GUEST BLOGGER KYLE IS BACK! LET US HEAR WHO YOU ARE ROOTING FOR IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.
For the record, TEAM BOWERSOX!
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Before I dive head first into something that is so important, yet so much of a waste of time, I had to share something. I would like to title this section:
You know your old and kind of pathetic when …
I work with high school kids. And man, I love my job and love working with them. Yes there are times when I think to myself: “I’m 30 and hanging out in the basketball stands.” But you know? It’s great. However, to answer the title of this section, the following two things were said to me on Tuesday at a baseball game by the same person (a junior in high school) within a minute of each other.
- “My parents are 35 and 36, Kyle. That is real close to your age.” So a 16 year old girl has parents the same age as me. I am becoming older than I ever thought I would.
- “Kyle, how come you are not married?” What I said was, “I don’t know,” as I shrugged my shoulders and tried to be all innocent and unknowing. What I wanted to say was, “Well sweetie, Kyle here has more issues than most of the Jersey Shore cast combined.”
Ok, I got that off my chest. I just had to share that random stuff with people that I don’t really know. Feel better?
Back on track.
I realized something about the show last night. This is not something that I am excited about or happy to even write. There is a great chance that I am wrong, and please heaven help me that I am wrong. Here is what I was thinking:
Barry Sanders, one of the greatest running backs of all time, retired in 1998. I think many people would agree that he retired way too early. I, for one, would have loved him to keep playing and never stop, because he was one of the greatest parts of football and was captivating to so many people. Now, compare that to, oh I don’t know, let’s say the Police Academy Movies. The first few were great. I am serious. Go and watch them, because they are hilarious. Granted, it looked like they filmed them in an afternoon with a Panasonic hand held camera, but the humor was great. They started making them and cranking them out, and then before you know it there were like 47 of them. And they were desperate, making Mission in Moscow, City Under Siege, Cops in China, Tackelberry sings the blues, etc. And you started thinking, “Why didn’t they stop at the one where they went to Miami, and possibly even before that?” Because they were good, but they just kept sucking the life out of the movies they were making. You know Callahan was always the ‘hot’ one, but when you are 68 years old trying to play the mid 30s hot cop, it is real hard to swing that. And when Hightower is walking in using a walker, and Motor Mouth Jones has to using a breathing machine to make his helicopter sounds, you may want to pull the plug on the franchise.
I go on that huge rant, because I feel like that is what MAY be happening to American Idol. I am not saying we are there now, but are we in the middle of Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach. Are they going to jump the shark pretty soon and have Robin Williams and Chad Kroeger become judges for the show? I don’t want my last memories of Idol to be of Randy becoming senile and telling everyone, “Dawg, I don’t know, it was just like, I don’t know where you were, I just feel like ….. I don’t know E?” Or Ellen saying, “I love your voice and I love you and {insert funny random smart a comment here}.”
Here are some things I am noticing about the show that make me think this might happen:
- When did the show become the Price is Right? Introducing the judges the way they do is so random and weird. I do not understand why they do that. I can actually hear Rod Roddy saying, “Simon, Randy, Kara, and Ellen— come on down! You are the next judges on American Idol.” It just seems so weird. You can tell Simon and Ellen don’t totally love it. Randy is just confused on where he is. Kara, on the other hand, LOVES the attention. Watch her when she walks out, she ignores everyone and I can hear her say, “Here I am world! Drink me in! I am the best thing you have ever seen! Go on. Keep looking. Don’t even blink, because as soon as you blink, I may be off the stage.”
