Bachelor Recap: Episode 5

The recap will be up as soon as…

Hey…stop crying.
I’m here.
Look at me.
Listen to me.
Stop crying.
I don’t like it when you don’t look at me.
LOOK AT ME.
Stop crying.
It’s okay.
I’m right here.
Look at me.
The recap will be up as soon as I pick some more vegetables from the garden.
Trust me.

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Jenna
Jenna
February 4, 2014 8:56 am

JP: Pedia– Pedia–Pedia–
Nurse: Pediatrics!

Sorry, but that was just TOO CUTE!!

Barbie
Barbie
February 4, 2014 9:06 am

He’s a DOUCHE BAG !!!!

jess
February 4, 2014 9:07 am

this was pretty much the best recap of a recap ever. wtf was the “i don’t like it when you don’t look at me?” little sleeping with the enemy-ish, no?

can’t wait for the rest …

barb
barb
February 4, 2014 10:18 am

Look at me! Look at me! A little creepy, especially while forcing the victim, sorry, girl, to look at him. What the heck?

#JustSayin
#JustSayin
February 4, 2014 10:22 am

We musn’t forge the Panda in a room of bears and the new baby giraffe references either.
WTH?
#whathappendunderthewater was a good west coast hash last night.

Looking forward to the recap.

Girlseekingmindlessentertainment
Girlseekingmindlessentertainment
February 4, 2014 10:24 am

Playing him like a fiddle!

And about that garden and the brunette saying we should get that in America!!!!! What? She never heard about community gardens or Farm to Table meals?!

noodlestein
noodlestein
February 4, 2014 10:24 am

Hola, girl, let me slut-shame you and claim that I didn’t say ‘no’ so that I wouldn’t hurt your feelings, but then not understand why you’re not looking at me while I tell you that my (4 YO) daughter will be seeing this episode.

This guy is an ASS.

Paul
Paul
February 4, 2014 10:39 am

First thought. Korea…Vietnam. What is this, the U.S. war tour? What’s next? Grenada? Afghanistan? Second thought. “Senior Perfecto” finally was exposed as being something less than perfect. He was totally playing mind games with Clare to see how she would react. Embarrassing. Let me get this straight. A beautiful girl comes to your room for a late-night swim and make-out session (uhh, just how far did that go anyway?), and you have the nerve to lecture her that her bahavior was inappropriate because your daughter might see it? Can you say hypocrite? And instead of caling him out right then… Read more »

Shannon
Shannon
February 4, 2014 11:02 am

I can’t wait for this one…SO much material to work with here!!!

jL
jL
February 4, 2014 11:11 am

His inconsistency drives me mad. “No Renee and Piano Girl, I will not kiss you b/c what will my daughter think? What will Ben think?” but let’s go “swim in the warm water” with Clare and make out with Sharleen the Panda. GROSS.

wesley's
wesley's
February 4, 2014 11:11 am

Lincee, you are one in a cabillion. That was great.

JennyP
JennyP
February 4, 2014 11:14 am

I SO agree with you noodlestein. What a douchebag move. I was wishing that Clare would just shove that rose down his throat and walk.

nancy
nancy
February 4, 2014 11:21 am

This is already one of your best posts ever! Hilarious.
If I don’t stop refreshing my screen, waiting for the rest of your fabulous take on this insanity, I might break my laptop : )

noodlestein
noodlestein
February 4, 2014 11:22 am

Me, too, JennyP! I kept hoping that she was going to give the rose back! However, I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t. A lot of these women who choose to go on this show are not whole, healthy people. I felt really bad for her.

Ann
Ann
February 4, 2014 11:34 am

The thing between Clare and Jerk Pablo drove me crazy last night. As one of the way older readers, I follow these shows with younger friends and long-distance with my daughter. Lincee, you can ask your mom and/or grandmother if they agree with my take on this. I’m from a small town. Back in my growing up days, there was always that one girl in every grade level who got the “bad reputation” for being slutty, or too “fast”, or whatever. Funny how I now realize that these supposed bad girls didn’t exist in a vacuum. Why was it that… Read more »

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