Bachelor Ben Recap: Tip it on back

Bachelor Ben Recap: Episode 8 —

Hometown weeks are stressful, y’all. If chugging the last sips of champagne straight from the bottle is what you have to do in order to get through the night, I say go for it.

I have no excuses for Ben’s short shorts.

SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. However, if you or someone you liked on Instagram happen to personally know, sort of know, is friends with the Plexus peddler who is obsessed with Chip and Joanna Gaines like me and looks exactly like one of the contestants on the show…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.

Amanda
Orange County
Ben starts the hometown week off with Amanda. Orange County is just a hop, skip and a jump away from the Bachelor mansion. Amanda chooses her most unsuitable shoulderless blouse with which to frolic on the beach. This piece of fabric was a feat of engineering. Not only did it magically stay up around her boobs, but it didn’t technically have a back. It was actually a brilliant move to pair it with denim panties.

Amanda spies her two darling angel babies with adorable PIG TAILS and takes off running after them. She’s careful to hold her whimsical shirt lest her ample bosom pop out from its lackluster constraints. Ben tears up as Amanda smothers her children with kisses. He approaches the reunion cautiously. One of the girls gives this stranger a wary glance. The younger one looks at him up and down as if he’s shorter than she is, instantly gifting him with an unwavering expression. It’s clear that if she could talk, she’d say, “Mother. What’s up with this tall drink of water and why are his shorts so short? Who are these weirdos with cameras and can I please find sanctuary from the sun in one of your sleeve billows?”

Ben chases the older one around the beach. She has a tough time playing along. Running free and wild is extremely hard to do in pink gladiator sandals. They spend the day playing with kites and Get In Shape Girl ribbons. Soon it’s time to head on over to grandma’s house. The baby plays a fun game in the car — screaming from Point A to Point B. Amanda thinks she might be overwhelmed. Tiny Baby Gladiator would like for me to share that she approves of this message.

Amanda quickly introduces her parents to Ben before putting the children down for a well-deserved nap. Amanda’s mom talks to Ben about very important things, but I was too annoyed to listen because of the fly buzzing around his head. My mind quickly became distracted as I wondered, “Would Ben be able to Mr. Miyagi that fly with a pair of chopsticks?” I think we all know the answer to that quandary.

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor Ben Recap Wink

Amanda’s parents warn him that he would be an instant father to two amazing young girls. They also ask Amanda if she knows if Ben is ready to be an instant father to two amazing young girls? Amanda believes that Ben is ready. She can picture him being a great dad. So can we. Especially when he reads the girls a bedtime story consisting of the phrase, “Once upon a time, a boy named Ben met Mommy.”

Nice work with the fake book, ABC Intern, but this fairy tale is definitely going to land both girls a few hours in therapy. Stranger danger is real.

Lauren
Portland, OR
Lauren’s bra is so pretty. How do I know that? Because I saw it. It matched Ben’s shiny suit. I got a close-up of that bizarre fabric when he was downing a grilled cheese from a food truck. You know. The one he ate right before touring something called a whiskey library? Solid move, Lauren.

After taking a few photos in front of Harrison’s favorite brands and emailing them to him, Lauren and Ben head to her parents’ house. We meet mom, dad, three siblings and an 18-year-old dog named Tessa. The sister looks like she is ready for the camera and is the first to pull Ben aside to ask him some very tough questions. She’s skeptical and she wants Ben to know that Lauren is, above all else, eligible. Sure, she’s beautiful and has good values too, blah, blah, blah, but any guy would be lucky to have her. What’s so special about him? Why does he get the chance to put a ring on it?

Ben starts to cry and Sister softens. She rushes off to report her findings. Lauren tells her that she is in love with Ben and she must tell him tonight. Meanwhile, Dad (who is adorable by the way) wants to know how Ben is coping with this experience? I feel that Ben needed someone to ask how HE was doing in this process. Dad thinks Ben is genuine, honest and good. Of course he worries that Lauren has known him for five seconds, but he trusts his baby LoLo.

Not to be confused with JoJo.

Lauren wimps out at the good-bye SUV. She doesn’t say, “I love you” before he drives away to impress another family. Did she do the right thing?

