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Bachelor Sean, Episode 6: Ice Ice Baby

Wednesday, February 6, 2013 @ 10:02 AM
Author: Lincee

I feel like it was just yesterday that I was complaining about how ABC no longer shows gratuitous shirtless scenes of Sean working out and now they have him covered in awful sweaters — that must be the losing end of a bet. You’d think if the wardrobe department was going full-on Canadian stereotype, they’d make him wear a Maple Leaf jersey or a Robin Sparkles graffiti coat instead of that monstrosity. I guess that’s what real mountain men who love the outdoors as much as Sean does wear. Who cares that it’s zero degrees outside. Bear Grylls has nothing on Sean. This is Bachelor vs. Wild and these ladies will stop at nothing to conquer nature.

SIMPLE DISCLAIMER

The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. However, if you or someone you linked on Twitter happen to personally know, sort of know, is friends with the nail stylist or bowing instructor of someone who is obsessed with the fictional life of Matthew Crawley like me and looks exactly like one of the contestants on the show…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.

We begin our Canadian journey to find love with Harrison in a pique coat. Nice. He explains that there will be two one-on-one dates, a group date and all will take place in Banff National Park. The ladies scramble into their suite, squeal about their view and settle in to hear Lindsay read Catherine’s name on the first date card.

Team Bachelor makes her stand out in the middle of nowhere and just as the blizzard conditions begin to contribute to muscle mis-coordination, Sean arrives in a massive snow bus. A snow bus that he was driving. Call me crazy, but I found this extremely attractive. So did Cathy. She didn’t care that he made her put on a red onesie so they could go play on a glacier during whiteout conditions. It made no difference that small beads of jagged ice kept pelting her raw face. She would stop at nothing to make snow angels and do front flips on the rock hard earth. Succumbing to wind burn is for quitters!

Catherine passes the blizzard test and is rewarded with dinner in a literal ice castle. I hoped that Robby Benson would make an appearance and help Lexie skate around the budding love birds as they snuggled under thermal blankets. No such luck. Catherine shares a sad story about how she witnessed a young girl tragically die at summer camp when she was 12-years-old. She tells Sean that she now lives life to the fullest because you never know when it can be taken from you. Touched, Sean begins to heat things up in the ice house. Catherine may never feel her fingers again, but she just might find love. Sean chisels the rose out of a block of ice and asks her to accept. Through chattering teeth, she does.

GROUP DATE
Tierra
Sarah
AshLee
Lindsay
Selma
Lesley
Daniella

Let me just say that the person who decided to put Selma back in a canoe has a wicked sense of humor. Fortunately, she’s dependent on two other people and her craft thankfully makes the journey across Lake Louise. The added man power gives her the freedom to toss shallow threats in the general direction of Sean and Lesley’s boat.

Selma: “I want a big shark to come out and eat her boat. I want to tip it over. Has anyone seen my Little Edie head band?”

The girls make it across the lake without any marine life confrontations. All feel they deserve a round of hot chocolate, roasted s’mores and alone time snuggling under bear skin rugs with the bachelor. Instead of being pampered, Sean encourages them to strip down to their string bikinis and jump into the frigid cold lake so they can all be members of the Polar Bear Club. Come on! It will be fun!

Princess Selma refuses to put her life at risk and generously reapplies a coat of Chapstick to her non-kissable lips. Lesley believes hypothermia is totally worth a rose, Lindsay braids her bangs and AshLee tries to organize her emotions to portray anything but sheer terror. Six of the seven go in. One of the six is rushed to the hospital. Any guesses?

That’s right! Tierra’s turning several shades of blue! The situation has turned serious. We know this because ABC is now full-blown Blair Witch filming. Tin foil blankets are ripped from the shaking clutches of the other girls, Wendy the medic is barking orders left and right and Kasey the lifeguard is in shock since he’s just a kid from Banff JuCo who hasn’t technically logged enough saving hours to merit lifeguard status, eh?.

She’s given a wheelchair, a cup of Starbucks, a quick once over with a Chi hair dryer, a burger from the grill and oxygen to be on the safe side. Sean visits her room, convinced that she should just stay put and rest. There’s no need to attend a party when you’re in grave danger of half your toes falling off. But Tierra will not miss out. She will come back from near death and wreak havoc on anyone in her path. She’s a lone wolf in the wild and can’t be tamed. [Cue wolf howl playback.]

