Bachelor Peter Recap: Fifth Time’s a Charm

Eight: Number of red dresses
Seven: Number of silvery/blue dresses
Ten: Number of black dresses
One: Number of women who could pull off a cat suit made of lace
Infinity: Number of times I sighed at Our Host Chris Harrison

This is season 24 of The Bachelor!

Alayah — ROSE
24
San Antonio, TX
Ortho Assistant
Why you remember her:

It is without a doubt in my mind, that the things you remember are Alayah’s boobs. She wants you to remember her boobs so she puts the double deckers out there on display. Sure, her grandmother’s letter which sings Alayah’s praises is adorable, but all she really cares about is that you know she has boobs and you are welcome to feast your eyes on whatever is not covered by the billowy lilac material, which is sixty-seven-percent of a nice pair of double Ds. 

Alexa — ROSE
27
Chicago
Esthetician
Why you remember her:

Alexa is the one who allowed ABC to film her waxing some unlucky woman’s undercarriage during her super fun hometown “get to know me” video package. I have all sorts of thoughts on this, but the primary unfortunate detail was the angle which was chosen to properly convey the service being provided in case we couldn’t figure it out ourselves. OH THE HORROR. Alexa also confirms that she is your girl if your knuckles suffer from excess hairiness. Although her footage was disturbing, I can’t help but think her skills will come in handy sooner or later. Let’s hope Alexa sticks around until the week two pool party, right?

Avonlea — ELIMINATED
27
Fort Worth, TX
Cattle Rancher

Why you remember her:
Avonlea wore a tight white dress and then drifted off into oblivion like a fluffy cloud on a warm spring day. 

Courtney — ROSE
26
Venice, FL
Cosmetologist
Why you remember her:

Courtney tells Peter straight up that she is going for the mile high club. Classy. Her boob size may rival Alayah’s, but her eyes are a different body part all together. Peter comments that they are “insane.” Is he complimenting her? Or is this his way of warning the viewing audience that Courtney has crazy eyes? Time will tell.

Deandra — ROSE
23
Plano, TX
Home Care Coordinator
Why you remember her:

Deandra is the contestant who takes “too on the nose” to a different level by attaching huge windmill blades to her back. She casually asks Peter if he is “ready for round five” before turning sideways to get through the mansion door and silently cursing the producer who forbid Deandra from taking said windmill blades off her back for the first three hours. She was also the one who was COMPLETELY SURPRISED when Peter called her name to come fetch his long-stemmed flower. 

Eunice — ELIMINATED
23
Chicago
Flight Attendant
Why you remember her:

Eunice flitters in wearing an inadequate JV version of Victoria’s Secret angel wings over her lavender gown. Her pun? “She’s just going to wing it.” Then she tells the camera that she is a flight attendant and that gives her an edge with our favorite pilot. Cue the camera bowling through two more flight attendant intros. Interesting fact: Not one of the three flight attendants made it through. Wing that, Eunice.

Hannah Ann — FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE
23
Knoxville, TN
Model
Why you remember her:

Hannah Ann is the reincarnate of Saved By the Bell’s “it” girl, Kelly Kopowski. Hannah Anna is a model, plain and simple. She’s used to getting what she wants, so there’s no need for gimmicky schticks once she exits the limo. Hannah has done her homework and knows that the fastest way into Peter’s heart is through his mother, father, and little brother Jack. She drones on and on how her parents’ solid, healthy marriage is the greatest gift she’s ever been given. And Peter LOVES IT. 

For some reason she painted him a picture. I guess watercolor is her pageant talent. The scene is of the smokey mou-ains. The letters “N” and “T” have been discarded. When you’re that pretty, no one questions it. They just embrace you in a deep, passionate kiss in front of a slew of other women and reward you with a first impression rose. 

Let it be known that Hannah Anna stole Peter away not one, but TWO times. Some were angry. Others were confused. I’m looking at you, Shiann.

Jade — ELIMINATED
26
Mesa, Arizona
Flight Attendant
Why you remember her:

You don’t.