Caila
Hudson, OH
Caila’s personality is hard to read in my opinion. Her mullet shirt is not. Caila takes Ben to sit on what she called a bench, but was really a swing. They make out because that’s what they do. She takes him to a playhouse factory (owned by her father) so they can design and build their own cottage. Caila rocks a pair of safety goggles, gloves and a hard hat like nobody’s business. She kisses Ben after every hammered nail, screw (not an innuendo) and successful paint job. He folds himself into the tiny finished piece of architectural genius. She finds him ah-mazing. Ben pulls an Officer and a Gentleman by sweeping her off her feet and carrying her out of the warehouse as others clap. For those of you who are too young, Ross also spoofed this with Rachel once at Central Perk. Feel free to use whichever example works for your generation.

We meet the parents next. Caila’s dad chooses pumpkin orange pants that I didn’t hate for his national television debut. Her mom was super laid back. She had her hair in a messy bun. She also had braces and flawless skin. I liked her. She smiled as Caila’s dad talked about how to handle “microwave fame.” Ben admits that it’s more exhausting than he could ever imagine. Tiny Baby Gladiator isn’t the only one who is overtired.

Caila’s mom tells Ben that Caila has been looking for someone for a long time now. She has very high standards. Should we consider this a red flag? Caila admits to both her parents that she’s falling in love with Ben. Her mother suggests she run down stairs, jump on him and tell him. Caila begins speaking in whispers as both parents encourage her to trust her gut. Like Lauren, she flakes at the end and doesn’t drop the L-Bomb.

JoJo
DALLAS
JoJo pairs the drawstring peasant blouse from her pirate wench Halloween costume with a cool jacket, skinny jeans and booties for her hometown date. She wanders up to her own brownstone and squeals with delight when she sees two dozen roses and a note at her door. She breezes inside, falls on her couch and reads two-thirds of a love note before realizing it’s not from Ben. It’s from her EX-BOYFRIEND CHAD who apparently never wrote her a note in the years that they dated. JoJo dramatically shouts, “No. NO!” while pacing up and down her living room floor. She was so excited about today and now the dude who is probably dog sitting for her is ruining EVERYTHING.

She’s very sad. Her gypsy ring/bracelet is hurting her shoot-the-finger. There’s only one thing to do. The ABC Intern hands her the phone. Chad’s number has already been dialed. He is extremely interested in winning her back at the precise moment Ben is walking up to her front door. OH WHAT HORRIBLE TIMING. Ben walks in, wondering why JoJo is a hot mess. She tells him the truth and for the first time in my eight-week history with Ben, I notice his eyes flash with anger. JoJo picks up on it too and begins back pedaling. She only called Chad to tell him it was over. Done. Nada. She doesn’t ever want to see him again. At least not until she picks up her dog after she’s engaged.

Both come out of their sweaters. It’s getting hot in the brownstone. Ben explains that he’s been down this road before and he doesn’t want to repeat the trip. She fixes everything by telling him she’s the happiest she’s ever been. Then they make out before calling Carson to tell them that they will be arriving shortly at the Abbey.

JoJo walks into the door on the front 40. Her brothers simply attack her with kisses and hugs and more kisses. Ben and I are thoroughly confused. Clearly they are doing this on purpose. Mama escorts him through the veranda, the downstairs library, the terrarium, the billiards room and the conservatory to the small dining room. The silver is polished, the Waterford is glistening and the conversation is…unfortunate.

The men want Ben to know that JoJo will NOT be leaving Dallas. If this is going to be a thing, he has to leave his life in Denver. Ben doesn’t fold like a cheap shirt, but he doesn’t promise he’ll do it either. During her alone time with her mom, JoJo confesses that she’s falling for Ben. And she’s going to give it 150% (read: 100%). Her brothers warn her to guard and protect her heart. This makes me smile.

The brothers later double team Ben, peppering him with concerns. They don’t think Ben has the same feelings for JoJo as she has for him. They think he has a poker face on because there are three other girls who he’s courting at the same time. One thinks that Ben is playing JoJo because they’ve only been out on two dates. How can he be emotionally invested?

This is the point when Mama starts to drink. Out of the champagne bottle. I love this woman.

