Bachelor in Paradise recap: Love is a battlefield

We are young. Heartache to heartache, we stand. No promises, no demands. Love is a battlefield. And Ashley I-Lashes will win WITH HER MIND.

Guess what beaners? My recap of episode 7 of Bachelor in Paradise can be found over on the Entertainment Weekly website. I filled in for the wonderful Samantha Highfill. All you have to do is click HERE and it will take you right to the drama of Ashley I-Lashes’ sabotage, Vinny’s tears, Izzy’s tears, Carly’s sweat hut and Caila’s perfect hair. Enjoy!

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Brenda
Brenda
August 23, 2016 10:16 pm

Wow this is huge news. Congratulations!

tracee
tracee
August 24, 2016 8:19 am

Of course…we all knew we couldn’t keep your brilliance to ourselves forever! Congratulations…….

Kelli
Kelli
August 24, 2016 10:38 am

Awesome!

Ashley has officially crossed a line with me. If Jared wants to make a relationship with Caila work, he is going to flat out have to tell Ashley that they cannot be friends because her behavior is completely unacceptable. It’s pretty crappy that ABC is allowing this to continue with her and the psychiatrist needs to show up pronto. If Jared wants Ashley as a friend, he’s going to have to accept that there will NEVER be another romantic relationship in his entire life. I actually got angry with her antics last night. Up until now, the trainwreck has been fun, but she’s taken it to a whole other level.

Christine
Christine
August 24, 2016 11:18 am
Reply to  Kelli

Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you, Kelli!
Ashley is horrid, and Jared is a big part of the problem. They both need to see the Bachelor psychologist. I just want Ashley out of there, and I think less of Jared every episode since she has shown up.
Paradise is a topsy-turvy world this summer. I now think more highly of Nick and a lot less of Jared.

T-Bone
T-Bone
August 24, 2016 6:45 pm
Reply to  Kelli

Do you think Nick will ever embrace his eskimo brotherhood with S. Booth? I think they should be going to lunch or for tea and crumpets on a regular basis.

On average, how many STDs do you think each cast member has? I’m going with 1.29 (Lace is definitely skewing the numbers).

JoLo
JoLo
August 24, 2016 10:54 am

Evan is the bomb. Brett is hot.

abby
abby
August 24, 2016 11:32 am

that’s awesome that you got to fill in on EW!! however, the “vibe” of the writing felt way different and i didn’t enjoy the recap nearly as much as i usually do. i figure the style of writing needed to be different for that media outlet, but still…i miss regular lincee and regular recaps! hoping we are back to our regularly-scheduled programming next week!!!

Babs
Babs
August 24, 2016 1:43 pm
Reply to  abby

I agree but totally understood why it needed to be different. Whenever I tell people to read Lincee I always tell them what OHCH means and “He who shall not be named ” etc. it was still great Lincee!

Mollie A
Mollie A
August 24, 2016 3:17 pm
Reply to  abby

Agreed. Kudos on EW! But, yes, I too miss all the Lincee-isms that we’ve grown to love. Last night’s episode was a snooze fest. I look forward to the storm that OHCH keeps telling us is brewing in each’s week’s preview.

Aimee
Aimee
August 26, 2016 8:31 am
Reply to  Lincee

I thought it was great! I was actually glad you used Evans name because in my office we always recap the show and I always want to call Evan, Ed! Haha. Now the girls know who I mean but at first they would always be like who is Ed! 🙂 Great as always!! 🙂

Tricia
Tricia
August 24, 2016 11:36 am

So this season has really made me struggle with ABC and the clear exploitation of the trainwreck characters like Chad and Ashley I. Chad’s was gross and sad but Ashley makes me angry. She is a lunatic and I’m so glad Nick has been honest with her that she’s obsessed and not in love. I hope she enjoys her friendship with Jared because unless Calia does him horribly wrong she can kiss that friendship goodbye once he sees her interviews admitting trying to mess things up for them. What a spoiled B!

I just can’t on Evan and Carly. The whole thing reeks of desperation & again she has some nice explaining to do once this thing airs.

Who ever thought I would be cheering for Nick! Love him. I’m so disappointed in Josh. I know lots of people that know their family and agree nothing he has done post Andi has been good. I’m holding onto hope that his little brother is still good. He was one of my favorite QB’s UGA (my alma mater) has had!

Congrats Lincee on more EW coverage. That’s very exciting and much deserved.

Sincethebeginning
Sincethebeginning
August 24, 2016 2:04 pm

Michelle said that they are announcing the next Bachelor on After Paradise next week!!! I can’t wait. I like Chase and Robbie (sort of) but I’m thinking Vinny would be a great Bach now that I watched him on there.

CO Kathleen
CO Kathleen
August 24, 2016 2:58 pm

Could definitely get behind Vinny! What a great guy!

Mollie A
Mollie A
August 24, 2016 3:18 pm

LUKE!

Tasha
Tasha
August 25, 2016 12:04 am

Nick! Never thought I’d say that.

sincethebeginning
sincethebeginning
August 25, 2016 7:49 am

Oooooooooooh, I forgot about Luke!! If he’s in the running, I like him too. Vinny, Nick or Luke! How is this the bachelor world we’re living in ??!?!