Jasmine — ROSE
25
Houston, TX
Client Relations Manager
Why you remember her:

Jasmine wore a sparkly black number and spoke to Peter in an exotic language. Something about a windmill. 

Jenna — ELIMINATED
22
New Lenox, IL
Nursing Student
Why you remember her:

You probably remember Ashley the emotional support cow more than you remember Jenna. 

Katrina — ELIMINATED
28
Chicago
Pro Sports Dancer
Why you remember her:

The first in a blitz of crude icebreakers, Katrina had me not only behind the couch cushion, but yearning to be under the actual couch. Let me paint a picture for you:

Katrina walks up in a beautiful red dress. A peculiar smile spreads across her face. 

Kat: “You’re going to fall in love with my hairless…”
Peter: [swallows hard]
Lincee: “Nooooooooooooo.”

Kat: “Pu$$y…”
Peter: [turns all sorts of red]
Lincee: “Stopitstopitstopitstopit.”

Kat: “Cat!” (reveals a picture of Miss Whiskerson)
Peter: [politely laughing]
Lincee: “So this is what it’s come to. How I long for the days when Ryan simply stepped out of the limo and shook Trista’s hand. The end.”

Kelley — ROSE
27
Chicago
Tax Attorney
Why you remember her:

Kelley is the one who met Peter randomly in California once upon a time. She was there for a wedding. He was there for a reunion. Kelley considered this a major sign from Bachelor Nation that she should go on the show. We’re not told what went on after they met in the lobby, but the incessant giggling makes me wonder if it was more than a handshake. 

Kelsey — ROSE
28
Des Moines, Iowa
Professional Clothier
Why you remember her:

Very blonde. Very tall. Very pretty. Probably a nose job. 

Kiarra — ROSE
23
Roswell, Georgia
Nanny
Why you remember her:

If you can forget the woman who folded herself up into a carryon suitcase, then you need to take better notes or pull back on the drinking game where you take a shot any time someone says “like” or “journey.”

Kylie — ELIMINATED
26
Los Angeles, CA
Entertainment Sales Associate
Why you remember her:

Kylie gives Peter a long string of condoms. He folds them up neatly into his pocket and later shows Kylie the door. 

Lauren — ROSE
26
Glendale, CA
Marketing Executive
Why you remember her:

I’ve got five words for you: Black catsuit made of lace. (With shoulder pads.) 

Lexi — ROSE
26
New York, NY
Marketing Coordinator
Why you remember her:

Red-headed Lexi receives a “damn, that’s sexy” when she exits her vintage red corvette wearing royal blue velvet. She’s a dark horse. 

Madison — FIRST ONE-ON-ONE DATE ROSE
23
Auburn, AL
Foster Parent Recruiter 
Why you remember her:

Madison’s dad is an Auburn basketball coach, therefore, Madison is really good at basketball. She forces the ABC Intern to craft her a huge paper airplane so she can soar into Peter’s heart or some other aerial pun. She appears to be the girl next door stuck in a scarlet evening gown and quickly endears herself to Peter. 

Maurissa — ELIMINATED
23
Atlanta, GA
Patient Care Coordinator
Why you remember her:

Oh Maurissa. We finally learn what patient care coordinator means. She works for a plastic surgeon. This explains her chest region. It must have been a buy one get one free sale at the office. Maurissa makes Peter pinky promise that they will fly as high as the wind takes them. Peter must have had his other fingers crossed because the only place Maurissa is flying is the Atlanta airport. Kudos to losing 80 pounds though!

Megan — ELIMINATED
26
San Francisco, CA
Flight Attendant
Why you remember her:
I have no idea who this is.

Mykenna — ROSE
22
Langely, BC, Canada
Fashion Blogger
Why you remember her:

Okay, Mykenna here was somewhat normal before she chose to dip her toe in a pool of crazy. She insists on throwing paper airplanes at Peter’s head when he’s talking to Natasha. He politely asks Mykenna to wait five minutes. The producers hand her another fleet of paper airplanes and encourage her to chuck them at Peter’s head a second time. By the way she dramatically reacted to every tiny thing that happened at the cocktail party, my guess is that she’s never seen the show. I will have fun watching her slowly break down all season. 