Ben holds his own for the most part, but you can tell that he felt like this was a losing battle. Especially when Brother accuses him of having a “coached” answer. JoJo admits that she’s scared that Ben is going to walk away because of her brothers’ concerns. She decides to wear her tightest, boobiest dress for the rose ceremony to help him make his decision.

And it works!

Everyone is freshly coiffed and spruced after making the trip home. Amanda even got her roots done! In the end, Ben chooses Lauren, Caila and JoJo to continue their journey with him. Amanda handles herself beautifully. She wishes he would have let her go during the hometown date, but she understands that he needed to make an informed decision. She leaves with her dignity and a white box. Kudos to the ABC Intern for implementing rejection party favors. I like to think the tiny gift was filled with airplane-size bottles of alcohol. Ben chokes back tears as he watches Amanda drive out of his life.

Next week, all three girls tell Ben he loves them just in time for fantasy suites. Who will make the final two? And did JoJo’s mom secure her as the next bachelorette if Ben doesn’t choose her? Should we start a petition for Chad to be the next bachelor? Sound off in the comments!

Comments

191 Comments on "Bachelor Ben Recap: Tip it on back"

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Riki
Riki

Oh my goodness! So much to love here! And did you ever TRY to run in the sand in pink gladiator sandals? It really isn’t quite as easy as one would assume!

Bri
Bri

I like to think that the boxes Amanda was holding as she got into the rejection limo were presents from her kids to Ben that she decided not to give him after all!

Cindy S
Cindy S

That’s what I thought as well. In one shot it looked like 2 small boxes. Had to be for the girls.

Terri
Terri

With thought it looked like two packs of Marlboro Lights! At first.

Tanya T.
Tanya T.

She actually tweeted that they were gifts he gave her for her girls. Sweet.

marymary
marymary

JoJo’s date was worth waiting until the end! Could those brothers be any more sinister or creepy? Ben totally wimped out by saying he would move to Dallas – to be friends with those two (as her dad suggested, so that they could make him a better person?).

I don’t know how Amanda’s top stayed on.

Caila nailed the OAAG scene, even making sure she took off his hard hat and put it on! Do you think they had to tell the people in the factory to clap, or did they just know what to do?

Ben never asked any dads or moms for their blessing……hmmmmm.

andrea
andrea

did anyone notice that nobody else in the factory was wearing a hardhat? only caila and ben. seemed a bit contrived to me (shocker)!

Karissa
Karissa

Sweet sweet Ben seems like the kind of guy who will only ask a family for permission when he can honestly say that their daughter is the only one. Which is probably good because there’s no way he was getting permission from those brothers LOL!

Karlee
Karlee

Drinking from the bottle explains so much about that hot mess of a “home town visit”. Rich

Pia
Pia

Did anyone else notice the roses JoJo got from her “ex-boyfriend” changed to completely different flowers during that scene?

Dad ALMOST got Mom to reel it in before the cameras caught her!

Amanda sure handled her goodbye, as well as the rejection limo interview, extremely well. Of course, no one wants to return to LA simply to be rejected. I imagine it was very difficult for Ben to do just that, however, after all these seasons, you’d think these contestants would fully understand this is a t.v. show and all but one get rejected. Figure out the odds, girls! For instance: You will see a shooting stars within 15 minutes (1:5) before “winning” the Bachelor (1:28).

It looks like that last cut is going to hurt bad.

Lucky are the children who one day will call Ben “Dad”.

Barb
Barb

Thanks , I agree about the comments on the fact that this is a tv show and it has had the same format for 20 seasons. Yes, a few guys have waivered and sent girls home early ( including Ben) but as a rule you go to the ceremony and learn your fate along with the other girls. This does not make Ben a bad guy that he’s not deviating from that. Not sure why people got mad about him sending Becca home the normal way? How is that blindsiding ?

KMB
KMB

Agreed. As much as I love Becca and Amanda that IS what they signed up for. Ben can’t send home every girl before the rose ceremony.

KJM
KJM

Aaaand it’s not like she flew in from New York or something, she came from Orange County…

Mollie
Mollie

I thought the same thing! She is in the same state. Hard decision for Ben either way. All 4 girls are great and I am sure it is extremely hard to hurt any of them at that point.

