At first glance
Monday is the big day people. America is pulling for Ali to find her one true love. And the producers have gone above and beyond to compile, how shall I put this delicately…an interesting group of young suitors.
In keeping with tradition, I’ve selected a few of Ali’s gentlemen callers that in some way caught my eye. I feel the following will definitely get a bid to the next round of manic chaos.
Meet Justin
No, no. This isn’t the newest member of Jersey Shore who goes by the name “The State of Affairs.” Justin here is from Toronto, Canada, eh? He’s all aboot wrestling. That’s his occupation. Oh yah. That chain around his neck has a diamond encrusted JYD at the end of it. It was too “street” for ABC to show on their website. And tattoo count? Let’s just say there’s a maple leaf in a certain place that Ali shouldn’t see until the top secret forgo card fantasy suite date. Now that’s wicked.
Meet Derek
When I look at Derek, I can’t help but want to kiss him. It’s probably because I’m out of my Dr Pepper lip smacker and one smooch from this guy will last me for days.
Meet one of the Chris’
Let’s pause and take a good long look at his t-shirt. Home Boy is rockin’ the periodic chart of elements! I say, “Bravo! Well done Chris #2!” You embraced your inner nerd and refused to wear the gem-colored perfect tee from the Gap that the ABC fashion assistant insisted you try on upon seeing your photo shoot costume of choice. You agree with her that salmon and teal are indeed in your color pallet, yet you maintain true to your roots and educate her on the difference between Boron and Beryllium. Once she is transfixed by your dorky ways, you teach her that O2 is the symbol for oxygen, which is really just gin, and you ask the ABC intern who is holding the ABC make-up artist’s array of various tinted foundation to run and fetch you a O2 and tonic. Let’s face it. Chris #2 needs a sweet girl on his arm when he wins his Pulitzer Prize. I predict he will go far.
Meet Kirk
Kirk is an All-American boy from Wisconsin.
Attributes: honesty, integrity and persistence
Role Model: Lance Armstrong
Tattoo: one…a bald eagle in front of Old Glory
Gap Perfect Tee: check
I think we may have a contender ladies and gentlemen.
Meet Kyle
I like Kyle. He was the only one that didn’t apply an absurd amount of hair product to his head of curls. And even though the ABC fashion consultant turned her nose up at his button up he wore as an homage to Kurt Cobain, he was nice enough to humor her by wearing the perfect Gap tee in sea breeze underneath the flannel. One may assume from the tooth hanging around his neck that he is a fisherman from Alaska, but one would be wrong. He’s a plaid-wearing lumberjack from Colorado. Actually, I made that up. According to his bio, he’s an outdoorsman. I’m going to go ahead and put that career choice in the “socialite” and “prince” category. But he did graduate from Fire Fighter’s Academy with honors. Only you can prevent forest fires. And when you are a certified outdoorsman, you better do it with honors.
Can’t wait for tomorrows recap…buy we are on opposite pages in the pick dept! Love your blog though!
*HUGS*
i’m gonna come right out and say this even though no one else is commenting really.
I HATE frank. it’s totally because he reminds me of someone I used to “hang out” with. Ugh. I shudder every time he’s on the screen.
OH NO HE DIDN’T!!!! SHOOTER?!!?!?!?!?!!? LOL
Apparently if you eat a rose you take it into your soul forever. Who knew?
OMG it’s Britney Spears!!
is craig with the hair (i will never learn their last initials, so i’m going with descriptors) be this season’s scary david?
I do believe he is, Marus. I totally missed the Shooter story. Please fill me in. Can’t wait to rewind.
All in all good choices. Craig R is a little tattle tail. Don’t like him. Craig M is HOT but maybe a phyco! My top 4 are: Justin, Chris L. Jesse, and Roberto.
Rena, you won’t believe it! Can you say pre-ejaculation!!!! ROFLMAO!!!
#57 Rena, he, um, prematurely… shot. in college. yeah. he really told that story.
My favorite is Chris L. I really respect that he didn’t come right out and tell her about his mom dying in order to make himself look good.
OMG! And he thought he would stay?
Totally agree about Chris L. Frank is gorgeous. She seems to really connect with Robert-O.
#56, Marus and #57, Rena…..I thought the same thing about Craig ….he is definitely this season’s angry David!!! I laughed so hard when he sneakily took extra slips of paper for the send-home box with that psycho look on his face…..LOL……I think he looks like John Black from Days of Our Lives circa 1995……hehehehe…..he has to be at least 40 years old!! At least!!
