A whole lotta nothing
“Cheese ass. Make it happen.”
That was the first line in my notes from last night’s episode. As you can see, there wasn’t a ton going on last night. Oh sure, they MADE us think that someone was going down after discovering that one of the Bachelors had a girlfriend, but that didn’t even happen.
It was a tough episode. But I have to admit…there were little gems here and there. Break Dance Michael’s personality. Crazy Dave being DENIED! More screen time from that dude. I say we jump right in, shall we?
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. You probably aren’t even reading this because the simple disclaimer has been a part of my recap since the days I emailed this puppy to just a few of my closer friends. HA! Fooled you. You’ve skipped this amusing mockery and will not know what in the world your friends are talking about when they say, “Did you like the new disclaimer Lincee did?” However, if you or someone on your Facebook page happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying leftover Easter candy or have a Jazzercise instructor that looks exactly like one of the Bachelors on the show…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.
The episode starts off with Our Host Chris Harrison gathering the boys in the rec room of the bunk house. He’s looking cute with his shirt unbuttoned a little lower than normal and for the first time to my knowledge, we see a peek of chest hair. YOU GO HARE! YOU CAN TOTALLY HANG WITH THESE HOTTIES!
He tells them that there are going to be three dates this week and one of them is the dreaded two-on-one. But there is a wacky twist…Jillian has left LA.
Duh, duh, DUH!
Our Host says that the 13 Bachelors will be leaving to go on dates with Jillian in her home town of Vancouver. HEY OHHHH! Jesse pulls his fedora a little lower over his eyes, I remind myself (for the hundredth time) that the unfamiliar stranger is not the baggage dude but Mark the pizza guy, Reid adjusts his glasses and Michael starts singing “Oh Canada” as heard in the Epcot pavilion at Disney World.
The boys pack their matching luggage, fly north and greet Jillian at the front of a fancy hotel. The boys are pumped that there are bathrooms IN THE SUITE and Ed puts a little smirk on his face when he asks Jilly if there are hut tubs nearby.
You go Ed.
Jillian giggles nervously, downs her champagne and leaves the first date card on the table before she bids the boys adieu.
ROBBY D!!! rips open the envelope and tells Kiptynite that he will be cooking up some love…Vancouver style. HEY OHHHH!
Jake is excited that Kiptynite has been chosen, because that means that she is interested in nice boys. He is ready for the bad boys to leave. Ironically, the camera cuts to Wes turning is nose up at the buffet and Dave taking tequila shots with the concierge.
One-on-One Date
Kiptynite
“Hungry Like the Wolf”
Jilly tells the camera that she has been interested in Kiptynite since he stepped out of limo.
Get in line girl.
She runs to him and he picks her up and twirls her around. This, of course, earns Kip a few bonus points.
Then she goes in for a kiss. He wasn’t ready. She sort of kisses the side of his mouth. She pulls away but he goes in for a kiss that he’s ready for. She gets confused and turns her cheek. He gets the side mouth, but has already stuck his tongue out. They giggle about the moment and then Jillian tries to grab his hand. Unfortunately, Kipper was shoving his hand into his pocket. Jillian looks embarrassed and pulls her hand away as Kiptynite goes in for the grab. She laughs. He laughs. They make a conscious effort to hold hands and finally make contact.
Jillian is very excited to get to know Kip on a more personal level. And what better way to do that than side-by-side in a kayak? They will paddle over to the food market and then go to her place to cook a meal.
Sadly, it’s 40 below zero in Vancouverand Kiptynite is not shirtless in his kayak.
Jillian reminds us that she is competitive and wants to make sure Kip can fit into her life. And that means racing. She needs to know that he can keep up with her and that he will challenge her.
Kip leisurely paddles as Jillian struggles to maneuver her boat. He thinks she’s cute. She thinks he’s wicked awesome. Kiptynite “wins” the race because he reached the bridge before Jillian. She wants to congratulate him with a kiss. He slides his boat up to hers and…they sort of miss each other. He laughs. She laughs. She leans over to kiss him and yells because she almost tumped over. They give up and give each other high fives instead.
The lack of timing is annoying me a little, but I’m still confident the big, good kiss is coming.
Kipper and Jilly reach the market and Jill sends Kip on a mission to find the ingredients for her pass-ta sauce. In the middle of the produce section, she asks Kiptynite if he likes tomatoes and he responds with, “Your eyes are so pretty.”
Back in the suite that has bed mattresses, Qwahn tells Reid that he would never want to be up against Jake in a two-on-one. Reid admits that he is ready for the house numbers to shrink and Jake tells the camera that Jillian is simply looking for a man.
Aren’t we all Jake? Aren’t we all…
Back at the pier, Kiptynite and Jillian sit on a park bench to talk about the importance of volunteering. Kip feels that the chemistry is good and it’s as if they have been dating a while. Jill gives a quick plug for Big Brother and Lincee wonders why we don’t get to the big kiss and Kip sans shirt in a hot tub?
They decide to feed the birds. Raise your hand if you thought of the Mary Poppins song? Okay. Put your hands down.
After they are bombarded by germ-infested fowl, Jillian suggests they head to her house to do some cooking. She leans over for a quick peck kiss and again, Jillian is denied because quick peck kisses are for people who have been dating for a while and this is his third time to ever see her. When he realized that he missed the boat, he leans over to kiss her as she’s getting up off the bench and he lands somewhere in her hair.
