Bachelorette Ali: Episode 5

Raise your hand if you thought last night’s episode was one of the most boring ones to date?  Me too.  I guess ABC knew that episode five was about as thrilling as watching paint dry, grass grow or the guy who looks like Trista’s Ryan do just about anything.

What a coincidence that we learn the morning after that ABC has decided to release Jake and Vienna from their binding nuptial contract and conveniently announce that they have split up.  Their wings of love have been clipped.

Ten bucks says Jake ends up on Reid’s friend cruise that sets sail in January.  More on that in the recap.

Okay.  I’m off to figure out what in the world I can write about.  Awful poems, matching sweaters, mold, miniature horses, snotty noses, spelunking, steamy lakes, blatant disregard to crutches, fake tattoo reveals, more helicopters and a whimsical Mickey Mouse bedazzled pin. . .

Gee.  Where do I begin?

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BA
BA
9 years ago

Lincee, I agree it was boring. I wanted such a stronger reaction from Alli when Kermit revealed his tattoo, and I had hoped for more interplay and drama between him and Justin during the date. OHCH’s blog said it was so freezing on that date – I don’t think they all talked very much because they were trying to keep warm! And I give Alli props for keeping her cool during the tattoo reveal, but I felt like she was trying to be “very cautious…” I’m a teacher and I do that with kids sometimes if I think they are… Read more »

Kelly H
Kelly H
9 years ago

I like Mexican food.

Kelly H
Kelly H
9 years ago

Best comment of the night!

Elizabeth W
Elizabeth W
9 years ago

I like Mexican food reminds me of Natalie saying she liked all kinds of bears! Definitely best comment award for the night!

Tina
Tina
9 years ago

Seriously — how drunk was Ali in the “blue lagoon”? When she was about to give out the group-date rose, she was totally smashed. Nice….

And homegirl is just not feeling it for triple-C. As much as I wish she was, she isn’t. She is all about Frank and Roberto (but more Frank, I fear).

Thedoctor
Thedoctor
9 years ago

This episode was so boring, I fell asleep at the rose ceremony, the most not shocking ceremony ever. Kasey obviously didn’t read the ‘things you NEVER do on a reality show’. I’m pretty sure “getting a tattoo” is #1 on the list. I offer as exhibit 1, all inclusive: Heather on ROL1, the ones who were stupid enough on Real Chance of Love 1 & 2 and now Kasey.

My Awesomeness
My Awesomeness
9 years ago

I was looking at their faces during the “love poem” writing and they all looked like they were freezing to death. Roberto and Kirk looked like they were wishing that he had one of those hats. I wonder how cold it was? Of course, I had plenty of time to wonder since not a heck of a lot happened. 🙂 I wish just once the Bach’ette could see through these guys…that would be a new plot that they haven’t explored! ABC could tip her off and she could plan some outrageous revenge. Revenge of the Bachelorette! They could invite all… Read more »

Juno
Juno
9 years ago

I agree about Ali’s response to the tattoo – she was clearly aghast but also really didn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings by laughing at him. I was saying to the TV “Step away from the bachelorette….step away from the bachelorette…” Justin revealed himself to be such a tool – and I was kind of liking him before last night. I still really like CCC and Roberto, but Kirk really stepped it up and I’m liking him now too. I do not like Craig R and thought that his drawn on tattoo, while funny, was also a little mean,… Read more »

angie raz
angie raz
9 years ago

Kermit has got to be one of the looniest people I’ve ever seen. If he said the words “guide and protect her heart” one more time I think I would’ve spontaneously combusted! And Frank is a Weirdo if she likes that dude then she has bigger problems than this show!

Didn’t see Jake & Vienna splitting up…NOT! That was a no brainer and I hope Reid doesn’t ruin a perfectly good hot dude cruise by letting Jake on. The guy is good looking but what a tard!

I heart Kyptonite!

lauren
lauren
9 years ago

I know you are all surprised but People magazine is reporting that Jake and Vienna split up. I am shocked and dismayed.

lauren
lauren
9 years ago

Oh, and a yawn for last night’s episode.

Kodi
Kodi
9 years ago

please feel free to skip…it was lame…minus the:

Ali: so tell me about you

Trista’s Ryan: i like mexican food…..

LAME…

I am a Dreamer. I am a Believer. I love to love...
I am a Dreamer. I am a Believer. I love to love...
9 years ago

I was so uncomfortable during all the Casey diary sessions – I mean the guy may never get a date EVER and may be involuntarily committed after those wierd phrases and rantings! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! That was an extremely boring night. What is so difficult about telling someone you were impacted by MOLD? I think Ali is more into Roberto than CCC but she seems to be warming up to him – I sure am! Frank is getting odd – like he has two personalities – I like Ali. I don’t like Ali… Interesting to see what Lincee and Some Guy… Read more »

saggleo
saggleo
9 years ago

#5 Tina Said, And homegirl is just not feeling it for triple-C. As much as I wish she was, she isn’t. She is all about Frank and Roberto (but more Frank, I fear). Really? I got the opposite. She was kissing kissing Chris L…and just pecking Frank (who is such a freaking whiner!!! ugh). And she kept pulling away from Frank like she was done and he’d have to go to her to get another one. UGH! He soo annoys me! Send him and Craig R home please. Oh and Frank so bit off of Kirk’s poem read by walking… Read more »

Kelly H
Kelly H
9 years ago

Remember in Gilmore Girls when Paris had a life coach following her around making her re-think her rash decisions and her melt-downs???
Kasey needs one of those.
“Hey, before you go and permanently mark yourself with a ridiculous tattoo, let’s step back…rethink…and then proceed.”
“Kasey, before you throw your heart out on your sleeve…literally, think about how it might be perceived. Will this girl, whom you claim to love, dump your butt on a glacier? If you answered yes, step away from the blonde!”

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