Lesley tells Sean that she’s developing feelings for him. Sarah shares pictures of her family that were all oddly printed in black and white. AshLee wonders if she should tell Sean how manipulative Tierra is being. Lindsay’s strategy is an epic game of tonsil hockey. And all believe Tierra is faking her hypothermia to score extra time with Sean and additional room service.

Sean ends up giving the rose to Lesley. He heads back to his room, but soon realizes that he needs to come clean with one of the women. He barges back into the room where all of the girls are sharing scarf tying secrets and asks to speak to Sarah alone. He leads her to a couch, gently tells her that it was easy at the beginning, but now it seems forced and he thinks the best thing for everyone is to send her home before the embarrassment of a rose ceremony rejection. The situation is grave. We know this because they go all Blair Witch again and we hear Sarah’s quiet sobs as Sean tries to console her.

The producers shove her back into the original room where the other contestants are lamenting over the fact that statement necklaces are forever covered by all these layers. Sarah looks forlorn, explains that she’s going home and everyone in the room wonders who died?

Sarah: “No, no. He’s sending me home. He’s not feeling it.”

Could they not get the girl a Kleenex? Must she wipe her snotty nose with a cocktail napkin? These girls cry NON-STOP. Does no one now have a tissue on this entire staff?

Sarah leaves with as much grace and dignity as possible. She has the most natural, raw goodbye of any reject in recent memory. Sean is sad, and the rest of the girls are fully aware that this guy doesn’t play by the rules. They could be sent packing at any moment.

SECOND ONE-ON-ONE
DES

Sean promises Des a picnic, but first, she must prove her love, conquer her fears and convince him that he’s worth repelling down a mountain. Or at least the sushi waiting on the picnic blanket is worth all of that. Des is hungry! She says the phrase, “it’s steep” no less than 57 times. They pause twice for a quickie make-out session and I confuse her for Joey Potter the entire time. She would have totally rocked that canoe date on the creek. I’m just saying. After consuming a few California rolls, Des challenges Sean to a tree climbing contest. He loves it. I was equally impressed. Joey Potter could totally hang if ever reaped to join the Hunger Games.

Later, Sean arrives in the worst sweater in the history of bad sweaters. Harrison must intervene next week with appropriate outerwear from his own line. It’s time Harrison. It’s time.

They head to a teepee for some fire water. Des mentions that she once lived in a tent and this stalls the conversation a bit. Yep. She lived in a tent. And it’s okay. There was love in her family and she wouldn’t change a thing. Sean is smitten. The ABC intern sets up a back light and the crew stands out in the cold to get the money shot of Sean and Joey’s silhouette kissing.

Rose Ceremony
I’m told the skinny tie is coming back. Perhaps it’s because Sean’s neck is so massive that it looked comical on him. Again. Harrison must intervene.

Sean finds some alone time with Selma. She reminds him, again, that she’s not supposed to kiss him. However, she wants him to hold very still while she tries something.

You know she totally janked this move off of Twlight. However, instead of a seductive, heated moment, she pressed her lips to his in the most non-romantic way ever. Sean is frozen because he does not want the wrath of 1,000 Muslim Mamas on his conscious. She pulls back and he thanks her. Kiss of death Selma. Kiss of death. And put your boobs back in your dress.

Lindsay completely kills her seductive “non-kiss” moment. It’s flirty, fun and full of come hither looks and baby talk. By the end, she’s literally begging him to kiss her. We learn that she sleeps naked and he has been known to pee in a desk drawer. These kids could go far ladies and gentlemen.

AshLee provided the most uncomfortable moment of the evening. It makes my throat thick just to type this out. She reminds him that it’s very hard for her to give up control, but she’s willing with him. She hands him a gift. It’s a blindfold. Sean tries to think back, wondering if AshLee was the 50 Shades of Drunk girl, but he’s confident he got rid of her the first night.

She instructs him to blindfold her and then lead her around the rose ceremony room. This is proof that she trusts his leadership. She pretends to trip on her heels, so he picks her up and carries her to a random velvet couch. She begins to cry. I begin to rock back and forth, trying to make it stop. She’s like a weird, emotional version of the dude who wore the Hamburglar mask that season.

Sean takes it all in stride, but I have to say that he looked a little concerned by her diving head first into the pool of emotional commitment after only three dates. AshLee may have blemished her shiny record with this antic. Although I think she’s genuine, I’m quite confident her heart is going to be broken by the time this is over.

