Last night my phone, Facebook and email blew up with the confirmation of Jake’s return to The Bachelor. And for some reason, ABC chose to share this news on Dancing with the Stars in one of the lamest announcements I’ve ever witnessed. Granted, I fast-forwarded through most of the train wreck. (I’m not emotionally invested in anyone on the show but Dmitry now that Maks is gone.) But from what I gathered, our second favorite host Tom Bergeron teased us with two yahoos and Jake…all holding a single red rose (chachtastic) while the inevitable rhetorical question boomed over the audience as the camera man (do you think it’s Gary?) panned the three faces:
“Who will be the next Bachelor?”
After the break, they did the exact same thing with the addition of Julianne Hough’s little brother in the panel looking like a door knob. The camera landed on Jake and he gave a half-hearted grin as if to say, “What in the world have I gotten myself in to?”
Much like this moment when he sold his soul to the producers and came back to tattle on He Who Must Not Be Named:
I think the best thing to do now that we are officially stuck with Jake is to focus on the positives:
1. He’s still hot. Yes, it’s in a Ken Doll sort of way, but he’s had several months to work on his core and get ready for the hot tub scenes. Hopefully he practiced kissing a few lucky ladies to work on his form and approach. Hopefully…
2. Everyone knows that we all love The Bachelor better than The Bachelorette because of the CRAZIES that ABC blatantly puts through to the Top 20. Here’s hoping he is contractually obligated to keep one or two around for entertainment value.
3. Remember how we called Jason Mesnick melba toast? And look how THAT season turned out! There’s hope for our pilot!
Oh! And look who else is back!
I can’t contain my joy.
Luckily, the apartment cat left this little treasure in front of the neighbor’s door. Looks like Tweety put up a good fight.
Or it might be an omen that things are going to be messy on this season’s Bachelor.
Let the heart breaking begin!
I loved Jake. I know lots of people didn’t really care for him. But at this stage in my life I’ll take a little boring, with a good job, and nice abs, over the questionable does-he-or-doesn’t he have another fish (or several) on the line bad-boy type.
I look forward to the crop of crazies ABC has dredged the Oklahoma/Texas/Louisianna ponds for. Because you KNOW that’s where they’ll focus the search since he’s from north Texas.
Go Oklahoma Girls!!!
I like Jake, and though I didn’t want him as the next bachelor I’ll still watch. He’s still cute, but I think he has the potential to be WAY clingy. Maybe it’ll be a good season after all!
Let the hide-behind-your-pillow embarrassment squealing commence!
Side note: Reid finally accepted my Facebook friend request! I’m official awesome and/or pathetic, depending on how you look at it.
officially*
My excitement got to me.
I am very “eh” on this season. Of course, I will watch, but not with the excitement I have had with EVERY other season!!
I was hoping for Reid, but I guess enough people will swoon for the Barbie doll….err…Ken doll.
What perplexes me is that on almost every blog and entertainment site, the grand majority of women were not in favor of Jake. So why did the producers feel he’d be such a good fit? Don’t they make money if we actually watch the show? Or are they banking on the fact that we’ll all watch anyway, no matter who’s filling the Bachelor shoes?
During the DWTS bit last night, I was really hoping Jake was the fake and Derek Hough was the Bachelor… So sick of them recycling old contestants!
Ok, so I’m trying to talk myself into Jake as the Bach, in doing so I’ve made a list of pros and cons…
Pros: 1. Jake is nice to look at. 2. He seems to be a nice person. 3. He has nice abs. 4. More crying over banister moments. 5. Pilot uniforms are hot. 6. Lincee always has awesome recaps, no matter who we are watching.
Cons: 1. Booooring! 2. Continuing the trail of tears left in the wake of Hotter than Crap Brad Womack. 3. I tend to end up really disliking the people that I once liked when they become the Bachelor or Bachelorette. It happened with Deanna, Jason, even Jilly to some extent.
