A shower of rose petals? Really DWTS?

You all know by now how much I love the art of dancing.  Naturally, my DVR is very happy when Dancing with the “Stars” returns to TV each fall and spring.

However, Jake eeking out his 15 minutes of fame on yet another reality show is somewhat chachy to me.  But then I stop and think to myself, “Duh Lincee.  Jake is a chach.  It makes total sense.”

Then I see him with my favorite female pro Chelsea and think he’s darling!

Then they roll lame footage of him at an airport somewhere giving the ramp agent a rose while cha-cha-cha-ing.  Un-cool.

Let’s face it people.  Jake and I will always ebb and flow.  My “relationship” with him is like the scars on my knee — ugly but permanent.

Here are my thoughts from last night’s debut of Jake’s Viennese Waltz:

– Note to Jake:  Please for the love of all things sequined and feathery — refrain from doing the white man overbite.  It’s not funny.  We feel sorry for Chelsea when you do that.

– Why on God’s precious green earth is GIA in the audience?  Sitting next to Vienna of all people?  I’m going to have to assume that she used her connections to attract the attention of Maksim Chmerkovskiy and for that, I can’t really blame her.  You go Gia.

– Seriously DWTS?  Jake is dancing to Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose?”  I don’t know if that is seriously cheese-tastic or the most awesome thing ever.  This has to be the brain child of Our Host Chris Harrison.

Look!  It’s my sister’s prom date!  Doesn’t his pink bow tie and cummerbund look sweet with her dress? Hey wardrobe department… if you insist on bringing 1990 back, try a short mini skirt with knee socks for Chelsea and lots of denim with big white tennis shoes for Jake.  Think Cher Horowitz and Zack Morris.  It’s a much better look.

– It’s true that Jake actually danced the choreography okay.  But then we see him in the new knock-off of American Idol Celebudome as he hears his middle-of-the-pack score.  I had to fast forward the TV because he was jumping up and down not only like a girl, but a five-year-old girl at that.  Calm down rose boy.

That’s all I’ve got.  Did you guys watch?  Who are your early favorites?

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Sarah.
Sarah.
10 years ago

Jake is a dweeb. He needs to go eat his spaghetti with Vienna somewhere where we never have to see either of them again.

BigRed62
BigRed62
10 years ago

Agreed Sarah. I have never TiVo’d DWTS but started this season. Too much juicy stuff going on to miss it. My 13 year old son and my husband are both hoping Pamela will have a wardrobe malfunction at some point. SICK!

janet
janet
10 years ago

I watched with my girls (5 and 4) and were floored. I LOVE Buzz! He was a riot and did ok. We were all waiting for Pam to come out of her dress and to stop tossing her hair around. Missed Jake, shucks darn. Should be an interesting season.

Dancing with Myself..oh,oh, ah, oh!
Dancing with Myself..oh,oh, ah, oh!
10 years ago

I love you Lincee! You are keeping us all going while the Bach is on a break. I love DWTS. I also saw pocket Jillian and Ed behind Vienna and Gia – do they travel in packs now? I actually may end up liking Brenda Walsh – her tears and her fathers were sweet and genuine so I enjoyed that. I will continue to not like Kate G and her fake hair and fluffy pink gown – which is too bad cuz I love me some Tony! I find OchoCinco charming and I want him to stay around – plus… Read more »

oh dear
oh dear
10 years ago

Personally, I loved his inability to high five, and the fact that he looks like a dwarf next to the other “stars”. Oh, Jake. Jake Jake Jake. Bless his heart.

LASS
LASS
10 years ago

I could not believe Jake couldn’t high 5! I was so embarrassed for him. Truly glad someone else noticed the rose petals. At first I thought it was my eyes but no. Buzz loved you on the moon, not so much on DWTS.

Oklabachfan
Oklabachfan
10 years ago

Best moments hands down were when Carrie and Bruno mocked Pam Anderson by standing up and gyrating and rotating their heads and shaking their hair! Priceless and hillarious. Loved it!

rockpaperscissors
rockpaperscissors
10 years ago

OK- I also could not believe that our boy Jake couldn’t even pull off a high 5- after pulling off the dance fairly well (or better than I expected anyway). But was anyone else just WAITING for them to pan to Vienna at some point during his waltz? They didn’t , but I thought they would -I really did.

beens
beens
10 years ago

#7 Yes, yes! that was my favorite part too. I kept rewinding it to see it again because it cracked me up so much!

Sherri
Sherri
10 years ago

Is it just me, or is this a slap in the face to Tenley. All the poor girl wanted was someone to grow old with and dance with forever, and now not only did Jake not pick her, but he went on to do DWTS. And, he didn’t even dance that well on the Bachelor. Oh well! I thought Buzz was adorable. I can’t stomach anymore of Jake’s – chesire cat from Alice in Wonderland – smiles anymore. I’m rooting for Evan!

LisaC
LisaC
10 years ago

Oh yes!!…so glad y’all noticed the horrible High 5ing exchange with Jake and Chelsea. I replayed that probably 8 times and then twice in SLO-MO. That was the most awkward backtoback/half-hug/High-10/embarassed-looks I have ever seen. Hilarious – pure gold! Then after the dance it was another was another attempt and fail High 5.

It reminds of an article I read in Sports Illustrated a couple of weeks back about the art of a High 5 and how some just can’t pull it off and end up looking like a doofus…er,Jake,er…

Tay L
Tay L
10 years ago

Ha! The high fiving by Jake – or lack of ability to high 5 – made me almost pee my pants and want to squirm into a hole and hide at the same time. He never ceases to amaze me with awkward moments!

And – I think Pam Anderson might have been a teensy bit DRUNK. Did anyone else think she was acting weird, even for her? haha…

Debbie
Debbie
10 years ago

#5 Oh dear – poor jake is probably 5’9″ on a good day with lifts in his shoes. Bless his heart.

rockpaperscissors
rockpaperscissors
10 years ago

# 12 Tay L – yes, now that you mention it, Pam did look (and act) a little tipsy…..

heidi
heidi
10 years ago

I also wondered why Gia was there. but the theory of the Maks hook up is a good one. I dont’ blame her. Speaking of Maks who is partnered with Erin Andrews their cha cha in my opinion was not better than Ocho Cinco’s and yet it got better scores? What’s up with that?! So I heard a rumor that Johnny Weir wouldn’t do DWTS because Kate Gosselin was on it. I now harbor deep resentment for her for preventing a Johnny Weir/Evan Lysacek angry dance off! Who doesn’t want to see that? And why do they always pair Derrick… Read more »

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