Are they joking with this? We must have the mother of all make out sessions coming up at Jill’s house.
Jillian: “I didn’t want to do anything overly fancy. I just wanted dinner with my man. And to feed him my pass-ta sauce with a spoon and for him to tell me that my pass-ta sauce is wicked awesome.”
By Jillian’s reaction, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t expecting Kiptyniteto come up behind her as she was cooking and give her a very seductive smooch on the nape of her neck. Heck. I swooned at that. It’s getting hot in that kitchen! Or maybe I need to turn down the air conditioning in my apartment. Or maybe I need a date.
After dinner, Jillian and Kip talk about what turns them on. Kiptynitesays that spontaneity is attractive. Jill likes someone who has a big heart and has a good sense of humor. Then she tells Kip that he can look in the mirror to see what she’s attracted to physically.
Kiptynite: “I do have flaws. Of course, it’s not my eight pack. That pretty much sucks the women in. No…my flaw is that I don’t pursue girls. Typically, I see what I want and I go get it. But in relationships, I’m more out of my comfort zone. This was a good exercise for me, so here I am.”
Jillian: “And I’m glad you are here.”
HERE IT COMES! THE HOT MAKE OUT SCENE!
I prepare myself to be embarrassed for this intimate moment by hiding my hands over my eyes. And that’s when I hear it.
Smacking.
I look up to see if they are sucking a long pass-ta string a la Lady and the Tramp and am greeted with some very junior high kissing. It was awkward for me. And we’ve seen these two kiss and, as I recall, I didn’t compare his technique to Bad Ass Brad’s.
Jilly presents him with the rose and they start kissing 101 again. Later, the rose somehow ends up on his hip. I thought that was random, but then got distracted by the couple lounging on the extra large futon that one would normally find in a basement circa 1986. I half expected to hear Journey’s Faithfully or Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time softly playing in the background. Maybe a black light or two?
I have to admit that I was a little let down. Sorry Kip. And it’s not just the fact that you wore your shirt the entire time. I think Reid might be catching up with you my friend.
Group Date
“Who Can Sweep Me Off My Feet?”
Fedora Jesse
Fetish
Jake
ROBBY D!!!
Wes
Michael
Reid
Qwahn
Crazy David
A quick head count and the boys discover that Big Mike and Who Is That Oh Yeah Pizza Guy Mark are the Bachelors up for the two-on-one date. Several exhale a huge sigh of relief. Big Mike tells the camera that he is golden as Gary swings over to get a shot of Who Is That Oh Yeah Pizza Guy Mark looks totally bored and or tired with the entire process.
It was at this point that I knew Big Mike was a goner.
Jillian takes the boys to go curling. You all know what it is. We’ve made fun of this Olympic “sport” forever, yet it pulls us in every four years that it is on the television. But I think the best description was given by Michael:
“It’s shuffle board meets bowling meets ice skating. You hurl a rock down 50 yards of ice. Pretty much nobody knows what they are doing.”
Au contraire mon frère.
Qwahn: “Curling is about flexibility, balance and touch. I have all three.”
His Mama must be so proud.
Jillian announces that the boys will be in a curling competition. They will be divided into two teams, and the group who wins will get a group date with her that night. The others must go home.
TEAM BLUE is Wes, Ed, Reid, Michael and Fetish.
TEAM RED consists of Qwahn, Crazy Dave, Fedora Jesse, ROBBY D!!! and Jake
Michael cracked me up this entire date. He doesn’t take himself too seriously and appears to raise the energy level any time he’s in a room. The others seem to like him as well.
Michael: “Jillian is in spandex and a sweatshirt today. She’s so cute. I just want to pick her up, get a hot chocolate and NOT CURL.”
By the looks of it, Jillian just wants to pat him on the head and give him a lollipop.
I guess something magical is in the fedora, because all Jesse could talk about is that he really, REALLY wanted to win this competition and he was putting his mind, body and soul into getting that little rock into the circle.
Again, we have some amazing insight from Michael:
“Jesse is good at everything. He killed it. He’s a really great guy. Which of course sucks and therefore, I must hate him.”
Thanks to Jesse and his fedora’s skills, the red team wins. Jillian takes them all to an old historic boat for dinner. Jess has changed his lucky fedora for a golfing hat.
I’m not feeling it Jesse. Maybe it’s a wine maker thing and I just don’t understand.
Jillian gives him the MVP award for the day and he drones on about how he carried the team to victory. He was in it to win it. He didn’t just stare up the steps…he stepped up those stairs!
And I’m wondering the whole time if he’s standing on a box or something. Is he really that tall? Is Jilly really that short? Crazy!
After dinner, Jillian said that she and Jake were going to have a little visit. As they were leaving the table, I thought Crazy David smacked her butt. But after a quick rewind, I can confirm he smacked Jake’s butt.
I don’t know why I checked. It didn’t really matter who he smacked. What a cheese ass.
Jake and Jilly sit on a very uncomfortable bench in the hallway and talk about how they haven’t seen each other since the date where he looked up her skirt as she danced on the bar Coyote Ugly style. Ironically, her bra is now showing. To my knowledge, Jake never made eye contact with the push up.
