iHateGreenBeans

I was 12-years-old when Dirty Dancing came out on the big screen.  It was perfect timing due to the fact that I had recently announced to my family that I was going to either dance on Broadway or be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader when I grew up.  I was infatuated with MGM musicals, going to the theater and the Mickey Mouse Club on the Disney Channel.

Clearly, my Mom saw the word “dirty” in the title of this movie I HAD TO SEE and decided it was not fit for a young girl. 

Annoyingly, my older sister saw the movie about 58 times and would come home and tell me about the music, the moves and the beauty of Patrick Swayze.

Oh how we loved Patrick Swayze.

Those of you who are movie savvy probably figure my sister and I fell in love with Patrick in the Outsiders or Red Dawn.  (Mother totally let me watch a movie about the dawn of World War III as kids in Mid-Western America band together to fight for their town, their country and their freedom.)  Although Patrick did bring lots of eye candy to the silver screen, I was much more interested in C. Thomas Howell and the dude who played Ponyboy (who was also the Karate Kid) at that time in my life.

No, no.  Patrick entered the House of Ray on one faithful night I shall never forget.

The year was 1985.  My Mom is in her bedroom watching a mini-series about the Civil War.  My sister and I wander in and settle ourselves on the bed.  Within the first 10 minutes we are all three hooked and mesmerized by Orry Main.

WHAT THE WHAT???  When did Swayze turn into a hotter than crap actor?

Needless to say, North & South sucked us in for the next six days only to TORTURE us with part two of the mini-series concluding SIX MONTHS LATER!  I’m quite sure this had never been done in the history of television. 

Fast forward to 1987.  Jamie is still going on and on and on about how awesome Dirty Dancing is and that it’s so sad I never saw it.  Especially on the big screen.  Little did she know that Tiffany Tutt’s birthday party was that weekend and we watched the entire thing four times on BETA. 

I have to tell you reader…I was hooked.  It was a pivotal movie for me.  Sure, sure…there was a ton of sexual related stuff, but I only saw the dancing and heard the music and wished I was Baby in Johnny Castle’s arms.  I would try to figure out ways to sit in a corner, longing for a tall, handsome fella in a leather bomber jacket to come and proclaim that nobody puts me in a corner.

Seriously.  Who didn’t do that?

I remember rewinding and hitting play, rewinding and hitting play during the scene when Robby the Waiter tells Johnny, “You think you got that Johnny?  What you can and can’t do?”

For years…I mean YEARS…my sister and I couldn’t figure out how Johnny answered him.  It was awful, because we had the dialog from the entire movie memorized except for that part.  I think it wasn’t until the Internet took over our lives that we were able to Ask Jeeves (before Google) what he said.  And it was a glorious day when we found out:

“You just put your pickle on everybody’s plate college boy and leave the hard stuff to me.”

BURN ROBBY!

I loved when Penny and Johnny danced.  I loved when Johnny bit his lower lip and gave Baby the “come here” gesture with his finger when they first met after she carried a watermelon.  Then he proceeds to lovingly teach her how to dirty dance.  I love the entire Hungry Eyes montage. 

So much going on in that scene!  Her hand on his heart. (awwww!)  “LOOK!  SPAGHETTI ARMS!  This is my dance space, this is yours.”  Johnny sweaty.  Johnny shirtless.  Johnny’s back around the 2:53 mark. 

I’m just sayin’.  

I owned two VHS tapes of the movie.  I own the DVD.  I own the soundtracks, including, More Dirty Dancing.  I performed the move that Johnny executes down the center aisle with the other instructors in a high school pep rally number.  I fell in love with the mambo.  And I saw the 20th anniversary screening two years ago. 

My sister was right.  There’s nothing like Johnny Castle 22 feet up in the air.

I received several texts, emails and phone calls that Patrick Swayze had passed away yesterday after battling cancer.  He was an amazing entertainer, but more importantly, he appeared to be completely normal even though he was affiliated with the Hollywood scene.  He will be missed.

Now it’s your turn.  Feel free to share your favorite Swayze moments or one-liners in the comments section.  I’m sure some of you are shouting at your screens, “What about Ghost you crazy person?!?” 

What?  I can’t hear you.  “Unchained Melody” is playing on iTunes right now.

In the meantime,

RIP Patrick Swayze.  1987 was a good year for me.  I truly had the time of my life.

Every once in a while, I like to share my inappropriate “never-gonna-happen-so-get-over-it” boy crushes with the lovely readers of I Hate Green Beans.  It’s therapeutic.  Join me in my own personal fantasy, won’t you?

Tim Riggins

He’s the bad boy on Friday Night Lights who every girl in Dillon wants to fix.  I prefer him in his fullback attire.  Those brooding eyes.  That hair.  Go Panthers!

 Billy Abbott

Billy Miller (the actor who plays Billy Abbott) is the best thing that has happened to Young and the Restless since Shelia Carter came back looking like Phyllis and tried to steal Lauren’s baby.  He has a charm about him that is infectious.  Love him!

Ryan Abbott

Well what do we have here?  Hello Tiger! 

