Bachelor Recap: Women Tell All in 140 Characters or Less
The “Women Tell All” episode is a right of passage for viewers. ABC insists on making us sit through roughly one hour of B-roll footage we’ve already seen, 30 minutes of mind-numbing female bickering, 10 minutes of actual entertaining information and 20 minutes of Our Host Chris Harrison casually, yet masterfully tossing fuel on the fire before we are allowed to secure our bets and see who Groban will choose to be his betrothed for the next contractually obligated three months.
Since I watched the show’s live taping (that lasted roughly nine and a half hours), I’ll be recapping the behind the scenes moments that were NOT aired last night. Look for that post later this week. It will include interviews from Groban, Emily, Nicki and Kacie B. Of course, my questions were unconventional. Groban was not a fan, but I did crack him at the very end. VICTORY! I can’t wait to share them with you!
But first things first. The “Women Tell All” has never really delivered any moments of true drama since the day Jason Mesnick told Melissa, “I love you, just kidding.” Last night was no different. In the interest of saving both your time and mine, I decided to recap the top moments by using the Twitter parameters of 140 characters or less.
AMBER
It’s not creepy that I just sit here and react when someone says something shocking. I’m Amber T for crying out loud! #lastnamemustbeFleiss
JAMIE
I stand behind and straddled upon my decision to give Grobe a lap dance. I hope he calls me when this thing goes south. #quittingisforlosers
MONICA
Just because my hair is both blond and brunette does not mean I can’t make decisions. I love the crazy blogger girl! #willyouacceptthistampon
MISS PACIFIC PALISADES
I am not a Chihuahua you BLEEP! I have important things to say and must give my opinion since I was kicked off early. #yoquierodrama
JACLYN
On a scale of 1 to 10, this tangerine dress does not translate well on TV. Glad Emily is in front of me to cover my biz. #bachpaadhereicome
ERIKA
I wish I had said anything other than admitting my thighs were big. What was I thinking? I should show my inner lip tattoo. #WTApartyfoul
BRITTNEY
I can’t stand chick drama. The Chihuahua is about to get cut. Screw ladylike manners. Sorry Nana. Bite me producers. #feistyisthenewBrittney
ELYSE
Do you think they bought it when I said I actually knew who Shawntel was even though my reaction was a season catch phrase? #WHOISTHATGIRL
JENNA
Yes! The producers decided to not focus on my complete meltdown with Monica. What could be more embarrassing? #yesiwillacceptthistampon
JENNIFER
Everyone loves red hair and cute people. Why did he send me home instead of Jugs? What does she have that I don’t? #boobstrumpcute,red
RACHEL
I don’t understand why everyone is yelling. What is up with the Chihuahua and why does Jugs get so much air time? #canigetacombforthesebangs
CASEY S.
I feel stupid wearing a long formal dress when everyone is in short, tight, jewel tone sparkly frocks with nude heels. #courtneyismyhomegirl
JUGS MCGEE
You called me a stripper, but you took your clothes off on TV. However, I used Grobe as a pole whilst dancing once. #potcallingkettleblack
EMILY
I am super cute, smart, funny and a lyrical gangster. I totally dodged a bullet with Grobe. Dimples are adorable. #domynipplesshowinthisdress
NICKI
I don’t understand why Kacie B. gets to sit on the end when I was third runner up. Whatever. Just keep your mouth shut. #iheartGrobanforever
KACIE B.
This plunging neckline makes me feel like I’m getting ready for open heart surgery. I’m a rebel. A sweet, sweet rebel. #fetchmemybaton
SHAWNTEL
Did Harrison just call me “the embalmer” from Chico? How is that girl ever going to learn who I am if he doesn’t use my name? #partycrasher
COURTNEY
Apologizing is hard. But crying fake tears is even harder. Kudos to me for not touching my hair! Tabloids are the devil. #15minfame=winning
GROBAN
Grey is cool. Emily is hot. Jamie is challenged. Who is that chick on the end? I wish I was in Harrison’s entourage. #canIborrowyourflatiron
OUR HOST CHRIS HARRISON
These girls have mouths like sailors. Someone get me a stiff drink. I wonder if I can get that blogger to say tampon. #watchthemasteratwork
Let’s hear your tweets in the comment section! Remember…140 characters or less. And don’t forget to send me watching party pics! Check back Thursday for the juicy details of my trip to the Hollywood taping! #allabouttheshamenotthefame
Oops I forgot . . . #ben+courtneyisjustfine
Gangsta Emily has new fans. I’m one too. #itwasJoeSchmo Hilarious. Please make this season stop. #whocareshowitends
We owe you millions Courtney. This game show would have been boring without you. #ABC
As an openly gay man who watches this show I want to say a few words.