And that’s because he’s a good boy. I mean man. He’s a good man. Maybe too good to be true?
Jilly: “I need to see what everyone is aboot. My first impression of you is that you are too perfect. I’m far from perfect and I want you to know that it’s okay for you to not be perfect. It’s okay to be whoever you are.”
Poor Jake looks like he’s been kicked in the throat and wonders why good guys never finish first. She gives him a pseudo-friend side hug and goes off to find someone who’s more fun.
She finds Jess and his golf hat in a cabin down below sitting on a bed. He tells her how awesome he is for winning the curling match and then rattles on about how Jill is smart, pretty, driven and has a great sense of humor. She giggles and assures him he is not there because of luck. She wants him there.
He decides to go in for the kiss.
It’s as if we are in middle school again! What is it with these boys tonight? And then he brags about how she kissed him back.
Hey Jesse? It’s Lincee. When a girl just sits there and doesn’t do anything with her hands or move her head in any direction during a kiss? That’s not what we would consider kissing back. That’s what we call getting married on the playground in Kindergarten, okay?
The camera cuts to Jillian sitting in what appears to be the dining hall of the boat as Crazy David saunters up to move in for the kill. Straight off the bat, Jillian looks done and I’M LOVING IT!
Jillian admits that she and David behave like buddies, but she’s a little annoyed with his roughing around. She wants a gentleman with a soft side.
And this, my dear readers, is how Crazy David handles his one-on-one time:
“I’m a bad boy. Nobody wants straight lace. I got the first impression rose. There is attraction here. I know that when I saw you in spandex today, I though to myself that your ass was fantastic. Have you ever looked at your ass in the mirror? I’m sure you have. It’s impressive. But is it a cheese ass? I don’t know. I feed off of you. You are so comfortable. [Notices her bra showing again.] Look. You even have your boob out for me.”
I snap my jaw shut in utter disbelief as to what nonsense has come out of this idiot’s mouth.
And then there’s more:
David: “I’m going to kiss you.”
Jillian turning her head: “C’mon now.”
Lincee laughs hysterically and gives Jillian a virtual high five.
David: “Why wouldn’t you kiss me after what I said? Everyone has kissed you.”
Jillian: “No they haven’t.”
David: “YES! Everyone has kissed you except for two people.”
Lincee: “Clearly not the definition of everyone.”
David: “I’ve NEVER been turned down before. If this was in any other situation, I would have kissed you by now. No question.”
I’m going to go ahead and predict that after this show airs, David won’t be kissing girls for a long, long time if they are smart.
He tells the camera that Jillian is playing and she has made this the most exciting game of cat and mouse he’s ever played. He loves it. Game is ON!
The group returns and Jillian gives the rose to Jesse and his golfing hat.
Jesse: “In case you forgot, I won the curling competition. Want to see my trophy? It’s under my hat. I keep it with me at all times, because it reminds me that it’s good to be me.”
Two-On-One Date
Big Mike
Who Is That Oh Yeah Pizza Guy Mark
Big Mike and Pizza Mark are getting ready for their big date. Big Mike is laying on the butch wax pretty thick and Pizza Mark is sporting some rough scruff. By the looks of his droopy eyes, he’s just too tired to get out the straight edge and opts for the electric shaver.
Big Mike spots Jillian and takes off across the meadow to pick her up and twirl. Pizza Mike slowly makes his way to the loving couple, careful not to exert too much energy. Jillian tells the pair that she is going to show them her wonderful city. In a HELICOPTER!
We would get excited about this, but the viewer has already witnessed a helicopter ride in this season. We are left wondering if Our Host Chris Harrison’s brother-in-law recently purchased a helicopter company. I’m going to go with yes.
Jillian walks up to the helicopter and lets Pizza Mark inside. Big Mike uses reality show strategy and hops in after, knowing that Jillian will be forced to sit at the window. He holds her hand the entire time while Pizza Mark catches a few z’s with his head against the window.
Big Mike: “I know it is awkward for everyone for me to be so aggressive. I feel bad for Mark. He’s the Pizza Guy by the way. But I had to hold her hand. That’s how I felt at that moment. I can’t help it. This is REAL to me. You snooze…you lose. Considering who I’m with on this date, I think my chances are pretty good.”
Jillian is looking utterly miserable at dinner. You can tell that she doesn’t like either guy and wants nothing more than to be put to sleep by the sweet sound of Wes’ guitar. Big Mike tells Jillian that he is so attracted to her. He tells her that she is super confident and that turns him on. Jillian admits that she is scared.
Pizza Mark: “Sometimes I just want to buy a dog and move to Alaska. Could I get some coffee over here? Is anyone else tired?”
Big Mike decides to close the deal and tell Jillian that he sees his life with her and that he is here to find his wife. He likes to take big risks and expects big rewards. He pours his heart out for 10 minutes and then Jill hugs his neck.
Annnnnnd Big Mike is done.
The ABC intern punches Pizza Mark awake, gives him some more coffee and motions for him to follow Jillian into the other room for his one-on-one time. Right after you wonder if he’s stoned instead of just tired, he begins to open up a little with a no-nonsense attitude.
Pizza Mark: “I’m not going to be an idiot. I got burned by a cheater. We shared something deep and that’s why it takes me longer to let you in. But I want the rose. These guys are saying that they are in love. I can’t say that. It has nothing to do with you…but me. Love leads to heartache. And that can be intimidating. But love can be found anywhere.”