Clare

Lauren called it a “libary.” Am I the only one who noticed this?!

Shannon
Shannon

No! I noticed it too!!! It’s a total pet peeve of mine…

LegallyBlondeMommy
LegallyBlondeMommy

Yes, I did, too. It’s a major pet peeve of mine. I rewound it and listened to it again to make sure, then silently corrected her and said, “Bless her heart.”

rebecca
rebecca

I did too!! LOL wow, these kids grow up so slow these days…

Christine
Christine

Clare, I live in Portland, Oregon, and the name of that place is Multnomah Whiskey Library.
(Multnomah is the name of our county.) The Whiskey Library is in downtown Portland. It is a funny and inspired name!

Emoney
Emoney

She wasn’t quibbling with the name of the library, but the fact that Lauren pronounced it “libary”, minus the “r”, like a Kindergartener.

Chrisp
Chrisp

I believe the correct spelling is “liberry.”

Angela
Angela

Almost impossible to detect between the “likes” (seems “like” 4-5 in each sentence). Both Lauren and Amanda (and Ben). So, if you “like love” somebody, is that different from just plain love.? Obviously, the overuse of the “valley girl” speak is my pet peeve.

Laura Jean

Glad for the post! As a mom of two little ones, I totally related to that card scene. Will post more later after the kids are in bed.

Laura Jean

By “card,” I meant car. Like Tiny Baby Gladiator and Ben, I, too, and overtired. Unlike them, I did not get to frolic on a beach on national TV. The life.

So, so good:
“This is the point when Mama starts to drink.
Out of the champagne bottle.
I love this woman.”

I am sad that I couldn’t watch the JoJo family section last night!!!! Seemed like Ben verbally got his clock rocked, but the dress must have worked to sway Ben’s mind from what is usually a kiss-of-rejection (intense brothers!) on The Bachelor. And I totally agree about the therapy those two girls will need, but if they are indeed little gladiators, they will prevail. What will not prevail are the threads that hold up (how?!) the arm-things on Amanda’s shirt. That was a one-off outfit, I think, because running.

For the first time, I really think that Lauren is the one. I liked her the best last night, and that whiskey library was a good move. As we all know the iconic lyrics of one Luke Bryan: http://bit.ly/1mWcnML

Kay
Kay

I think the that JoJo’s mom picking up that bottle and drinking from it was the single-most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen on the Bachelor. I must have rewound the TV six times to watch that one. Also, her brothers were so creepy. I doubt she’ll ever get away from that freaky family. Great blog LIncee! I had to wait until after work to read it…I usually rush home at lunch to catch it and it wasn’t up yet…so first thing I did tonight was read this.

Shannon
Shannon

I rewound too because it was going on in the background. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I thought, did I really just see that? It was hilarious. Jojo’s dad whispered to her and then she grabbed a glass. So funny!

rebecca
rebecca

I agree, and that family is why they will make Caila the new bachelorette… that was beyond creepy with the controlling borderline incestuous brothers and father and binge drinking lip injection mother (bless her heart, sweet but totally checked out). Run JoJo, RUN from Dallas!!!

KMB
KMB

I bet the brothers aren’t usually like that, they just want to extend their 15 minutes of fane. They’re still idiots though.

Karolyn
Karolyn

Me too on the bottle, the husband even leans forward I think to tell her to stop. I was a little overwhelmed with the Botox too. I am glad Amanda took rejection with class. I think it would be hard to have a ready made family even though you could tell Ben will be a super dad. I laughed at the ” libary ” thing too

Tina
Tina

Yes!!! Bachelor GOLD!

sara
sara

I definitely think he is picking Lauren B in the end. Based on the conversations with family members, it was amazing how talking about her he completely teared up and was so emotional, whereas talking about Jo Jo he was like “well, I can’t really say anything….”

Laurie

Yay to the moms this season. I too liked Carol last week but both Jo Jo’s mom and Caila’s moms were great. I too noticed the drinking straight from the bottle and we can easlly see where Caila gets her bubbly personality. Whomever the in laws end up being, I bet the wedding will be interesting. For the reception, they will have to fight over Bens lakeside property or the huge home or maybe the toy house factory. I felt the two sets of brothers were equally awkward, hence the out takes at the end.
Great recap as usual. Like so many it’s half the reason I have become part of the bachelor nation.

