‘Bachelor in Paradise’ recap: A social media experience

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise recap

I can’t believe I missed the Bachelor in Paradise arrival of the Federal Prosecutor. According to several sources from last night’s social media fest, he’s no longer a jack wagon. In fact, those in my inner circle may be rooting for Team Fed! I am floored!

I’m also IN AWE of how so many of you stepped up to the plate to cover episode 4. I had the best time giggling down I-10 as notifications came through on my phone. Ashley I-Lashes’ tears aren’t the only things that are certain in this world—we can also count on IHGB readers to bring the funny.

Behold! You’re recap as depicted through social media. Enjoy!

We begin the night with a solid endorsement from Dee B:

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Hayley sums up Tenley’s “troubles” in 140 characters or less:

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I assume by Lorraine’s FB message that Tenley is no longer in a love square?

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This email from Shelly intrigues me:

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

The Prosecutor’s descent on Paradise dwellers caused quite the kerfuffle on Twitter:

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Liana gives us an important update too:

funny bachelor recap-BIP 5

Everyone seems to agree with Julie about Kentucky Joe. Here’s just a sample:

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

And then there’s this gem…

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

This made me LAUGH!

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Did the ABC Intern harvest some snakes for Kentucky Joe’s appearances?

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor In Paradise

From what I can tell, the bungee jump was EPIC!

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelorin Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

It sounds like Clare was having quite the night…

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

Jonathan’s night wasn’t much better. Really? A vest?

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

Deep thoughts by Linda:

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

Karen brings us home with TRUTH.

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor In Paradise

And finally, my good friend Emily keeps me in the know with important text updates:

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor in Paradise

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor

funny bachelor recap-Bachelor

Thank you so much for participating everyone! I will be back on schedule next week. I expect lots of drama with the arrival of Samantha!

 

Comments

59 Comments on "‘Bachelor in Paradise’ recap: A social media experience"

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Julie
Julie

Hilarious! And the fact that you deemed my FB post worthy of including just literally made my day 🙂

Beth
Beth

Poor Carly; her overdyed, platinum hair is in such terrible condition. Did anyone notice it just looks fried at the ends…part of her hair is chin length, the other is fake, unhealthy looking extensions. She needs to get a major makeover and let her hair rest from all the chemicals! And the thick dark eyebrows are just as bad as the pencil thin drawn on ones from last season.

Donna
Donna

I watched a video where Michelle Money was helping Carly fix her eyebrow problem…not sure she fixed it. And her wardrobe? Some please help her!

Ainsley
Ainsley

Carly has hypothyroidism which can cause your eyebrows to fall out and can make your hair coarse, dry and brittle. I agree the eyebrow makeup is a bit dark for her, but she was ridiculed online because they were so thin on the Bachelor (which she can’t help!), so you can’t fault her for trying to conceal the problem. Her hair would probably be in similar shape even without the platinum dye job – hypothyroidism can cause major texture changes. She is a very cute girl and it saddens me to see people be so hard on her over the eyebrows she can’t grow and then attack her when she tries to conceal the problem with makeup.

Donna
Donna

Sorry I sounded mean. I love Carly. I thought she looked beautiful on Chris’s season, and should have ignored the eyebrow controversy. Maybe her wardrobe is from her cruise ship job? I’m just sayin Michelle M didn’t do her any favors. I wish they would give her more airtime. She is so hilarious!

MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice

About Carly’s eyebrows and hypothyroidism, it causes the OUTER THIRD of your eyebrows to thin. It does not cause your eyebrows to be over plucked and then drawn in in half circle arches halfway up your forehead! They do look a little better this season, at least they are lower, thicker, and not as arched, but they are way too dark for her hair or vice versa.

Ainsley
Ainsley

Yes, it’s true that in most cases it is the outer third. But some people do lose more. I have the same condition and the outer thirds are almost completely gone and the rest is a lot thinner, too.

Jessica
Jessica

I just don’t understand how they didn’t break each other’s face on that bungee jump!

marymary
marymary

The bungee jumping did sound xrated! I’m surprised Jared didn’t go deaf with her screaming.

Joe making Jonathan cry was really sad; I had to fast forward through most of it. Joe is right though about Julia: she is not very smart.

