um…YES!
7:51 – I am secure in my manhood. With that being said, Kris is an attractive Male. I am a little nervous with a Kanye song. I feel like he needs Akon in the back humming some random beat and getting paid 1 million dollars. (Kanye side note; Go to Youtube and type in Kanye West President Bush and watch the video of Kanye on a telethon saying he does not like Bush and watch Mike Myers face, brilliant)
7:52 (L): Seeing Kris Allen in HD makes me appreciate his baby smooth skin more than when watching him on my 19-inch.
7:52 – Randy – Dude count – Lost count
I am impressed the judges liked him, I thought for sure they would not like him, but I was wrong, and I will be wrong if it is good for Kris.
7:53 (L): I’m assuming that Simon doesn’t know this Kanye song.
7:53 (L): Randy likes this better than Kanye. Better than the original. He is in it to win it! DUDE!
7:54 (L): Kyle wishes Kara was no longer with us. He didn’t use that phrase. But this is a family blog.
7:54 (L): Simon liked it. I think it’s the sparkles on the shirt.
7:57 – Shocker – Adam is going last. My friend James and I have a thought that the show is rigged for Adam to win. James told me not to post this, but I am anyway, because I think it may be. James, tell us your thought. And if you all remind me, I will write it.
7:58 – Adam singing Cryin, the only way this would be good is if Alicia Silverstone came in the back and got in a car with Liv and drove off. Remember my Alicia love, well all guys in their twenties and thirties remember her. She got us thorough our youth. Here goes the yell and giraffe tongue. I HATE ADAM LAMBERT. Sorry I have held it in on the blog forever but he just ruined a great song. So He ruins a U2 and Aerosmith, and Randy is now saying he is one of the best.
8:00 (L): Adam is a rocker. If you don’t believe me, read his bedazzled shirt.
8:00 – Remember watching the auditions at the beginning of this show and and a person comes out and is horrible. Simon says, why are you here, and Billy Bob says “My mom and dad think I have a real good voice.” And Simon says, “Well you are not good and someone needs to tell you that. This is the same with Adam, no one tells him he is bad. Instead, they all stroke his ego and say he is the best. Please someone be honest. But I am fine with him winning and then making horrible songs in the next few years.
8:01 (L): Guyliner is BACK with a vengeance! I had those same earrings in fourth grade.
8:01 (L): Kara: “We’ll see you at the finals.”
8:02 (L): Paula hopes he is collecting frequent flyer miles. Insert Jim Halpert face here.
8:02 – Did anyone notice drunk Kara almost fall out of her chair? She could not wait to get up to the stage, tell Adam that he is amazing and then ask where he got that amazing outfit and could she borrow it. I promise you they have a date tomorrow at Adam’s hair girl. Does anyone else not think that is scary.
8:03 (L): Simon is flat out campaigning for Adam. He just pulled out his cell phone and texted. I saw him. Chris Harrison would never do that.
8:04 (L): Kyle just used a baby rattle as a microphone, stuck is tongue out and impersonated Adam.
8:05 (L): Who’s ready for a REAL reality show? The Bachelorette begins MONDAY!
(From Kyle)
So the show as a whole was ok, but nothing just leapt out at me. I will say I liked Kris’ performances (shocker). I will predict Kris is gone though, which is sad, but in the long run will be fine, because that means he can start making CDs a lot quicker.
Thank you all for keeping up and I hope the Live Blog was fun for you all. We appreciate you guys reading all of this.
Now please take a moment to feel sorry for me that I will not get to watch the finale live next week. If Lincee let’s me, I will write some sort of follow-up when I get back. Hope you all liked.