It’s rose ceremony time. Everyone watching knows that Daniella is going home. Along with Catherine, Lesley and Des, Lindsay and AshLee receive roses.

Then Harrison walks up to tell us this is the last rose. WAIT. WHAT? There are THREE women left and ONE rose?

My watching party mates Emily and Lara jump up and demand that I pause the TV. I found this both hysterically funny and a little odd that they had the same visceral reaction.

Em: “WHAT?”
Lara: “PAUSE IT!”
Em: “WHAT IS GOING ON?”
Lara: “I NEED A SECOND TO PROCESS!”

I frantically press pause and we all take inventory. Daniella (duh), Tierra and Selma are left standing. Could it be that Tierra is going home? Would Sean actually send the villain home in episode six? Could we be that fortunate?

No. Her boobs are too perky. He’d never do that. It’s Daniella and Selma who are sent packing and crying in their limos. Ten bucks says Selma shows up on The Pad since she’s disgraced her Mom, country and religion. That has Fleiss written all over it.

Sean toasts the remaining six women and shares that things will begin to heat up a bit. Dig out those statement necklaces and bikinis, because the show is going to St. Croix in the US Virgin Islands!

What did y’all think? Was Tierra faking it? Do you enjoy her as the villain or are you over it? Is Lindsay the dark horse? Sound off in the comment section!

All about the fame, not the shame,
Lincee

79 Responses to “Bachelor Sean, Episode 6: Ice Ice Baby”

  1. Julie says:

    The Tierrorist was totally faking it. But she knows how to get one on one time, no doubt! I thought for sure she was gone last night. I was crushed to see Selma leave. I loved her. Her wicked little laugh after wanting a lake shark (?) to eat the canoe cracked me up, as you could hear her realize…oh wait, that would mean Sean gets eaten too….

  2. TX QP says:

    Your comments about Princess Selma in a canoe are priceless, but the Blair Witch filming of Tierra-ble’s hypothermia had me cracking up. Thanks, Lincee!

  3. Kathy says:

    I am so over Tierra the Tierrable. Please, just be rid of her. I am surprised that you didn’t mention the awkward kissing on his date with Des. I was literally hiding behind my couch cushion. The man needs Arie the natural to come back and give him more lessons, it is just too painful to watch. Otherwise, great recap as always!

  4. Laurie says:

    i can’t believe you didn’t notice that the ice he was chipping off the castle for catherine’s drink had dirt in it! and no mention of selma thinking sharks live in lakes? otherwise, stellar recap as always! :) loved the hambuglar reference. i’d almost forgotten about that weirdo.

  5. Debbie S. says:

    Of COURSE she was faking it–NO question! I’m “fusstrated” that he either doesn’t get it, or that the producers have told him to keep her around for a bit longer for the drama. No surprises that Danielle and Selma were sent home. Danielle looked like a hot mess at the party, and I don’t even know how Selma lasted as long as she did. The way he sent Sarah home was disappointing–even though there clearly was no chemistry between them, either. But, the thing that bothers me the most about Sean is the way he kisses–he always leads with his tongue, which is a real turn-off. Does anyone else find that not at all sexy?

  6. Lynn says:

    I need to remember to NOT read the blog after an ab workout!! Hurts. to. laugh!!

  7. Kelly says:

    Isn’t Catherine a vegan? That means no dairy – and Sean gave her hot chocolate. Did anyone notice she said “I haven’t had hot chocolate since I was like 8″ (or some early age) – and she seemed a little hesitant to drink it. So she drank milk for Seanie!

  8. ShannKay says:

    Great recap! I just knew you were going to mention the flakes of ash that kept appearing/disappearing/re-appearing in Des’ hair during the “… my family lived in a tent … ” conversation in the teepee! Too funny! And, I too am ready to see Tierre hit the dusty trail … laughable! =)

  9. Irishwind says:

    Tiara-rist. Still laughing at that one. Was not on Lindsey’s team till that line. Now liking the girl.

    And in the preview for the rest of the season, they go to Thailand for the finally. And do the final rose in a rice paddy?!?!?!? Does the Bachelor Asia edition bring their people to Nebraska and do the final rose in a corn field?

