Let’s discuss Bachelor Ben Higgins’ ladies!
It’s been several months since ABC announced Ben Higgins as the new “it man” vying for love on The Bachelor. With only four weeks left until season 20 kicks off on the freshly sprayed driveway of the tricked out California mansion, the network just released a list of the 28 women who will stop at nothing to become Mrs. Peter Brady. Let’s meet the girls!
Rancho Santa Margarita, CA
My guess is that Amanda is a blond bombshell who just graduated from cosmetology school. She will be the resident bang-braider of the bunch.
Amber has three tattoos and at least one scar she got from a broken bottle that time she tried to stop a fight between a White Sox and a Cubs fan.
San Diego, CA
Remember last season when The Farmer wanted Becca to talk about her feelings (which were non-existent) and then she stared him down on that bed in a hotel near Nowhere, Iowa? No? Here’s what I wrote about it back in March:
Later that night, The Farmer visits Becca in her hotel room. He walks her through a 30-minute therapy session, which is simply ironic due to the fact that The Farmer is the least articulate person in franchise history.
The Farmer: I want everything that you can give me.
Becca: I’m just not there yet.
Lincee: DON’T YOU DARE GIVE HIM YOUR FLOWER. KEEP THAT GARDEN A SECRET.
He talks about Arlington and small town life. She responds with a bunch of “I don’t knows” with a side of “I do want you.” There was something about a timeline and a mention of something not being clear (you think?). The Farmer asks why she can’t say that she is in love with him? I found it odd that she didn’t respond, “Because it’s been 12 days.” Instead, there was another round of “I don’t know,” followed by something being cloudy and scary. With a chance of meatballs.
The Farmer kept asking her to say that she would eventually come to Arlington after they dated a while. Becca did not give in. He pushed. She thanked him for pushing, but didn’t concede. He reminded her that if he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be with her trying to get an answer. He reciprocates and feels the same way. Double positives will not help this situation I’m afraid.
Here’s the deal–Chiro Becca will have to step it up if she has any chance trumping this Becca as the most memorable in franchise history.
**UPDATE: Some think that this IS Becca from The Farmer’s season! WOO HOO!
**UPDATE 2: It has been confirmed. Becca is in the running.
Remember, this is a SPOILER-FREE ZONE!
I just Googled “nutritional therapist vs. nutritionist vs. dietitian.” Like a normal counselor, nutritional therapists talk about feelings but also food and how said food makes you feel. My hope is that Breanne has a banging body that makes all the other girls jealous. They ask her for dieting tips and when she suggests they stop drinking alcohol, they throw shade behind her back while munching on the pineapple from their fruity adult beverage.
Software Sales Representative
Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh did Caila ever leave Ohio?
Emily, 22, Twin, Las Vegas, NV
Haley, 22, Twin, Las Vegas, NV
Someone explain in the comment section how being a twin is a career. Do you think they partake in those cool twin studies for a living?
Izzy is going to be the one who has the most creative introduction. Ten bucks says she mentions pork chops and applesauce, but only because her mother sent her the YouTube link of Peter Brady.
San Francisco, CA
Don’t worry. I looked it up for you. A gerontologist is someone who studies aging. Our Host Chris Harrison should be a nice test subject for Jackie since he was born before the ‘80s.
St. Albert, Alberta, Canada
If the producers are smart, they will have a Coyote Ugly competition between Amber and Jami. Amber will of course school Jami in the ways of a seasoned bartender. She will nail the “Devil Went Down To Georgia” dance number, leaving Jami on the floor to pour shots of whiskey. You’re oot Canada.
Small Business Owner
Fort Lauderdale, FL
How can you be 25-years-old and be the owner of a small business you ask? Nash Grier is 17-years-old and is currently worth $3 million because of his six-second Vine videos. Our world is a special, special place.
Boca Raton, FL
Remember, Peter is only 26-years-old, so even though Jessica may seem like a fetus, they totally could have gone to high school together. PS: All flags point to normal on this one.
Joelle “Jo Jo”
Real Estate Developer
GO TEXAS! I hope Jo Jo is British. Even if she isn’t, I will always say her name with a British accent.
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Jubilee must have served a ton of tours in the military to already be considered a war veteran. Peter will appreciate her patriotism because he is a good boy.
Real Estate Agent
Please do not get 25-year-old Lace the real estate agent confused with the 24-year-old real estate developer Jo Jo. Also, I hope that her name is pronounced with one syllable like the material and not like the name with the traditional spelling of Lacey or Laci or Lacy.
Laura, 24, Account Executive, Louisville, KY
Lauren “LB,” 23, Fashion Buyer, Stillwater, OK
Lauren B., 25, Flight Attendant, Marina Del Rey, CA
Lauren H., 25, Kindergarten Teacher, Ann Arbor, MI
Lauren R., 26, Math Teacher, Houston, TX
Kudos to LB for taking the time to choose a nickname to separate her from the other Laurens. I will never keep them all straight. At least Peter has a one in seven chance of guessing the right name should he find himself in a bubbling hot tub with a gaggle of scantily clad women giggling at his every word.
Leah lives in Denver. So does Ben Higgins. She’s one year younger than him. Could they be MFEO?
YES! I want this girl to go far! She needs race through the driveway on her noble steed, using Peter or the ABC Intern as her barrel. She won’t win because she’s and old lady, but she will be fun to watch.
Hey Mandi. I know where you can get a mobile cupcake if you need one. I hear it’s all the rage with dentists!
Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t lose.
Little Rock, AR
That’s right Rachel. You put your unemployment out there. Don’t fold under the pressure of corporate America. Don’t let ABC bully you into choosing some lame career label like “chicken enthusiast.”
New Smyrna Beach, FL
She will be the normal one of the bunch.
Salt Lake City, UT
She will be the smarty pants one of the bunch.
She will be the whacked out one of the bunch.
What do you think? Is Ben Higgins’ future bride in this list? Who has most potential on paper? What is a chicken enthusiast? Are you pumped for season 20? Sound off in the comments section!