ABC and Macys.com would like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Jason Mesnick!

Our Host Chris Harrison: “Once upon a time, there was a handsome single dad from Seattle who was looking for love and searching for his soul mate. He found his true love, then dumped her on TV and asked Molly to marry him. This is their love story.”

That’s right ladies and gentlemen. According to Harrison, this is the wedding that America has been waiting for!

Seriously. I didn’t make that part up. He actually said that on camera. With a straight face. And a twinkle in his eye.

This is why we adore the Hare.

Since I’m knocking this recap out with only 30 minutes to spare before I have a phone chat with my new BFF Cord McCoy (Mesquite Rodeo THIS WEEKEND PEOPLE!) I thought it might be fun to make last night’s curious, memorable and head shakable moments into a quiz. Get all the answers right and you could win your very own pair of kicky green Manolo Blahniks!

Let’s begin!

Which was more cheesetastic concerning Jason’s opening montage?
a.   His tough guy facial scruff that when left to grow, would turn into full-blown mountain man in a matter of hours.

b. Jason’s “be present” t-shirt.

c. Jason carrying Molly around Seattle on his back as if she were a baby Cottontop Tamarin monkey at the Bronx Zoo. (Totally Googled that.)

d. How he rhymed “star gazing” with “amazing” in a pre-ceremony note that the wedding coordinator made him write before she attached it to the wedding bouquet.

Which was your favorite location in which Jason began to cry?
a. On the bench when he’s remembering dumping Melissa on TV.

b. In the meadow when Ty comes running toward him.

c. The alter when Molly walks down the isle.

d. When Jason is reflecting with his father as he looks at their reflections while trying on tuxedos. That’s deep.

Moment you knew there will inevitably be a naughty x-rated tape of Vienna and Jake.
a. When Jake said, “A day with us will make you throw up.”

b. When Jake said over a pot of boiling noodles, “I feel deprived. I need a kiss.”

c. Eating one of the said noodles a la Lady and the Tramp.

d. Jake covering Vienna’s eyes as they watch Ali straddle him in the middle of a park in San Francisco. This actually turns Vienna on.

The moment in which you screamed and pointed at the TV:
a. When you spotted the ABC intern frantically throwing plastic over anything that stood still.

b. The fact that the ABC intern was wearing a black “Bachelor” shirt.

c. The fact that the ABC intern was hotter in person than in your imagination.

d. All of the above.

Which of these statements presents the bigger Jim Halpert face moment during the Jill and Ed montage?
a. Jill is planning a wedding and there is no wedding date.

b. Jill is happy that their potential wedding location has a lake…or an ocean…nearby.

Which song best describes the moment following former Bachelor Charlie’s announcement that he and Sarah will be moving in together at the precise same moment Sarah says she won’t be moving in with Charlie until she’s engaged?
a. Single Ladies

b. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

c. This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)

d. Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Til It’s Gone

Which sponsor had the best product placement of the night?
a. Neil Lane – Official ring sponsor of The Bachelor

b. Macy’s – Official wedding registry sponsor of The Bachelor

c. Bellagio – Official Bachelorette/Bachelor party sponsor of The Bachelor.

d. Ken Paves – Official hair extension sponsor of The Bachelor.

Why did Molly and Jason feel that their wedding planning was super easy?
a. Because ABC paid for the entire thing.

b. Because ABC paid for the entire thing with the help of Macy’s.

c. Because ABC threatened to pull the plug if Molly and Jason didn’t like everything the wedding coordinator (paid for by ABC) suggested.

d. Because ABC paid for the entire thing. For reals.

The 17 girls who were invited to Molly’s bachelorette party consisted of:
a. Her sister, bridesmaids and house party.

b. Her sister, bridesmaids and any Pi Phi pledge class members who were still single.

c. Her sister, bridesmaids and daughters of top executives and Macy’s.

d. Her sister, bridesmaids and the floor show from Cher’s show at Caesars.

Jaw-dropping, high fiving one-liners from the show:
a. Stripper teaching Molly to dance: “We start with grabbing the ankles. And then push the butt up.”

b. A nameless dude toasting Jason: “Of all the women Jason has proposed to, Molly is the best.”

c. ABC security tackling a member of the paparazzi, putting him in a head lock and hand cuffing him on the side of a ravine.

d. Jason Castro playing his ukulele while singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” while a rainbow is actually in the sky.