Jillian: So you believe in love?”
Pizza Mark after a looooong pause: “Absolutely.”
I’m not sure if that was genuine or if he was ready to end this night so he could go back to bed, but all the heartache talk certainly pulled at Jilly’s heart strings.
She ends up giving the rose to Pizza Mark who looked indifferent. Jillian walks Big Mike outside and begins to get teary. He consoles her, crawls into the gondola and gives his exit speech as the contraption descends into the dark night.
Poetry. Sheer poetry.
Back at the hotel suite that has squishy carpet, the guys are waiting in the living area to see which bags are picked up by the bellman. Many are disappointed to find that Big Mike is not coming back. Now who’s going to teach them all to talk like a New Yorker?
Rose Ceremony
All the boys are in their fancy duds…except for Wes…and file out of the suite down to the hotel ballroom. Jill is wearing a sparkly bedazzled dress and insists that tonight is about laughing and having fun.
Enter Reid.
Jillian says that all she wants to do is snuggle up to Reid and talk. But she knows that this time must be used to play catch up and getting to know him better. She asks how the boys are doing and Reid answers that everyone is anxious. He also lets her know that clicks are being formed.
Reid: “It’s very competitive and diverse. You’d be surprised and have a different idea of who you like I’m sure if you lived with us.”
Jillian: “Like who?”
Reid: “Hey! I’m not going to get beat up by Crazy Dave. I’m sure he has thugs he can call that live in the same city as my Mom and Dad too. I have to protect my family as well as myself. Oh no. Not going there. Let’s play a game. Who was your first crush?”
Jillian: “Oh yah! His name was Mickey Kwiatkowski and he would sing and play his guitar for me after hockey practice.”
Reid’s eyes almost lodged in his sockets from rolling them so far in the back of his head. Can anyone catch a break with the Evil Wes around?
Speaking of, Wes drags Jillian outside to make out and remind her that he still hasn’t finished her song. He’s stuck trying to find a word that rhymes with curling. She swoons and says that he is awesome.
Wes: “Did you think it was cheesey?”
Lincee: “Yes.”
Jillian: “I don’t know one girl who wouldn’t want that song!”
Lincee: “I know about 156 that have a different opinion. Let me direct you to my website…”
Fetish divulges to Jake that he heard Wes had a girlfriend back home. They wonder if Wes is going to man up (1) and tell Jillian.
Wes decides to tell her that he has only been in three relationships and has certainly never cheated. Jillian wonders what will happen when he makes it in the big time. Lincee laughs and points at Jillian for being so funny. Wes says that she should worry about that and begins making out with her.
She then tells the camera that there is depth and maturity there and she can see herself falling in love with him.
I’m not going to comment.
Jilly finds Jake meditating in the hallway and wonders why he has been pulling back. He confesses that when they went on their first date, the air was practically catching on fire. Then, on the boat, she told him that he was too perfect and that he needs to be himself.
Jake: “I hate to break it to you, but that’s pretty much me. You can take or leave the perfection. If you are looking for a boy, you have plenty of those from which to choose. If you are looking for a man, look no further.”
KISS HIM YOU FOOL!
But she doesn’t have the chance. In true Qwahn fashion, he comes up at just the right time and jock blocks Jake’s perfect moment.
Fetish is getting all hot and bothered about the fact that some of these guys have girlfriends. He hates that they are there for the wrong reasons. He’s not here to make friends and he certainly doesn’t give a BLEEP if he makes enemies. Whatever can get him to the feet. Toes are the goal. Remember that.
Fetish throws no one in particular under the bus and tells her that some guys are being fake and have girlfriends. Jillian is upset and hates that people are not being honest. She asks Fetish if he will spill and he says no. He too is afraid of David and his connections.
Before Jillian marches her petite little self into the cocktail party to make an announcement, she asks the ABC intern to tell Our Host Chris Harrison to meet her in the Pier One Bookcase room to discuss options.
“If there is someone here with a hidden agenda, make yourself known. I hear that someone has a girlfriend and others are not here for the right reasons. This is the rudest thing I’ve ever heard. I am a good person. I’m here for a husband. There is not going to be a cocktail party tonight. See you at the rose ceremony. Can someone PLEASE get me Harrison? NO! I DON’T WANT THE ABC PSYCHOTHERAPIST. I WANT HARRISON!”
Jillian marches out of the room. ROBBY D!!! calls someone a BLEEP-head and insists that whoever needs to man up. (2)
The producers find Our Host Chris Harrison, who is napping with Pizza Mark on the couch and force him to talk to Jillian. They are pumped because this is great TV! Scandal!
Hare calms Jillian down and convinces her to sit down for a talk.
Jillian: “I feel cheated. (Gary the ABC camera guy cuts to a shot of Wes on the Pier One bookcase.) My feelings are hurt and I feel that I don’t want to cry over this. They don’t deserve my emotions. It’s a BLEEP and I want them gone.”
Harrison: “Some of these guys…you already adore, right? Will you be heart broken? Will you pick one and then change your mind later at the After the Rose, because that didn’t really work out for us last time and might I remind you that you are contractually obligated to…”
Jillian: “I just want the cheater gone Hare. Can you help me?”
