Bachelor Nick and His Ladies

Let’s talk about the great big elephant in the room: Bachelor Nick.

Some of you think this he is a slimy, skinny jean wearing punk who thinks he can waltz up to any woman and charm his way into her life. Others watched the last season of Bachelor in Paradise and grappled with these strange, unfamiliar feelings for Bachelor Nick. Was it affection? Was it redemption? Was it the countless Starburst jellybeans I chased with an ice cold Dr Pepper?

Here’s the truth: It doesn’t matter where you land on the Nick-ometer. That’s what’s going to make this season SO MUCH FUN! Mike Fleiss wanted someone with a sketchy past. He needed the exact opposite of Ben “Peter Brady” Higgins. A win for the marketing team will be the fodder that surrounds the position that Bachelor Nick currently holds. Do we love him? Do we hate him? Are we indifferent?

Whatever the case may be, I’m excited for season 21 of The Bachelor. Much like seasons of yore, Nick will be dating duplicate copies of the exact same girl. But in a surprising twist, this year they have different skin tones.

Kudos to the casting department for choosing quite a diverse group of gorgeous ladies. Other than geography, the net wasn’t cast very wide in my opinion. Every single girl answered a question the exact same way as another contestant. Or maybe ABC wants us to think that. I can’t be sure.

As a collective group, here’s what we know about the 30 ladies:

  • Many answered that Scandal was their favorite TV show and multiple girls either wanted to be or meet Olivia Pope. Did the producers ask them to pick their favorite drama from a list of ABC shows?
  • Affirmative. Three girls listed Dancing with the Stars in their bios.
  • Chrissy Teigen and Carrie Bradshaw are also on pedestals with this group.
  • Nicholas Sparks is mentioned at least 50-percent of the time.
  • Titanic comes in a close second to The Notebook in the favorite movie category.
  • Nurses must have the flexibility to leave for long stretches of time to go on a dating reality show.
  • Several girls add the half sign or 0.5 to their height. It’s very important for you to know that they are 5’7.5” instead of wimpy 5’7”.
  • The majority can’t live without their mothers or their cell phones.
  • The phrase “duh” was interjected more times than I care to count. I can report that one girl used it twice in one answer.
  • Chapstick and lip balm is essential to these ladies.
  • There’s an unnatural love of all things Little Mermaid and dolphins.
  • I have no idea why producers asked the ladies what kind of fruit or vegetable they would be, but three answered “pineapple.” Some of you may not know that pineapple is the IHGB safe word. Use it when you’re feeling overwhelmed or want a moment to end.

Here’s what we know about each contestant:

Bachelor Nick

Alexis
23
Secaucus, NJ
Aspiring Dolphin Trainer
Alexis loves the water and dolphins. She wants to be the Little Mermaid. I’ll allow it. However, not being able to live without fake eyelashes or her Crest white strips may pose a problem. I don’t think either of those hold up well in water. She’s going to have to make a decision. Is she land Ariel or sea Ariel? According to the post photo above, she compromises and chooses to stay on land wearing a dolphin costume. I guess the sexy Ariel costumes from the back room at Party City were sold out.

Bachelor Nick

Angela
26
Greenville, SC
Model
Angela is also a dolphin lover. Will she be mad that Alexis was bold enough to prove her love for dolphins by wearing a costume? We’ll have to wait and see. Angela can’t live without her mom, phone and doesn’t like to drive. She prefers guys who aren’t silly or immature, yet she admits that she licks popcorn bags. Fingers crossed that there is butter on those bags.

Bachelor Nick

Astrid
26
Tampa, FL
Plastic Surgery Office Manager
I can’t believe Astrid has grown into such a sweet young lady! She loves both dolphins and the Little Mermaid and her mom and fake eyelashes. What are the odds? She doesn’t want to work and is afraid of dying alone and getting wrinkles. Sounds like Astrid is suffering from work anxiety.

Bachelor Nick

Briana
28
Salt Lake City, UT
Surgical Unit Nurse
I kid you not, this girl mentioned dolphins too. Four in a row. She likes pineapple, the TV show Friends and her favorite meal is a Big Mac meal from McDonald’s. Change that last part to number 5 eight-count at Chick-Fil-A and this girl could be me, minus the dolphin frenzy, plus 13 years of wisdom.

Bachelor Nick

Brittany
26
Santa Monica, CA
Travel Nurse
I had to text my nurse friend Stephanie to double check that a travel nurse is real a thing. It is. Brittany doesn’t like the cold. I’d like to remind Brittany that I think Nick lives in Chicago, where it’s cold. I definitely know his family is from Wisconsin, where it is also cold. Brittany admires Beyonce and thinks food is the way to a man’s heart. So are jaunty scarves if we’re talking about Nick.