-If you watch the show, you could have fast forwarded it to the seven minute mark and watched it from there on out, because you would not have missed anything. There was weird sexual tension between all of them. Ryan tried to start conversation with the judges. Randy was laughing and wishing he could go home. Ellen looked like a deer in headlights because she is not quite sure still how to be a judge. Kara was Kara (I think we all know how I feel), and Simon saying to himself, “Alright buddy. A few more episodes and you are done forever. You can go back to Jolly ole England (or wherever he lives) and never come back to this godforsaken island and get away from these random annoying people.” I think that is why he is hovering over Kara when he sits there. He just legitimately doesn’t care anymore.Miley Cyrus? Miley Cyrus? Really…Miley Cyrus? You are going to have her judge the show where mostly 20 somethings are competing to have a chance to change their future? Here is my deal with that. I don’t think Hannah was horrible. She is a good singer, has some talent and gave a little bit of good advice. But for me, you can not have someone that young sit in front of people and tell them how to sing better, or how to have good stage presence. It just doesn’t make sense at all. I mean, the only reason you do that is so that all the young teeny boppers back home watch the show. Why not throw in Justin Bieber, Little Billy Gillman and Aaron Carter to round out the stellar advice giving talent? In 10 years, Hannah could be great, but now? Miley, really, Miley Cyrus?
-The beginning of the results show seemed like I was watching a recruitment video for the US Army. Between the music and the graphics and messages like, “If you go home, you will probably die.” And “The rest of your life hinges on this show.” I felt like I wanted to enlist in Idol and go fight in a battle. There were probably subliminal messages hidden in the show saying, “Watch me. Please watch me. I know we are reaching, but still watch me.”
-Why would they pick “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go?” I think the problem with it is not the song, but the performance. Last year (maybe earlier) they started lip syncing them. Since then, they have been bordering on terrible ever since. Last night they sealed the deal with being bad. It was just kind of insulting to them. It looks so corny and not well planned out. I felt like I was watching a bad episode of Kids Incorporated, except Jennifer Love Hewitt wasn’t on the stage dancing and singing.
-The whole beginning of the results show where Ryan asks questions was just strange. Here is what we figured out about some of the contestants:
A. Katie’s dad is a drunk. Thanks Ryan for calling him that.
B. Casey is creating some sort of drama out of nothing.
C. Really? That was Siobhan’s boss? You mean the second freakiset looking weird person in the room? Totally wouldn’t have been able to pick that out.
I know I said this and wrote it out, but I am hoping and praying that I am so wrong.
Here we go with the show. You may not realize this according to the above evidence, but I did enjoy parts of the show. So, ala Clint Eastwood, I am going to separate it into the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
THE GOOD
Lee
I really like him a lot. I really like that song a lot. Now I didn’t love him singing it, but I thought it was good. I loved that he didn’t have a guitar and that he stepped out from behind his comfort zone. It looked pretty good. He was taking the advice he got from the judges and seems like he broke out of his shell a little bit. I still think he has the best voice on the show. I would buy something he is selling.
Aaron
I loved his song choice. It was probably the best of the night. I love that he knows his range and doesn’t try to sing out of it. And it was good to see our little boy become a man. Because when he walked into the room with Miley, I swear I have never seen someone so happy. I was pretty impressed how well he sang in front of her. The thing I loved was that he sang good even though he was sick and his voice was shot. At such a young age, he stood up there and did great with a lot against him. But what was up with Ryan writing out the question? Did that make sense to anyone else? Ryan pulls out a piece of paper to write the questions for Aaron. I was actually yelling at the TV, “Ryan! He isn’t deaf. He can hear your questions. Just ask him and have the write it down.” C’mon Seacrest.
Crystal
Would anyone else have paid money to watch the whole Miley/Crystal practice? I can envision Crystal walking in saying, “Look, I am just coming in here because the show is making me. Let’s make nice. Sign my guitar and let’s get on with this.” She really does have a great voice. I love hearing her and it sounds awesome. There are two things I am a bit nervous about.
A. I hope she steps out from her guitar. She hinted at that she might and I hope she does it next week. I think then you will be able to see if she has confidence and hope she sounds when she doesn’t have her comfort zone to stand behind.
B. Each of her performances sound the same. Granted, they are awesome. I love her voice and she is one of the few that is picking the right songs. I just feel that they have all sounded the same—not a whole lot of diversity. I would love her to try some Norah Jones or Diana Krall. I think that would be different than what she has sung already.