I guess it is too boring, but I wish they would show us more normal conversations between Jade/Tanner, Ashley/Dan and Carly/Kirk.

Christine
Christine

Joe doesn’t exactly come off as being a rocket scientist himself, but he is cunning.

Margo
Margo

On this note..not just jeulia..all of them .”the right reasons” to be on BIP are one. ONE. temporary hookup. No more no less. That they act for camera like it’s more is the fabulous train wreck. Airhead adults.

Lorraine N
Lorraine N

Lincee, you made my week. I can’t believe that I’ve been included in one of your entertaining recaps.

Tanya T.
Tanya T.

The bungee harness must have been riding up something fierce on poor Claire as they had to paint on a fake digital purple bikini bottom. Heh.

Ruby
Ruby

Yes! The digital briefs were …odd. I wish they would have lent her the black modesty box instead. Weird purple digi diaper. She may have blown out Jared’s 8 year younger ear drums with the longest scream ever. Deal breaker.

delyla
delyla

Oh my – is that what that was??? lol I thought it was part of the harness holding her in. Guess I should have watched on the big TV but Hubby said, “no no no, I am not watching that garbage with you tonight.” Why I can’t imagine why not? Watching train wrecks are the highlight of my week. LOL

Kristin
Kristin

I noticed the purple box, too! And the pornographic sounds by Clare bungee jumping were AWFUL!

Lorraine N
Lorraine N

Not only did Jared throw the 8 year age in Clare’s face, but he follwed it up with “but you still look good…” No wonder Clare lost her mind at the rose ceremony.

Ruby
Ruby

Jared went from nice guy with unfortunate facial hair to dip wad with unfortunate facial hair for me in this episode. That conversation with Claire was ridiculous. And the manipulative Ashley I lash kiss? So gross.

Yesi
Yesi

I thought it was funny that he basically told her she’s a good for “right now” kind of girl. LOL! Not surprised she didn’t catch that though!

Yesi
Yesi

LOL apparently Clare was REALLY feeling the bungee jumping, but along with the age difference reason, Jared also made it seem like to him their chemistry was just meh.

delyla
delyla

I wish they had shown us more of the conversation. I want to know how they got to that point in the conversation. It was all very strange.

Fan in AZ
Fan in AZ

So many thoughts…

Oddly enough I do not like watching people make out (not sure how I still like this show), but if there’s one person I would be horrified to see making out all season, it is Joe. He seriously is a disgusting kisser. Also, apparently sociopathic. Not looking forward to Sam coming.

Mikey, while acting a little desperate this episode, has totally grown on me. He seems like a really nice, sincere guy. As done Jonathan. I hope they find nice girls this season.

Michael G. Please someone remind me about him from Des’ season… Was he a jerk? What was wrong with him? I was feeling sorry for him that Tenley didn’t pick him.

marymary
marymary

Fan, Michael was the guy that hung around until the final 5 or 6. He was always nice but you knew Des wasn’t that into him. I think he may have been on the 2 on 1 date with the jerky guy (Ben??) whom she sent home.

Fan in AZ
Fan in AZ

Oh, right! He’s the guy who told Des that Ben was a bad father or something. It’s all coming back to me. Thank you!

Ruby
Ruby

Poor Jonathan. That whole thing was just cringeworthy. I watched the after show (never again) and they had Jonathan on. OHCH asked him what he would say to Joe now. Part of the response was something like, “Don’t talk to me. Don’t call me. I’ve taken your name off my phone. …if you want to learn how to treat a woman, call me. Blah, blah, blah, threat.”
Wait.
These people.
I hope they can find love before the pretty wears off because, eesh.
And so many ugly tattoos on this show.

delyla
delyla

I was confused by Jonathan statement. “Don’t call me…blah blah blah…Call me.” Wait??? What??? Didn’t you just say not to call you and you had removed his name from your phone?

JustLiz
JustLiz

Ruby-

Omg the tattoos!!! Don’t even get me started! JJ’s ‘shoulder sleeve’….. Uglier than Ashley-Ilashes’ cry face!

As for Josh-UA, the theatre major/welder from Idaho- I have a theory that he got that Hawaiian hula dancer pre-BIP as a reminder of his time in Paradise (ie: Mexico!). It just seems like his bless your heart kind of logic, akin to when he handed Kaitlyn an electric hair trimmer, asking her to cut his hair, and to demonstrate how much he trusts her while doing so…blindfolding HIMSELF! (Hee!)