Kirk is from my hometown of Green Bay, WI.! He’s a great guy; very sincere and real and great family! Should be very interesting!! Hope he makes it to the hometown date!
Oh…my…awesomeness let the train wreck begin. That cheat sheet was a god send tonight. Anyhoo I am going with Craig and Jason to be this seasons CRazy Dave/bug eyes dudes. And sorry to the Kirk lovers but the preview makes him look like he has issues (could be editing) and Jonathan so…NOT funny who did he think he was Chandler Bing? I like Jesse and Roberto so far but think Justin is also gonna be here awhile he has the bad boy vibe Ali likes. And Derek….bless his heart but someone on another post said he looks like Lord of The RIngs….yeah he had a Golem vibe wanted him to call Ali his precious:) Anyway let the drama begin…can not wait for the recap!
Ali’s gap-tooth smile was driving me nuts! And her hair is a mess. OMG Kasey is such a crybaby Jake wannabe! Chris with the chemistry tshirt seemed genuine, and Roberto is great, and nice. Justin made me throw up in my mouth. “Hair” is a psycho. Um, did anyone else see the guy wearing a speedo in the preview? So much material for Lincee, and I can’t wait to read what Some Guy in Austin says too!
Craig – “I’m so glad you aren’t Vienna!” Could not stop laughing – had to watch it over and over. Too funny!
Did, um, “Shooter” really think that story was going to put her at ease??
#38 Sarah and #44 Aggie Fan, I went to high school with Hunter, he is a great guy, hope he goes far.
Can’t stand Craig M., what a tool!
Just a few observances from tonight’s show-
*Psycho Craig totally looked like Steven Webber from “Wings” & the made for TV movie, “The Shinning”.
*Ali’s 5 inches of bangs that she kept trying to put behind her ear was super annoying!
*Shooter???????? Enough said!
* ABC’s segway shots from the show to commercial of Ali’s side profile, I’m sorry, reminded me of a Massengill commercial print ad (google it!)
Never felt the love for Ali last season so this season is going to be especially tough! Thank goodness for Lincee’s blog and the good comments!
Oh, why did ABC have to put a guy on the show with a toupee? I couldn’t watch him without laughin’….Frank is a girly-man like Jason….and that’s not good…..Lincee, do NOT let that goofball weatherman from Houston know you’re available and habitate in the same area…..stay far, far away….
Shooter has locked up his spot in the priesthood….he won’t get another date with a girl and I THINK it’s the accepted norm for a guy to spank his own monkey under all those robes.
I kind of liked the Peculiar man, the chem geek, and Roberto and his macho genes.
Can’t wait for the recap.
I like Ali. I mean, I don’t want to be her best friend- but I don’t understand all the Ali hate. She was holding that dress up awkwardly- but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that was because she was freezing.
The long and short is- I love Cape Cod!
I think I’m liking Chris L from Cape Cod (one of my favorite places on earth). He’s a sweetheart – I think I understand why he didn’t blurt out that his mom was dead…would have made Ali feel awkward.
Craig (hair) – ack!
Can’t wait for the Shooter recap! Why would anyone think saying that on national TV was a good thing?
Oh my goodness! thank you for the link to Hunter’s wedding toast song. I watched all 8 minutes and he’s ADORABLE and hilarious. Go Hunter!!!
I missed you Lincee!!!!! Can’t wait to read your hilarious insight into this show. My friends and I had a lovely evening of pausing and replaying all the crazies.
Agreed about Craig Hair being crazy!
And, did anyone else think Ali really went easy on the Wrestler. All of the guys dime him out for being fake, and she lets him through with, “I think it is because of my job, but it is something I’m passionate about.” I bet “He who shouldn’t be named” was pretty passionate about his singing career, too!
Totally like Chris L, although not sure I like him for Ali….think he would be a much better match for me! I would totally be rooting for him if I didn’t find Ali so annoying after last season’s sob/snot fest.
Ok…am I the only one who noticed this. Jonathan the weather man….Tom Cruise look alike?!?! Just me. I initially thought he was too pretty when he came on screen…and he is. There’s man pretty – you look manly while being hot (i.e. Roberto – YUM), then there’s pretty and you are too pretty like a woman but you are a man (does that make sense)? Well the more they showed him the more I got a Tom Cruise vibe look at certain angles. ICK! Not a fan.
I’ll take Roberto though!
Justin seems like a TOOL!!! Craig (the older one w/ all the hair) not bad looking but something is clearly off! I have to look them up to remember the others I thought were cute and nice but my potential list isn’t long. lol
Oh CHI-TOWN represent!!! I liked Frank. Seems to have a lot of energy. We’ll see. Can’t remember the other Chicago guy but I don’t think she picked him.
