Bachelor Matt Recap: Rejection SUV
Bachelor Matt Recap | Week 7 |
It’s midday Friday, and I’ve started writing this recap a dozen different times. As many of you probably know, Texas has really taken a huge hit this week. What started for most people as a fun “snow day” turned into dire situations that felt very much like Hurricane Harvey. In a matter of seconds, the entire state — meaning millions of people — were suddenly without power.
No big deal, right? Suck it up and handle it. That seems doable until the moment that the water is turned off.
Many people who deal with snow regularly poke fun at Texans who don’t know how to handle themselves during a snowstorm, but might I remind them that I can count on two hands how many times I’ve seen snow in Texas in my life. And in those instances, it may, MAY, have lasted for an afternoon.
To have four days of record-breaking low temperatures well below freezing was devastating. No one had electricity. No one had water. A handful of individuals had gas stovetops or fireplaces. I knew of one person who had a generator, but I couldn’t get to that person because of dangerous street conditions. You saw the horrific accident that happened in Fort Worth, right?
Also, even if you could escape somewhere close to the sanctuary of warm heat and a hot shower in another region of the state, you would run into the same problem. Dallas, Austin, East Texas, West Texas, even Galveston were all in the same predicament. Plus, how are you going to get there when all the gas stations have NO POWER. Or the refinery has busted pipes?
The temperature inside houses was below freezing. Sure, you can use snow to flush the toilet, but how are you supposed to melt it when you have zero power or heat source? And no one knew this would be this way, which is why no one stocked up on food or water.
Needless to say, thank you to everyone who checked in during this time of unknown. I never want to sleep in 48-degree temperature again and will praise Jesus each time I flush the toilet from here to eternity.
It was a hot mess.
Speaking of hot mess, what’s up with Season 25, am I right?
I’ll admit that while watching Monday night’s episode, the general feel was different with the news of Our Host Chris Harrison’s pending absence due to comments he made regarding Rachael’s past. The entertainment value was definitely dampened as I witnessed Matt James puzzle through which families will be joining him at the Neapolitan.
Because we have a lot to cover since half the cast ended up in a black rejection SUV either by Matt James’ choice or her own accord, I’ll give you my thoughts on Our Host at the end of the post. Spoiler: It all makes me very sad on several different levels.
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. However, if you or someone you follow on TikTok happens to know, sort of know personally, or is friends with the local Starbucks barista who’s obsessed with Bridgerton and looks exactly like one of the contestants on the show — none of this is personal. I’m sure they are all lovely people.
Remember when Heather crashed the cocktail party in her white puka shell dress? And then she interrupted Pieper’s alone time, and Matt James laughed and laughed and laughed? Well, Pieper experienced a range of emotions, spanning from rageful cursing to lamentable weeping.
The other women quickly deduce that the long-limbed yellow-haired stranger is a discard from Cole-an’s season. Serena C. prepares to throw down while Kit makes a shiv out of an abandoned Diet Coke can and her liquid eyeliner pencil.
Meanwhile, Matt James listens intently as Heather eagerly explains to him the normalcy of her sudden appearance, given that their mutual BFF Hannah Brown thinks they would be perfect for each other. Who cares that hometowns are next week? She is ready for marriage, like, yesterday.
As Matt James leaves Heather to “consider” her offer, she dawdles off to make friendship bracelets with the remaining women. Obviously, they want nothing to do with Puka Shell Barbie. A light layer of bullying smatters their interjections before Heather decides to cry it out in a Nemacolin boardroom. She never meant to cause trouble!
Our Host Chris Harrison is called in to gauge where Matt James’ “head is at.” Raise your hand if this phrase drives you nuts? His head is literally on his neck. (Note my use of the word “literally.”)
Matt James eventually tells Heather that she’s gotta go and escorts her right through the revolving door to her waiting minivan. Matt James returns to the gaggle of women and casually explains that Heather will not be on his journey to find love. He lazily smiles and says, “No one will be joining us who is not on that couch.” Then he apologizes to Pieper for rudely cutting off their alone time.
This reaction results in all the women fanning themselves in a way that depicts hot and bothered. They find his respectful behavior extremely attractive.
ROSE CEREMONY / REJECTION #2
Along with Michelle Obama Arms, Pieper, and Bri, roses are quickly handed to Rachael, Serena P, Kit, Jessenia, and Abigail. Chelsea and Other Serena are out, and neither seems heartbroken about it.
“Can Our Love Go Deeper?”
Serena P. excuses an impressive Jump & Straddle) right into the arms of her new tantric yoga partner.
Come again now?
Although Serena P. is hella flexible, managing to touch her toes to her head whilst Matt James holds her high above his body using only his feet (go with me on that description), Serena P. does not have the time of her life. No matter how much she resembles Baby during the big lift in the final dance at Kellerman’s.
My favorite part about this date is when Matt James asks Serena P. if she enjoyed herself. She honestly answers that it was THE WORST. Matt James absolutely loves her response and throws his head back in a boisterous laugh when she deduces that tantric yoga “isn’t for me.”
On the one hand, Matt James wonders if he and SP are on the same wavelength. On the other, he is happy that she is not telling him what he wants to hear. He is ecstatic to discover that Serena is grateful for time with Matt James, even if her nether regions were squished up against his in the name of entertaining television.
Matt James gives her the date rose, then takes her ice skating in a parking lot rink, complete with fake snow flurries. My gut tells me that Serena is not feeling it at all, and Matt James knows it.