Favorite Ty moments:
a. Ty making brownies with Molly on national TV.

b. Ty tackling Molly at a park on national TV.

c. Ty reading a book with Molly on national TV.

d. Jason telling his Dad that he and his ex-wife have decided that Ty shouldn’t be on TV.

Best former Bachelor cameos that made you think of six degrees of separation:
a. DDAHnna…who dumped Jake for Jesse the snow boarder, smiles lovingly at her new boyfriend Stephen who is the brother of Break Dancer Mikey who was dumped by Jillian. Harrison looks at DDAHnna’s left hand which is ringless. Mute Stephen says nothing. DDAHnna scolds Harrison for scaring her boyfriend. NOW SHE’LL NEVER GET MARRIED OR HAVE AN ABC WEDDING SPONSORED BY MACY’S.

b. Jillian…who was dumped by the groom…is there with Ed. Our Host asks if there is a wedding date set. Ed laughs and gives Hare a “bless his heart” look as Jillian confirms that their Macy’s sponsored wedding will have blue skies. Or at the very least…an inside contingency plan.

c. Snow boarder Jesse, who was dumped by DDAHnna sitting two rows over, had a wing man in Richard and is totally getting the 4-1-1 on Nikki who was also dumped by Jason.

d. Single Mom Stephanie…who was let go by Jason…is wearing the latest fashion forward style – pink fur. Her outfit was sponsored by the letter Q and the number 7.

The torrential downpour during Jason and Molly’s vows reminded you of:
a. Hurricane Ike

b. That scene in Karate Kid II where Daniel San has to save the little girl ringing the emergency weather bell.

c. Gene Kelly

d. Your worst nightmare.

True or False
Our Host announced during his toast that he had a surprise for the newly wed couple. Instead of a wedding song by Gavin DeGraw, you thought Melissa Rycroft was going to pop out of the cake.

True or False
Molly actually told Jason that their story was the perfect trifecta of reality, romance and roses.

True or False
The statement above made you throw up a little in your mouth.

Let me know how you did! Until then, I’m

All about the shame, not the fame,

Lincee

Comments

100 Comments on "ABC and Macys.com would like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Jason Mesnick!"

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MarriedWithEyes
MarriedWithEyes

LOVE IT! You are the girl, Lincee. You are the reason ABC can still turn this stuff out and have us watch!

So are you talking to Cord before you meet him or did you already meet him?

Michelle
Michelle

You SAID IT RIGHT ON Lincee! I kept thinking… how many people in the crowd have kissed, grouped or slept together…how awkward! Weird too that Kip (no abs shown- sigh) was sitting at the same table as Ed and Jill! To add to DeAnna, she dumped Jason, I almost forgot about that! OHCH cracked me up all night with his perfect “storm and rainbow” analogies! Molly seemed to calm though, I actually liked her a lot more in this special than I did the entire season last year! She wore the hair and dress perfectly, even after the down pour. Kudos to ABC for bringing the wedding into our living rooms….married lady porn I tell ya!

yup
yup

Molly still has buggy eyes and an edge to her that is hard to stand. Plus arrogant.
Jason still seems weak and waffley.
I feel bad for Ty.
I give them less than 5 years.

boooovienna
boooovienna

I am much more interested in hearing how it goes with Lincee and her cowboy than I was watching this wedding. I literally made it to the first commercial then turned it off.

magrag
magrag

A friend was in Las Vegas while the bachelor party was filmed, and said most of the guys were random “extras” and didn’t even know Jason. She also said Jason was strikingly handsome in real life and that his teeth were almost distractingly bright white. I’m an avid greenbeaner, but could NOT bring myself to watch last night. Yuck.

will
will

1) Why were all the guests sitting on COFFINS. Really, I think they were coffins covered in white sheets. This was odd.

2) You pay that much for a wedding planner…and the planner doesn’t have a back up in case it rains…or in this case POURS. Super fun for the guests. Sit on coffins, be cold and wet.

3) Is it weird that their family was there…but all of their “friends” were really people they don’t know from the Bachelor/ette series?