Natasha — ROSE
31
New York, NY
Event Planner
Why you remember her:

Natasha likes to look at you with her chin down on her chest. Is her head heavy? Her neck too weak? We know this does not affect her vocal chords because she asks the ABC Intern to steal Madison’s giant paper airplane so she can swoop in on Mykenna’s time with Peter. She yells for her new arch nemesis to FLY AWAY.

Peter ignores Natasha. Thinking that she has left, he leans in to give Mykenna a kiss that means business. It goes on for so long that Natasha is forced to call out, “TICK, TOCK.” It’s her dusty biological clock. Peter smiles at Mykenna and whispers, “Get used to it.”

Payton — ROSE
23
Wellesley, MA
Business Development Rep
Why you remember her:

Payton is the dirty blonde in a red dress. I understand this describes five other girls, so I’ll give you a little more. She looks hung over and kept shouting, “FOUR TIMES? FOUR TIMES?” We barely saw her because she was too busy partying. 

Sarah — ROSE
24
Knoxville, TN
Medical Radiographer
Why you remember her:

We didn’t see much of Sarah. She was probably holding Payton’s hair back while she puked. Mark my words, this girl will go far. 

Savanah — ROSE
27
Houston, TX
Realtor
Why you remember her:

Weirdo Savannah blind folds Pete and commands him to “focus on the way things feel.” She then presses her boobs into his chest before stealing a kiss. He wasn’t ready, naturally, because he can’t see the ridiculousness unfolding before him. Savannah said she wanted to come out guns blazing. Pew pew. 

Shiann — ROSE
27
Las Vegas, NV
Administrative Assistant 
Why you remember her:

Shiann gives Peter a barf bag because she predicts he is going to have a ton of nauseating conversations tonight. Guess what, Shiann. You were one of them! 

Shiann gets her rhinestones in a twist when Hannah Ann steals Peter away from her. FOR A SECOND TIME. The nerve. The producers offer Shiann a few Benjamins and a free massage at the hotel spa if she confronts Hannah Ann. So she does. 

Shiann: “You had your time with Peter. Twice. I want to be able to have my time with his as well.”
Hannah Ann: “I want that for you, too.” 

Hannah Ann effortlessly paints on her best pageant face.
Time stands still for an eternity.
I eat my weight in caramel corn that comes in a can

Shiann: “I don’t know if you are BLEEPING me or being honest.” 
Hannah Ann: “Well you’ve been very polite and considerate and honest and transparent and I appreciate it. Go and make a run for it girl.”

Hannah makes Shiann kiss her ring before she is officially dismissed. 

Sydney — ROSE
24
Birmingham, AL
Retail Marketing Manager
Why you remember her:

Sydney wore a pretty silver dress with beaded fringe. She’s also the one who made the ABC Intern drag out the portion of the local putt-putt course with the windmill. Fortunately, all the windmill and arial jokes were used, so she said something dirty about getting into her hole. Barf. 

Tammy — ROSE
24
Syracuse, NY
House Flipper
Why you remember her:

Tammy is a force. She wrestles. Flips houses. I think she might be a realtor. She’s happy that Peter is a pilot because she is a jet setter. GOOD ONE, TAMMY. Once inside, she handcuffs our poor bachelor and gives him a pat down. She finds a condom in his pocket (thank you Kylie) and kisses him while his hands are literally tied behind his back. The last thing we hear is Peter assertively requesting Tammy to uncuff him.

Victoria F. — ROSE
25
Virginia Beach, VA
Medical Sales Rep
Why you remember her:

Victoria F: “You need to know I have a dry sense of humor. But that’s the only thing that’s dry.”

Bless. All the blessings. Bless all over this. Bless until the end of time. I can’t. I don’t want to. Just, bless. BLESS BLESS BLESS. Jesus take the wheel. Glory be and please bless it. 