Oh and yes whoever said upthread that Ali looked different. I agree. It was the first thing I said. I can’t quite place it but the makeup did look to be the wrong color is in some light. And her hunching up her shoulders and actlng like she coudln’t walk in that dress and heels was bugging me!
I’m thinking Ali had hair extensions (don’t think her hair would have grown that much in a few months!) She’s looking more like Vienna!
Very sly ABC. Drum up the drama the first night with the ballot box and force the girl to consider/keep the person the rest of the group is the most worked up about. What about the runner up for bad boy? Suprised they didn’t announce that too.
Liked Jesse, Roberto, the nice Chris, Hunter, Kirk and Ty. Not really on the Frank wagon. I think he would be fun to have around more like a BFF. Loved the guy that said he was glad she was not Vienna!
Felt bad for Kyle, oh well, perhaps some “outdoorswoman” will find him now. I am certain that Mother Nature is an equal opportunity employer.
Off topic – Jen Schefft is pregnant. good for her. http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/bachelorette-jen-schefft-is-pregnant-1551515.story?gt1=28135
anyone watch the previews?
looks like we’re going to have quite a few more sob/snotfests. Ugh. Ali is NOT a pretty crier. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not either. But then, I also did not go on tv and sob all over the place.
also, these sorts of sentiments kill me: “I am shocked that he would do that!” “I gave up everything to be here!” etc etc. Really? Because this show has such an AWSOME track record of successful relationships?
ugh. pretty sure i’m going to be snarkier than usual this season…
Ali had bad make-up and hair extensions and a bad dress. She looked fake tanned.
I like the following guys – Chris L (his picture did not do him justice – he is adorable and sweet), Jesse (he is young so I am sure we will hear about that and I predict he is the “bad boy” – he was guy with hot body and tattoos, YUM!) , and Roberto (i was surprised she liked him…i predict he is the guy with the girlfriend who walks away and she says “You want to go out this way …you will regret this…”).
Kasey is sad and unfortunately, psycho.
Hair for Men will need anger management.
Kirk and his photo albun/scrapbook will not make it far – no chemistry.
Frank odddly cute with his chipped tooth and glasses – this seasons Reid.
Jonathan (weatherman) – he is more like a little brother and way to short…and annoying..
Craig – he is Shrek, her protector but will not last
I did a pretty good job of identifying who Ali would choose – there were two about which I said “bleah” that she kept, but then I realized there were 17 roses and not 15 last night, so I’ll pretend like the two “extra” were those two.
I like Cape Cod Chris and Ty from Nashville if for no other reason than that they have great dogs. While it is true that some icky guys have great dogs, mostly a great dog is a good indicator. I like Frank but agree that he would be the guy I’d want at all my parties, not necessarily the guy I’d want to marry. Roberto is pretty yummy but the first impression rose person rarely has ‘legs.’ We’ll see. I liked the scrapbook guy – he’s either gay or really secure. I’m going to go with the latter for the time being.
Craig M the hair guy of course looks like Patrick Dempsey, but he also reminds me of the guy from Jillian’s season – the model who made the unfortunate mistake at the first cocktail party of calling Michael out for a breakdancing contest. He of course got PWNd and was revealed for the tool he really was. He also kinda looks like Byron the bass fisherman. Also he looks kind of crazy – like the kind of guy has some secret fetish or obsession. We’ll see, but he seems to have the most trainwreck potential of the first night survivors.
Cannot wait for the recap! There was so much good stuff. Oh, and the guy who did the backflip off of the limo must have been a real jerk – you would think that move would have gotten him a first night rose, in and of itself!
#82 – Bachelorette said, Jonathan (weatherman) – he is more like a little brother and way to short…and annoying..
(read) my comment of him being Tom Cruise look alike!!! TC Annoys the crap out of me!!! I know someone will agree with me on this. lol And his…hesitation of accepting the rose…yeha dude…that wasn’t even funny – get a sense of humor.
Oh and I liked Hunter’s song….seems like a funny guy.
Hey # 69, witchywoman, good call on Craig = Steven Weber! I was getting some young Michael Douglas vibes from him. I agree with all the comments on Ali’s dress being a poor fit and color choice for her. Haven’t B-ettes of past seasons also had to deal with poorly fitting M & G dresses? I think it’s deliberate for the audiences’ reaction. It worked!