Michael
He has found his niche the past few weeks. He can hit some of the high notes really well and sounds good when he does it. It was kind of a boring performance. There’s nothing too fancy and did seem like a lounge act. It was good…not great. Simon said he wasn’t relevant. If I am being honest, I do not know what he means when he says that. I know what the word relevant means, but a lot of the times Simon says it and it really seems like it doesn’t make sense. Another sign that Simon is fading out and praying for the end.
DiDi
I know I may be in the minority on this, but I liked the song. I think she sounded good and sang as best as she could. She changed it up a bit and did some fun things with it. It was a random choice of song, but I think it fit her well. She ended the song real well and ended on a high. I will say this though—no one there is helping them pick songs. There were really only about two good song choices the entire night. I do not understand how you can be given a catalog of thousands of songs and pick some of the ones that were picked. I hope this changes.
GOOD SIDEBAR
I have these side bars because
- This is my post and really I can do whatever I want.
- I can not stay on a topic for longer than 3 minutes
The best part of the Idol show was the ad for Glee. I am so excited for this to start back. It is one of the best shows on TV. It is extremely well written and so funny. The writers are creative and really want to make an interesting show. If you have not seen it, then I just plain feel sorry for you. Go rent the first season right now.
THE BAD
Paige
This was terrible. When I heard she was singing “Against All Odds,” I got kind of excited, mainly because it is one of my favorite songs. And not just the Phil Collins version either. A few years back, on America’s Got Talent, a guy named Eli Mattson sang it, and it was incredible. Sounded nothing like the original, but still was awesome. Paige butchered this song. When it started, I was praying for it to end. It was like when a friend and I went to see Dragon Wars, and about five minutes into the movie, we both realized we had made a mistake and should leave. But we didn’t say anything to each other, because we thought the other person really wanted to stay. I wanted to fast forward so bad, but I wasn’t sure if others wanted to watch it. It was horrible, and the sad thing was, she knew it was her turn to leave. And when she sang at the end of the show last night, she did awesome. She has a great voice, but the performance was on Tuesday was horrible.
Andrew
Poor guy just isn’t good. He really did ruin that song and like Simon said, sucked the soul right out. I feel bad for him because he had that one good performance, and since then, has been on a downward slide. It just isn’t his show.
THE UGLY
Tim
This is self explanatory. I found myself saying, “Man. I hope he steps out from behind the guitar.” And he did. But then I found myself saying, “I hope he steps out from behind the mic stand.” And when he did, I was yelling, “DUDE. GET BACK BEHIND THE STAND AND GRAB YOUR GUITAR! FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYTHING HOLY MAN. DO IT!” He looked so awkward on the stage and seemed like he didn’t really want to be there. It was a horrific performance.
Siobhan
When I heard she was about to sing, I had to run into the other room and peek around the corner, because I wasn’t sure I was going to be ready for this. And I wasn’t. She kind of looked like Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell when he dressed up like a nerd to join the Math club. This is totally random and confusing. Why dress up like this? I had thoughts of Senjaya with the hair. Remember him? Let’s all take a moment of silence for him.
That’s good. Bottom line—Siobhan scares me.
The Rest
Katie and Casey
Not horrible. Not great. Honestly, nothing really exciting about them. They have good voices but never really use them. Casey stays behind his guitar the whole time and Katie needs to stop picking pop star songs. If they don’t change something, they will be gone soon. And how about pulling Katie to the bottom three for 45 seconds before sending her back? Here little girl. Soil yourself. Just kidding. You are safe.
Also, the best performance of the year was when Matt and Scott were dueling pianos. That was awesome and the only Idol I have saved on DVR to watch again and again.
Thanks for listening. What do you all think? I’d love to hear your comments. Who do you love? Who do you not love? Am I drunk, smoking crack or do you like it?
Happy reading.
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