Why? Why in the name of Our Host Chris Harrison would anyone agree to say this? Furthermore, why in the name of Our Hot Host would she repeat it when she had her alone time? 

Victoria: “I was super nervous about saying my one-liner.” 
Peter [looks confused]: “What was it again?”
Lincee: “Mayday Mayday. Do not say it again!” 

Victoria says the crude line, again, and Peter pretends to think it’s funny. Victoria understands that she’s crossed some sort of line and ends up crying in the hallway. Her reasons are threefold: 

  1. Peter thinks she’s a dirty skank.
  2. She’s not the only Victoria in the harem.
  3. It’s four o’clock in the morning and she has eaten nothing but three saltines and seven martinis. 

Victoria P. — ROSE
27
Alexandria, LA
Nurse
Why you remember her:

Victoria’s mom is presumably off the crack and back home with her two girls. Huzzah! She does a “happy dance” with Peter that sends me sideways behind a cushion. During her one-on-one time, she tells our bachelor that IF she receives a rose tonight, it will be the first flowers she’s ever received from a boy. Period. Put a pin in that little tidbit. 

Hannah Brown — ???
25
20 Miles From Peter
ABC Darling
Why you remember her: 

That’s right, dear reader, Hannah is back. And boy is she mad at her stylist who didn’t give her the heads up that eight other girls were wearing red. Unacceptable. For now, Hannah wants to give Peter his pilot wings back. You know, the same wings he gave her when he stepped out of the limo so many moons ago. She wishes him well in his journey to find his co-pilot. Then she hugs him as tears spring to his eyes. But wait, there’s more to come…

FIRST GROUP DATE
Hannah Ann, Kelley, Deandra, Tammy, Courtney, Shiann, Jasmine, and both Victorias

Wiggle into your activewear, ladies, because Peter is washing his airplane shirtless and has requested an audience! As the squealing and cat calling come to a close, Peter introduces the women to two female pilots who break some frightening news to the ladies. 

They’re going to flight school. That means we have to do math. And math is hard. 

The women puzzle through how to answer tricky questions like, “how many feet are in a mile” and “what is the definition of thrust?” Stoic Lady #1 barks at the ridiculous answers scribbled hastily down on white boards. Stoic Lady #2 shakes her head when the yellow haired Victoria P. doesn’t even bother to guess an answer. 

Clearly this is going nowhere, so the Stoics make each woman twirl around on a gyroscope. Whoopsie. Vicky P. is prone to motion sickness. Will she throw up and spew on everyone as she whips through the air? The producers put a Go-Pro helmet on her head just in case.

Fortunately, Vick waits until AFTER she has exited the vehicle to properly lose her lunch. She races to the bathroom and claims, “This is me!” when Peter hands her a bottle of water. Once Victoria stops seeing double, Peter makes all the women suit up in fly boy coveralls. 

First, they have to walk side-by-side in slow motion at dusk as a shanty version of the Top Gun theme song accompanies them in the background. Second, they must compete in a plane-themed obstacle course.

Oh what fun! 

The Stoics explain the scenario before them: Contestants must spin around in a chair, remove a life vest from under a seat, blow it up, and run through a legitimate wind tunnel. After picking themselves up from falling every few feet, the women have to find their name in a big pile of luggage, toss it in a box, and run to a lavatory where smoking is not permitted. Then they will change out of their suit, into a pilot’s shirt, and tricycle their way throw a winding path that leads to Peter. 

The winner receives a sunset flight, courtesy of Captain Peter himself, which was most likely filmed right before the slo-mo tarmac walk. 

Shortly before the obstacle course competition, Hannah Ann smiles directly into the camera and tells the world that she is going to be Peter’s Maverick.

Hey Han Ann. It’s me, Lincee. Big thumbs up for trying to be eighties relevant, but in this scenario, Peter would be Maverick. You would have to be his Goose. Unless you wanted to be Ice Man. I’m not sure who told you to say that, but I’d be willing to bet they were born after 1990. Always check your facts with someone who hasn’t had a cell phone their entire life. 