“Love Will Always Find a Way”
Here’s the deal. Abigail, the first impression rose winner, is on this group date and understandably wonders why she hasn’t had a one-on-one date? Heading into the reading of this date card, at least she and Jessenia are in the same boat. Sadly, when Jessenia’s name isn’t included in the list of “lucky” recipients, After six weeks, I myself would have drawn the same conclusion as Abigail: “What am I doing here?”
Suddenly, a weird thing happens. We see Matt James casually pedaling in the Orange Zone on his Peleton bike in his green shorty shorts. Then we see all the ladies in their cocktail dresses cuddling around a couch, toasting a wonderful day and an even better night.
Did I miss something? Did I zip right through some date where they have to play Simon Says in the forest? Or smack into each other at the Neapolitan Roller Derby?
Nope. We have bigger fish to fry, and the producers wanted to give ample time for what’s to come.
We begin with Bri, who decides to finally tell Matt James something that she’s kept from him this entire time. It turns out that a few days ago, she gave up her high-profile job at a media relations company to stay in the competition. In her mind, Matt James is worth it, given that she has totally fallen in love with him. There’s nothing anyone can say to make her think differently.
Abigail asks for some alone time with Matt James and fights back the tears when she confesses, “It’s been hard.” She manages not to smack him in the face when he responds with a quizzical, “Why do you say that?”
Abigail daintily explains that she wants more than a little time here and there. She thinks they have great conversations and have been vulnerable with one another, but if he really pictures in his mind what he wants in a wife, is she it? She’d rather know now if that answer is no.
Which it is most definitely. The answer is no. I’m very proud of Abigail for ripping that Band-Aid and getting the inevitable over with now instead of later.
Matt James has reached the portion of his journey where all excuses land somewhere in the “I’m following my heart” or “My relationships with other women have moved further along.” But he does apologize to her before walking her to the rejection SUV.
In true Bachelor form, he gives her a token of hope, declaring that he wished they had more time to see where things could have gone. That, my friends, is a dagger to the heart. Because you did have time. And you spend two one-on-one dates with Serena P. What’s Abigail supposed to think?
AND THEN THERE IS THIS!
Kit is feeling very much like she’s on the B Team. She approaches her time with Matt James from a defensive stance. She goes in hot, laying everything on the table in the spirit of truth.
Kit: “There are things I have seen for my life trajectory. Ones I’m not willing to compromise. I want to finish school, travel, figure out my career, and I want a cheerleader to help me through all of that. Which means marriage and children are going to be pushed down the road. I wouldn’t want kids until I’m twenty-five or so.”
Excuse me while I barf in this bucket I have handy for certain necessities one might need during a sudden snowpocalypse.
- If you’re not ready for marriage, why are you on The Bachelor?
- You are twenty-one years old. WHY ARE YOU ON THE BACHELOR?
- Are you sure you want to wait until twenty-five to have kids? Won’t your eggs be dust balls by then?
- How is Matt James not laughing at this life trajectory being planned out in front of him?
- And how can she say she’s suddenly falling in love with him when he has yet to agree to said life trajectory?
- Should we be surprised when Kit thinks she has the rose in the bag, considering Matt James didn’t shut that pipe dream down right there in the Neapolitan?
The clutch move is when Matt James gives the date rose to Rachael, then waves as he whisks her away to eight-grade slow dance to the vocal stylings of a dude named Aloe Blaac, who is totally cool with quarantining for two weeks as a trade for thirty seconds on national television. Easy decision. I can’t say that his piano accompaniment guy thinks the same.
Kit is L-I-V-I-D and knows that if she has any chance of attending Stagecoach, should they actually have one this year, she needs out of this hellhole. Matt James opens his suite door to find the posh pocket person looking miserable.
She doesn’t want Matt James to “figure it out.” She wants to know if she’s the “rest of his life.” Matt James calmly tells Kit that he is attracted to her and extremely happy that she’s around. He like her being in his entourage!
But Kit doesn’t want an entourage. She wants a husband. Down the road. Who will wait patiently for her to graduate and enjoy a gap year before taking over her mother’s business. THEN she will be ready to walk down that aisle.
Kit shuts Mat James down and he is secretly happy that he’s the one who didn’t have to send her home.
SECOND ONE-ON-ONE / REJECTION #5
Poor Jessenia’s date felt exactly like Kate’s date. Even though it was an adrenaline-filled car crash in the back forty of the property, it was very Friend Zone. The fact that she had to prompt him to pick her up and sprawl her body out on the hood of the red sports car for a quick make-out sesh was the nail in the coffin.
I don’t remember the dinner portion of her date, other than the fact that it was decorated like a prom unmistakably themed “Enchantment Under the Sea” or “Knight to Remember.” But instead of crowning her queen, Matt James takes the date rose, wafts it under her nose, and then tells her that he can’t give it to her because there is no spark. Ouch.
At the rose ceremony, Matt James wastes no time quickly handing roses to Michelle Obama Arms and Bri. I have to admit that I was slightly surprised that Pieper didn’t make it to the other side. She was equally as surprised and is probably still crying.
OUR HOST CHRIS HARRISON
This entire situation makes me sad on many levels. Rachael’s decisions or lack of respect were not okay and make me sad. Harrison’s comments were careless and insensitive and make me sad. I wrestle with levels of consequences and grace. I wonder about my own college experience and am thankful it wasn’t captured on social media. I hope that everyone, including me, continues to grow and learn from these events.