Or maybe it was just a simple case of ‘this one time, when I was on Molly… I blacked out and woke up covered in these stupid tattoos’.

delyla
delyla

“Or maybe it was just a simple case of ‘this one time, when I was on Molly… I blacked out and woke up covered in these stupid tattoos’.”

ROFLMAO

Ruby
Ruby

JustLiz, I snort chuckled at this. Bless his heart is right.

Kim
Kim

I’d guess the hula dancer is fake. I wore one for Halloween one year. He was probably trying to be funny.

SK
SK

Ruby, I think you just won the internet w/this line: “I hope they can find love before the pretty wears off ” LOL! My favorite of this entire recap!

JustLiz
JustLiz

Ruby-

I just snort chuckle giggled @ ‘I hope they can find love before the pretty wears off’

Hee! Paradise goggles?

delyla
delyla

Yay!!! I made Lincee’s blog! And first at that. 🙂
And I still think someone should punch Joe in the face.
I was absolutely appalled that someone didn’t overhear or have a significant example to give poor Julia as to why they believed Joe was there “for the wrong reasons!!!!!” Oh well, she will find out soon enough. Apparently next week we get to watch her cry the entire episode. It should be a refreshing change from seeing Ashley I cry the entire episode.

On that note, I believe Jared only went back to Ashley I for that disgusting kiss because he was pulling a Joe and wanted her rose. He knew he blew it with Claire bear!

Sheesh
Sheesh

Clare, Clare, Clare…

Screaming in someone’s ear for minutes on end like a child is pretty well always going to be a deal-breaker, as Ruby pointed out, unless you just had amazing sex. Even then it might not help.

But if you really want to turn someone off, ask them to removed the used food from your teeth. People point it out so they don’t have to look at it, not so they can help. Next time just fart.

Conbones
Conbones

hahahahahaha!!!! I thought the same thing! Please stop asking him to pick your teeth. sheesh

delyla
delyla

LOL that was disgusting!!! WTH was she thinking????

Yesi
Yesi

Oh my goodness how funny, I missed it! I don’t usually watch the end clips. So I thought “if you really want to turn someone off, ask them to remove the used food from your teeth” was a form of expression. Ugh. Too soon, Clare, too soon. HAHA!

Pia
Pia

Next time just fart. HAHAHA!!!

My vote for best line.

Kelli
Kelli

So is it wrong of me to wonder wtf was going through Elevenly’s mind to give a rose to JoshUA rather than Mr. Fed?

And as for Jared, that was a pretty tool move. He could have just said “I’m just not that into you” and left her age out of it. Wasn’t Kaitlyn that much older than him?

Fan in AZ
Fan in AZ

Yes, I thought Jared was a jerk to mention her age. He knew her age before he asked her out. If it bothered him, he should have chosen somebody else instead of leading her on and kissing her on their date. Also, it was gross that he made out with Ashley I. just to get the rose, since he had pissed off Clare. It was the first time I thought he played dirty.

Sheesh
Sheesh

Ok, not that it was a good choice (it never is) but maybe Josh thought it would be more polite to mention something Clare couldn’t do something about, her age, rather than anything that she could change, but in reality were were deal-breakers. (You can’t unpick someone’s teeth.) If you think about it, that could have been an even more awkward conversation.

And then of course he had to see if he might actually have any chemistry with Ashly I. (I thought it was worth it just to see her happy face.)

Margo
Margo

I wonder if producers asked jared to ask Clare on date. All the choices only to dump her? Me thinks Something is very fishy and contrived here. Oh what a shock!
I dislike joe the tool, but..he is there for the right,ahem, reasons. To get laid. Jeulia is not there for the right reason. Wrong environment girl.

Jordan
Jordan

About the Jared-Clare-Ashley situation, there is an article that Ashley wrote to Cosmopolitan (http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/news/a44669/bachelor-in-paradise-episode-2-recap/) that can give some light at what happened but it was not showed in the episode. I personally am finding her recaps quite interesting to read! Not as funny as yours, Lincee, of course!!! 😉

Cheers from a brazilian reader!

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