Where was I? Oh right. The obstacle course. Everyone fails miserably, excluding Kelley, Shiann, and Tammy. Shiann takes so long buttoning her stupid pilot shirt that she misses the tricycle part completely. That’s when Kelley decided to beeline for Peter “as the crow flies” instead of pedaling in and out as the course dictates. 

Tammy shouts, “SHE’S CHEATING” with every turn, but Peter has already lifted Kelley up into his cockpit so they can celebrate on the wings of love. 

Pete and Kelley fly and giggle over Los Angeles. When Kelley returns to the hotel, Tammy claims that SHE CHEATED. Kelley’s defense? “I didn’t know the rules were so strict.” 

Lawyered. 

At the cocktail party that night, Peter tells Kelley that he’s not naive. He knows Kelley has a target on her back for multiple reasons. She should let it ride. (Let it fly?) Kelley giggles and reminds Peter that they are in the exact hotel where they first met. Coincidence? I think not. 

Peter later finds Victoria P. who is already ready for bed. She has her blue silk nightie on, as well as her glasses. Just as Vicky P. initiates a thank you for helping her through her vomit phase earlier in the day, Pete jumps up and runs out of the room.

Anyone with a brain would assume he is running to get the date rose, right? Nope. He’s pilfering flowers from the lattice work out back so he can give Vick a bundle of peonies. Everyone thinks is sooooo sweet, except for the handler who has to go explain this rogue behavior to the hotel manager. Vicky thanks Peter, makes out with him a little bit, pops in her retainer, and heads to Room 238 for some beauty sleep.

Kelley gets the rose. Eyes roll. Heads shake. Daggers protrude from eyeballs. It seems that target on her back just got a little bigger. 

ONE-ON-ONE
Madison

Dressed in the tightest Pepto-Bismol pink spandex pant suit, Madison is hella surprised when Peter rolls up to his parents house. Do we find this odd? Of course not! Peter needs a date for his parents’ wedding renewal ceremony. Duh. 

Everyone is there. Aunts from Cuba. Uncles from Nevada. Cousins from across town. A strange girl who gets a front row seat. Let the renewing begin! 

Peter officiates the happy couple and all three cry when they talk about how much they love each other. Madison sticks her tongue out over her teeth and gives a thumbs-up. She gets to be a part of the cake-smashing-in-the-face festivities, catches the bouquet, and even gives a toast. 

Both instances can easily be edited from the video footage. We can’t have another Hannah Brown on our hands. 

At dinner, Madison and Peter have a competition to see who can use the word “like” the most in one conversation about how family is important. Madison wins. Peter gives her the date rose because he can see her heart and wants to guard and protect it. But not by getting a tattoo. 

The night is not over. It’s time for the super secret musical guest! When Hannah enters the room, Tenille Arts starts to serenade the happy couple. For those of you keeping score at home, this is Tenille’s second appearance on the show in back-to-back seasons. I wonder what she has on Mike Fleiss?

During the second verse, Peter’s entire family floods into the room. Ah, yes. We need an after party, don’t we? Let’s give it up for Peter Senior and his beautiful bride! Not many people can score a second wedding and cool reception on national television. Way to work that contract!

SECOND GROUP DATE
Lauren, Sydney, Payton, Natasha, Alexa, Kelsey, Mykenna, Alayah, Savannah

Peter lets the girls in on a little secret. He has no idea what they are doing! He let a friend pick the date activity!

The girls squeal with delight, eager to meet one of Peter’s bros. They adjust their cleavage, run fingers through their hair, and pick the wedgies from their butts. The smiles slowly fade when the spotlight hits Hannah B. standing next to a windmill. 

Hannah mumbles something about the importance of storytelling and then proceeds to share in great detail everything that went on inside of the infamous windmill with Peter. No one knew how to respond, including me. Is this really happening? How tacky can she be? Does Peter think this is rude behavior? 

Hannah has a reason for telling such a scandalous tale. She just gave an example of what the girls have to do on this group date. Public humiliation. Each must recite a personal sex story in front of a live studio audience. Doesn’t that sound like fun? She gives them all a pad of paper and a pen shaped like a penis from the bachelorette party she never had. Happy writing!