Ronnie
Ronnie
August 24, 2016 3:17 pm

Great recap, Lincee!

Ashley is awful through and through. I wish the other people on the show would stop enabling her in real life and defending her on social media, especially after hearing the comments she made last night. What an ugly person she is.

Deebee
Deebee
August 24, 2016 9:38 pm

I’m pretty much done with Ashley I. She strikes me as the kind of gal that if Jared ever officially became her boyfriend, she would threaten to kill herself if he tried to break it off. Jared needs to cut the umbilical cord or he will be stuck with her for a very long time. I don’t know what girlfriend of his would ever put up with this b.s.

Allia
Allia
August 24, 2016 11:08 pm

Congrats Lincee!!! Great recap as always! All the vibing is driving me nuts too.
I think there is a lot more to Ashley than what we see on screen. I’ve seen her on a couple of interviews, and she actually comes off as pretty self-aware. I think she is just acting crazy for TV… and Jared is not a total idiot. He trusts her for a reason. For what it’s worth, I believe she was right about Caila not being all that into him, hence the indecisiveness and the general luke-warmness.
Carly makes me want to smack my head against the table. Janner were right on the money about her trying too hard with Evan. The girl needs to build some self esteem and stop doing these reality shows.
Felt pretty bad for Vinny… he got dumped for barber 2.0. He seems like a nice guy too. Oh well, I guess that’s paradise.

NYGal
August 25, 2016 7:07 am
Reply to  Allia

Caila comes from a very affluent background — fancy private school, beautiful neighborhood — and I can’t picture her settling down with an Applebee’s manager.

Heather
Heather
August 25, 2016 10:55 am
Reply to  NYGal

Ha ha ha! This just cracked me up! I always think that same thing – Jared is just like a bartender – why is everyone so into him? Yuck.

Jamey Jam
Jamey Jam
August 25, 2016 2:51 pm
Reply to  Heather

I’m not a big Jared fan, but “Yuck” because he’s “just a bartender”? (I thought he managed a restaurant, by the way, whether it’s Applebee’s or something else.) I agree that if Caila comes from a wealthy family then she might be setting her sights higher, but I don’t think it’s fair to insult someone for being a bartender or working at Applebee’s. It’s a good thing to be have a job PERIOD. I find that way more respectable than making a living by promoting products on Instagram.

Allia
Allia
August 25, 2016 8:57 pm
Reply to  Jamey Jam

Totally agree with you! If I had a nickel for every contestant on this show who had a “former” or “twin” in their job title… at least this guy works for a living.
And I AM a fan of Jared 😉 he seems like a nice, decent guy. I’ve never heard him say one mean thing about a person. That’s pretty rare nowadays…

Eh?
Eh?
August 26, 2016 7:44 am
Reply to  Lincee

Why not Jared for bachelor? (If it doesn’t work out with Caila.) The only reason he hasn’t cut Ashley loose is because he’s too nice and doesn’t want anyone to get their eye balls scratched out.

Lesly
Lesly
August 25, 2016 10:28 am

Congrat Lincee! I’ve been reading your blog forever and have always loved it. I do have one observation/criticism about your write up on EW though. I’m not sure who edited it, but it didn’t have the same feel and flow of how you write your recaps on your blog. It was very choppy and dry and I missed some of that Lincee feel it had. I know that’s vague but I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly it was. But besides that, you totally deserve recognition because you write the best recaps!

Eh?
Eh?
August 26, 2016 7:56 am
Reply to  Lesly

Congratulations! Other than having to click one more button, sigh, I totally enjoyed your recap! As clever as ever, Lincee girl.

Sara
Sara
August 25, 2016 10:43 am

I have to say, you writing for EW is about the happiest I’ve ever felt for someone I don’t know in real life! Congratulations! It is well deserved!

Ashley (or the character she’s created for the show) may be crazy, but none of that would matter if Jared wasn’t such a tool. He’s never going to be in a happy relationship if he can’t stop leading Ashley on and take what she’s says with a grain of salt.

Christine
Christine
August 25, 2016 12:03 pm
Reply to  Sara

Amen, Sara!

TX QP
August 26, 2016 1:58 pm

Lincee, I swear Ashley I said “struggle bus” this episode. Isn’t that YOUR phrase, created for Britt who was also on Ashley’s season? I stood up and cheered for you when she said it. And congrats on the EW gig, I missed some of your inside jokes (denim panties), but I still saw some of our faves… Great job!

Andrea
Andrea
August 26, 2016 4:41 pm

Lincee, your post for EW was perfect for that audience! Don’t be disheartened by the loyal fans who like this version a little better, it makes perfect sense that you’d need to alter it slightly for the masses. And how cool that you got that exposure!! Maybe when you’re hugely famous writing for them all the time, you can also have an expanded version here on your site for those of us who’ve loved you all along! 🙂

Carol S.
Carol S.
August 26, 2016 9:07 pm

Poor Vinny. I think some pairs match up early for security of getting a rose, stick together when no one better comes along…then realize this is just not my ideal match, I gotta make a break. The new barber did not strike me as anyone’s “ideal live at first sight” guy, so wasn’t buying that. Did izzy and new barber even chat later in the episode? Vinny came out on top in the end.

Nice EW recap! Had to buzz back over here as your commenters are another great part of your blog.

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