Bachelor Recap: Episode 5

The recap will be up as soon as…

Hey…stop crying.
I’m here.
Look at me.
Listen to me.
Stop crying.
I don’t like it when you don’t look at me.
LOOK AT ME.
Stop crying.
It’s okay.
I’m right here.
Look at me.
The recap will be up as soon as I pick some more vegetables from the garden.
Trust me.

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40 Comments on "Bachelor Recap: Episode 5"

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Jenna
Jenna

JP: Pedia– Pedia–Pedia–
Nurse: Pediatrics!

Sorry, but that was just TOO CUTE!!

Barbie
Barbie

He’s a DOUCHE BAG !!!!

jess

this was pretty much the best recap of a recap ever. wtf was the “i don’t like it when you don’t look at me?” little sleeping with the enemy-ish, no?

can’t wait for the rest …

barb
barb

Look at me! Look at me! A little creepy, especially while forcing the victim, sorry, girl, to look at him. What the heck?

#JustSayin
#JustSayin

We musn’t forge the Panda in a room of bears and the new baby giraffe references either.
WTH?
#whathappendunderthewater was a good west coast hash last night.

Looking forward to the recap.

Girlseekingmindlessentertainment
Girlseekingmindlessentertainment

Playing him like a fiddle!

And about that garden and the brunette saying we should get that in America!!!!! What? She never heard about community gardens or Farm to Table meals?!

noodlestein
noodlestein

Hola, girl, let me slut-shame you and claim that I didn’t say ‘no’ so that I wouldn’t hurt your feelings, but then not understand why you’re not looking at me while I tell you that my (4 YO) daughter will be seeing this episode.

This guy is an ASS.

Paul
Paul

First thought. Korea…Vietnam. What is this, the U.S. war tour? What’s next? Grenada? Afghanistan?

Second thought. “Senior Perfecto” finally was exposed as being something less than perfect. He was totally playing mind games with Clare to see how she would react. Embarrassing. Let me get this straight. A beautiful girl comes to your room for a late-night swim and make-out session (uhh, just how far did that go anyway?), and you have the nerve to lecture her that her bahavior was inappropriate because your daughter might see it? Can you say hypocrite? And instead of caling him out right then and there, Clare shows no back-bone and collapses in a pool of tears. I’d like to see him try that with Andi or some of the tougher girls. Maybe that was his goal, find out who would stand up to him when he’s being a jerk. Clare failed, but if it means she won’t end up with JP, she really won. Aye-yih-yih.

Shannon
Shannon

I can’t wait for this one…SO much material to work with here!!!

jL
jL

His inconsistency drives me mad. “No Renee and Piano Girl, I will not kiss you b/c what will my daughter think? What will Ben think?” but let’s go “swim in the warm water” with Clare and make out with Sharleen the Panda. GROSS.

wesley's
wesley's

Lincee, you are one in a cabillion. That was great.

JennyP
JennyP

I SO agree with you noodlestein. What a douchebag move. I was wishing that Clare would just shove that rose down his throat and walk.

nancy
nancy

This is already one of your best posts ever! Hilarious.
If I don’t stop refreshing my screen, waiting for the rest of your fabulous take on this insanity, I might break my laptop : )

noodlestein
noodlestein

Me, too, JennyP! I kept hoping that she was going to give the rose back! However, I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t. A lot of these women who choose to go on this show are not whole, healthy people. I felt really bad for her.

Ann
Ann

The thing between Clare and Jerk Pablo drove me crazy last night. As one of the way older readers, I follow these shows with younger friends and long-distance with my daughter.

Lincee, you can ask your mom and/or grandmother if they agree with my take on this.

I’m from a small town. Back in my growing up days, there was always that one girl in every grade level who got the “bad reputation” for being slutty, or too “fast”, or whatever. Funny how I now realize that these supposed bad girls didn’t exist in a vacuum. Why was it that all of the boys who enjoyed the company of the slutty girl never got tagged with ANY kind of bad boy label? The belief always seemed to be that the slutty girl just lured these nice boys into bad behavior – or something like that.

So, last night, it was like being swept back in time to 1960’s small-town Texas and Clare was the slutty girl, luring the nice boy into doing something he’d regret.

Good grief. I don’t even like Clare and found myself wanting to stick up for her. That guilt trip he laid on her about his daughter seeing that was absolutely ludicrous, not to mention cruel. Was he drugged? Could he have refused to go? Does he not know that cameras are there to record every second? Has he ever seen this show?

And then I kept thinking about the woman he ultimately chooses and how she must feel watching these episodes. (Because you know it won’t be Clare because the slutty girl never gets to be the one taken out in public, much less proposed to.)

This show has always been just a fun, escapist thing to do – a get-away from my usually serious job, and something fun to share with my younger friends. That thing last night was not fun, nor was it entertaining. It showed that the old double standard is still alive and well!

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