In the next scene we find Hannah behind the stage wallowing in her own smeared mascara. Peter asks if she’s okay. 

She’s not okay, y’all. Can’t you see that? The pain is unbearable. 

Peter takes a beat to buy a clue. Is Hannah suffering from food poisoning? Did she have a spin in the gyroscope? Did someone tell her about the hairless cat icebreaker?

Nope. Hannah is crying because Peter is currently on the hunt for a new Hannah. Peter puts it all out on the table and confesses that he wished she had stayed instead of just giving him his wings back. Hannah whirls around and declares HE MEANS THE WORLD TO HER. 

Peter admits he cried like a baby after he dumped her, but he’s proud Hannah followed her heart. He was respectful enough not to finish that sentence with, “Even though it led you to dead beat Jed and his dumb old guitar.”

Hanna looks at him through caked on L’Oreal and we all wonder what she’s going to say and why she didn’t wear waterproof mascara. Did she learn nothing from her season?

Hannah: “My heart is confused. I don’t know what I was doing. I really BLEEPED up.”

Whhhaaaaaaattttt???

Peter takes it all in stride and calmly asks Hannah why she didn’t reach out after the show? She asked Tyler out. Why didn’t she ask him out? Basic math (for some people) would dictate that Hannah is not interested in him. 

Hannah says a lot while saying absolutely nothing. Then Peter asks if she would like to be apart of the house? Hannah’s answer? Maybe.

Hannah: “There’s so much to consider. I’m an influencer now. I have to have my phone so I can continue receiving my FabFitFun boxes. Life is so hard!”

In other interesting news, Hannah regrets sending Peter home. Every. Single. Day. Peter brings up the infamous date with Tyler again and she fights back with “you didn’t call me” and “I thought you wanted to be The Bachelor.” 

Hannah’s Bottom Line: She’s confused because she has all the feels for Peter.

Peter’s Bottom Line: He feels guilty because there are nine girls currently writing down their naughty sex stories in the other room and another gaggle in a mansion in Beverly Hills who dropped everything to woo him. 

But the line that says it all is this:

“When I look at her I don’t want to stop looking.”

Will Hannah Brown stay? Does she shake up the house dynamic? Will ABC give her her own suite, complete with Internet, phone privileges, and a red line access to Our Host Chris Harrison? 

We’ll find out next week!

And congratulations to Ava who was the only participant with a PERFECT SCORE on her bracket! (EMAIL ME AVA!!!) Feel free to join us this week for another round. Click HERE for details. 

Photo By: abc.com
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Jaime
Jaime
January 7, 2020 5:21 pm

Anyone else suspect that Kelley is a crazy stalker and “found” him in California on purpose? He does seem to like her, though. And Hannah needs to move on! (and also get water proof mascara). We thought Hannah Ann looked a ton like a young Katie Holmes!

White
White
January 7, 2020 6:02 pm
Reply to  Jaime

I said Katie
Holmes too!

Maggie
Maggie
January 7, 2020 5:38 pm

My question … is TEACUP trauma > BUMPER CAR trauma?! Poor Vicky P. can’t catch a break! 😉

Jenna
Jenna
January 7, 2020 7:28 pm
Reply to  Maggie

Hahahaha!!!! Yes!!! That was my first thought, too!!

Jaime
Jaime
January 8, 2020 10:44 am
Reply to  Maggie

I said the exact same thing too! ha ha

Tanya T.
Tanya T.
January 7, 2020 5:55 pm

What in the actual world!? That’s all.

Lisa
Lisa
January 7, 2020 6:21 pm

Mrs. Whiskerson! Wine just came out my nose!

Linda
Linda
January 7, 2020 6:25 pm

I can’t wait for you to nickname this group. There are potentials!!! I loved the girl who was surprised. What show did she think she was on? Glad you picked up on the mountain pronunciation! Can’t wait for your recaps this season!!!