    And I think sending Sarah home early was cruel. She missed a free day and half at a luxury resort with all the free booze she could drink. Also, has Selma been drinking on screen? Alcohol is a bigger sin in Islam than kissing ..

  10. Anne says:

    My laugh-out-loud moments while reading this were the 50 Shades of Drunk girl and also the Hamburglar reference. Your mind is a thing of beauty, Lincee!

  11. Terri says:

    great recap! very funny. I just knew you were going to write about that HORBIBLE sweater Sean wore to the teepee!
    I agree that Tierra-rist is faking it. “What day is it?” and all she can say is huh? But then…she’s lucid enough to say that she will miss time being with Sean? Things that make you go hmmm…
    One thing I’m perplexed about Selma: she’s a model, and I saw a video on line where last spring she’s on a boat doing a photo shoot for sports shoes. She’s wearing almost nothing–cause why were clothes when you are hawking basketball hightops? The last shoot of the day is her and the other models at the front of the boat wearing triangles on their bottoms and only the hightops strategically placed over their “big guns” (as Selma put it last night). So, Mama is OK with you almost showing your tatas but don’t even think of kissing a guy on national tv?!?!?!?!?!?

  12. votemom says:

    yes – the dirty ice – YUCK!
    and yes, the leading-with-the-tongue is gross.
    i hope it’s just cuz he’s super nervous.
    watching him and lindsay kiss was icky.

  13. MrsG says:

    Oh my. The Tierra-ist line was hu-lar-ee-us! Didn;t Lesley say it? She’s so quick-witted with her dry humor.

    I’m calling it ladies– final 3: Lesley, Lindsay, and Desiree.

    Surely he’ll see through Tierra before that! As for Ashlee, I think she has a chance to steal a top 3 spot for sure– she reminds me a lot of Jason’s Molly. But her fifty-shades-of-grey scarf trick creeped me out. Surely Sean realizes that she totally used him to act out a fantasy. No if only he’d sat her down on a couch in a dark room and ran away.. now that would’ve been entertainment!

  14. Kristin says:

    OMG you are so hysterical. I had tears rolling down my cheek at the Blair Witch references!! I thought the ash flakes that kept disappearing from Dez’s hair was odd. Did they stop filming and then start the conversation again? YES, I think Tiara-ist (favorite word for her yet!) was faking! She did have blue lips, but they didn’t take her to the hospital. If she was truly unresponsive that’s where she would have gone!! I was really pulling for Ash-lee when she talked about being an orphan, but the blindfold thing was a little too desperate. And then, next week she does commit the cardinal sin of tattling…she’s a goner.

  15. MrsG says:

    Oh! And I’m also wondering when he’s going to realize that being able to stick your tongue, in its entirety, into the mouth of a woman does not mean you are should marry her. Lindsay. Puhlease. In a 2 minute kiss-free-conversation you asked him, “So, do you like Canada?” And after him replying, “Why yes, it’s delightful.” She quickly stuck her smile directly to his mouth and said, “Picture me naked. Okay, kissing-boycott over! Kiss me!”

  16. Doreen says:

    I couldn’t stop laughing last night after one of the L girls…Lindsay? called Tierra a Tierra-ist! And please… Selma, you can’t kiss but you can roll the girls out on display at any given moment?
    I thought it was a bit awkward that Sarah was sent home before the rose ceremony. I know it’s been done before but it felt odd for Sarah. Like she was given preferential treatment because of her arm, or lack thereof. Maybe it was just me.
    Love the recaps Lincee!

  17. Laurie says:

    Hmm… I just don’t know if I am feeling that Sean is going to find his wife. Des, Lesley, Catherine and Lindsey are the top four. Tierra is still around for the ratings and Ashlee (although I like her) is a little too desperate and uptight. I’m not feeling a serious connection between Sean and any of them, which is a bummer because I think Sean is a decent person. I know we don’t see all the conversations, but I would like to hear a little more about these girls and their careers…not just that they “want to find love” and that they “know how important family is”. Blah. Blah. Blah.

    Lincee, you are the reason I stay up til all hours to watch the taped shows (this is necessary to escape the scorn of my hubby who can’t stand reality tv)….I can predict what weird situation you will comment on and you NEVER disappoint.

    Keep the laughs coming!

  18. Reno says:

    Laurie, I saw the dirt in the ice too!
    LOL the Hamburglar guy, a Bachelor/Bachelorette highlight for me. Remember when he would come back in later episodes and do random things?
    I know Selma got kicked off, but good for her for saying “no” to the producer’s nonsense.