I have to go back and really watch now. Last night I had too many other things going on at the same time. Did the guy from Peculiar MO get a rose? Have to root for him, I used to drive through Peculiar on my way to college. There was one guy I thought was gay as soon as he walked up to Ali. And Alis hair was awful. With that dress they surely could have done something better with her hair. And the dress reminded me of a Barbie dress from the 60s.
Tried to watch and couldn’t handle how Ali had to constantly hold up her dress to walk. Dear ABC, how about getting her something that fits?
I did catch the previews and couldn’t believe her “I gave up everything to be here” line. Umm, didn’t she do this same thing to Jake last year? My god, she was the only one I think had a chance to beat Vienna and instead she quit, which will leave us subjected to Jake and Vienna dancing together on the DWTS finale tonight. Thanks a lot Ali!!
I actually like Ali, don’t be hatin’ (!) The dress kept falling off her shoulders and was too long, deinitely rocking some extensions…why? But that girl can juggle a soccer ball. Rather see her in a ponytail and jeans…
But so many of these guys…scrapbook, paper rose, CZ ring–seriously? I liked Roberto, because he was just a GUY. There weren’t that many “just GUYS” in the group–who told them they all have to have some kind of schtick? Well, of course Shooter has one….oh, poor guy: as one of my girlfriend’s said” this is the ONE time the guy could have reinvented himself with his REAL name, then had the story come out at a hometown date after Ali has already had a few rounds in the hot tub with him….aye yi yi. I really wanted to like the weatherman based on the preview, but alas…Hunter turns out to be the more genuine, funny guy.
Too many internet account executives
Too many Chris-es
Too little Kiptonite….
#86, Jesse from Peculiar DID get a rose. I am pulling for him! GO MISSOURI!
and another thing…did you all hear that she left her job AND her apartment???
C’mon Lincee, where’s the recap????????
i would like to thank seagram’s gin for getting me through last night.
Blahchelorette Said,
Ali had bad make-up and hair extensions and a bad dress. She looked fake tanned.
NO KIDDING. I liked Ali as a nicely sun-kissed blonde, not looking like she’d just rolled around in a huge vat of Ban de Soleil super tanning cream. And that piece of super-hairsprayed hair she kept trying to push out of her eyes was driving me bonkers.
OK…. love Cape Cod (Chris L) and I love Justin. We’ll see….
OK I cannot wait any longer for your recap! Please post ASAP!
Some first thoughts –
- Crazy Craig, anyone here watch 30 Rock, where Liz and Jenna are talking to two guys in the elevator whom they call The Head and The Hair? All I could think last night while looking at this guy was “The Hair”.
- Did anyone else think that when Kasey spoke he sounded like the teacher/speaker box from Charlie Brown? Drove me crazy!
- Early front runners, Roberto (steamy) and Chris L. I think they will both go far!
Can’t wait for the recap Lincee!!!
I liked Ali last season but she seemed uncomfortable last night and I couldn’t figure out why (other than the obvious awkwardness of being in a room with 25 goofy guys) until I read some of the comments here. Last season Ali was so breezy and cute – she was always wearing shorter, bright dresses and she looked so comfortable in her own skin, which she totally did in the opening last night. But then they put her in that dress and those stringy extensions – it just wasn’t “her.” I hope they bring back the sunny yellow and start letting her put her hair back up.
Justin was put on the show solely for blog fodder. I can’t wait to see what Lincee comes up with!
I think my overall sentiments on the guys so far can was best summed up by #88 Susie Q…
“Too many internet account executives
Too many Chris-es
Too little Kiptonite….”
Also, when we saw an actual person bringing out that ballot box and it didn’t appear out of thin air, was anyone else disappointed that it wasn’t a spry-looking ABC Intern, and instead was a burly looking stage hand? Come on. You know the Intern was upset that some random person got to take out the notecards he had so carefully cut out of the bits of scrapbook paper that went unused by Scapbook Guy.
#96 KT – Re: Kasey sounding like the teacher from Charlie Brown – OMG, YES! Although I was totally thinking Kermit. Actually, at first I was wondering if maybe he had a hearing problem. He sounded like he was deaf or something. But I couldn’t see any hearing aids or obvious lip reading, so maybe he just has a weird voice.
I’m totally pulling for Chris from Cape Cod. He seems the most genuine and classy, with not bringing up his mom’s death on the first night for the sympathy vote. And there’s definitely something sexy about a man who loves his dogs.
Oh, and re: Ali looking different: her face looked botoxed to me. It just didn’t move naturally when she talked. But maybe she was just cold or something and her lips were frozen?