Sep
29
Posted by Lincee

A night on the kitchen floor

As you know, I had knee surgery a little over a week ago.  It was preparation for the big ACL reconstruction coming up in December.  I’m feeling pretty good, but was glad to go to the doctor on Friday to ask a few questions regarding some concerns.

1.  I have shooting pain that jerks my knee.  Is this normal?

2.  The Vicodin is making me loopy and very aware of my moving my lips and blinking my eyes.  Can I switch to Motrin or some other regular pain relief?

3.  My bandages are pretty gross and bloody.  Can we clean them up and submerge the knee in water yet?

All valid questions if you ask me. 

My nurse Christine was quick to put me at ease.  She told me it was okay to stop taking Vicodin, but I would hurt because the shooting pain I feel is actually from the bone grafting of my ACL tunnels. 

Nice.  It’s better than waking up from a drug-induced stupor wondering how long I’ve been starring at my computer screen that has a half-written article on Rig SVII in India.

She told me I could take a bath (woo hoo!) and that she would re-dress my incision.  The yuck bandages came off and new clean ones were applied.  Oh happy day!  I then asked her about the stitches:

Me:  What am I supposed to do about the stitches?

Her:  Oh sweetie.  There are no stitches for you to worry about.  They are in the inside of your incision.  They will dissolve.

Me:  But what if they don’t?

Her:  Ha, ha, ha, ha…silly girl.

Me:  No seriously.  They didn’t dissolve last time.

Her:  What?  Did you tell the doctor that?

Me:  Yep.  He told me it had been 10 years since my last ACL and that times had changed and not to worry.

Her:  Well then…don’t worry.  But if you see a stitch…DO NOT PULL IT!  Just snip it with scissors and call us.

Me:  Right-o!

I never say right-o. 

Fast forward to last night.  I’ve just woken up from sleeping on the couch and decided it was time to move to the bed.  (Did I mention Vicodin makes me very, very tired?)  My knee was pretty sore, so I decided to soak in a hot bath.  I was shaving my legs (is this too much info?) when I saw it…

What appeared to be fishing line sticking up out of the end of my incision. 

I KNEW IT!  I TOLD YOU SO DOCTOR!  I AM THE FREAK WHO IS GOING TO BE IN THE MEDICAL JOURNALS. 

I get out of the bath and hoist my leg up on the bathroom counter top for a better look.  Yep.  The stitch is now curled.  Great.  I decide pull the stitch taught so I can snip it.  However, when I pull the stitch taught, about two inches of stitch raises from the wound like I’m pulling dental floss. 

Needless to say, I became squeemish. 

I slowly lower my leg and close my eyes.  I kept thinking, “I’ve got to snip it.  SNIP THE STITCH WOMAN!  WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?”

Naturally, the scissors were not in their appropriate place.  I was walking gingerly around my apartment, trying not to hurl, while desperately trying to find any scissors. 

Finally, I remember that there are some in the wooden block thing that holds all the fancy knives I never use in the kitchen.  I begin to make my way there when I feel it…the wispy fishing line has brushed my leg.

Must.  Find.  Scissors.

For the second time in 10 minutes, I hoist my leg up on the kitchen counter and force myself to just power through this minor medical emergency.  I hold…not pull…the string…and snip. 

Then my legs sort of went a bit weak and I find myself getting really hot.

I sort of slide down the general area of the stove/dishwasher and sit on the floor with my head wanting to go between my legs, but my right leg can’t really bend that way now.  So I’ve propped my clammy face on my left knee and when I feel the claminess, I become more nauseated. 

So I lay down on the floor of my kitchen.  I saw a dehydrated grape and a lone Cheerio.  Made a note to self to take care of that once I regained consciousness and closed my eyes for I don’t know how long. 

Slowly and surely I got up off the floor and headed to my bed where I texted four people what had just happened:

WebMAN’s response:  Hahahahahahaha.  Gross.

Elliott:  Don’t die.

Rebecca:  Yuck

Jill:  I think I just threw up for you. 

It’s nice to know that these friends would be at my beckon call if needed in an emergency. 