4) Trista and other members of the bach. team didn’t have good things to say about Jason when he dumped Melissa….so it’s confusing that they are now such great friends they are invited and show up to the wedding.

5) Sadly, I made the comment ” I give it 2 years”

6) Ty was not to be on TV during the ceremony….however, it is fine that we show him in all other scenes including where he lives.

7) DeYAWNA (blink blink blink) said her and her BF were “FANTASTIC” a little too eager. Which leads me to believe…it’s not so fantastic.

8) Molly pointed to herself in Vegas to announce that the “PARTY HAS NOW ARRIVED” I must have missed something b/c I don’t remember her being the party…or the life of the party at any time.

Kelli
Kelli

Did anyone but me catch Jillian say to OHCH, “IF we do this”….referring to a wedding between she & Ed…that OHCH would have to make sure there was no rain in the forecast….or something like that….all I heard was her use the word “IF”….

Kim

When is OHCH going to become a justice of the peace so he can perform the Bach/Bachette weddings?

Reader
Reader

I actually really liked the special. I like Molly & Jason together. I did not like what Jason did to Melissa, but Melissa’s moved on and so can Molly & Jason. Congrats to the happy couple.

heidi
heidi

did anyone else think that with all the former baches and bachettes in attendence at this wedding, that this show is getting a little incesty?

Amy

Hey Lincee! Thanks for the awesome recap. I spent a lot of the time thinking “Oh my gosh, insert sappy comment “. 🙂 Just one thing, though, I think that Jillian dumped Jake and DDAHna dumped Jason, right? Can’t wait for next season’s recaps! 🙂

Shameless
Shameless

I haven’t watched it yet but this recap actually made me excited to! I never read Lincee’s recaps before I watch the show, but made an exception for this because I don’t think the wedding episode really counts. It sounds kind of like a train wreck. Love it! Also love how quickly and eager people are to sell out there personal lives and biggest life moments for some TV face time and money.

Ann
Ann

How is it possible that ABC did not have a contingency rain plan to move things indoors?! All they would have had to do is go inside to the reception area – I have never seen such wind and rain. You literally could see rivers of water running off their shoulders. At a very minimum, the planners could have made the arbor/canopy thingy have a top on it. OR, some staff members could have run up on stage to hold an umbrella over the bride and groom. I kept waiting for one of the wedding guests to chivalrously donate his umbrella to the cause (but nooooo).

All I could think of was that designer dress getting soaked and Molly’s sprayed hair becoming a gelatinous, gluey mess, sort of like dreadlocks that someone hasn’t let down in 5 years. I bet it was three days before she could get a comb through it. And then they had to go inside to their air conditioned reception while they were soaking wet. Hope someone broke out the blow-dryers.

And I guess it is a contractual thing that Molly and Jason had to include all of those ex-bachelors and bachelorettes, but how sad that they either have so few friends that the “exes” were all that could come to swell the crowd, OR that the bride and groom had to exclude real friends to accommodate the ABC-bound people.

This was nothing like the Trista and Ryan extravaganza a few years ago. Instead of mountains of pink and million-dollar diamond shoes, Molly got rain and wind. I guess the economy really HAS taken its toll on the show. (We should have known that when we got the RV trip instead of the trips to Europe this season.)

Lincee, I will suffer withdrawal from your recaps. Can we possibly persuade you to blog about DWTS?

Dave/Ben
Dave/Ben

It’s like raaaaaaaaiiiiiiiin on your wedding day. It’s a free ride, when you’re already late… (neither of these things are “ironic”, by the way)

Anyway – I didn’t watch this. I have a 5 month old at home who lives in mortal fear of Ty “the bat child” Mesnik. I cannot risk my boy’s night of sleep to watch J cry. Poor fella. Plus, despite being the “wedding I’ve been waiting for”, the English Patient was on AMC. Man, I CANNOT miss plot and character development like that for some silly wedding. Lastly, Trista’s laught makes my weenie dog howl.

I do like the Lincee quiz take on this wedding. She should marry a really great guy. I will honestly stop at nothing to find a man to treat her right. She just needs to move to KC. I have no hook-ups in the deep south.

SGT Cole
SGT Cole

I decided to use Lincee’s blog to announce my engagement to Lady Gaga.

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