Emmy Froggygirl
Emmy Froggygirl
January 7, 2020 6:46 pm

I was totally shouting out, “no, you’re Goose, not Maverick, moron!” LOL! Glad you caught that 😉

RuthAnn
RuthAnn
January 7, 2020 7:07 pm

Great recap, Lincee!

So glad you referenced all the “likes.” I actually counted (bc I just had to!) all the ones Madison said during their one-on-one date: 31 times! Ugh.

Not sure what’s going to wear me out first: all the references to the windmill or all those %$!!@#LIKES%$!!@# (cuz she ain’t the only one! All the girls are saying it :/)

Katy
Katy
January 9, 2020 1:09 pm
Reply to  RuthAnn

Drives me absolutely CRAZY all the “likes”…

Donna
Donna
January 7, 2020 7:48 pm

Madison looks like Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt to me. Anyone else?

corrinesnanny
corrinesnanny
January 7, 2020 9:30 pm
Reply to  Donna

For sure.

Shannon
January 8, 2020 3:01 pm
Reply to  Donna

I was thinking the same thing Donna!

Karin
Karin
January 8, 2020 6:28 pm
Reply to  Donna

That’s funny bc I thought Maria Shriver! Who of course is her mother.

Kelly
Kelly
January 7, 2020 8:02 pm

The tick tock line about Natasha was hilarious great recap as always Lincee!!

GammaGirl1111
GammaGirl1111
January 7, 2020 8:31 pm

Poor Hannah Brown. Is she trying to get back the last few dates from her season that she squandered on Luke P? First she went out with Tyler, and now she’s trying to get a last couple dates with Peter. Girl. Your season is over. You lost. Move on.

Man. If Luke would just have left the first time she tried to send him, and she hadn’t wasted weeks on him instead of getting to know the other guys, we’d be free of her.

Jodie
Jodie
January 7, 2020 8:55 pm

Ok, did Victoria P. Puke a second time all over the slide and wind tunnel tarp on the obstacle course and they didn’t have the heart to acknowledge it on national TV? What for the love of Pete was that gross yellow goo everyone was sliding all over? How has there not been a tweet or mention in any recap blog or podcast trying to get an explanation for that???

KarenD
KarenD
January 8, 2020 8:27 am
Reply to  Jodie

Thank you! I thought I’d missed something. What was that!???!!?

Libby
Libby
January 8, 2020 10:06 am
Reply to  Jodie

I was under the impression it was supposed to be airplane oil stuff of some sort.

Dee
Dee
January 15, 2020 7:30 pm
Reply to  Jodie

Yeah, whatever that was on that wind tunnel tarp was beyond nasty!

corrinesnanny
corrinesnanny
January 7, 2020 9:33 pm

Hannah’s address as 20 miles from Peter …. I’m dying ! Move along Hannah, you missed your chance.

Laura
Laura
January 7, 2020 10:17 pm

I could not be happier that you caught the guard and protect her heart line. Classic!

Darcee
Darcee
January 7, 2020 11:13 pm

So glad you’re back. As well as this crazy train wreck of a show. I think Hannah Ann also looks like Sophia Bush from One Tree Hill. I usually have the final girl nailed down pretty good but Madison and Hannah are two front runners for me but they seem too young fit him. So I guess I’m predicting Hannah gets in his head. She doesn’t stay cause she was too busy on DWTS. But she tells him if this doesn’t work out come find her and they live happily ever after in a windmill. (I just puked in my mouth cause I made a windmill reference. I’ve got to be better then that.)

Jill
Jill
January 7, 2020 11:58 pm

The mascara was a prop so she could “Cry Pretty”. I’m not buying it. She is the ultimate drama queen and needs to be on a soap opera.

AnnieLu
AnnieLu
January 9, 2020 5:54 pm
Reply to  Jill

Word. She wore non-waterproof mascara on purpose. The ABC intern probably had to buy her some specially. The producers are manufacturing this whole Peter/Hannah suspense for ratings, to make it more dramatic. I suspect nothing will come of it. Hannah will do anything to stay in the public eye.

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