Bachelor Nick

Christen
25
Tulsa, OK
Wedding Videographer
Christen tricked me at first with all her political talk. She wants to meet the president and break into the White House to see what really goes on. After carefully deciphering her bio, it became clear that she is obsessed with Scandal. She’s afraid of failure and her muse is Katniss Everdeen. I guess Olivia’s life is too much of a mess for Christen to aspire to be just like her. For the record, Team Peeta.

Bachelor Nick

Corinne
24
Miami, FL
Business Owner
My favorite thing about Corinne is that she has tattoos, but she’s lasering them off. Dear reader, never, ever, ever, ever, ever get a boyfriend or girlfriend’s name permanently printed on any part of your body. Choose something generic, like Grace. That way when you break up, no one will ever know that it was originally an amalgamation of Grant and Lace. Corinne also watches Frasier, which was on NBC. Strange. I’m glad she has TV Land to enjoy the wit and wisdom of Dr. Frasier Crane. Nick can tell her all about the times he watched the original in the ‘90s when she was just a toddler. So fun. Corinne’s perfect date is “an ultimate dining experience in an amazing location.” Nailed it.

Bachelor Nick

Danielle L.
27
Los Angeles, CA
Small Business Owner
Danielle L. loves Nicholas Sparks, Chrissy Teigen, Olivia Pope and opened her own online business at the age of 23. I’m guessing an Etsy shop. The most outrageous thing she’s ever done is swing from a rope into a waterfall even though the sign read “locals only.” #rebel

Bachelor Nick

Danielle M.
31
Nashville, TN
Neonatal Nurse
Danielle M’s favorite movies are Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Notebook. She “moved to Nashville and put myself back together” because her fiancé passed away. Her answers were both mature and playful. If she’s over the pain of her loss, and there have been several years for her to properly grieve, she might be a contender. On the other hand, she’s and old lady at 31-years-old.

Bachelor Nick

Dominique
25
Los Angeles, CA
Restaurant Server (read: aspiring actress)
If Dominique could eat lunch with three different people, she would choose to eat burritos from Chipotle with her grandfather, Leonardo DiCaprio and Jesus. She likes Olivia Pope and prefers to think of herself as a pineapple. She also can’t live without Chipotle burritos. Clearly Dominque is a restaurant server at Chipotle and the only way they would give her eight weeks off from work is if she mentioned them twice in her bio.

Bachelor Nick

Elizabeth “Liz”
29
Las Vegas, NV
Doula
Liz can’t live without coconut oil, floss, music and her Bible. Her greatest moment was when she cut her sister’s kid’s umbilical cord. It’s okay. She’s a doula. She answered “kill someone” to the question, “If I never have to ______, I would be very happy.” She is a Beliber — as in Justin — and likes to pick her nose in the comfort of her car. For some reason, I like her.

Bachelor Nick

Elizabeth
24
Dallas, TX
Marketing Manager
Elizabeth typically meets guys on Bumble, but is very excited to meet a certain special guy in front of millions of viewers. Insert winky face emoji here. She would like to meet Kate Middleton, Britney Spears and wants her kids to attend the same high school she did. Her phobias include claustrophobia and misophonia. Elizabeth instructs us to use the Google to look up misophonia because it’s a real thing. I did and I’m now convinced I suffer from it too.

Bachelor Nick

Hailey
23
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Photographer
I think Hailey is going to be our odd duck. She even looks a little bored in her photo. She started off great, mentioning how she traveled to China to build schools and teach orphans. Hailey loves Sheryl Crow and Dr. Seuss, then she wrote “only children are strange” and butterflies are creepy. Hailey is one of four 23-year-olds who will undoubtedly band together to complain about SnapChat withdrawals.

Bachelor Nick

Ida Marie
23
Harlingen, TX
Sales Manager
Sweet, precious, little Ida Marie might be eaten alive by the girls in the mansion. Her favorite book? She doesn’t read them. Her favorite author? See above. Bless her. Here’s hoping she has a little hood rat in her to keep things interesting.

Bachelor Nick

Jaimi
28
New Orleans, LA
Chef
Jaimi once catered a party for the Oscars. That’s pretty cool. She would like to bench press a man with her legs. I imagine Nick might be up for that. She only eats fish, birds and byproducts. No wonder she’s a chef.

Bachelor Nick

Jasmine B.
25
Tacoma, WA
Flight Attendant
“I don’t usually chase men. I’m attractive and have a lot of great qualities. I want a man who pursues me and gives me assurance that I’m what he wants.” YESSSSSS! Also, I believe this is the first time a woman has worn a turtle neck for a profile pic.