#9 – heidi, don’t forget that we now will have to hear…After Jillian broke his heart last season…every time the show starts!!!! AAHHHHHH
I want fresh meat darn it!!!! Hot fresh meat…ABC!!! They are out there – if you need help let me know…I’ll find a mighty fine piece for the greenbeaners to enjoy!
CRACKING UP at the apartment cat’s present!!! LMAO
Officially…not…watching. Hopefully Lincee’s recaps are just as funny without watching the nursing-home-BINGO-game that will be this season’s show.
I used to work at a nursing home, and I’m pretty sure their bingo games are more interesting than Jake.
SCORE! Think of all the airplane lingo to be used this season…
They already said it would be called “The Bachelor:On the Wings of Love” Gag me with a spoon!
Unlike most everyone else, I like Jake as well….and I’m not even a fair skin, blonde guy type of girl. I like them tall, dark & handsome…but I like Jake. I will watch, I will enjoy it. I will scream, and even cry out of frustration like I do every year.
Anyway, my beautiful indoor cat left me a present on my dining room floor….a dead rat, sans head and hind leg. Nice. Mice in my house…wonderful. There is no evidence of rodents in my house. My cat can’t get outside, so WTH?!! It was gross and now I have to call an exterminator…GREAT!
I know I technically have a job now, but I will do my level best to watch so I can have semi-informed comments.
That cat is pretty hardcore. I wonder if he started by torturing even smaller critters as a kitten… Could be a serial killer in your ‘hood.
BTW, Are there other guys who read this blog, or am I the “token dude.”
“On the Wings of Love” – really… we’re doing this?!?! Oh ABC, how you torture us so!
Well, I’m not a Jake fan but I am looking forward to all the airplane lingo they’ll throw at us (#14 – good call) and we all know Lincee will make it worthwhile. =)
I can’t do it. I just can’t. It will be much too uncomfortable… I will promise myself over the next three months that I will just. say. no.
And then when the show premieres in January, I’ll watch it, just like I do every season. Because just like all the other rubberneckers out there, nobody can resist watching a train wreck. Even me.
But I’m not going to like it…
Bethe, I’m in the same boat. I started doing the same thing when Jen left both of her final two behind. I said to myself “that’s it, I’m done”. Then the next season airs, and I say “well, I’ll just watch the first show to see what kind of girls, or guys they rounded up”. Then BAM!!!! I’m watching the entire season and getting nothing done at work on Tuesday because I’m eagerly waiting for Lincee to put up her recap.
It a vicious cycle……
I thought you were going to say Naomi was back too, with that last pic of the dead bird…
I’m actually glad they picked Jake. Reid is too sweet and can’t commit and Kip is just too. I tell myself every season I’m not going to get emotionally involved and I MEAN IT this time. I really, really do. Really.
When will the filming begin? I’ll watch for the crews on my street. Yup, I live down the street from his folks.
I liked Jake too. He’s smart, can be charming and is good looking. Everybody liked Reid because they all wanted to FIX him. Hate to break it to you ladies but if he can’t talk about his feelings now, what makes you think he’ll talk about his feelings with you??? Give me a man who isn’t afraid to show some emotion. (Although I must admit, the balcony scene was a bit too much!)
It will be an interesting season and of course, we have Lincee’s recaps to look forward to!
I’m bored already…. I think Jake’s brother would be more interesting… isn’t he the guy who is the trainer on one of the cable ‘lose weight/get in shape’ shows??? He makes Jake look like a wall flower – and he appears to have a more interesting personality.
i could care less if he was just boring. the fact that he’s boring AND the cheesiest cheese ass EVER is the kicker (and yes, i will continue to use this term ALL season long.)
poor midwest. you are not being represented well. ugh.
I am seriously bummed that it is Jake and not Reid. I think this season will be boring, but I am willing to give it a try – if only to keep up with Lincee’s blog. I just don’t see how Mr. Nice Guy Jake is going to survive balancing all those women. He will feel too guilty for cheating on them. Either that or he will surprise us all and do more kissing in the first three episodes than Melba and Jillian combined.
