Ahhh, the appendix. How can such a tiny thing wreck havoc on one’s digestive system in such a short amount of time? Is it irritated that no one really knows what it’s supposed to do? Did it think it could lend a hand in helping me lose those extra five pounds that refuse to go away? Whatever the case, it knocked me on my butt and I have new found respect for anyone who has ever had a surgeon cut open their gut to root around for miscellaneous organs. Recovery BLOWS and I salute those who have braved the knife before me. I hope I am worthy of my scars. Because, again, this BLOWS.

After not one, but two hospital stays, I have gathered so many stories that one post will not do. Seriously. If it could happen, it happened to me. An army of friends swooped in to guide me through the haze. Some parts I don’t remember (or I’ve wisely blocked out), so I will be relying on their expertise to help me correctly tell the tale. Here’s a list of questions that will be answered in upcoming posts:

• Why is it that my abdomen attracts hotter than crap doctors?
• Where is your appendix?
• Where are my panties?
• Where is Caroline?
• Did Methodist Hospital feed me pennies?
• How many student nurses does it take to draw blood?
• What’s the most annoying phone call you can receive while post-opp?
• Do I really need a potassium drip? Or can I just eat a banana?
• Is that an appendix cramp? Or a menstrual one?
• How does a Brita water jug work? (Courtesy of Linea)
• Is passing gas the same as pooping?
• Is pooping the same as passing gas?
• Does anyone know how to speak Filipino?
• Is there anyone on this side of the flood who can pick me up?

Thank you all for your kind wishes and sweet messages. They truly helped me through a difficult time. Once again, I am overwhelmed by our little community. My cup runneth over.

Thank goodness my appendix did not…