Bachelorette Andi: The ultrasound technician tells all

Most of you know I watched the Men Tell All episode with Some Guy in Austin. I’m proud to say that we both rolled our eyes at the same parts, laughed at the other’s jokes and cheered when we noticed that Dylan had finally washed AND CUT his hair. Mrs. Some Guy joined me behind a couch cushion during the creepy/stalker moments and now I’m writing from the most comfortable guest bed known to man. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Since I am technically on vacation, I decided to recap using Twitter and Facebook posts. I’m pretty confident with that decision since these were the only notes I took after watching two hours of men telling pretty much nothing we didn’t already know:

– Harrison looks hot
– Ashely’s boobs
– Live ultrasound?
– It’s a boy!
– Seriously, those boobs.
– I’m going to count the scarves.
– Wait…this is a bit. Everyone has a scarf.
– The Farmer refused to knot his scarf.
– Andrew controversy.
– Cookie pin?
– Marcus, Pants Guy and Random Guy I Can’t Remember all wearing red pants!
– Marcus, Marquel, Farmer all in hot seat.
– She’s totally a plant from the audience.
– Dylan likes blonds and isn’t ready for marriage.
– Josh lied twice.
– Alexis Colby Carrington

Men Tell All is traditionally boring, so my list is technically all you need to know. But in case you want more, here are the most popular posts from last night. Feel free to use them to help fill in the blanks.

LIVE ULTRASOUND
Ashely and JP took up 30 minutes of the entire show to share with America Ashley’s boobs the fact that they are moving to Miami! Huzzah! They also cut a slit in the side of Ashley’s dress to do an ultrasound on live television. She’s having a boy!

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RED PANTS

Three different guys decided to channel their inner Ames and wear red pants. This seemed to set the social media scene a twitter. So we Tweeted.

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MAN SCARVES

All the men wore scarves when Our Host Chris Harrison introduced them. And even though this was a gag, another fashion trend emerged.

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ANDI IN THE HOT SEAT

Andi may have worn a sequined top as a dress last night, but she certainly looked great. She was in the hot seat for five seconds before heading out to a super secret door marked “private” where Our Host Chris Harrison gave her a note (legit 8th grade college ruled notebook paper note) from one of her guys. It was supposed to be ominous, but it was ridiculously staged. Did I mention that I miss Ames?

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HIDING BEHIND SEAT CUSHIONS

ABC planted a girl in the audience to “interrupt” Our Host to tell him that she sort of kind of liked The Farmer. Harrison brought her down to the hot seat and suggested they speed date during the commercial. I may have choked on my own tongue and probably have permanent eye damage from shoving my fingers in the sockets.

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That about sums up the night. There was a lot of pimping out of the new Bachelor Paradise show that starts in two weeks. I found it odd that the new Bachelor wasn’t announced, which makes me think that the next Bachelor is somehow connected to this germy spin-off. Something fishy is definitely going on.

Of course, it’s going to be fabulous and I can’t wait!

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