Harrison: “My advice? Silence is deadly. Make them stew in it. I’ll handle this. Trust me.”
Jillian looks at the ABC Psychotherapist who gives a little reassuring smile and reluctantly follows Our Host into the ballroom.
Harrison: “OK. Jillian is PISSED. You guys need to man up (3) and just confess who has the girlfriend. C’mon. Let’s get this out in the open. If you have something to say…just say it.”
Uncomfortable pause.
Jillian looks at Harrison.
Our Host stares the men down.
The Bachelors fidget and clear their throats.
Jillian looks as if she wants to speak.
Hare shakes his head ever-so-slightly, encouraging her to hold her ground.
No one is talking. Until…
Jake: “I do have something I want to say. I’m here to find love and I would be really pissed if I knew someone with a girlfriend was here taking my time away from Jill. Be a man and step up. I’d like to know who you are. Man up. (4)”
Fetish is about to hurl.
Harrison maintains his gaze.
Jillian opens her mouth to speak.
Harrison growls at her.
Utter silence.
Ed: “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
ROBBY D!!!: “Whoever you are, I think you are a coward. I don’t deal well with cowards.”
Wes: “I’m clean.”
Lincee: “Good to know. I would have figured you had an STD. Did I say that out loud?”
David: “I know how it can be resolved easy. Tell me who said it.”
Fetish begins sweating bullets.
Qwahn looks at Fetish.
Fetish yells at Qwahn, “Stop looking at me!”
Harrison decides the men are not man enough to man up (5) and asks Jillian if she is ready to make her rose choices.
Jillian: “No. No I’m not. I need to step out for a minute.”
After another round of asking each other to man up (6) Jillian returns with her decision.
Jillian: “Thanks so much guys.”
Lincee: “Uhm…for what?”
Jillian: “Nobody expects to find love here, but it happens. Ever heard of a little couple named Trista and Ryan? I want my own Bachelor babies. And I want ABC to pay for my wedding. I mean business, so next time when Harrison asks you to man up (7) you’d better MAN UP! (8)”
Roses go to:
Jesse the Fedora Wearing Freak
Pizza Mark
Kiptynite
Reid
ROBBY D!!!
Ed
Michael (now that Big Mike is gone will be known as Mikey Mike)
Wes
Jake
Fetish
I’m quite convinced that Fetish and Jillian made a deal off-camera. He will be the mole and trade secrets in exchange for some foot time.
Qwahn and Crazy David are out. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall in THAT bus ride home!
Crazy David asks her why he was given the ole heave ho. She says that she doesn’t know. GAME OVER DAVEY!!!! He gets the crazy eyes going and tells the camera that Qwahn is going down for throwing him under the bus.
What a cheese ass.
Jill thanks the boys for putting up with her and encourages them all to put the weirdness behind them. She wants them to get excited, because they are all going to Whistler and someone gets to take a helicopter ride to her own personal glacier.
There better be hot tubs at these wintery places. I’m just sayin’.
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee







UGHHHHH. Go away, Wes!
Well, when you go to Wes’s website to listen to his song, at least the teaser now has a second line! It may have more lines, too, but I’m not inclined to spend $1.09 finding out.
Lots of people have pointed out the Reid = Chandler Bing resemblance, especially me because I adore Chandler and so moved Reid up in my handicapping based on the resemblance.
I’m still on Team Kip, however. I also really like Jake, but I think when Jilli says “too perfect” she really means “too boring” and I’m not sure I could put up a convincing argument to the contrary.
Can’t wait to see what happens next with the Wes/Fetish drama….the MOST DRAMATIC conflict in Bachelorette history, I’m sure.
#95/99 – Missy. I think this is a complete perception thing obviously as everyone sees things differently, and I don’t get that he’s too perfect so much as maybe on edge with this whole set up maybe. I don’t get the I’m perfection thing even if he said he’s heard he’s too perfect. I see this as a flaw if only he didn’t like he who was. Maybe he’s just vanilla and likes being just vanilla. (I hope I make sense b/c this does in my head – which a whole other long story). Anywho, if he’s heard it before what better way to venture out than to be on a reality show that will force you out of your comfort zone. I can get the not being comfortable and feeling like you never measure up to someone expectations thing, but I don’t get the vibe from him. I got a little bit from Sasha (thinks that’s who she let go last week, but there I completely understood what she meant). Could Jake be a little uptight, maybe. Could he also be laid back and chill in a different situation, I think so.
While it was early to say she could be his potentional soulmate etc, I don’t take that as a negative either. There can be certain things about people that click with you and it’s…wow I’ve always wanted to meet someone like that, or it’s a quality you admire, etc. I don’t think it was more than that as in, yeah I’m going to marry that girl, but more so maybe something he learned about her that made it real I guess for him to be more excited to get to know her, and the choice of words maybe not right (I can’t remember the date).
I’d loop Jake, Ed, Reid in the same group. Nice guys, not too nutso (at least we hope). Again I hope I made sense and I totally see your point on feeling to have to leave up to someone’s high expectations, but that’s not the vibe I get from Jake, but every opinion varies and that’s what makes this blog awesome!
Great recap Lincee. Def LOLable. I certainly did.