This morning, I called the doctor’s office and asked to speak with my friend Christine.  Sadly, my doctor’s office is really particular about when a patient calls in to ask a question.  The phone responder rarely likes to give messages, thinking that he/she can answer the question without bothering the busy nurses.

Lincee:  I need to speak with Christine please.

Nurse:  Sure honey.  Is there anything I can help you with?

Lincee:  Nope.  Just need to talk to her.

Nurse:  May I tell her what this is in regards to?

Lincee:  My stitches.

Nurse:  What’s wrong with your stitches honey?

Lincee:  They are coming out.

Nurse:  Ooohh girl!  Hold on.

The nurse forgets to put me on hold.  Therefore, I hear THIS entire conversation:

Phone Girl:  Hey.  There’s a girl on the phone that says her stitches are coming out!

Other Voice:  When was her surgery?

Lincee (yelling through the phone):  LAST FRIDAY!

Phone Girl:  Last Friday.

Other Voice:  Was it a knee surgery?

Lincee (yelling through phone):  YES!

Phone Girl:  Um.  Let me look.  I don’t know.  Bone grafting? ACL tunnels?   

Other Voice:  Then her stitches are not on the outside.  Tell her that.  They are on the inside.  She doesn’t come in to have them taken out they dissolve.

Then they laugh at me.  THEY LAUGH  AT THE MEDICAL JOURNAL MIRACLE!

Phone Girl:  Um…Miss Ray?  Yeah…you’re stitches are on the inside.  They dissolve.

Lincee:  Clearly not since I pulled a long string the size of my arm out last night and there is MORE poking out this morning that I just snipped with my handy yellow office scissors.  Now I’m telling you, as I told the doctor and Christine, that dissolvable stitches don’t dissolve in my freak body.  I need to know if I’m snipping stitches that are no longer holding anything together and bone grafting material is going to start oozing out of my wound, because I’d kinda like to know in advance how to handle THAT situation!

Phone Girl:  Let me send you to scheduling and have Christine call you.

Lincee:  Thanks.

My appointment is for tomorrow afternoon.  Haven’t heard from Christine.

To be continued…

Tags:
  1. Ear Said,

    GIRL! OMG! You had me squeamish…my own knees are weak even reading that story! I hope you heal VERY quickly. Can’t wait for part 2. Hope it’s very good news.

  2. Coltsfan Said,

    This happened to my husband when he had his vasectomy. Nuff said?

  3. Nance Said,

    i was hanging on your every word. looking forward to reading part 2. hope it is good news.

  4. RC Said,

    Oh girl, I had the SAME thing happen when I had a laparascopy – I hear you on being freaked out by this, my “dissolvable stitch” (HA!) stuck out near my belly button and in my Percocet induced haze, I was convinced my insides were coming out! Good luck!

  5. adriana Said,

    Oh that sucks! I had a similar thing happen – I had “dissolvable” stitches in my mouth and they STILL didn’t dissolve! They just fell out and were all grossly floating around my mouth. Not cool. The DR said it was pretty normal, but I don’t know…

  6. Erin Said,

    Laughing and wanting to hurl all at the same time! Good luck with the appointment!

  7. jen Said,

    ugh. yet funny. but ugh!

  8. SGT PANDA Said,

    Doctors are wonderful. I had a doctor in the Marines (navy doc, since jarheads technically have no medical personel) tell me that I had “tendonitis” in my foot and gave me shot after shot of cortisone/lidocaine injections.

    Yeah…funny story – I went home on leave and let a real doctor see it and 6 days later had emergency surgery to remove a necrotic sesamoid bone. Would have developed gangrene (sp?) eventually and I would be hoping around on one foot.

    Moral of the story – for all you knuckleheads, liberals, and commies…ok, that is all kind of the same group…anyways if you guys think the government can provide adequate health care to 300 million, just look at the healthcare the 1.1 million on active duty in the military get. If we can’t get decent care, what do you think you’ll get? We have rifles and ammo too.

