So there I was, mentally preparing myself for the big surgery tomorrow when my phone starts blowing up.
THE BACHELORETTES HAVE BEEN POSTED!
Thanks to everyone who sent me a message. Truly…I need to hire you all to be my personal assistant.
Or, we can all quit our jobs and become a homemaker like Valisha here.
Seriously. A homemaker? Does she bake biscuits, sugar cookies and scrambled eggs for other families all day long? Does she make dresses out of old pillow cases to give to all the little girls in her life? Because that’s what I did when I took home economics in high school. Perhaps she knits? Or teaches clueless people how to run a household?
Let’s face it…whatever the case may be, I foresee that major going up the rank in colleges across the nation.
And then there’s Christina.
She’s a restaurant manager. But she’s 25. I’m going to go with manager of her parents’ fish fry establishment in Beaumont, Texas or manager of a Marble Slab Creamery. She looks like she would be better suited for a guest host gig on Entertainment Tonight.
Meet Elizabeth.
She’s a 29-year-old Nanny.
I can hear our Bachelor now: “I never had a nanny or a babysitter that looked like THAT when I was growing up!”
Hardy, har, har.
Twenty bucks it’s her sister’s kids she keeps.
How about Gia the swimsuit model?
Lord please, PLEASE let her get out of the limo in a swimsuit.
And finally…the token female pilot Sheila.
Who cares if she is only 25. I’ve had high school kids fly me over mountains when trying to get to Dickinson from Williston, North Dakota. It’s not rocket science people.
But I would LOVE for Jake and Sheila to have to race planes across the country. Half of the girls are with him. The other half are with her. Whoever reaches LA first gets a tiny bag of peanuts and a small clear cup of Diet Coke.
FUN!
Okay everyone. Log on to www.abc.com and take a look for yourself. Did I miss anyone with loads of potential?
January 4 is coming fast! We must be prepared!
Crap. Just when I am convinced that I am over watching this show, they present me with the train wreck potential, and I am intrigued. Besides, the recycled Bachelor/Bachelorette scenario guarantees that the star will go from Beloved to Loathed. That’s always a charming viewing experience.
And no mention of Caitlyn – the “spokesmodel”? Also, am I the only person who thinks that the profession of “Account Manager” is overrepresented on this show?! Plus, no mention of “Air National Guard Elizabeth” – more airplane love, I’m sure.
Valisha = Cross between DDahna and Meredith (remember her?!)
i just can’t wait for all your recaps.
even reading about these bimb—er— fine young ladies looking for stud—er—true & undying love… well, i just CAN’T WAIT.
oh, yeah! & DUH! good luck with your surgery & recovery……
merry christmas! & the bachelor-est of new years.
I totally got back in the Bachelor-series on maternity leave last year and then gave it up…..but bc of your blog…Im back on!!! Cant wait for the updates!
Who is the “crazy girl” this season? She was not jumping out at me…like they have done in the past. Any guesses?
Who comes up with the names of these professions…”Homemaker” when you have no husband or kids is called “Unemployed” in most areas of the country. Why is there always a swimsuit model and how come you never come across someone in that profession in real life? I haven’t checked out the list yet, but I’m hoping for the token “event planner”. If I was on there, I’m pretty sure I’d say I was a professional gift wrapper…just to be different. As usual…can’t wait for the mess!
Crazy emotional: Ashleigh
Crazy: Ella, Emily, Kathryn or Tiana
Seems to be a lot of model/spokesmodel/fit model-type. I’m sure they’re looking for love and not just exposure on tv, though…
If only it was Reid……
Jen from Tucson and Lindsey:
This is what a poster said on abc.com about Valishia:
“she is a career oriented woman who was happily married until her executive husband started messing with around with little floosies from the industry he was a part of. Even then she tried to make the relationship work… She was a faithful wife who worked full-time until they had little ones, and they decided as a couple to have her stay home so that the kids wouldn’t have to grow up in day care. Everyone who knows Valishia knows that she is a ray of sunshine, and would sacrifice anything for anyone. This woman has served over seas for a variety of humanitarian aid organizations, and helped feed and cloth the poor. I have never known someone to love and care as much as this woman.” Eek! now I feel bad that I laughed at your comments…
Good luck with your surgery and recovery!
Hmmm…those comments on ABC about Valisha make her sound just like whats-her-name from Melba Toast’s season…no? (Can’t remembert her name – you know – the “perfect” Stepford mother/widow)…
Praying for you today, Lindsay! Hope the surgery goes well and you have a quick recovery!
Duh- Lincee! Sorry – Lindsay was supposed to be Son #1’s name!
Christina has crazy written all over her!! I’m just sayin. . .you can see it in her eyes (look at that picture again)!! Can.Not.Wait!!!!
Could those girls be airbrushed any more?
what about Corrie the Wardrobe consultant? I hope during some one-on-one time she starts telling him how to dress. Or that she’s totally normal and the other girls take her seriously when she gives them bad fashion advice.
good luck on your surgery Lincee!! prayers all day for you!!!
Lincee – I read in our local (Phila) paper on Sunday that Reid’s attorney indicated they had been in negotiations with ABC to have Reid be the next bachelor but that they could not agree on terms. Looks like our pilot here is a runner up to a runner up.