First off they should do a gay bachelor, that would be great.
Im am not attracted to Ben..I really liked Jake and Ames (both of whom I think are closet gay)
WTA- What a waste..silly to say the least and 2 hours of bickering.
Why does Nicki keep telling Ben what a “good man” he is? Did he express doubts to her? (Kidding.)
Since when does going skinny-dipping make you a whore? I’ve gone skinny-dipping and unlike some of my friends, I have had very few partners- all products of actual relationships. Yes, it was on national television but so what, who cares? And, Emily was so holier-than-thou at the WTA that not only did she insult Courtney and looked like a fool in the end but she managed to insult Ben for telling her to tread lightly when she wouldn’t stop bringing up Courtney. You know what’s uglier than someone being mean? Someone who thinks they are better than others. Looking at you, Emily.
Sorry, I went on a rant!
Rant away, but Emily was right on every aspect. Courtney sucks, but it was Ben who should have said no to skinny dipping. Not in this venue. #weregoingstreaking!
Maggie is right…skinny dipping does not make you a whore(just ask the folks at woodstock) but skinny dipping with a man you’ve only known for 5(?) weeks, along with flaunting your body like it’s a prize, sure brings you as close as you can get. #useacondom #benisaplaya #courtneyistrash
Lincee, please establish some signs for us the next time you are on WTA and the cameras come your way. #earlobepullingisastart
did anyone else notice it looked like Groban was putting on a condom before the skinny dipping incident #modelbangingintheocean
I’m a straight woman and I’d audition for Gangsta Emily’s B-ette season if it happened. #YesIWillAcceptThisRose
TanyaT – okay you won me over, instead of looking like a little Dutch boy, he looks more like Francine.
Jill,
Now that you mention it, yeah it did look like he was putting on a condom…ewww
#tryingnottopicture…
I see in the LA Time article that Ben complained to show insiders that he was sick of all of this and he wants to be done. #youcantgoawayfastenoughdude
Really disappointed by the things they didn’t bring up…Jenna’s meltdown, Monica and Blakely love fest, oh and the bloppers sucked this year #Grobanisatool
Really disappointed by the things they didn’t bring up…Jenna’s meltdown, Monica and Blakely love fest, oh and the bloopers sucked this year #Grobanisatool
@Shelley, I just read the LA times article! OMG! #benisungratefuldbag
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/the-bachelor/
Apologies if someone posted this already….
I think I spotted Lincee in the audience. Green top, blonde hair in curl ringlets?
Hilarious!!! One of my favorite posts! #Bestbloggerever
I agree, ABC, switch the Emilys for the next Bachelorette. #Ainttooproudtobeg
I’m getting impatient! I want to hear the behind the scenes stuff!
#boredatwork
WHERE IS YOUR POST OF THE INTERVIEWS! I AM DYING! It’s THURSDAY AFTERNOON! Give it!
I thought it was interesting that OHCH never seemed to ask Ben if he is happy and engaged now. Usually they make a big deal about how happy they are and if there is a big engagement. Ben didn’t look happy in the least and from the sounds of it, can’t wait to be done with this whole shenanigan. #kickinghimselfnow
Hi Lincee – love the blog. Like Julie, have looked forward to Thursday all week for your interviews! Will you post an update please about when they’ll be posted?
As much as I love the Groban comparison, there’s also this: http://pinterest.com/pin/216876538275491562/ #thatawkwardmoment
I thought Jen was such a sweet girl, until she said (on national television) the comment about “Really? He was going to take you home to his mom, Blakeley?” I’m not defending Blakeley, I just really wish that these girls would remember that all of this is televised and they can’t take any of it back.