  9. anonwife Said,

    SGT Panda, First let me say thank you for your service and I’m glad you got your foot eventually treated properly. However, PLEASE do not lump all military docs together. I happen to be married to one, and trust me, he works his tail off to provide excellent care to his (many) patients. It’s unfortunate that you had a bad experience, but your comments may lead others to believe that ALL military health care is sub-par. They are offensive to those who are serving their country by providing health care to active duty members and their families. If you’ve ever been downrange, I’m sure you were glad that those providers were there! Whatever your personal opinion is on Ntl health care, I doubt Lincee’s readers come here to read and/or debate about it.

    Hope your knee is better soon Lincee, and God bless!

  10. MT Nest Said,

    I had to have bone grafting after my ACL repair failed THREE TIMES because the dr. I went to had drilled the bone tunnels out of alignment, so I feel for you.

    I am also one of those whose body does not react normally to ‘dissolvable’ sutures. They usually use Vicryl, but my body reacts to the chemicals used in Vicryl. I have had several surgeries to remove the debris to prove it.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  11. Chris Said,

    OMG Lincee I was laughing my head off reading this. I am so sorry for all you are going through. I hope you get some answers for sure. I am a ortho nurse not working right now but I am thinking this is not right at all with the stitches. Demand answers!

    Get better we miss you!

  12. Sarah Said,

    Dissolvable stitches do not dissolve in my freak body either! So glad to know I’m not alone. Mine are always on little moles they’ve removed, and usually somewhere visable to the general public. It’s fantastic. Not. I pull them out. The first one I pulled I ended up taping to a magnet on the fridge so I could prove to people I wasn’t losing my mind when I told the story. :) It’s gone now, but for a long time that visual evidence was really important to my sanity.

  13. Wiz Said,

    I think I almost fainted reading that. I can’t imagine going through it! I totally would have passed out right there in the kitchen. Way to be strong :)

  14. LP Said,

    Oh, Lincee, I could not stop l laughing! Even with a ridiculous situation like protruding stitches and the potential for knee ooze, you tell it so, so well.

  15. Aja Said,

    OMG, I almost threw up twice and passed out while reading this! I’m so sorry, this sounds awful! But you’re too funny. :)

  16. tammy Said,

    Girl that is SO not funny- but funny at the same time! :/ I hope u get better VERY soon!

  17. terri Said,

    1. I hope you get better and that the next surgery goes well. Maybe Christine needs to read your blog and some of the comments left.
    2. I almost fainted reading your detailed, but oh so funny, description. I do care about your well being, but I am wondering if I might have to skip part 2.
    3. Did you ever get that grape and cereal? Just askin’.

  18. SGT PANDA Said,

    My favorite part of the so-called rebuttal to my comment “If you’ve ever been downrange…”

    I stand by my comments. Military medicine is a joke. Want another story? I was injured in the line of duty “downrange” as non-combat soldier often say. “Shoulder sprain” was the diagnosis at the battalion aid station. I did 9 more months of that tour, then came home, and once again had a civilian doctor look at it.

    I had torn labrum, torn rotator cuff, impingment, and a hairline fracture of my clavicle. Extensive surgery followed – at my expense on my private insurance, which I thankfully retained.

    I have earned the right to bitch about the pathetic care soldiers get. Go lecture somebody else.

  19. RM1SW Said,

    To SGT Panda,

    As retired Navy, I have seen both good and bad docs in and out of the service. Many military doctors get their training in civilian hospitals. They attend civilian medical schools and do their residency/fellowships in civilian hospitals. There are many military docs who are totally above many civilian docs. Just like there are some civilian docs who can’t find their way out of the office to go to the golf course. There is more wrong with our healthcare system than just bad doctors, they are everywhere.

    anonwife, tell your hubby thanks for me. I have been treated exceptionally well by both Navy and Army docs.

    Lincee, get better. I had disolving stiches creep out of my incision behind my ear. The hair dresser pulled it when she was combing my hair. OUCH!

  20. SGT PANDA Said,

    Take a poll of enlisted soldiers with combat military occupational specialties. With the exceptions of our fine immigrant soldier rescued from the slums of Manilla, they will pretty much bash our health care. It is football team health care – shut up, take pills, and go to work. I get it, and I know why it is like that. Just don’t go asking me to revere it.

    And I know how and where doctors are educated, trained or acquired by the military, but thanks anyways. I’ve been in longer than a day.

