From the desk of webMAN:
Here at iHateGreenBeans.com, we aim to please. And by “we,” I mean Lincee. If I had it my way, there would be much more subterfuge going on with this “pimpin’” instead of offering up top notch prospects.
I have been friends with Lawrence for a few years now, so I thought I would provide some male perspective to this part II post. I wish the guy had a bigger “dirt-bag factor” (other than the standard male default) so I could have made this a roast, but the truth is he is a decent guy.
For example, when he destroys me in golf, he is only semi-arrogant about it. Gracias.
When we go to a hockey game, and there is a wake of women asking him what toothpaste he uses, he tosses me all of his table scraps. Generous.
And when we go to the bar, he always says, “How you do’in” to the waitresses so we get free drinks. Dis guy is swell.
I’m telling you. I recycle all of his jokes, all the time. They work. Women like the humor. If they’d all stop running from me, I’d be willing to recycle more of his stuff. Dreams.
The only satisfaction I am getting from all of this, is knowing we will have a TOUGH time with the selection process. I have reviewed the pics and profiles and WHOA! There are some amazing women that visit this site!
How you do’in?
Seriously. All of them are adorable, accomplished, and clearly courageous for taking the action of sending in their info. I will be very interested to see how this turns out.
- webMAN
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webMAN is right! It is going to be a TOUGH process sifting through the emails I’ve received. Thanks to everyone who sent in profiles and pictures. You guys are amazing!
Since we have several applicants, I’m going to implement the same strategy I used for Sergeant Cole and form a committee of friends to help decide which girls seem to be compatible with Lawrence. We are going to take submissions for one more week and then I’m going to turn over the list to Lawrence for review. That’s when I take myself out of the equation and he starts sweeping girls off their feet.
Until that time comes, I think it’s only fitting that I share a little bit more personal information about this hot tamale:
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Yes. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with me? Granted, sometimes I’d ditch myself for my cooler friends if I could.
Do you use sarcasm?
I believe that the above statement answers this question.
Have you ever bungee jumped? If no, would you?
I have not. I’d like to bungee jump and sky dive at some point.
What is your favorite smell?
Freshly cut grass
Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings
Boxers or briefs?
Boxer briefs actually
Do you have any pets?
I like pets, but currently do not have any.
All-time favorite movies that you can watch over and over again?
Shawshank Redemption. No contest at all.
Tell me about a favorite event in your childhood.
By far my ultimate childhood memory is when I thought my dad was the strongest man on earth. In Kindergarten, he bent a piece of pipe with his bare hands and I thought the world of that.
What is your life motto?
If it’s attainable, reach for it, grab it and hold on. Don’t give up.
Who has had the most influence in your life?
No one person in particular. I learn from my mistakes and flourish from others. I take a piece of each person I meet with me, regardless of how long you are in my life for.
What do you think you will be doing five years from now?
Hopefully I’ll be a little more successful and have someone in my life that I know I can count on day in and day out. I honestly, just hope that I am happy and blessed with great friends and great family.
Morning or night person?
I am definitely an evening person. If I can get away with sleeping in an extra 10-15 minutes I will. Good thing I am allowed to get to work when I do.
Country or city?
City to live. Country to visit. Who doesn’t like a nice quite relaxing couple of days?
What cartoon character best describes you?
Curios George. I’m always getting into trouble. As much as the man with the yellow hat tells me not to do something, I don’t learn until I’ve tried it for myself.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Maui
What are your religious beliefs?
Raised Baptist, but I’m not an active member of any church. I am not against religion. I just don’t practice it on a regular basis.
Brothers or sisters?
I have two wonderful sisters that I love very much. The three of us are very different, but get along very well. I would do just about anything for either one of them.
So why aren’t you dating Lincee? I hear she is the greatest thing since sliced bread and the iPod.
As much as we both know how magical it would be, being friends is the best thing for us. If we were dating, then how could she “pimp” me out on her lovely blog?
OKAY…THIS answer makes me wish I lived in Texas to apply!!!!