Meet my friend Christopher J. Hanke.  He’s one of the most talented people I know.  And I’m excited beyond words that he is going to be in a new show on CBS this fall entitled Three Rivers.

About three months ago, I received an email that said, “Check out this behind the scenes look of the show.”

I click the link and am waiting for Hanke to pop up on a gurney with a bullet wound or as a surgical assistant handing the ER doctor a scalpel or something.  Little did I know that he was a MAIN CHARACTER of the show!  He’s the transplant coordinator with a heart of gold! 

And he’s so funny and so HANDSOME!

CBS loved him so much that they gave him a flip cam to take around for a day and document his random musings.  Check it out here.

I’m so excited for Christopher to make it big in Hollywood.  Mainly because he deserves to achieve this life-long dream and partly because I have a really good shot at meeting Billy Abbott now. 

I’ll be conducting a short Q&A with Hanke closer to the premiere of the show, which airs Sunday October 4.  If you’re lucky, I might convince him to send me a shirtless pic (you know how I love the nine-pack).  I’ve seen the real deal.  He’s hot.  You have my permission to get excited because it is totally worth it.

Together…we can get him in People’s Sexiest Men Alive edition.  Are you with me? 

In the meantime, why don’t you join me in the comments section and tell the world your TV crushes?  I’d be willing to bet there are some guys out there who aren’t afraid to post their thoughts too. 

Challenge extended.

I had an idea to write this post when a friend of mine sent me an email this morning.  Let me set it up for you:

David and I are PowerPoint “co-captains” at church and I recently asked him for his September schedule so I could figure out who we need to bring up from JV while we are away doing various activities this semester.

He was quick to respond with all the dates in the fall that he will not be able to serve.  There was a wedding.  Texas Tech vs. A&M football weekend.  And this little nugget on September 6…

World Championship BBQ Goat Cook-Off.

Huh.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen those words connected together before in my life.  One might think that I would go off on some sarcastic tangent, but coming from a girl who is scheduling her pending knee surgery around Hallsville Western Days’ Civil War Re-Enactment…well…you all know that this Goat BBQ Championship thing sounds all sorts of AWESOME to me.   Let’s hope DQ takes pictures and sends in a report on who wins the big prize. 

I’d blog about it.  I’m just saying.

The goat championship BBQ sentence did tickle me though.  I started to think about all the random things I had heard on the phone, or read in an email/text or heard from friends and family the last week.  I have to say, I lead a pretty interesting life.  Or I surround myself with crazies.  Probably a mixture of both.

Example #1:

My friend Jill has a 16-month old little boy.  The other day we were on the phone and I heard this:  “No…no Sam…Sam…no…SAM!  Lincee I have to go.  Sam’s eating dog food.”

Not your typical run-of-the-mill sentence that acurately describes your kid’s diet. 

Example #2:

My other friend Rebecca has a brand new baby.  I hear her three-year-old in the background:  “Mommy!  Baby Sam needs you!”

What is wrong with that sentence you ask?  Yes…it is very normal.  However, the baby’s name is not Sam.  The three-year-old has named him Sam because the only other boy baby he has known is Jill’s Sam.  It’s been five days now.  The siblings are still calling him Sam.  The parents call him by his real name.  My Mom used to call the dog’s name when she was yelling for me.  I think this family is going to be okay.

Example #3

My Mom and I are watching the traveling Broadway production of Mamma Mia this past weekend in Dallas.  When the curtain rises, we find Sophie on the Greek island singing to herself about how she has a dream.  Mom leans over and says, “Why is her hair red?”  I look at her funny and she says, “It’s supposed to be blond.”

I explain to her that this isn’t Cinderella and that she needs to get over it.  Different actors play different characters on the stage.  Sophie’s hair color means nothing to the story line.  She rolled her eyes and was bitter for the rest of the show. 

Example #4

I was on the phone with Sergeant Cole last night (yes he’s back!) and he is telling me how he got from Iraq to the US.  In the middle of a very dramatic moment, I hear a bugle playing in the background.  He pauses and says, “Let me call you back.  They are lowering the flag.”

Oh how that warms my heart!  God bless the USA!

Example # 5

I drove in from Dallas on Saturday night and arrived back at my apartment around 1:30 in the morning.  I fell asleep immediately and woke up a few hours later to my phone ringing.  As you can imagine, there is a split second that is a mixture of figuring out where the weird noise is coming from, trying to find my phone and registering who is on the other side, because nothing good can come from a 3:00 a.m. phone call.

It was my boss.  Who is currently in the Middle East. 

I click the green button and yell “HELLO?” about 30 times.  Nothing.  I get panicky and start wondering if he is in trouble or stuck in a holding cell at an airport or in JAIL!  I text as fast as my fingers could fly and wait for the familiar BING to answer me back.

BING!  “I forgot it is 3:00 AM in Houston.  Going to tell you about rig in Oman.  Sorry to disturb you.  Go back to bed.”

Don’t you think that merits a free personal day?  One that corresponds with the World Championship BBQ Goat Cook-Off maybe?