iHateGreenBeans

Meet Lincee. SWF, with big boobs (I can say that, we are friends), ocean blue/green eyes, and a sense of humor that is off the chains. To delve deeper into what makes Lincee tick, I gave her 20 questions so we can find out more about her and what she is looking for in a man. I will interject some added insight, where needed, because I am obtrusive like that. Let’s get started, shall we?

1. The fans all know about your epic sense of humor, but tell us some stats such as your age, height, eye color, and hair color.

Age:  33
Height:  5’2
Eye color:  Mostly green
Hair color:  Brunette

2. Describe the type of man you looking for (use bullet form).

• Loves the Lord
• Has a natural ability to make people laugh
• Hard working and dedicated to his responsibilities in life
• Confident but not cocky
• Polite and gentlemanly (I refuse to believe that chivalry is dead)
• Physically fit
• Conversationalist:  I love witty banter
• Someone who trusts that I’m a better woman as a result of my divorce (cheaters need not apply)

3. You lead an interesting life.  Name some of the places you have experienced in your travels so we can encapsulate your adventurous side.

• I was greeted by 50 Mexicans as my personnel basket swung me from a tug boat and plopped me in the middle of the deck on Rig 660 in Gulf.
• I ate questionable deli meat in the Ukraine that I later learned was donkey tongue.
• I was baptized in the Jordan River in Israel.
• I rode a camel named ZaZa in Petra.
• I was pulled aside in a little room at the Bogota Colombian airport because the police thought I was smuggling in pirated DVDs.
• I held a bedpan so my friend could throw up in a hospital in QBA.
• I zip lined through the jungle in Costa Rica.
• I tried to sneak in to the Burj Al Arab Hotel in Dubai, but chickened out at the last minute and settled for a photo outside the gates.

4. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

One can’t help but notice physical build at first.  I also notice eyes and his smile.  Do they appear happy and joyful and in love with life?  Is he a hugger?  Is he respectful?  Does he make me laugh?  I’m a sucker for a good old boy too.

5. What would you consider your best trait?

I have a nurturing side that always seems to lead me in the direction of helping others.  I have a strict policy to never let anyone cry alone and I can make a mean banana pudding.

(WebMAN Interjection): Lincee is, by far, one of the most trustworthy, unselfish, and reliable people I have ever met in my life.  You can count on her for anything.  I am reminded of a survey, in the book The Millionarie Next Door, where they surveyed the affluent on what is the most important trait in a partner, and hands down “someone you can rely on/trust” was number one.  That is Lincee.  There could be no other answer to this question.

6. Describe an ideal first date.

My first reaction will probably be, “YES!  I’M GOING ON A DATE!”  But I know that’s not the point of this exercise.  I love digging deep and finding out about people and that is best executed with a bowl of queso and a basket of chips in front of me.  I would never turn down a meal unless it was sushi.  I also love going to the movies, the theater, listening to live music and if you know how to spin me around the dance floor…or the living room…or a parking lot…I’m putty in your hands.  I enjoy college football and $1 hot dog night at the baseball field in the cheap seats.  I also love driving in a car with the windows rolled down listening to music while drinking a Sonic Route 44 Dr Pepper.

7. What type of music do you like/listen to?

I’m not exaggerating when I say that I love most music genres.  Heavy metal and gangster rap are probably not high up on my list.  My music is generally directed by my mood.  I love pop, classic country and boy bands.  I love Broadway, crooners and classical.  I love 80s, Disney and church hymns.  I love alternative, folk and acoustic.  Music feeds my soul.