Those crazy women are going to be all over him like the annual clearance sale at Filene’s Basement. Let the drama begin!
Becca, good point. Wouldn’t that be crazy if he turned out to be like Bob. I do believe Bob kissed every girl that sat still long enough for him to lean over and plant one on them.
Aw, I like Jake. He won’t be hard to watch at all, and the show – if the ABC casting folks are on their game – will be full of trashy over-the-top surgically enhanced women who throw our good boy for a rootin’ tootin’ loop! And then there will be one, just one, that has that hint of Mary Ingalls (not Laura… has to be blonde) about her, and gosh darn it if she isn’t the one who fixes his Jillian-trodden heart.
already missing Reid
I hope I am wrong, but I am expecting this to be the most boring season of The Bachelor ever. My personal opinion is that ABC made a poor decision bringing Jake back, but like I said, I hope I’m wrong. I am with Jennifer H in that there will be plenty of hide-behind-your-pillow embarrassment squealing going on. Oh, the awkward moments that are ahead of us – but thankfully we have Lincee to get us through each episode!
Jake, please, did I press the snooze button?
Lame-o! Give me one good reason to watch this season. Wait, I know cat fights, desperate women, something to fill my Monday nights and your blog!
Since I don’t have my own blog, I will give some TMI on Lincee’s space. Long story short, ran into a high school buddy at the gym. Haven’t seen him in 13 years. We down a gallon of tequila with a couple of sexy 22 year old babes who just LOVE older dudes. Details omitted.
Now I’m wondering why we don’t just take two lame reality shows “Biggest Loser” and “The Bachelor” and combine them into one big show (no drunken pun intended). I was a fat kid in grade school, so I feel bad for those adorable, chubby, 35 year old virgins. Let’s hook them up with…Jake? Is that his name?
Who’s with me?
i just love that apartment cat! the original blog was one of my favorites of yours. that cat totally loves you, lincee!
jake is such a lame-o and i hope abc give hims a good talking to and tells him follow their scripts b/c i am not looking forward to awkward uncomfortable dorky moments with him.
SGT Cole i think you may be on to something there with your biggest loser/bachelor combo….
The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love? …..oh, no they didn’t! It should have been The Bachelor: Nosedive and Glide….
Jake is boring. Wouldn’t it be fun though if the women were a bunch of trailer trash, surgically enhanced, or sactimonious girls…..with one “Dugger” type and one other oddball sort? Then I wouldn’t be watching the romance….I would be watching a 3-month cat fight! That wouldn’t be boring….it’s always fun to see women cat fight.
Sgt cole- what on earth does your tequila-fest with the kiddos have to do with biggest loser/bachelor combo? Has anyone seen the chick who blabbed that Jake was the bachelor? She is a stunning(like makes you want to hurl that some girls are THAT pretty), blonde-haired, blue-eyed pilot. Jake might having a pretty good crop of girls!
While I’m not a huge Jake fan I’m not sure why everyone is saying he’s so boring. Is there a bachelor contestant who wasn’t at least a little boring or lacking personality? What makes them exciting is their good looks (which Jake has) and the helicopter rides. Quite frankly, I think the producers of the show can make any guy desireable (whether it be with pre-planned dates or keen editing after the fact). Every one of these shows is a train wreck….and that’s why we LOVE it!!
I like that idea Sgt Cole! I just watched the biggest loser this week (don’t really watch it but it was on at the dentist) and those people will give Jake a run for his money in the crying department! Well any bachelor really! But that would be a fun and interesting twist instead of the same ol same ol – no pun intended to older gentlemen/ladies… I happen to like older gentlemen (well a reasonable distance in age – lol).
Oh and just as we may have jake’s hot brother make an appearance…if he and Reid are good friends we may get a Reid appearance too! Didn’t that happen on one of the bachelorette seasons – some of the girls came back and quizzed the men? I swear it was someone’s season…just don’t know who.