  21. SGT PANDA Said,

    Take a poll of enlisted soldiers with combat military occupational specialties. With the exceptions of our fine immigrant soldiers rescued from the slums of Manilla and Mexico City, they will all pretty much bash our health care. It is football team health care – shut up, take pills, and go to work. I get it, and I know why it is like that. Just don’t go asking me to revere it.

    And I know how and where doctors are educated, trained or acquired by the military, but thanks anyways. I’ve been in longer than a day.

  22. beens Said,

    Oh my heaven’s, I had to take a break from reading, I almost passed out too.

  23. Amy Said,

    I laughed so hard while my roommate stared at me like I was crazy! Loved it!

  24. pineapple Said,

    OMG…..you crack my a$$ up!!!!! Thank you for making work tolerable, if only for a few minutes!

  25. Janet Said,

    Ok, I get squimish putting earings in my ears! And I have had two children, naturally!! Friend! I am getting clammy reading this.

  26. ab3 Said,

    Lincee, you are too funny! Love your stories!! On, a side note, did you happen to see that our own “Monkey” and her family are getting their own show on E! Leave it to Lamas is debuting in the next week or so. I just thought you might want to set your DVR for the train wreck that we all know it will be!

  27. rebeca Said,

    poor thing! you’re in my prayers! this is the most squeemish stomach churning story! ewww! keep us posted!

  28. Jen J Said,

    The dissolvable stitches don’t dissolve for me either. I had a mole removed on my shoulder and went in to the dr. because I thought the stitch was coming out. He grabbed tweezers and pulled it out while I was watching. I remember walking out of the room then the next thing I remember is being back in the room and they were trying to get me to drink some soda. Not fun!

    Hope you feel better soon.

  29. Molly Said,

    You. Poor. Thing. I’m pulling for you for everything to be alright.

    And yes, Vicodin does that to everyone. The last time I took them, for headaches…you don’t want to know….I took one, sat down on the couch and realized that my bed was upstairs. I didn’t have the strength to stand up and WALK up the stairs to bed. I had to CRAWL up the stairs. Once I got in my room, I sat on the floor for about ten minutes trying to figure out how I was going to get into the bed. I stopped taking them that night.

  30. Connie Said,

    Yeah, I really don’t like this situation you were in (all alone) but only someone with real humor in their bones could pull off making that story funny. You poor dear. And shame on them for not listening! I give you real credit for sliding down onto the floor and not just plain passing out onto the floor. This bodes well for you in emergencies and very squeamish situations. Wish you’d been there at my son’s birth rather than his father who passed out just watching. Girl Power, Lincee! Christine better have called you by now…anxiously waiting…

  31. sc Said,

    Yikes! We have some squeamish girls on this site! I think the only time I ever came close to passing out was on my way to an ER once, while in desperate need of stitches, and that was because of the pain, not because of what I could see ;) I thought the story was really funny Lincee, but I hope you’re ok! Elliott, I have to side with you, but add that just because the majority of military medicine is sub-par, doesn’t mean it’s 100% crap. I’ve had really bad experiences (like when they tried for an hour to repeatedly get an IV in me as they prepped me for an emergency surgery that I ended up not needing) and good ones (my knee surgeon was a saint). I worked at a Naval Hospital, dated a Navy doctor, and watched my dad go through 3 back surgeries, each leaving him worse off than the one before. Most of the care seems to be initiated by corpsman, who are young and uneducated, unless you count the few months of training they receive. While it is nice to pop in anytime for physicals or colds or whatever, when it’s something serious I would be leery.

  32. Catherine Palmore Said,

    Ok, that made me throw up a little in my mouth. I’m so sorry that you had to handle that on your own! It reminds me of the time I walked into our bathroom and saw my sister trying to clean her surgical wound on her hand. She was bent over, holding onto the bathroom counter, and trying not to pass out. Her face had lost all color and she looked pitiful. So I had to take over STAT! :) I totally would have been there to help you, too!! Call me next time and I’ll come snip stitches for you!!

  33. Heather Said,

    Because I know you love cats…my cat had been spayed and a few weeks later she got this hole in her stomach…a hole that allowed me to see INTO her stomach. The verdict? Her stitches. Instead of dissolving, they tried to find the quickest way out, which was through her stomach wall. This even happens to animals! What I’m trying to figure out is why a medical professional doesn’t believe you?! From the comments here, it seems like it’s more common than you would think.