  19. Lacia C says:

    Great recap. I gotta say I was with Selma on not jumping into the lake with all those other idiots. Not during winter. C’mon. Give your heads a shake.

    I was laughing hysterically during Catherine and Sean’s date – welcome to Canada in winter! ha ha ha I think Sean is smitten with her, he always giggles when he is around her and has that dopey look on his face.

    I totally forgot about 50 Shades of Drunk girl and the Mask guy! Too funny.

  20. Shopgirl says:

    The question is whether or not Sean will see through Tierra and get rid of her soon. Let’s face it, Ben didn’t see through Courtney and Jake didn’t see through Vienna… It is scary how easily some men can be maniupulated!

    Great recap, Lincee!

  21. KimP says:

    My friends and I think a new drinking game should be invented. Every time someone says ‘I feel a real connection, we truly have a connection, just the word connection’…DRINK. Guarantee everyone would be three sheets to the wind by the time we hit the rose ceremony.

  22. Michelle says:

    I love these recaps the highlight after every crazy episode. Has no one noticed how often Sean mentions how special every girl is? I am pretty sure he says the same thing about every girl. Also though Tiarra has manipulated her way to lots of one on one time, they have never had real conversation about either of them, it’s all about how she hates the girls and how hard this is and her trying to explain her way it of her psychotic breaks. And at 24 how is really possible for her to have had long of a serious relationship with someone who dies over three years ago, something does not add up!

  23. SCC says:

    Love the recap! Oh my awesomeness! Tierra-orist coining was too sweet! Whichever L girl that was – way to go! And OF COURSE Tierra was faking – she warmed up WAY too fast and if that were “real” it would have taken hours and slowly. And in the previews, it shows her bawling her eyes out “the girls are being mean!” and him comforting her and she slyly smiling (from his lap) as he tells her he’s “crazy” about her. I think the choice of words is telling – not that he really likes or any other adjective – just CRAZY. And I want to try Kim’s drinking game! Sounds like so much fun and yep, I would be drunk as a skunk shortly after beginning to watch!

  24. Amanda says:

    Love the Hamburgler reference!
    I’m so tired of these adventure dates. I understand that Sean is “outdoorsy”, but it’s ridiculous. He wants a bro, not a wife! They can’t even have dinner indoors somewhere after being on a glacier all day? What’s next? My husband watched with me and said “This is turning into that show where they make them eat a plate of bugs” I can just see next week “If you finish this plate of grubs, you get a rose”.

  25. SherondaH says:

    Normally I don’t post replies to your blog, but this weeks was just great. I literally laughed out loud reading it. And to answer your question…Tierrable Tierra was totally faking it… she’s a master manipulator and poor poor Sean is blinded by the booty. I knew Daniella was going home, but Sarah was a surprise..although it was evident that he wasn’t really feeling her. I’m pulling for Des.. or Catherine. I just like those girls..nice and wholesome! AshLee…DESPERATATION is not attractive…time to go home missy.

  26. Jessie says:

    Couldn’t stop laughing at Tierrable attacking the burger. I think Lesley is in the friend zone. Sarah was dropped hard- I think rose ceremony would have been a nicer way to let her go. But I respect that he was ‘following his heart’. I think Sean is definitely smitten by Catharine. I think she will be in the top 2. AshLee is too emotional too soon! Favorite line- when you make fun of Sean and Lindsay shoving their tongues down each others throats. Gratuitous!

    Daniella didn’t see it coming? Really!?

  27. mrsb says:

    Great recap!
    Did I imagine it or did Sean’s horrible sweater actually GLOW IN THE DARK?

    I think Lindsay is a child – wow.

    Drinking game – whenever someone refers to the group as the other “gorls”. LOL

    And I’m with Selma (oddly). No WAY would I jump into icy water. He’s actually been pretty insensitive to the “gorls” so far. Am I right??

  28. mrsb says:

    And does anyone know why we didn’t see Daniella’s actual exit with Sean? They just showed her walking out.