I’d probably give my right arm though (well maybe the left) to see Kip’s abs up close and personal. Oy vey! This show makes you NUTS!
apparently Jessie from DietTribe is not actually Jake’s hot brother… even though apparently they are from the same town and have the same somewhat unique last name. I read that somewhere yesterday. Speaking of Jessie from DietTribe, though, watched that show this weekend…he is so attractive, I would do anything he told me to do. That’s what I need, a hot personal trainer.
No way will the producers let this season be boring. They have to kick it up a notch each season! Wonder what kind of drama they’ve dreamed up for Jake.
I think I’m jaded. Haha!
Well, I didn’t want Jake, but I will nevertheless watch. My theory is that Jake was the only one that was actually stupid enough to accept the role of Bachelor. I really don’t know if jake will be able to pick a girl. I think he will see only the good things in the girls and never be able to make up his mind.
#34 Hey Sgt Cole, makes more sense to hook up “More To Love” and “The Bachelor” than the ladies from The Biggest Loser. “More To Love” is the same premise as The Bach but with plus size women….and completely annoying that they had to tell each girl’s weight. ARGH I won’t get started on all my issues with that show.
And no you aren’t the only guy who reads. Perhaps you’re one of the few secure enough in your own manhood to comment
.
They should bring back Stephanie (Jason’s season). She and Jake would make a FABULOUS stepford couple.
#41 – heidi….I HIGHLY recommend that! I did that once and it was GREAT! What motivation I had for each session!!!! Whew….excuse me for a moment. Need a cold shower.
Can’t believe they aren’t related…although I did think there wasn’t a strong resemblance but what do I know!
BTW, has anyone heard an update on Jilly and Ed?
#45 JL,
YES! I thought Steph was classy and very pretty in a very modest kind of way. Jake is the same kind of guy…..they should totally hook up and have a pretty little boy to keep Stephanie’s little girl busy being a good big sister!
I think I was one of the first to mention Jessie being Jake’s brother. I thought I had read somewhere that they were brothers. But maybe what I read was wrong. I think they look a lot a like…with Jessie being the “super hot” brother and Jake being the “still damn hot” brother… ;o)
I’ll admit, I’ve been a bit of a Jake basher. Just a bit …
A friend is very excited about Jake as the next Bachelor and thinks he’s the sweetest. After I internally rolled my eyes, I realized that she has the most wonderful, handsome, normal hubby ever … and my ‘picker’ is not so great in comparison. I go for the funny, sarcastic Reid types and it isn’t getting me far. So maybe her judgement is more valid than mine and Jake will turn out to be the best candidat ever.
And if not, Lincee, I’m counting on you to bring on the hi-larity!
#26 hey, michelle — fyi, Texas (and Oklahoma) are not considered Midwest – in fact, I think most people in both states would be offended — we’re more south central/southwest —- I’m just saying….
Clearly Jake was chosen because he is the only contestant dumb and desperate enough to go along with whatever the producers tell him to do. For example “returning” to warn jillian… his, willingness to flail himself over the balcony in tears….. create a fake story line to add to the drama. Ahhh I rest my case.
I really hate this word, but it just fits him so well, DOUCHEBAG!!!
Of course I’ll watch the DB because he’ll play well into a dramatic season.
I am not incredibly excited about Jake except that he lives in the same neighborhood as my best friend and his parents live in the same neighborhood as my other BF’s parents. Maybe we can get a sneak peak at the hometown dates. HA!
I don’t care what anyone says, Jake is good looking and sweet and obviously wants to be with someone who is normal and honest. Everyone always wants drama but it would be nice for once to see a great guy find a great girl and have it work out! Without all of the lying-making out-sleeping around-meet my crazy parents crap that always happens. There’s my 2 cents.
