iHateGreenBeans

I received an email from my friend Beverly asking me if I would recap Dancing with the Stars.  Although I think Bev is precious, I can’t seem to stomach an entire recapping of a show that I’m just not invested in at all.

Let the record show that I love Dmitry and Mya.  And when Maks stepped in to save the day when Juliann’s little brother got sick, that was a glimmer of hope for a show that is slowly becoming a tired version of what it used to be. 

And although Donny Osmond has been in my life in more ways than I should probably admit at such a young age, I just can’t seem to wait more than 15 seconds before putting his campy routine out of its misery by fast forwarding on my DVR.

But I do have  a few fond memories of Donny and his lovable sister and sidekick Marie. 

1.  I remember seeing the dynamic duo sing “Little Bit Country, Little Bit Rock-N-Roll” and wondering why Donny would ever think he was rock-n-roll.  It was more like country and disco if you asked me, but no one did.  Catchy tune though.  I’d be willing to be that will be a routine number of Donny goes far in the Dancing with the Stars stratosphere.

2.  Did any of you have Donny and Marie dolls?

My sister and I LOVED these dolls.  I remember thinking that Marie’s dress was sooooo pretty.  Purple and pink?  Are you kidding me?!  And the fact that they had microphones!  C’MON!  For a kid who put on Christmas plays with her 56 Barbies (that’s right…no judging) I was in hog heaven now that Donny and Marie were members of my Barbie repertoire.  They were the headliners.  Peaches-N-Cream was an ice skater and Suntan Barbie sang O Holy Night with Cowboy Ken. 

The rest were audience members and the choir. 

I’m getting off track. 

One day, our cousins Mandy and Chris came to visit and our first order of business was to choreograph a variety show full of song and dance numbers for all our Barbies.  Naturally, Donny and Marie would be the stars. 

Chris was older, bored and therefore had little interest in our variety show.  I don’t remember when he snuck away, but the next thing we knew, Donny was on a noose dangling down from the balcony upstairs, swaying side-to-side in the den below.  And then his head popped off and body went flying into the La-Z-Boy my Dad still sits in to this day. 

Needless to say, the three girls were devastated and Chris was in big trouble.   Donny was never the same again.  I’m pretty sure my mother threw him away with that night’s Hamburger Helper remnants. 

3.  As many of you know, I worked at Disney World after college in an internship program.  My entire family came to visit for Thanksgiving and on one of my days off, we all went to MGM Studios.  I told my family to be on the lookout for cast members in plaid vests, because that meant they were escorting a famous person.  Typically, you would see one a week, but rarely knew who they were. 

We were on our way to the Tower of Terror when my Mother performs and about face out of nowhere and begins running the opposite direction.  We all turn and look at her as she gallops…yes…GALLOPS by this man walking briskly with a kid in tow and a plaid vested woman to the side.  She’s smiling big and hand gesturing wildly.  The rest of our party scurry off after her and this is what I hear:

“You’re Donny Osmond!  I KNEW IT!  I am a huge fan.  I’m Linea.  My daughter works here.  Both of my girls had your Barbie doll.  And Marie too!  They loved you.  But their cousin Chris hung you and your head popped off so I had to throw you away.”

Donny proceeds to stop and finally take notice of my Mom so the security guards can catch up and remove the “crazy” lady from Mr. Osmond’s general vicinity. 

I would understand you thought I was lying if we didn’t have the entire episode on video. 

Now it’s your turn.  Any awesome  Donny Osmond memories?  Any memories from other “stars” from the show?  Is DWTS as boring to you as it is to me this season?