And sorry, I think Jillian is the bad kisser. Even my DH shouted it out (which kind of surprised me- I didn’t realize he was awake!) Jillian is def the one that makes all those kisses awkward. She doesn’t really open her lips- completely bizare.
I’m sad that so many keep calling Michael immature and young. I think he’s fun and cute! I haven’t heard any red flags that shows him as immature. He seems like the funny guy that everyone wants to be around. I’m married to one of those- life is good!
I’m really interested in the fact that Jake has been labeled as “perfect.” As I see it, he is a good-looking, intelligent and personable man with a really great job. If one of those elements was missing, would he be imperfect, and therefore, more acceptable? Like if he was a good-looking, intelligent, personable break dance instructor or bartender or pizza entrepreneur? Or an average-looking, intelligent, personable pilot? He doesn’t come across as up-tight or controlling or as if he expects other people to be perfect.
I am married to a good-looking, intelligent and personable man with a really great job, and I love Mr. Shopgirl more than life itself, but he is not perfect. It’s just on the first couple of dates he didn’t mention that he leaves his socks and underwear on the floor, is a picky eater, on occasion has been known to overdraw his checking account, and on even rarer occasions, gets a little moody. That being said, Mr. Shopgirl is perfect for me.
Sascha had the Mr. Perfect thing going on, but I think he scared Jill by making her think that he was holding out on love waiting for Ms. Perfect. Hopefully, Jill will take the time to get to know a man who appears to be a real high-quality man before deciding that he must be too good to be true.
Love Jake … but does he remind anyone else of a blonde Tom Cruise? I think it might be the smile. Also LOVE Ed and Reid. Jillian really has the possibility of a Trista & Ryan ending with this group of guys … once she gets rid of Wes and Fetish.
A few things…
1. I literally got butterflies on Jilly and Kiptyn’s date! He is ADORABLE, and I thought their chemistry was really sweet and cute – even with their bad timing. And if a guy has the personality, he can definitely pull off those ears and potential balding. He’s definitely a front runner for me, along with Ed.
2. I’m really bummed to say that I just saw Monday’s preview, and it DOES sound like Ed is leaving! And Wes continues to show his sleazy side. Usually editing tries to make us like the front runners, so its interesting that this time one of them is coming off as SCUM!!! Maybe its the first time a really worthless guy made it so far. Come on Jilly!!! Wake up!!!
3. I have been trying so hard to figure out who the heck Juan reminded me of, and I finally got it! SOUL PATCH RON!!! They look alike, talk alike, and they both give you that slimey feeling that you cant quite place your finger on. So glad he is gone.
4. Jilly is way nicer than me! I would have sent Rage Dave home as soon as he started talking about my ass and grabbing at my boobs. I would have called Hare in right away to discuss the anti-rose.
Nice job Lincee, turning an otherwise boring episode into hilarity.
#107 – THANKS Shopgirl for saying what I was thinking and trying but in a much better way!!!! Everyone has their quirks!!!
Wes: “Did you think it was cheesey?”
Lincee: “Yes.”
Jillian: “I don’t know one girl who wouldn’t want that song!”
Lincee: “I know about 156 that have a different opinion. Let me direct you to my website…”
JUSSTTTTTT what i was thinking. wes is a friggin idiot. i hope his music fails miserably.
#106-Rachel-
EXACTLY. I totally agree with you that Jillian is the bad kisser.She is so awkward and strange and totally does make all those make-out sessions seem uncomfortable. That would explain she- a cute, fun girl can’t keep a man. It is very important to be good in the make-out department. She definitely needs some help.
Is it just me or does Fetish seem so guilty about something. He totallly made it up that someone told them they had a girlfriend. I think he said it in the moment and freaked out when it got out of hand and Jillian got upset. He was on edge all night and in the “sneak peak” for next week when they are sitting around talking about it, he looks totally uncomfortable again.
#107–those qualities are all superficial and I certainly wouldn’t think everyone with good superficial qualities is “too perfect”. And no, he wouldn’t be any better to me if he were a bartender, because it’s not the external things that come across as ‘too perfect” to me. I think Hare mentioned this in his blog, too–it’s that Jake always says exactly the right thing; he miraculously became “spontaneous” when she worried that he wasn’t spontaneous enough; 5 seconds after she said she was looking for a best friend then he says the same thing; he thinks Jillian could be “the one” during their first date, etc. Like I said, I think he needs to mirror who he’s with because he doesn’t know who he is and I don’t trust that and I would never feel like I could be real with him. I think this is an unfortunate thing, though, because Jake seems like a very good person to me with very good intentions, but I just don’t think he is for real.
#71- hahahahhahah…Fetish is Twilley! thank you for that! still LOL!! tears…
Ed, Reid and Robby D are toooo cute. I love the way they all interact with eachother… especially when Reid and Ed were talking about getting drunk- too funny. I wish they would show more of their interactions!
Thanks for the laugh Lincee- you are the only reason I watch this show… besides Ed.
Jesse: “In case you forgot, I won the curling competition. Want to see my trophy? It’s under my hat. I keep it with me at all times, because it reminds me that it’s good to be me.”
Cracked me slap up, Lincee.
#43… YES, YES I did! Saw that weird kiss on the head by Crazy.
