iHateGreenBeans

So there I was, mentally preparing myself for the big surgery tomorrow when my phone starts blowing up.

THE BACHELORETTES HAVE BEEN POSTED!

Thanks to everyone who sent me a message.  Truly…I need to hire you all to be my personal assistant.

Or, we can all quit our jobs and become a homemaker like Valisha here.

Seriously.  A homemaker?  Does she bake biscuits, sugar cookies and scrambled eggs for other families all day long?  Does she make dresses out of old pillow cases to give to all the little girls in her life?  Because that’s what I did when I took home economics in high school.  Perhaps she knits?  Or teaches clueless people how to run a household?

Let’s face it…whatever the case may be, I foresee that major going up the rank in colleges across the nation.

And then there’s Christina.

She’s a restaurant manager.  But she’s 25.  I’m going to go with manager of her parents’ fish fry establishment in Beaumont, Texas or manager of a Marble Slab Creamery.  She looks like she would be better suited for a guest host gig on Entertainment Tonight.

Meet Elizabeth.

She’s a 29-year-old Nanny.

I can hear our Bachelor now:  “I never had a nanny or a babysitter that looked like THAT when I was growing up!”

Hardy, har, har.

Twenty bucks it’s her sister’s kids she keeps.

How about Gia the swimsuit model?

Lord please, PLEASE let her get out of the limo in a swimsuit.

And finally…the token female pilot Sheila.

Who cares if she is only 25.  I’ve had high school kids fly me over mountains when trying to get to Dickinson from Williston, North Dakota.  It’s not rocket science people.

But I would LOVE for Jake and Sheila to have to race planes across the country.  Half of the girls are with him.  The other half are with her.  Whoever reaches LA first gets a tiny bag of peanuts and a small clear cup of Diet Coke.

FUN!

Okay everyone.  Log on to www.abc.com and take a look for yourself.  Did I miss anyone with loads of potential?

January 4 is coming fast!  We must be prepared!