8. Name some of your favorite movies.

It’s as if you asked me to name a favorite child:

• Favorite all time:  Pride and Prejudice
• Favorite classic:  Gone with the Wind
• Favorite musical:  Singing in the Rain and Newsies
• Favorite chick flick:  The Notebook
• Favorite 80s movie:  Girls Just Want To Have Fun and 16 Candles
• Favorite epic:  Star Wars Trilogy
• Favorite animation:  Sleeping Beauty and The Incredibles
• Favorite one-liners:  Princess Bride
• Favorite cult classic:  Dazed and Confused
• Favorite dance movie:  Urban Cowboy and Center Stage
• Movie I’m too old for:  Harry Potter Series
• Movie I’m embarrassed to admit I own:  The Pirate Movie
• Movie I don’t own but secretly wish I owned:  High School Musical: Senior Year
• Movie I cry when I watch:  Rudy
• Movie I fast forward to the good parts:  Big Business

9. Name some of your favorite TV shows besides that lame Bachelor show.

I love The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, Ugly Betty, Arrested Development, Project Runway, 30 Rock and that show where the guy makes the phenomenal cakes in the shape of mustangs and pigs flying.

10. What is your job?  Your title?  What is a typical day for you?

I am the Public Relations Manager for a marketing firm.  A typical day consists of me trying to pimp out rigs and subsea trees to the oil and gas trade media.  I also write seven different internal newsletters for my clients.

11. What are your religious beliefs?

I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.  He is a big part of my life and I need a man who both understands and embraces this fact in his own life.

12. Where are you from originally?  Where do you live now?

I’m from Hallsville, Texas (population 1,556) and am related to most everyone in the tiny town.  I was first runner-up in the Miss Hallsville pageant in 1994.  I think I lost because I told the judges that my life-long goal was to work at Disney World.  If I knew their names, I would have sent them a post card from Magic Kingdom four years later when I was ACCOMPLISHING MY LIFE-LONG GOAL.  After living in Florida, Waco and Dallas and I now reside in Houston, Texas.

13. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

I’m a reader.  I love Half-Priced books.  I typically read about 30 books a year.  I love watching shows on my DVR because I can do that on my own time.  I believe DVR is the best invention EVER next to the iPod and toaster oven.  I like to spend time with friends.  I like to cross items off my to-do list.  I love to swim and frolic on the beach in my string bikini.

14. What type of foods do you like/hate?

I pretty much stick to anything white or yellow.  I stay away from green and orange.  Unless the orange is candy corn.  I’m addicted to holiday sweets.  That’s why October is so exciting for me…the stores gear up for several months of seasonal candy.  You have Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter all together.  I love Mexican food and often enjoy a good old fashioned steak and potatoes.  I don’t eat anything crustaceous or meat off the bone.  Because let’s face it…that just reminds me of cannibalism.

15. Do you have a special talent or stupid human trick?

Take your pick:  I can, and have been able to since I was five-years-old, say the ABCs backwards.  I can talk like I am stuck in a closet.  And I have a pretty impressive whistle that often turns the heads of many a young man, as well as all the dogs within a one-mile radius.  I know more Disney trivia than will ever be needed in a normal adult life and can pop my hip and thumb in and out of socket.

16. Where did you go to college?

Baylor University.  Sic ‘em Bears.

17. What do you think you will be doing five years from now?

Probably in a coffee shop somewhere writing notes for my future best-selling novel on the back of a napkin.

18. Since people will ask, why aren’t you and WebMAN dating?  Is it because he hijacks your website or because he is a jerk in general?

We are long-time friends.  He is dating other people. And he couldn’t handle me.

So how do you send candidates and where?

The most popular format is to have the prospect answer the same questions.  However, writing up a quick profile is also another good option.  Whatever format you choose, please include at least one picture (the more the better) and Click Here to send them.  On Friday, I will also be submitting a second post with descriptions of Lincee from her best friend and sister.

Kickin’ it on Veradero Beach in Quoobah. 

Not bad, huh?

Two weeks ago, I went on a mission trip to the island.  The picture above is from our fun day at the beach.  But the majority of our time was spent at a camp for high school kids. 