  29. hollygolightly says:

    That the girl loved Sean’s story of peeing in the desk drawer seemed fake…I mean, she could have at least said something like no dresser, desk, kitchen drawers in our future home, dude.
    Yes, Sarah in the limo was sad. She seems like a sweet girl. The deal with her was her flat affect, tone of voice…nasal, sorta whine…sets my teeth on edge. She reminds me of the actress who plays Delia on ABC sitcom “Suburgatory” or Patrick’s girlfriend Gloria in Rosiland Russell film “Auntie Mame.” She and the other babytalking women could benefit from some speech coaching.

  30. MeanGene says:

    Am I the only one who thinks Tierra has a legitimate case of Munchausen’s syndrome?

  31. MeanGene says:

    She’s running in cycles, every 3 eps. – 1&4 good emotion, 2&5 insecure, 3&6 intentional “victim”…

  32. SarahSC says:

    Thanks for the Ice Castles reference. I was pretty sure you would be on it!!

  33. MeanGene says:

    When I’m talking about those cycles, I’m talking about emotion expressed to Sean, she’s always been an up-herself biotch to the girls. Also, I don’t know if y’all realise this, but when you feel compelled to say you don’t like drama, it means drama follows you and YOU are the common link to said drama…

  34. Jaclyn says:

    You mentioned Robin Sparkles AND Bear Grylls…in the first paragraph?! I knew I loved your blog for a reason. :)

  35. Cindy says:

    Love Ice Castles!!! Too funny Lincee!

  36. Juno says:

    Of course Tierra was faking it. You get hypothermia because you’ve been exposed to frigid conditions over a period of time, not because you’ve spent 15 SECONDS in freezing cold water.

    The other thing I really didn’t understand – they canoe’d all the way from the hotel to the far end of the lake, which is where it looks like they did their Polar Bear thing. How did they get back by the hotel? If she was really suffering from hypothermia, they would have taken her to the hospital and not back to her hotel room. Annoying!!

  37. lefty says:

    I”m w/ Michelle.
    Tierra is only 24. Her boyfriend of 5 years died 3 years ago. Hello….anyone else doing the math?

  38. JoJoBean says:

    I have a theory about the mysterious note passed to Sean for the final rose/proposal. I think Tierra voluntarily takes herself out before that stage, but then wants to come back because she “made a mistake”. It goes along with her hogging the camera/wanting drama and to win.

    Great recap as always, Lincee!

  39. JoJoBean says:

    Just remembered something else. Remember in the first few episodes where they showed season previews and Desiree’s “boyfriend” comes to see her and says he loves her? Could that have anything to do with the rose ceremony note? Although I have been hoping that was a set up and she was joking with him, like he did with her on their fake date to the art gallery.

  40. Betty says:

    Do you think that ABC timed up this episode with the Monday episode of HOIMYM to create a Canadian themed week? Either way, so glad you brought in the Robin Sparkles reference, she is truly my favorite fictional Canadian:)

    Also- the Nick Miller kiss clip from yesterday was wonderful also :)

  41. kt says:

    Not to be too picky, but did anyone else notice the grammatical error on the captions? When Tierrable was on her way from the swim cabana to the car, someone said something about the medics, but the caption said “medic’s”

  42. Reno says:

    If you are going to jump into icy water, they should at least wrap you in a blanket, hand you a cup of coffee, and sit you down by a raging fire.

  43. Liana says:

    I agree with the majority that Tierra was faking her hypothermia, frostbite, or whatever it was. She is good at that, and she knows it will get her lots of attention and time with Sean. If she had been that sick for real, no way would she had been able to get all dolled up and make it to the party. When will she leave? Please go home!

  44. texastea says:

    Last night was Sooo painful to watch! Did anyone else notice the shots of Tierra in her wheelchair with raccoon eyes and then not? Back and forth between runny mascara and then clean face. Especially noticed it when DES was talking to her. Speaking of Des-their conversation in the tent was so awkward. I am sorry but I couldn’t wait for the episode to be over. One of the only bright spots for me was the date with Catherine. They seemed so natural together. Hope she wins! The other highlight was you, Lincee, mentioning Robby Benson in the ice castle. Was totally thinking the same thing!

  45. Lori H says:

    I kept waiting for the Ice Castle music…that would have been the best! Tierra – she’s up for the GAG Award for that act! I like Lindsay and Des the best – I hope he picks one of them…BTW – where’s the guy that shows up sometime to get his girl back? They were showing that early on, but haven’t seen it in any of the coming attractions the last couple of weeks.