I am on the fence about Jake being the new “bachelor”, but I did see him when we were on vacation this summer in Destin, FL. He was staying in our hotel and got into the elevator with us; NO I didn’t talk to him but only because I couldn’t remember his name for the life of me and NO one else on the elevator watches The Bachelor/Bachelorette. He is really short, but good-looking! I was a little suspicious that he might be the bachelor and let me tell you why…he was on the elevator by himself, but a girl had gotten on before him…they had just both come from the beach…I thought she was with him, but he got off on the second floor and she rode to the fourth floor with us. But, what made me suspicious was that she got back on another elevator and went back down to the second floor. Ok, now that I write this it does sound very stalkerish, but I was outside the room talking to my sister-in-law about who we had just seen. I guess I will have to see if I recognize her on the show, if they had even started filming. Sorry the post is so long, but I felt I needed to share my story!
melissa has swine flu- oh no!
http://tv.yahoo.com/news/article/tv.tvguide.com/melissa-rycroft-diagnosed-with-swine-flu-20091016;
#47 — Jilly did the puck shoot at Wednesday’s Blackhawks game. Normally they invite one kid, one dude, and the trashiest-looking girl they can find. I was wondering why the girl was so average and it turned out to be our Jilly! Ed was also in attendance being interviewed by the local press. Her shooting, however, was just plain bad. Incredibly bad, in fact.
As an aside, I also ran into “bad-ass kisser” Brad at my local bank. Turns out “financial advisor” means “head bank teller.” Guess that doesn’t sound as cool on TV.
#51 — If you don’t like writing DB, then Cheese Ass always works on this blog.
What in the hell is a “cheese ass?”
Drew, thanks for the update!
Buy some Claritin and some kitty litter and bring that cat in your apartment. He/She is obviously wooing you. Trust me, you will not regret it.
# thongandtiara Said,
What in the hell is a “cheese ass?”
Obviously, you did not watch the last season of The Bachelorette.
Yeah. Team Jake all the way!
I do worry that our nice boy will be tainted with a trashy ho parade, however.
He should just find a partner the old fashioned way.
My heart will break to see him sleaze around with all the girls looking for fame on TV.
Melissa Rycroft w/ Swine Flu!? Oh no!
So I educated myself on what a “cheese ass” is. One more question for the peanut gallery: Do they ever put bisexual chicks on these shows? Strippers? How about a Golden Retriever?
#54 – How short is really short? I suspected as much and just want an idea -
Well, #63, I am 5′2″ and he was about 2″ taller than me, if that much.
oh my god can someone tell me why Jake decided to wear a v-necked t-shirt for the People magazine layout last week? and I know I’m probably going to hell for this but his baby picture looks like its a mini me of Mike Meyers.
Oh the carnage! And the dead bird isn’t good either! Think I will sit this season out. Unless there is absolutely nothing else on TV to watch. I’ll get my jollies here. It’s about time to let the Apartment Cat loose on this show. Put it out of our misery Apartment Cat.
Oh didn’t you mention something about a friend that lost like a meeellion pounds in three hours? Still waiting for the details of that. These ‘tater chips ain’t helping matters none.
Wow #64 – that is way shorter than I thought – especially if you are 5′2″ and think he was short! I am 5′11″ and think any guy under 5′8″ or so is really short and under my height as just short- Maybe they had him in boots or lifts or something on the show.
Gee, I hope apartment cat’s ‘gift’ is not a sign of bad things to come on “On the Wings of Love!” Where’s Naomi’s mom when you need a crazy woman to bag a dead bird and store it in the freezer?
On the subject of men reading this blog, I like to read large passages of Lincee’s blog to my husband outloud, he is usually rolling with laughter.
I kind of like the idea of a shorter bachelor. The tall/handsome /successful thing is getting kind of old. It would be hilarious if they capitalized on it by casting lots of taller women. I hope they don’t try to pretend he’s tall, or ignore the height thing completely.
Maybe all the girls will be max of 5′1″?
Maybe it will turn into a little people bachelor. All the women under 4′10″. I would watch that. OHCH will tower over everyone like the Jolly green giant.
http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor
“She will look like me…”
OMG – This is the FIRST time I will NOT watch The Bachelor. I refuse to. This guy is more melba toast than Jason….didn’t think it was possible.
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