My thoughts on the 2015 Primetime Emmy Awards

Emmy Award

Most people watch the Primetime Emmy Awards for the fashion. I choose to take this three-hour journey as an excuse to critically analyze my DVR. After each winner is announced for a show that I do not watch or may not even knew existed, I have a serious conversation with myself to see if I should start binge watching something that everyone else deems fabulous or if I should finally fork out the extra cash to pay for HBO. Seeing Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling and Tina Fey is an added bonus.

Here are some of my favorite highlights from the night:

1.  It’s time to clean up the old DVR.
Andy Samberg’s video monologue was completely relatable. He was nervous that he hadn’t watched all the nominated shows. I too felt somewhat lost because as stated above, I haven’t watched HBO since that free weekend years ago. I also watch a lot of TV for a living and sometimes adding another show into the mix makes me huddle in a corner rocking back and forth in the fetal position nervously eating candy corn by the pound. With that said, I guess I need to schedule in Game of Thrones, Empire and something called Olive Kitteridge.

2.  It’s a d*ck in a box.
Thank you to Andy Samberg for opening the show with this very important message: “Justin Timberlake is not coming.” Otherwise, I would have anticipated it all night long.

3.  Be prepared.
Sweet Allison Janney grabbed her speech out of her purse when she won for outstanding supporting actress for Mom—another show I don’t watch. When she unfolded the speech, she found one of those little blotting strips you use for sweat, laughed about it and then proceeded to throw it behind her back. That is why this woman is holding the golden statue.

4.  A win for Buster.
Tony Hale won outstanding supporting actor for VEEP and all I could think about was, “Heeeeeyy brother.” In case you’re wondering, the answer is no, I do not watch VEEP either. Stinkin’ HBO show.

5.  They must be descendants of Ponce de Leon.
John Stamos and Rob Lowe have a magical elixir that keeps them forever young. They have new shows coming out this fall and I will be watching them both.

6.  Things that make you go, “Hmmmmmmmm….”
Why is Bradley Whitford wearing a hat inside while he presents best comedy director?

7.  Can someone pass me a couch cushion to hide behind?
Andy recited a very funny, yet embarrassing joke with the big huge version of the Emmy statue. I’ll leave it at that.

8.  World’s Best Boss
Seth Myers and Andy tried to land a joke about Lorne Michaels being the best boss in show biz. When they opened the fake envelope, Andy dead panned that Shonda Rhimes’ name was on the card. It did not go well.

9.  Presenter of the night.
Jimmy Kimmel wins the award for best presenter. His entire schtick had the audience rolling. He kept telling everyone that he could give the Emmy to whomever he thought deserved it instead of reading the name on the envelope. It killed. Especially when he “destroyed the evidence” by eating the card.

10.  Always a bridesmaid.
Amy Poehler did not win an Emmy for best actress in a comedy. That went to Julia Louis-Dreyfus for VEEP. Even though Amy capitalized the moment by wearing this, don’t feel bad for JLD—this was her fourth consecutive win.

Currently becoming one with my couch. #Emmys

A photo posted by People Magazine (@peoplemag) on

11.  I demand a re-count.
How did The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise all get overlooked for best reality show?

12.  Making lemonade out of lemons.
First of all, the theme from Ghostbusters played when James Corden came onto the stage. That is cool within itself. Then, he somehow made the accountants from Ernest & Young the underdogs of the night who deserved a standing ovation. Thank you LL Cool J for starting that ripple effect. Don’t tell anyone you were really standing up to go to the bathroom.

Regina King13.  227
Regina King won best supporting actress in a limited series or movie. I’m not quite sure what that means, but she looked absolutely amazing standing on that stage. She was completely unprepared and even thought out loud that she should have written a speech like all of the comedy winners. She did thank her son who was “the best date in the auditorium.” Adorable. You go Brenda Jenkins!

14.  What is Olive Kitteridge about?
I agree with Kelly Oxford (from Twitter) when she said, “Olive Kitteridge sounds like an American Girl Doll.” THAT’S WHY THAT NAME IS SO FAMILIAR! THANK YOU! And touché to Andy Samberg for sheepishly admitting that he had only seen half of Kitteridge. (Think about that one. You’ll get there…)

15.  The Home Box Office Company!
Hooray to Andy for giving out your HBO password so I can watch Game of Thrones and VEEP!

16.  I’m confused.
Isn’t American Horror Story a normal show? Why is it in the same category as the Olive show? What is a limited series anyway?

17.  Say good-bye to the meat dress.
Lady GaGa presented an award. She’s slightly British now.

18.  Hello ladies!
Marcia Gay Harden’s 56-year-old cleavage is a sight to behold. They are impressive enough to make the list.

19.  Who is Jon Snow? TO THE GOOGLE!
Awwwww crap. Another Game of Thrones reference that completely went over my head.

20.  #squadgoals
Mindy Kaling and Zachary Levi. Together. Presenting an award. FAVORITE PEOPLE OVERLOAD!

21.  Tell it like it is.
Amy Schumer won for Best Sketch Comedy Series and thanked the woman who gave her smoky eyes tonight. Although she was in desperate need of some sort of necklace or earring bling, this lady is funny.

22.  Life is like a box of chocolates.
Colin Hanks sounds EXACTLY like his dad Tom Hanks. It was a bit weird.

23.  Grow what your father gave you.
Will Forte’s beard deserves an Emmy.

24.  Feel the burn.
Christine Baranski was at the end of Jon Stewart’s row and had to get up 73 times to let him out to receive his numerous awards.

25.  Linea Ray would not approve.
Jaimie Alexander was in horizontal stripes and slicked back hair. She somehow made it work. She’s in that new show that looks like a female Jason Bourne. She was also in Thor. She’s engaged to Carlisle Cullen Peter Facinelli of Twilight fame.

26.  Legitimate concern:
Do I need to watch The Americans?

27.  Chivalry is not dead. Surely.
I saw three WOMEN help other women up the steps to accept their awards. Kudos to Amy Schumer, Jane Lynch and Jamie Lee Curtis for extending a helping hand to those in ginormous ball gowns.

28.  I wasn’t expecting this. Literally.
When Peter Dinklage won an award for something Game of Thrones related, he had a ponytail/tiny bun and was chewing gum. Bless him.

29.  In Memoriam
The “In Memoriam” montage gets me every time. There’s always someone I’m sad about because I didn’t know they passed away. Or I forget that we lost a beloved character this year. I’ll miss you Richard Gilmore and Leonard Nimoy.

30.  I’d like to buy the world a Coke.
Jon Hamm finally won an Emmy after his 16th nomination. He received the biggest applause of the night. And Peggy Olson was the one cheering the loudest.

31.  Welcome to Shondaland.
Viola Davis won best female actress in a drama for How To Get Away With Murder. I may have teared up during her speech.

32.  Selfie time!
Sweet Julia Louis-Dreyfus took a selfie with Mel Brooks on the stage when VEEP won something big. She definitely wins the night.

What were your favorites parts? Did your picks win? Should I start watching HBO shows? Sound off in the comments section!

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