Lots of weird kissing going on this season. Maybe they “will” let Tanner bring out the toes…
Y’all totally have to check out this image link below. It’s from an email I have and it totally made me think of Fetish’s future wife’s baby pics…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
http://by102w.bay102.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://64.4.61.249/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3db11af3fa-43ea-4d0d-acd2-d55f9d0b5f9b.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3dSW1hZ2UuanBn%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a4.391110352%2540web180111.mail.gq1.yahoo.com&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.202&d=d3344&mf=0&a=01_d2ad963725a21cf381fbce3e9bd65b4e7100c1c664be4c91b3d0aa9dcfc51047
Someone let me know if it works…
I’m confused…wasn’t Tanner discussing what he was going to tell Jillian before he went in there? And then, in the preview for next week on abc.com, everyone is acting like they don’t know it was Tanner. Did anyone else notice this?
Here is an interesting inteview I found with Jillian. It explains some of the goings on thus far. (I hope the link works!)
http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca/Interviews/Insider/Articles/090610_bachelorette_jillian_harris_GD
#119 – Thanks for the link Sprite! She says some disturbing things about Wes in the article, doesn’t she? Don’t think he’s going anywhere anytime soon! And the comment, “well, obviously Kiptyn is a good kisser…” LOLOL Sure didn’t look it to me!
I was never a Jillian fan during The Bachelor and this season hasn’t changed my opinion at all, she’s kind of a mess and a bit of a dull dingbat.
okay, i just watched the episode again because i have insomnia or something, but did anyone else notice how half the guys look at wes when she walks in and ends the cocktail party? and they do it again in the rose ceremony telling whoever it is to “man up”. right after ed says he doesn’t have a gf, he looks right at wes. maybe it’s just creative editing, but is jillian blind to this?? i think ROBBY D!!! (couldn’t resist) might have a gf, too. something about him was just off.
oh, and one more thing. she kept telling jake not to be perfect, but was raving about how perfect kiptynite was on their one-on-one date. interesting…
Sasha sighting! My friend went to the Benjy’s on Washington last night to celebrate her b-day and Sasha was there celebrating his b-day too! She got a picture with him…what a hottie!
I am going to hope that Ed’s saying “I had to leave” does not mean that he is leaving the show. Maybe he had to leave the hotel and get some air. Maybe he felt ill after eating a bad clam at dinner and had to leave the table. Remember all the promos in DD’s season where they made it look like she showed up at a pool party? Editing is a fun little toy they use to mess with us, and I am choosing to believe that is the tactic they are using to make us think Ed is leaving.
Clearly someone is leaving. I don’t think they would make it so obvious as to whom.
#123–LOL about the bad clam:) love it!
The bach’ette process is a difficult one, in real life if you went out with someone and had a truly awesome first date (Jake), You would keep dating until you knew him well enough to decide if he had long term potential or not. They are always on their good behavior at first, at least a slightly cleaned up version! We are usually a slightly cleaned up version too….
I think our Jill must have dated a liar in the past or someone that pretended to be someone they were not…so she is suspicious of the ones that sound and look good.
I don’t quite get all the Ed love. He seems like a normal guy, but has a very uncomfortable look on his face sometimes.
MissingMeeps says: “I think our Jill must have dated a liar in the past . . . ” Gosh, ya think? Didn’t we all watch a first class example of this on national TV, when Jilli & Jason nearly earned an R rating for The Bachelor, only to watch him dump her ass shortly thereafter?
That experience would make me cautious, even if my dating history had been otherwise blemish-free. As much as we all love the train wreck aspect of this whole thing, it’s got to be a very unsettling process, especially if you meet someone you think you might actually really really like in real life.
In short, the question: is this, or is he, for real? would seem to be a perfectly appropriate question, under the circumstances….
#123 – Remember when Jeremy came back to talk to Dee Dee? They actually did give it away in the teaser! And judging from the interview with Jilly and all of the speculation that Wes makes it far, I think it might in fact be Ed who leaves.
I think we are being led by the producers to like or not like certain guys. It’s happened before and they like to keep us guessing – that’s what makes it fun!
If they wanted us to really like Wes, they would just edit out the yucky stuff (that might not leave much in his case!)
But from the sounds of the interview that Sprite (#119) posted, it sound like she really likes Wes. Bleeeech.
junoesq #126, and Cindy #128, I agree with you. This season really seems scripted to me. Come on —Wes and Dave can’t possibly be really like they are being portrayed by the producers. I’m having a hard time believing any of them. I hope I’m wrong because I like Jillian and want her to pick a decent guy.
#130 Jammf – I can maybe agree on Wes (though I totally think he is SCUM) but Dave? You can’t deny his completely inappropriate disgusting behavior. You can’t even edit that.
I agree with CU. You might be able to leave out the good stuff and only show the smarmy stuff with Wes (and let’s face it, we just really don’t like his song and that may be coloring our judgment – we haven’t heard much of their actual conversation, which might be much better). But I agree about Dave. Either someone says “your a** looks f***ing hot in spandex” or they don’t.. .
Maybe I am old but why does Jillian have to say wicked all of the time. It is getting on my nerves. I really liked her but use another word please!!! Love Jake, hated Dave. When he sees himself on the show, I hope it opens his arrogant eyes. She did a great job getting rid of him and Juan. I would love to see Wes and freak boy go too. Looking forward to next week.