“All-time favorite movies that you can watch over and over again?
Shawshank Redemption. No contest at all.”
All kinds of awesome!!!! Let me know if this pimpin out doesn’t work at all – although I doubt that – I’ll start making plans to move!!!!
I am not applying, as I am old enough to be Lawrence’s…much older sister…or aunt…or whatever. I couldn’t help but leave a note, though, because I realized that I’m married to a 43-year-old version of Lawrence. (Please see his answers regarding Curious George and being a night person/getting to work.) I am NOT as old as my husband, though, and — God love him — he still tells people I’m 29.
Good luck, Lawrence. Sounds like you’re a great catch! I hope you find a nice, preferably Southern, girl!
Anyone think webman’s description kind of makes him sound like a player? I’m sure webman meant no harm by his comments, but that description is kind of how you would describe this guy to another dude, not to potential ladies who might be interested. Just my two cents.
Ehhhh…..pull the stick out of your butt!!! I’m a girl, but from what I know of guys that is pretty much their way of giving each other props. Lawrence is single, decent looking and they’re having fun with it. Lighten up.
Thank you Koca. Despite the pub Lawrence’s is getting for the teeth and eyes, his best trait is his sense of humor. If someone doesn’t have a sense of humor, or is overly sensitive/serious, I personally don’t see it working out, but what do I know? Hopefully my fwd filters out these types though. That would be a nice bonus.
To Ehhhh, I was just trying to provide a little light hearted humor to an already serious post/thread/topic. This isn’t match dot com.
Ahhhhh – Shawshank. It’s in a 3-way tie with Grosse Pointe Blank and The Princess Bride. I know, different genre’s, but all equally enjoyable. Good luck being pimped!
So – If I wasn’t married – i think this guy would be my soul mate! Hahaha. He sounds like an awesome guy. good job web-man!!!
WebMAN, I just think most women to not want to hear the term “leftovers” in regard to their friends/other women/competition! LOL
Can’t live without humor!
whoops! Sorry, webMAN, I meant “table scraps” not leftovers! ROFL
WHy or why can this man not live in St. Louis??????
That should say WHY OH WHY
I have to agree why don’t I live in Texas? Between the movie selection, TV shows(Californication, How I met your mother?), NHL dream, beach over mountains and ‘the Make Believe not War’ shirt – he seems like such a catch! Good Luck everyone
)
ahh that should be a smiley face
Oh Lare…. if I lived in TX, I would have applied
Move to Atlanta or fly me to Dallas?
Are those options? Come on Lincee- give us some men in Atlanta.
“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Maui.”
Heart.
Ladies, Lawrence here has FABULOUS taste.
Maui No Ka Oi!
Lincee please pimp out Ed from Bach when Jilly ditches him. He is too cute.
I’m married but…..Shawshank Redeption…..makes my heart swoon “I hope the beaches are white, I hope the ocean is blue, I hope my friend is there waiting for me, I hope…..” makes me cry every time.
This man must be a keeper.
wes is king of the d-bags.
Well said Ashley, well said. My mouth was hanging open during his limo ride – wow his family must be proud. Can we all boycott his cheeze-azz cd please?
Not only do I list Shawshank in my top 5 movies of all time, but I live in Hawaii! Not on Maui, but on Kauai, which is even better! If Lawrence is at all interested in a 40 year old divorced mom, I’d be more than happy to provide him with a place to stay on Kauai while he decides whether or not he likes it there better than he likes Maui!
Ummm Lindsey…do you offer your “pimpin services” for women too???? Could use a good man in the Indy area…
I like Cath’s idea, except instead of pimping Ed, pimp REID when Jillian ditches him! He is beyond adorable and cute! Cath–you can keep Ed! perrrrrrfect!
Hey! Love your blog..hate to say I haven’t been watching Jillian’s go at the rose so I havent’ been checking your blog as much lately but I did stumble upon it today and I’m loving this dating thing! Lawrence seems like such a catch – I wish I lived in Dallas or that you knew someone like that in Houston for me! I can’t wait to see how this turns out!
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