I had an idea to write this post when a friend of mine sent me an email this morning. Let me set it up for you:
David and I are PowerPoint “co-captains” at church and I recently asked him for his September schedule so I could figure out who we need to bring up from JV while we are away doing various activities this semester.
He was quick to respond with all the dates in the fall that he will not be able to serve. There was a wedding. Texas Tech vs. A&M football weekend. And this little nugget on September 6…
World Championship BBQ Goat Cook-Off.
Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen those words connected together before in my life. One might think that I would go off on some sarcastic tangent, but coming from a girl who is scheduling her pending knee surgery around Hallsville Western Days’ Civil War Re-Enactment…well…you all know that this Goat BBQ Championship thing sounds all sorts of AWESOME to me. Let’s hope DQ takes pictures and sends in a report on who wins the big prize.
I’d blog about it. I’m just saying.
The goat championship BBQ sentence did tickle me though. I started to think about all the random things I had heard on the phone, or read in an email/text or heard from friends and family the last week. I have to say, I lead a pretty interesting life. Or I surround myself with crazies. Probably a mixture of both.
Example #1:
My friend Jill has a 16-month old little boy. The other day we were on the phone and I heard this: “No…no Sam…Sam…no…SAM! Lincee I have to go. Sam’s eating dog food.”
Not your typical run-of-the-mill sentence that acurately describes your kid’s diet.
Example #2:
My other friend Rebecca has a brand new baby. I hear her three-year-old in the background: “Mommy! Baby Sam needs you!”
What is wrong with that sentence you ask? Yes…it is very normal. However, the baby’s name is not Sam. The three-year-old has named him Sam because the only other boy baby he has known is Jill’s Sam. It’s been five days now. The siblings are still calling him Sam. The parents call him by his real name. My Mom used to call the dog’s name when she was yelling for me. I think this family is going to be okay.
Example #3
My Mom and I are watching the traveling Broadway production of Mamma Mia this past weekend in Dallas. When the curtain rises, we find Sophie on the Greek island singing to herself about how she has a dream. Mom leans over and says, “Why is her hair red?” I look at her funny and she says, “It’s supposed to be blond.”
I explain to her that this isn’t Cinderella and that she needs to get over it. Different actors play different characters on the stage. Sophie’s hair color means nothing to the story line. She rolled her eyes and was bitter for the rest of the show.
Example #4
I was on the phone with Sergeant Cole last night (yes he’s back!) and he is telling me how he got from Iraq to the US. In the middle of a very dramatic moment, I hear a bugle playing in the background. He pauses and says, “Let me call you back. They are lowering the flag.”
Oh how that warms my heart! God bless the USA!
Example # 5
I drove in from Dallas on Saturday night and arrived back at my apartment around 1:30 in the morning. I fell asleep immediately and woke up a few hours later to my phone ringing. As you can imagine, there is a split second that is a mixture of figuring out where the weird noise is coming from, trying to find my phone and registering who is on the other side, because nothing good can come from a 3:00 a.m. phone call.
It was my boss. Who is currently in the Middle East.
I click the green button and yell “HELLO?” about 30 times. Nothing. I get panicky and start wondering if he is in trouble or stuck in a holding cell at an airport or in JAIL! I text as fast as my fingers could fly and wait for the familiar BING to answer me back.
BING! “I forgot it is 3:00 AM in Houston. Going to tell you about rig in Oman. Sorry to disturb you. Go back to bed.”
Don’t you think that merits a free personal day? One that corresponds with the World Championship BBQ Goat Cook-Off maybe?
AWESOME!!! HILARIOUS! Thanks for sharing!
Yeahhhh to Sergeant Cole making it back safely!!! GREAT!!!
Today I was on the phone with my cousin, a mother of two preschoolers. Suddenly, she says, “Well, I better get off the phone. Grant is putting pirates down my shirt.”
I’ve heard of the Goat cook-off in Brady… what’s even worse though, is that it doesn’t look odd to me anymore at all! Ha! One of my favorite bands, Wade Bowen, will be playing there on Saturday…
Thanks for always making me laugh!
And thanks Sgt. Cole for your service – VERY glad you’re home safely!
One of the funniest things I heard recently was when I was visiting a friend in another state. I was waiting on her to get her kids ready to go to the beach. She finally came outside and said, “Sorry we are running late. Jake was seeing Jesus on the bathroom floor.”
Oh, to lead the life you lead. I don’t want anything to do with a goat cook off. Sad, just sad. Thanks for the smiles… You are one in a million Lincee.
you lead a very interesting life. and i LOVE mama mia. LOVE IT! i fall asleep to that or sex in the city almost nightly. LOVE it. the red hair would have bothered me too!!
Here is my random thought, the one that keeps going through my mind…..You were in Dallas last weekend and we didn’t meet for cocktails???
“Baby Sam” and I love this blog
Those were great! Especially your mom’s annoyance at the redhead-made me laugh.
And yes, you do deserve a free personal day because NO ONE should call before 9 am
unless it’s an emergency.
Haha that reminds me of the time I told my (then) 2 year old son, “Son, stop licking the dog” It was a time stopping moment after I said it as I thought “Did I REALLY just say that?” Who in the world gets an opportunity to say such a funny phrase like that!??!
Cooking Goats and Wade Bowen! I’m so there! Ok, I’m really not going to be there because I live in Chicago, but I would totally go to something like that.
So funny. do more of these!!
I am laughing so hard, I am crying……
Lincee, you do indeed lead a very interesting life. I want to be you when i grow up. I have a three- and six-year-old and will pay closer attention to the admonitions I give them, because I *know* I have said some crazy things to get them to stop some behavior or another.