  34. saggleo Said,

    Hope you are doing better Lincee! I had part of a “dissolvable” stitch not dissolve and got freaked out too when I pulled it out from my body and it kept going…about 2 to 3 inches long. Oy!

  35. Shelli (Rebecca's friend) Said,

    Oh Lincee. You should have been more adamant. I has dissolvable stitches ripped out of my little toes after surgery because they didn’t dissolve. And unfortunately, I forgot to tell my doc about that when I delivered my first child – like glass swords in a very bad place:-( So, when I had my Chiari surgery in Jan. the doc and I were on the phone at 9:30 the night before surgery discussing what type of sutures he would use. At least he took me seriously. Your doc probably used vycril (sp) sutures. I have done a lot of research. Write me if you want to talk.

  36. cheekymonkey Said,

    Good lord… I completely felt nauseated when reading that and yet I couldn’t stop… I half expected your knee to pop open.. (for the record, I’m happy that it didn’t)

    Lady, you are some freak of nature. Hopefully everything is still in place and we won’t have to worry about another fun kitchen experience any time soon….until you go get that grape and cheerio. :)

    Tlee

  37. shrtswt2thpt Said,

    Here is my tale about “disolving stitches”. While undergoing common everyday, status quo, nothing major, surgery, the docs (Army) nicked an atery. After 3 days in ICU, they decided I was well enough to stich me back up, disolving sutures on the inside, staples on the outside. When the removed the staples, the medic also pulled the little black “wire” and poof out came my internal stiches. Needless to say, I was back in surgery in less than 3 hours….

    Gotta love those Army docs.

  38. Missy Said,

    Dang Lincee. You sure do have lots of interesting things happen in your life. I enjoy reading your posts. Sgt, I’ve had some sub par medical care myself in the military. I understand the mil dr wife defending her man, however, we are all entitled to our opinion. Lincee just shared her sub par medical care with us and no one slammed her.

  39. SGT PANDA Said,

    Don’t worry Missy, The Panda is used to being talked down to by officers and their wives. I am sure that an ignorant grunt like me gets the same quality of care as the spouse of an officer and doctor. Just like I am sure that if I walked into Tiffany’s I would get the same great service as Donald Trump. It all sounds logical to me.

    And I love getting the last word – booyah!

  40. Austin-ite Said,

    Hi, Shelli – You are the first person that I have come across that has had surgery for Chiari Malformation. May I ask you how it went, where you had it done and if you had I or II malformation? Was it associated with CFIDS?

    I hope that it was successful and you are doing well!

  41. Shelli (Rebecca's friend) Said,

    Hey Austin-ite, the surgery went very well. I had it done at Methodist Hospital in Houston by a fabulous neurosurgeon. I believe it was a Chiari I. I’m not sure what CFIDS means… I didn’t have many symptoms – just numbness and tingling in arms, etc. – but I had a pretty significant syrinx. Are you needing the surgery or have you had it? I searched for people that had been through it in order to ask questions. If so, maybe we can get in contact.

  42. Lori Said,

    Oh Lincee! I haven’t been on your site for a bit…hope you are feeling better and that there’s no more “dental floss” coming out of your knee!

    LOL – a dehydrated grape and a lone Cheerio! I need to hit the floor sometime to survey the escapees from my kitchen.

  43. jackie Said,

    Ok Lincee, you are not the only medical freak. *possible TMI ahead* When I had my son I had about 20 stitches from my episiotomy that would not absorb PLUS I was allergic to the damn things! Talk about pain and misery…not fun in your girl regions!

    I hope you are on the mend soon!

  44. Choosing the Right Kitchen Flooring Said,

    [...] A night on the kitchen floor | ihategreenbeans.com [...]

  45. proudmama Said,

    My “inside” C-Section stitches didn’t dissolve either!!! I kept having to clip those too! Gross.

  46. Sue Said,

    OK, I guess I shouldn’t think about switiching to any medically related career, because I seriously think I’m going to hurl…

Add A Comment