As you can imagine, communist countries do not tolerate Christian-based organizations.  The individuals running the camps risk their lives to bring these kids together each summer.  I was told that the government runs periodic Internet searches to see what bloggers like me are writing about their country.  Naturally, I will not be naming the organization and will mis-spell the island’s name throughout this post. 

I’m sneaky like that.

And now I will share with you the top four lessons I learned while in Quoobah.  I will do it David Letterman style, because you guys know how much I love my lists:

4.  Be thankful for the small stuff in life. 

Before visiting this beautiful island, I don’t think I had ever been thankful for toilet seats.  Moreover, I don’t think I had ever been thankful for the ability to FLUSH the toilet.  I’ve been to countries in which your morning shower was ice cold, but I had never thought to be grateful that water is actually coming out of the shower head.  These are thoughts that entered my head every time I used the bathroom.

Here’s a picture of our toilet. 

As you can see, there is no seat.  Totally manageable.  And it flushed.  PTL!  Sure you have to approach the toilet like you are scooting inside a booth at a restaurant due to the fact that the sink is over said bowl, but you are reminded that IT FLUSHES and you quickly get over it. 

Here’s a picture of me eating pizza. 

Notice…it came out of a plastic bag.  We were SO HUNGRY that day, that I didn’t care that my cheese pizza was coming from a street vendor in a plastic bag.  I’ve never been so thankful for pizza. 

On a serious note, I’m thankful that I have the freedom to pray and worship however and whenever I want.  These kids have to be a bit more careful.  But when you put them in a group of other believers in a secure location…

it’s awe-inspiring.  I love the kid in this picture. 

3.  There are no language barriers with God.

Anyone can relate to music.

A borrowed soccer ball can entertain for hours.

2.  A servant’s heart can be used in ways you may not have expected.

Our purpose on this mission trip was to provide the staff of the organization with extra hands, arms, words, hugs and general encouragement.  There were 300 kids at this camp and 10 staff members.  Our extra 15 bodies came in handy for small groups, fun time and organization of activities.

However, on day two, three of our key people were struck with what can only be described as the mother of all food poisoning incidents.  That toilet/sink combo sort of came in handy…I’m just saying. 

Of course we weren’t going to send our fellow team members off to the Quooban hospital by themselves.  Two of us went along to offer moral support.

That morning, I had thought about what a priviledge it is to wake up every day with nothing more to do than to serve others.  There was no Blackberry, no website, no article to create, no newsletter to write…only my services to give.  I prayed that God would use me mightily on the island.

I didn’t know that holding a bucket as my friend threw up was how He would choose to use me on the trip.  It was almost comical as I followed my other friend to the bathroom (with no toilet seat) holding her saline drip to think about how the Lord gifted me with a merciful heart and THIS is exactly where I was supposed to be…not praciticing my Spanish on innocent school girls, trying to have a conversation about Twilight and if they are Team Jacob or Team Edward. 

1.  God is moving mountains in this place.

These kids traveled many hours to get to the small town where the camp was located.  Some were packed in the back of trucks, where they had to stand the entire time.  The facility was less-than-stellar, but you never heard a complaint from one of them.  Not one.  The girls were in dormitories that held about nine bunk beds.  There were two girls to one twin bed.  The boys slept on mattresses in the sanctuary.  Our staff of 15 slept in one room together in one long line of bodies.

And did I mention there was one bathroom for the girls and one bathroom for the boys?  That’s two toilets for around 350 people. 

But these kids could care less.  They were mezmorized by the talks.  They were active in the small groups.  They were not ashamed to worship and they were proud to carry their Bibles and eager to learn anything they could.

God is moving mountains in this place and it was a joy to wintess first-hand. 

We are so blessed to live in a country where we can pray when we want.  Sing hymns when we want.  Gather together to study the Bible in groups.  Read a blog about mission trips…or even make the decision to stop reading a blog because the subject is about mission trips. 

And we are blessed that our toilets have seats and our pizza comes in boxes.  PTL indeed!