  46. Kristin says:

    Tierr-orist definitely milked it. Probably faked it, too. I mean, why didn’t they take her to a hospital? Instead they hook her up with an oxygen machine and like you said–Starbucks and a hamburger? What the WHAT!?

    Hands down best line in this–“the guy who wore the Hamburglar mask…”

  47. Jazz says:

    THANK YOU to all the commenters who are pointing out Sean’s kissing skills (or lack thereof), because I shudder literally EVERY TIME. It makes me so uncomfortable to see, which sucks, because he’s adorbz. These updates are the best!

  48. Laurie says:

    ~ Sean is frozen because he does not want the wrath of 1,000 Muslim Mamas on his conscious. ~ this cracked me up!

    If I were one of these girls, I would be soooo mad at the selection of locations and the extreme sports. I’m all for being outdoorsy and active, but come on…!

    Write on, girlfriend! :)

  49. Bethany says:

    But… what happened to Tierra’s face? I mean, she’s only, what, 24? Why does she look like that?! That’s my burning question.

  50. Sam says:

    My roommate (also a green beans fan!) and I can’t figure out who Tierra reminds us of, but its been bugging us like crazy! Any suggestions?! Some people have said B-Spears but that doesn’t seem to be it…

  51. Girlseekingmindlessentertainment says:

    Sam…… You were wondering who Tierra reminds you of……..how about that Chucky doll…… Lin made that brilliant discovery in one of her comments on Jan. 30th.

  52. Girlseekingmindlessentertainment says:

    Tierra wolfing down that hamburger and then putting the oxygen on cracked me up!
    Tierra is a boring villain but if she wasn’t there, what would fill the hour? Dear God, we don’t want to be subjected to Sean kissing for any more time than we have already endured. Ugh!

  53. phoenix says:

    @Sam Tierrable’s face reminds me of a tan mom version of Ashley Judd. I was just thinking how there are a lot of celebrity look-alikes this season. Lesley = Nicole Ritchie, Des = Katie Holmes, Danielle = Brandi Glanville, Jackie = Malin Ackerman and Selma looks like Ashley Greene.

  54. kt says:

    Why is Tierra the only one they ever show eating food? Maybe even the camera crew hates her and wants to make her look bad!

  55. KateN says:

    Really enjoyed reading this! As far as Tierra goes, do a search for “histrionic personality disorder”. She fits it perfectly!

  56. Karen R says:

    What about Valerie Bertinelli? Sam, do you think Tierra looks a bit like her? Maybe I’m dating myself!!!

  57. now I know says:

    who would think such a silly show would give valuable insight to real life?!
    I searched “histrionic personality disorder” in regards to Tierra (thank you Kate N.)and what I discovered was that my sister fit the description to a “T”. I always wondered why she was so difficult to deal with.

  58. Laurie says:

    @kt- why would eating make someone look bad?

    as for the note sean gets at the frc…. i think his voice over in the previews saying, “why would she do that?” is taken from a totally different time/filming. i think the note is from whoever he is gonna propose to and is so sweet it brings him to tears of joy. of course the producers need to edit it to make it look like drama. just my thoughts on that. :)

  59. jennifer says:

    I wonder if Des’s family still lives in the trailer park. Now, that will make great hometown date entertainment. Every season, hometown dates are at affluent and perfect homes.

  60. Cici says:

    Lincee, you are absolutely hysterical with the recaps and references! The commentary is always a hoot too. And about who Tierra reminds me of (who btw is prob more like 30)– it’s a younger Sarah Palin – both looks and personality –living for the camera and always the victim!

  61. I think Lindsay was too silly and had too much too drink (again), and the kissing fests were kind of stupid at thsi point —if that is part of what he is really factoring into keeping her. He does not seem high drama, I think the producers are making him keep Tierra.
    I think Ashley, Catherine and Des make the best match for him…..
    Yes, his kissing style still needs help
    BUT, he is still adorable, especially in the snow bus scenes….rugged, clever…
    Thanks for the post, as always!!

  62. kt says:

    I just meant that most people don’t look very elegant while they are eating, and I assume that is why they rarely show the guys or girls eating during the parties or the dinner dates.

  63. hollygolightly says:

    @jennifer: how cool would a hometown visit to a tent city or trailer park be!

  64. Girlseekingmindlessentertainment says:

    Thank you Cici……. Yes, Tierra does remind me of a younger Sara Palin! Looks , personality, the way she talks Ha hahaha.

