An open letter to Emma Stone
You are DARLING. If we lived in the same city and I was about 15 years younger, I’m convinced we would be best friends. I am a big fan. In fact, I first noticed you in Superbad. Even though I spent most of the time embarrassed behind my couch cushion, I definitely peeked the times you were on the screen. You were the main reason I purchased Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, your character’s quick whit in Easy A reminded me of what I always aspired to be growing up and The Help was definitely one of my favorite movies in 2011.
Then Crazy Stupid Love came along and thankfully, YouTube member Jitske15 totally janked this scene and posted a few days ago. I just have one question for you Emma Stone…
How did that feel? Did you ask Ryan Gosling if he really does execute the Dirty Dancing move on his dates? Were his pecs rock hard yet soft to the touch? How did you concentrate with those abs just sitting there in front of you? Did you play off the distraction? Or did you admit to being mesmerized by the six pack? Did your pulse race when he lifted you over his head? Did you mess up so you would have to do it over and over and over again? Will anything in life ever top that moment for you? Does he smell good? Did he have minty fresh breath?
Please use as many descriptive words in your response to do the job justice.
Your Houston Fan Club President,