Bachelor Nick

Jasmine G.
29
San Francisco, CA
Pro Basketball Dancer
Jasmine G. is afraid of open water, which means the producers will have her swimming with turtles in week 3. If given the opportunity, she would eat pizza with RuPaul, Dave Chappelle and Prince. Interesting. No Olivia Pope?

Bachelor Nick

Josephine
24
Santa Cruz, CA
Unemployed Nurse
Josephine’s bio was completely picked apart. First of all, why specify that you are an unemployed nurse? Second, her bio is the only one that asked about religion. She’s Jewish, but not really. I guess that means only on the high holidays? Third, they asked her a lot of questions about musical theater which makes me nervous. She will be singing at some point in this season if she gets past the first week. And I will be behind the cushion mumbling something about a pineapple. PS: Her cold shoulder/clavicle blouse is not my favorite.

Bachelor Nick

Kristina
24
Lexington, KY
Dental Hygienist
Kristina is young and has lived a hard life. She wants you to know that she is strong, independent and fully capable of making life work with whatever you throw at her. She likes Meryl Streep, Finoa from Shrek and the Ninja Warrior TV show. She’d also like to meet her biological mother so she could, “ask if choosing alcohol over kids was worth it.” I’m not sure this is the healthiest outlet for Kristina to thrive.

Bachelor Nick

Lacey
25
Manhattan, NY
Digital Marketing Manager
I think Lacey might be the resident good girl. She knows Arabic, likes Dancing with the Stars and her biggest regret is giving people too many chances. She’s never brought a guy home to meet the family, which makes me think she might go far. She also might go far if she keeps wearing bustiers as tops.

Bachelor Nick

Lauren
30
Naples, FL
Law School Graduate
Lauren’s answers read like one of the 23-year-olds. She’s a dolphin lover, is eager to have a house full of kids one day, can’t live without her soft Hall & Oats t-shirt, is mesmerized by rock formations and apparently doesn’t have a job.

Bachelor Nick

Michelle
24
Los Angeles, CA
Food Truck Owner
Michelle speaks Portuguese and once went hang gliding in Rio. There’s no mention of her contracting the Zika virus. Her pretend buddies are Albus Dumbledore, Gwen Stefani, Princess Diana and Carrie Bradshaw, because who wouldn’t want Carrie’s friends and closet?

Bachelor Nick

Olivia
25
Anchorage, AK
Apparel Sales Representative
The one girl named Olivia never mentions Olivia Pope. This Olivia was a kicker for her high school football team, which is pretty cool. She likes Nicholas Sparks, wants to be Superwoman and is afraid of not being able to find love. That’s a legitimate concern. She’s a quarter of a century old. Time is ticking.

Bachelor Nick

Rachel
31
Dallas, TX
Attorney
Michelle Obama is everything to Rachel. So is Jean-Michel Basquiat. She wants you to know that she passed the bar the first time she took it. She used to be all about her career, but she’s not anymore. She’s ready to find love. Give her a guy who loves ‘90s country music and Justin Beiber and she’ll be a happy woman! (Quick poll: Does this guy even exist?)

Bachelor Nick

Raven
25
Hoxie, AR
Fashion Boutique Owner
Raven totally wasted her “who would you be for a day” card when she chose Blue Ivy. Hello! Pick Beyonce next time. She wants to be Jasmine (the princess not the contestants) because she has great hair and a pet tiger. She’s not afraid of growing old because she plans on being nipped and tucked — tastefully done of course.

Bachelor Nick

Sarah
26
Newport Beach, CA
Grade School Teacher
Sarah is a free spirit. She quotes The Notebook “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird” line. Her imaginary besties are Meredith Grey, Olivia Pope and Carrie Bradshaw. (Is Sex and the City on Netflix or something? What’s up with all the Carrie Bradshaw love?) Sarah moved to New York City with nothing but three dollars and two bags of clothes. And now she has a star named after her. Dreams really do come true, kids!

Bachelor Nick

Susannah
26
San Diego, CA
Account Manager
Oh Susannah. I’m going to cry for her because her greatest achievement is flying to Europe on a whim. She might be a little bit of a self-proclaimed dork, too She once tried to look sexy picking up a pen in front of high school crush and banged her head on a table. Susannah follows in nine other footsteps and also wants to be Ariel. Oh, and she has a shoe addiction. An expensive shoe addiction.

Bachelor Nick

Taylor
23
Seattle, WA
Mental Health Counselor
Taylor is wacky! She went streaking once. She also buys her clothes from Forever 21, also known as Forever XXI. If she wanted to impress a man, she would 1) Be herself 2) Be open and authentic and 3) Look Bomb. I’m wearing Christmas leggings and a Baylor sweatshirt right now. Am I bomb?