I can’t wait to see the funny looks toward homemaker. what, does she constantly have a sugar daddy around to bring in some dough?
hehehe I can’t wait!!! Sheila the pilot looks like Julianne Hough. Vienna looks like Lauren from Melba Toast’s season. Stephanie the dance teacher could have the potential to be like Shannon from Melba Toast’s season, based on her profile photo alone. I think Tenley, Kirsten and Valisha will be the trainwrecks.
Good luck on the surgery Lincee! And Merry Christmas!
Only one thing came to mind when I saw your post…..Tiger Woods rejects. Oh my.
i LOVE that you said hardy, har, har…..LMAO!
Fasten your seat belts…time to brace ourselves for a season full of bad airline puns. The video preview on abc.com doesn’t get me too excited (although Jake looks gooood), but of course, I’ll tune in for Lincee’s recaps!
Lincee – Good luck with your surgery and recovery and have a Merry Christmas!
So I live in Birmingham, AL and I am not sure what Corrie the “wardrobe assistant” does. I think they should have used it in quotes ‘cuz sista is probably just a salesgirl at Belk!
Lincee – THANK YOU for the bachelorette run down. Once I saw them all posted I’ve been like one of Pavlov’s dogs waiting for your post.
Good luck with your surgery and recovery! Lots-o-prayers for you!
I’m so excited right now! Why does ABC insist on putting up these “glamour shots” pictures with the weird head tilting?
My guesses on the crazy- Ashleigh and Ella and Ali has a little bit of the “crazy eye” Also, Ali is an Ad account manager, maybe I’ve just been watching too much Mad Men but that made me snicker a bit. And then I thought of Don Draper and that made me go to my happy place.
Bow Wow! What a bunch of dogs. I guess they are scraping the bottom of the barrel for “fresh” faces on reality television. These broads couldn’t hack it in Amarillo, TX stripping at “Babes” (painful story – I was young and confused. DON’T JUDGE ME!!!).
so reading the comments on abc, and apparently alexa the entrepreneur invents things to help people make pancakes…
Please, oh please, let Reid come back if just for one day to give boring guy some advice! I’m already sad that he’s not the next Bachelor.
really sgt cole? you look at these glamour shots and say bow wow?
Anyone else think Elizabeth looks like Tooth Nazi?
I’m liking Kathryn for the whole pilot/flight attendent cliche
Lincee, best wishes for your surgery/recovery!
Ditto Old Fan – Sgt Cole are you blind? these girls are beautiful!
Hey hey hey – I’m just comparing these bimbos to the hot babes who submitted their profiles for “Big Pimpin.” The women of IHGB are way better – no contest.
SGT Cole: You are a slick one!!!
Lincee: Hope you are doing well. Can’t wait for your blogs on the new season!
Hey, Sgt. Casanova, how about an update on Lincee post-surgery?
Does anyone know Kathryn?
I agree #36, that was a pretty slick comeback, sgt. cole!
Recover quickly Lincee!
And thanks for posting… I always swear up and down that I will not force my DVR to record this show yet again. But already, I’m drawn in! And I love Jake’s smile. Haha! Looking forward to a cheese-tastic season!
That Christina looks like a blond version of crazy aggressive Megan from Jason’s season! Danger!
Pretty shells…but see what’s inside – the part that counts the most! Bring it!
I wonder if any of these job titles are listed on the Department of Labor website?
I just looked at them, and unless she is a total nutjob Elizabeth the nanny with go far I think. Men like Jake love women who love children and have a career that is not hard to give up. Plus she is really pretty. Sheila the pilot is attractive too, but I don’t think he’ll really fall in love with a woman just because they have the same job.
Can someone tell me what a “fit model” is? That is what Emily calims as her profession. Aren’t all models fit? maybe she meant a fitness model, and got confused. I wasn’t planning on watching this season, but I think I’ll tune in to watch al of the 23 year-olds tell Jake that they’re “totally” ready to be a wife and mother.
A fit model is there for designers, buyers for an unfinished piece.
I meant to say “designers and/or buyers”!
Is it just me or did a lot of the bachelorettes eyes look really weird in these shots. Maybe its because I’m teaching my students photoshop right now. But either they are all crazy (which is highly plausible) or someone did a really bad job editing the photos.
Welcome back Lincee. You missed Katherine the ‘Corporate Flight Attendant’. What better match than a pilot and a flight attendant? Can’t wait for the drama. They are already hyping on ABC’s website that one of the girls is having a relationship with one of the shows producers. Classy.
I read that Ed and Jillian come back toward the end to give him relationship advice in picking the final ones … good heavens!
Did you guys see this on Jimmy Kimmel? Tiger Woods is the next Bachelor!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnFBcwWYXfo&feature=player_embedded
Hey Reid fans – sorry if this has been posted, but Reid will be the featured realtor on HGTV’s “My First Place” on Jan.5..check your cable listings, he is helping a client in Philly buy a condo…
Your blog alone has made me interested in the Bachelor this season. I watched it when Jason was on (maternity leave) but missed Jillian. I watched tonight and hid behind my blanket in embarrassment. These girls are BAD. I am hoping that someone shines through! Please keep the comments coming as I agree with all of them. Homemaker or whatever!!!
Add A Comment