  65. Kim says:

    Lincee….I am SOOOO over Tierra! you know how they say people take on a personality from their own name, well I think that applies here with Tierra.

    I think Catherine, Lindsay and Lesley are my favorites. but I think he has a thing for dark haired women???

  66. Lin says:

    Love it!!! If I have to pick a favorite, I would say it was: “Sean is frozen because he does not want the wrath of 1,000 Muslim Mamas on his conscious.” LMAO!!!

    What is it with these crazy group dates?!! These are not date-like activities…are they? As the show goes on I’m started to feel like I’m watching The Bachelor/Survivor show. And Selma wasn’t up for the challenge…kicked out of the tribe!

    That was just plain WEIRD what Ashlee asked of Sean! Seriously? I step away from the TV for a moment & next thing I see is Sean carrying her to the couch with the blindfold. I couldn’t even BEGIN to decipher why this was happening.

    I don’t think Tierra faked the initial hypothermia…I do think she was looking for trouble because whereas all the other girls immediately sought blankets & boots, she decided to keep running around on the ice & snow in her wet bikini. BUT…I think she totally milked it afterwards. why would she need oxygen once she’s back in her room all snuggly & she didn’t need it with the paramedics?

  67. Lindsay says:

    It was the worst sweater of all time!!!

  68. Beth says:

    Great recap! My favorite line “Princess Selma refuses to put her life at risk and generously reapplies a coat of Chapstick to her non-kissable lips.”

    Sam—Tierra totally reminds me of a young Mariska Hargitay (from Law & Order SVU).

  69. Lauretta says:

    If Tierrable had an intense relationship for FIVE years with an alcoholic/drug addict, she’s totally messed up. The drama she creates is part of what she’s used to and if there isn’t enough drama around her, she has to create it to feel alive. The girl needs serious therapy, not a husband!

    Sean must be innocent in these matters and a genuinely good guy, but why, oh why didn’t he take Arie’s kissing advice. It was perfect! Maybe Sean has a prideful streak; perhaps his ONLY fault.

    BTW, Sean is coming to the Raleigh state fairgrounds on April 28 for the Southern Woman’s Show. I got my tickets!!!

    Thank you Lincee, for providing such spectacular literary fodder for us ladies! I enjoy the comments ‘almost’ as much as the blog! And I bet, just bet that OHCH will ask you out soon!

  70. ksvb says:

    Fave line this week: “She begins to cry. I begin to rock back and forth, trying to make it stop. She’s like a weird, emotional version of the dude who wore the Hamburglar mask that season.” LOL!

    I said the same thing about Blair Witch…too funny! I thought that Selma had a mini stroke or something when she was laughing about the shark comment. The only thing I like about the Tierrorist is that she actually eats. Good for her!

    I think you could add “I love being around you” to the drinking game.

    Sean letting go of Sarah only emphasized her handicap. Like he already feels bad enough that she only has one arm and so no need to make her feel worse at a rose ceremony. Brutal!

  71. MarriedWithEyes says:

    My favorite line was during the date with Des. She told him he was a good cheerleader when he was encouraging her down the mountain and he said “I cheered in high school.” I rolled!!!!!!
    His on screen kisses look best with Des. She is my favorite so far but I’m sure he won’t end up with her.
    All the girls have really grown on me but Tierra so I as long as it isn’t her I could live with it ;)

  72. Carbriley says:

    Is it just me or did Tierra resemble Alice Cooper with that tragic mascara issue?

  73. NYGal says:

    Anybody besides me think these episodes would be better at 90 minutes, or even 60?

  74. Veronique says:

    Getting through this episode was excruciating at times; I don’t need two 2-hour episodes of this silliness. I also noticed that Tierra doesn’t look quite 24. My boyfriend watched some of the first episode and believes that all of the ladies have subtracted five years from their actual ages.

  75. NYGal says:

    I could easily live with fewer girl fights and shorter make-out sessions. Voila! …Come to think of it, that might make the show 30 minutes!

  76. ILG says:

    YES!!! Robin Sparkles!!! :-)

  77. ILG says:

    Sean said this about Tierra’s “hypothermia” incident in Canada in his blog on People Mag’s website: “She was whisked away by medics and I honestly thought she was experiencing hypothermia. In hindsight, I’m not so sure … but she played the part well.”

    Hahahaha! At least he sees it now!

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