Darcee
Darcee

Loved the recap! Your description of them walking through JoJo’s house was hilarious! That thing is huge. Her brothers bugged me. You could tell they weren’t genuine and we’re just trying to make good tv. One has already been on another dating show. Her mom killed me when JoJo was telling her she’s nervous cause there are still three other women involved and her moms response was, “oh.” Ha ha. I don’t think her mom knew what JoJo was off doing.

And did JoJo’s sister get locked in her tower as soon as JoJo returned? We never saw or heard from her after the first scene. Odd.

Lauren B is still the clear winner for me. I liked her family. Ben and her are the best match to me. And he’s always seemed to be drawn to her the most.

I hope JoJo is the next bachelorette but wonder if it will be Caila cause I predict she goes home next.

Thanks for always making me laugh!

Darcee
Darcee

Oh and Lauren B’s brothers at the end for the outake were hilarious! They stumped Ben. Ha ha.

Gondawatchsummore
Gondawatchsummore

Hilarious!!! I’m surprised you’re the first to mention. Nothing like getting grilled by a teen baby brother concerning the fantasy suite. ACOTACO!!!!

Catherine
Catherine

Yes, it seemed JoJo’s mom didn’t know how the bachelor works, she didn’t realize there were still other girls? That conversation was so strange!

Kara
Kara

Yes! It was strange. And at one point JoJo was crying and her mom said something like, but you’re so pretty and she said I know, and they hugged.

Tina
Tina

I caught too…”You’re so pretty…I know”. GREAT!!!!

Kelli

I cracked up when the mom said “oh.” Haha! Yeah she seemed like she was in another world. I supposed after drinking champagne from the bottle, I might be in another world too. I agree. I think Lauren B will be in winner and JoJo will be the next Bachelorette. We’ll see!

Yank
Yank

Best Line: ” The baby plays a fun game in the car — screaming from Point A to Point B.”

Whit
Whit

I still can not get past the 3 yr olds gladiator sandals! Im all about fashion trends but that was ri.diculous.
And why did amanda mention ben making her fly all the way back to LA when she lives within an hour??

Jojos mobster fam was nuts! Book them on a reality show quick.
Amazed at how much:
Lauren looked her dad
Caila loked like her mom
Jojo looked like her dad
Amanda looked like her mom
Crazy strong genes.
Also– am i wrong or was that the FIRST time EVER that all sets of hometown dates parents were all married!?!?!?

Jill
Jill

Did anyone else feel you were watching a Mafia family at JoJo’s house? Pretty controlling bunch – no wonder mom bypasses the glass! Ben looked like he was recovering from the stomach flu and then the Inquisition begins!

Deebee
Deebee

Yes, that was brutal. And these people must have loads of money. Not only the size of the parents’ home but the place JoJo lives in — pretty nice for such a young gal. I also wonder if the 2 creepy brothers have wives. If not I can see why.

Cheryl
Cheryl

I totally thought that! When Ben was talking with JoJo’s dad and he was just staring at Ben then began talking. I thought about the movie the GodFather. Those brothers were just weird. The sister is the only one in that family who seemed normal.

Kelli

Maybe that’s why they didn’t show the sister! Too normal.

Elodie
Elodie

Does everyone know that JOJO’s brother Ben was also on a reality tv show ‘Ready for Love’ – He looked so familiar it was killing me!

Shannon
Shannon

OH MY GOSHHHHH thank you!! This was driving me absolutely BONKERS!!!

Erin
Erin

http://www.vulture.com/2016/02/bachelor-jojo-brother-ben-patton-ready-for-love.html
It says, “I know you, his eyes say, because I was you” hahaha!

A in Spain

YES! I couldn’t pinpoint it but thank you! I did watch Ready For Love. He was the hospital exec! I wonder if that show will ever resurface…

AnneP
AnneP

Yes! It was driving me crazy that I knew him from somewhere. Once I had his full name and Googled it, there it was. Acting family, I guess. Disappointing.

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