CU- I’m not denying that Dave has behaved as a dbag the entire show. I can’t stand him. I just think he’s a hired actor and not genuine guy. Isn’t there some kind of interview process these guys go through before they are picked for the show? I really can’t believe he would have passed that process without his true colors showing. JMO.
#125 MissingMeeps, yep…Jason.
I don’t think Wes is the one she ends up with, since she says he wasn’t the best kisser in the interview. Don’t think you’d want the guy you are with now to hear that. Also the part about sticking up for him til the bitter end kind of sounds more like they are friends now.
Sher – I totally agree with you. I don’t think its any of the guys she brings up in that interview…so doesn’t that leave Jesse, Mark, Reid, Michael, ROBBY D! and Ed? (I’m leaving out Tanner b/c of obvious reasons and I honestly can’t remember who else is left besides those 4, tanner and wes and kiptyn) I think Michael and ROBBY D! are too young for her.
Did you all see Crazy David’s interview on People.com? He’s a moron.
Here is the link to Dave’s interview with People magazine: http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/06/12/the-bachelorettes-dave-good-on-being-bad/
He said he faked the whole tongue-tied bit that earned him the first impression rose. And to think, people felt bad for him. That’s pretty sneaky.
You guys are right, can you believe I totally forgot about Jason! I blocked his sorry @#$ from my memory bank!
I do think they try to pick a certain character from the interviews and edit them ANY way they want. I am sure David has some good qualities. Not that I would want to date him…lol. I have friends that say waaay inappropriate stuff to get a reaction. They think they are funny, and they are but they sometimes go over the top and make everyone uncomfortable. My husband will admit he is thinking something tasteless (about my anatomy) but he knows better than to say it in front of a camera. He certainly wouldn’t have said it a couple of weeks into dating!
It is a catch 22, if you don’t say anything they can use in the show (smart but boring) they don’t show you. If you make jokes or anything they can use out of context, you come off looking like a idiot…
Found it ironic that David’s last name is Good. Sheesh… Also, what’s with talking about himself in the third person?
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#138 Claiborne – Dave Good’s interview reminds me of Denny Crane (Boston Legal) with his 3rd person speak. You simply can’t edit in his use of “T&A” when speaking to Jillian. Does he really think the viewers are idiots? I’m sure he’s a nice guy when he isn’t drinking or competing with other men for a woman’s attention. I’ve dated blue collar guys who are nothing but perfect gentlemen. What a disengenuous baboon.
#142–I totally agree. You can blame the edit for some things, but dude, you did use the T&A words to a girl you hardly know and then insinuate that she was flirting with you when she called you on it. They can’t edit that….
140 – Shopgirl Said,
Found it ironic that David’s last name is Good. Sheesh… Also, what’s with talking about himself in the third person?
I know right! Maybe he was tipsy for that interview and had to remind himself who he was talking about!
He’s still a tool! They can only edit what you GIVE THEM! He seems more full of himself than Wes – and that’s saying a lot considering that intervie wasn’t even on television! Oh and by the way Dave, because the liquor is provided doesn’t mean you HAVE to drink it! Know your limits…idiot!
Susan, I didn’t get to tell you how much I enjoyed your song last week. I hope you’re working on this week’s song before the new episode airs tonight. You make me laugh!
I am late to chime in on this one, but I just have to say — did anyone else actually think that Jillian was having FUN with Michael during curling? It seemed to me she was always laughing with him, talking to him, and hugging him — and it wasn’t all his doing. I could see how he could seem annoying, but on the other hand, I could see how she could have fun with him. My take on it was, uh oh, those other guys better watch out because Michael the Fun Guy is getting all her attention.
I like Jesse and think he’s cute. Could be some potential there. But all he could seem to talk about (in what they showed us, anyway) was how he made the stupid point in the curling match.
Fetish was definitely sweating bullets for good reason. All the guys were riled up that Jillian was falling hook, line and sinker for that douchebag Wes, and they all wanted to tell her to open her freaking eyes. Unfortunately, wanting to do so and being able to do so without looking like a douchebag yourself are two very different things. Fetish tried to find a cowardly way out by telling her in a cryptic, totally nonspecific way. He should have just done all or nothing!
And yeah, while I don’t doubt Wes did have a girlfriend (or at least 20 f— buddies) at the time, I don’t think he told the other guys. Fetish just said that because they all hate Wes. That’s why he looked like he wanted to pee himself during the “confrontation.”
It was so ridiculous after a while that had I been Jillian, I would have said, “Screw it. Fetish told me that one of you had girlfriend. Now you know who said it, so own up to it.” And then really watch the fur fly.
#146, I’m glad Fetish spoke up. My husband had the best idea. Fetish should have said, “I told, I’m out of here, ________, ________, and _________ have girlfriends. See ya!” But, alas, that did not happen. I wonder how long Jillian will keep him around to get the inside info on the guys.
I’ve been watching the previews for tonight trying to figure out who decides to leave… I’m afraid it’s Kiptynite!!! Any thoughts?
Blushing — I really hope it’s not Ed, esp. after the last commercial preview!
why ed why!!?
CYA GREENBEANERS…I’M ON A HUNT IN CHICAGO TO FIND ME SOME ED!!!!! What’s one woman’s trash is another’s treasure!
I’m heading to Chicago this weekend… with my fiance. D’oh well. Wouldn’t mind an Ed sighting anyway!