My parents are certified Kansas City Barbeque Society (KCBS) BBQ judges. I will have to tell them to be on the lookout for goat BBQs, cause I would so go to one with them. How delightfully weird that would be. I say you should attend just to see the other wild and crazy random people who attend.
And, yes, like others have said, thank you to Sgt Cole for his dedication and service. And praise God he and his unit are home safe and sound.
Oh, BTW, when are we going to learn the secret to losing 27 pounds in 30 days? My ever widening backside could use this info!
Yes, you should absolutely be given a comp day for your 3am wake-up. What was your boss thinking???
So funny. Reminds me of what my son said the other day. After trying a cheeseburger made at one of those little mom & pop diners, he said “it was so good it was like Jesus made it!”
#11 heidi – How’d the heck did I miss you were in Chi-town too!?!?!?! Lincee…bringing fellow Chicagoans together!
#10 – L – EWWWW!!! lol HILARIOUS! How you got that sentence out without cracking up at first is impressive!
I have two nephews and they are always giving me something to giggle about.
About 2 years ago my brother and sis-in-law were starting to take Jackson to Church and he was learning all about the baby Jesus. I guess he got it in his mind that there just is not anything better than Jesus so one night we were eating some casserole his dad had made and I asked him…”Jackson is it like heaven in your mouth?” And he very demonstratively said…”No Aunt True. It’s like JESUS in my mouth!” I nearly fell off my chair.
Then this past summer my mom was keeping both boys and the youngest is now 2. We were just chatting about paint colors for my home office when all of a sudden I hear her go…”Oh no. Oh God. Oh no! LAWSON! NO! NO!” and then “Oh God. True…I’m gonna have to go. Lawson just flushed a whole roll of toilet paper.” Babys + toilets + flushing anything = Auntie True rolling on the floor.
OMG- I just watched Mamma Mia for the first time today- got it on my netflix. So GOOD! I love that it has a sing-a-long section.
Exciting News- I’m going to DragonCon this weekend (I live in Atlanta). For all of you who dont know, that is the SciFi/Fantasy convention. I’m so excited to meet Tom Felton!! Draco Malfoy in the Flesh people!!!! I am going to try to an autograph and get a pic- will definitely be sending it to you Lincee if it works out! Wish me luck! Also looking forward to seeing Terry Gilliam and Ianto from Torchwood, one of my fav BBC shows.
Once I was sitting in a very quiet waiting room with my son who was about 7. Suddenly he makes this weird (and loud!) *gak* sound. Everyone turns to look at us and he says, “HAIR BALL”. That just cracked me up!
Oooh Oooh! I have one!
I was going to school in Dallas, and my sister was going to be on a business trip there and we agreed to have lunch. She is in marketing and was having a few meetings in the city. I called her in the morning to finalize a when and wear. She had gotten to her meeting location a little early. This is the conversation that followed:
Me: Hey
Sister: Hey!
Me: What are you doing?
Sister: Oh, I’m just in the car plucking my eyebrows outside Frito Lay.
I don’t think anyone has ever said that sentence before.
WHERE** when and WHERE!!! Clearly I have Friday brain!
Just TODAY I said the following two things to my daughter… “I’ve told you 3 times to quit letting the dog lick you in the mouth” and a few hours later said “please quit licking my leg”… I can only imagine what I’ve said the other 10 years to her older brothers before this blog made me aware of my mutterings.
….. and I’ve got to figure out my daughter’s deal with licking. This could be a problem when she’s older than 5. ack.
Hahaha, all those stories make me laugh
I have a 6 year old niece and a 2 year old niece (both children from different siblings) and they always say funny things! I was in my hometown with the both of them this summer, and me and my sister-in-law were making a pumpkin pie and the 2 year old was sitting in her high chair watching us, and she reached over to the container of brown sugar and said “ticka, ticka” (tickle, tickle), well I fell over from laughing so hard! Then one day while I was babysitting her, we went into town, and were wondering around a few of the stores, and saw a pig ice cream scoop, and she started oinking when she saw it, as I had been teaching her how to snort like a pig all summer, it was so cute. My 6 year old niece also has relationships all figured out, why date someone if they don’t plan on marrying you! Hahaha, I love ‘em to bits 
So funny that Lincee would blog about this- my friend just started a twitter account specifically for our “out of context” lines. It is HILARIOUS to go back and read what we like to call “quote of the day”. If you’re bored, check out the link- but warning, NOT as PG-13 as what Lincee blogs about! haha.
BTW Lincee, Pimpin’ update on Lawrence and yourself madame! You’ve been awfully quiet!
Actually, I know about the Goat cook-off. I had a friend in college from Brady, Texas. He would drive caravans of friends down for it every year. It is a very big deal apparently.
They mainly barbeque the goat meat, as I understand it. However, there is also chicken, ham and beef. Its a huge area-wide festival of eating meat. (TEXAS style)
The fam and I were driving back from the deer lease this weekend and went past the BBQ Goat Cook-off sign in Brady. Then, every sign we passed said “We have goat”, “Save the goat”…etc…etc. It was very random!
you should check out the Wild Hog Wrestling World Championship in Sabinal, Texas. It’s hysterical!
I’m proud to say that I have actually been to the Goat Cook-off in Brady(got the t-shirt to prove it too), and it was a BLAST. I went with one of my girlfriends in college who was from Brady. The whole thing was full-on– goat tasting (these guys are good. I actually liked ALL of the samples I tasted), arts and crafts, a street dance, the works. It was FABULOUS. Never forget it!
PS- Renee (#3), also love Wade Bowen! I’m sad I missed it this year just because he was there!
Texas festival to check out next? The One Arm Dove Hunt in Olney. No joke. http://www.onearmdovehunt.com/
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