Bachelor Nick

Vanessa
29
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Special Education Teacher
Vanessa has potential. She speaks French, Italian and works hard to succeed in life. Her fruit/vegetable pick was an onion, because it’s a staple item. She mentions that she’s afraid of hurting people’s feelings. If she keeps conversation light and sets up shop as the RA of the group shepherding the millennials through “he said / she said” gossip, I believe she has a chance.

Bachelor Nick

Whitney
25
Chanhassen, MN
Pilates Instructor
Whitney wants to be Gisele because she’s married to Tom Brady. I get the attraction, but maybe don’t answer your reality dating show questionnaire with secret desires of being married to people other than the one you’re there to fall in love with.

What do you think? Is Bachelor Nick’s future bride on this list? Who has most potential on paper? Can you live without coconut oil? Are you pumped for season 21? Sound off in the comments section!

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Kelli
Kelli

Hailey and Whitney do NOT look like they want to even be on this show by their profile pictures. Kristina may be our resident nut job. In any case, I really did start to like Nick in BIP and hope he does find love in his season. Cannot WAIT!!

Tasha
Tasha

Did Jasmine try out for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders because man she looks familiar. How else would I know a pro basketball dancer???

Tasha
Tasha

Yep, I’m totally right, she was DCC. I’m a little ashamed that I knew that. I found an article about it but I won’t link it since it has spoilers.

Melissa
Melissa

YES! That’s where I’ve seen her, DCC! Thank you 🙂

Baseballmama
Baseballmama

I wondered the same thing. That’s the only thing I could come up with

Kayla
Kayla

My sister says yes – she was a DCC for 3 years before getting cut

Babs
Babs

Well, they are all very pretty! He got much prettier girls than JoJo got handsome guys that’s for sure! I am on the fence about Nick, it seemed weird the way he ended paradise with Jenn. I’m pretty convinced he’s just in it for the 10th time to extend his 45 minutes of fame, but maybe he will fall in love despite himself. Either way, I’m sure i will enjoy the show and enjoy your recaps even more!

A in Spain

I thought there would be some older ladies because nick is 35! Sad to see these babies in their early 20s. Maybe I should have applied. (31, but I’m not crazy about dolphins)

Briana
Briana

Oh, don’t you worry I love me a chicken nugget meal from Chik-fil-A

malgorzata
malgorzata

Lincee, popularity of Pineapple (fresh) among our ladies is perhaps due to Bromelein contained in its core. Boxers have been consuming it before matches for decades to eliminate bruising. Became popular with those who practice Botox injection. Bromelein is excellent for our digestion, and this little enzyme can kill all radicals causing inflamation in our bodies. Our gals are smart.

abby
abby

is this comment for real?

April
April

Yay, it’s Lincee’s Bachelor recaps season again! Can’t wait for the season to start, not because I always watch but because your recaps are always so fun to read. Love the Office Astrid/Astird reference, and you also got an LOL from me with Pineapple… I remember… and fully expect it to be uttered from behind couch cushions repeatedly this season!

April
April

Wouldn’t miss it.

Alison
Alison

I’m kind of thinking Vanessa! Based on what you wrote (I haven’t done further research, but I have full trust in you to uncover anything we need to know!), she’s intelligent, which is definitely something Nick has going for him. I love her onion answer (out-of the box!), plus she’s a brunette, which we know he likes. I am a bit surprised at how young all these women are, but I suppose many “older women” already have careers they can’t abandon for weeks or completely/aren’t trying to make it as the next Instagram star, right? I am so looking forward to your re-caps, I live for them!

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Maddison
Maddison

Danielle M. is the girl in the Cole Swindell music video, “Middle of a Memory.” Just a random fact for you….

Jen
Jen

I am scared for Nick. Being the same age as him, I can’t imagine having anything to talk about with 90% of these girls. But I’m sure it will make good tv.

abby
abby

josephine must have petitioned to have her bio changed from unemployed nurse to registered nurse (i don’t see anything about unemployment)…but the MORE interesting thing from her bio is that she lists herself as 5’7.75″ (DON’T FORGET THE THREE-FOURTHS PEOPLE IT’S VERY IMPORTANT).

also, nick likes ’em young, huh? (or is that the producers?) only three ladies with a “3” in front of their age despite nick being 36. a little sad, really.

anyways, i’m PUMPED for this to start up again in a few weeks!!! hope it’s a good one!

Deebee

Wow, so many way too young gals. And many must go to the same hairdresser! But I’m sure it will be an entertaining season.

Shelley
Shelley

I’m just hoping he picks one less that 10 years younger, which is only 9 girls in this group. I’m going to go for the upbeat assumption and assume most women over the age of 26 are working in real careers and can’t just run away for 6 weeks.