Bachelorette Andi: The ultrasound technician tells all

Most of you know I watched the Men Tell All episode with Some Guy in Austin. I’m proud to say that we both rolled our eyes at the same parts, laughed at the other’s jokes and cheered when we noticed that Dylan had finally washed AND CUT his hair. Mrs. Some Guy joined me behind a couch cushion during the creepy/stalker moments and now I’m writing from the most comfortable guest bed known to man. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Since I am technically on vacation, I decided to recap using Twitter and Facebook posts. I’m pretty confident with that decision since these were the only notes I took after watching two hours of men telling pretty much nothing we didn’t already know:

– Harrison looks hot
– Ashely’s boobs
– Live ultrasound?
– It’s a boy!
– Seriously, those boobs.
– I’m going to count the scarves.
– Wait…this is a bit. Everyone has a scarf.
– The Farmer refused to knot his scarf.
– Andrew controversy.
– Cookie pin?
– Marcus, Pants Guy and Random Guy I Can’t Remember all wearing red pants!
– Marcus, Marquel, Farmer all in hot seat.
– She’s totally a plant from the audience.
– Dylan likes blonds and isn’t ready for marriage.
– Josh lied twice.
– Alexis Colby Carrington

Men Tell All is traditionally boring, so my list is technically all you need to know. But in case you want more, here are the most popular posts from last night. Feel free to use them to help fill in the blanks.

LIVE ULTRASOUND
Ashely and JP took up 30 minutes of the entire show to share with America Ashley’s boobs the fact that they are moving to Miami! Huzzah! They also cut a slit in the side of Ashley’s dress to do an ultrasound on live television. She’s having a boy!

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RED PANTS

Three different guys decided to channel their inner Ames and wear red pants. This seemed to set the social media scene a twitter. So we Tweeted.

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MAN SCARVES

All the men wore scarves when Our Host Chris Harrison introduced them. And even though this was a gag, another fashion trend emerged.

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ANDI IN THE HOT SEAT

Andi may have worn a sequined top as a dress last night, but she certainly looked great. She was in the hot seat for five seconds before heading out to a super secret door marked “private” where Our Host Chris Harrison gave her a note (legit 8th grade college ruled notebook paper note) from one of her guys. It was supposed to be ominous, but it was ridiculously staged. Did I mention that I miss Ames?

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HIDING BEHIND SEAT CUSHIONS

ABC planted a girl in the audience to “interrupt” Our Host to tell him that she sort of kind of liked The Farmer. Harrison brought her down to the hot seat and suggested they speed date during the commercial. I may have choked on my own tongue and probably have permanent eye damage from shoving my fingers in the sockets.

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That about sums up the night. There was a lot of pimping out of the new Bachelor Paradise show that starts in two weeks. I found it odd that the new Bachelor wasn’t announced, which makes me think that the next Bachelor is somehow connected to this germy spin-off. Something fishy is definitely going on.

Of course, it’s going to be fabulous and I can’t wait!

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Laurie
Laurie
July 22, 2014 7:02 am

That note looked like it was 18 pages. FRONT AND BACK!!!!!

2 cents
2 cents
July 22, 2014 7:38 am

I am a little disappointed that you, Lincee, weren’t wearing red pants and a scarf (in the above photo) in the spirit of the show! 🙂

J
J
July 22, 2014 8:03 am

They will just wait to announce Chris as the new Bachelor at the live after the final rose maybe? That whole fake speed date thing had to be setting him up for that right? The whole show felt so awkward!

Dawn
Dawn
July 22, 2014 8:06 am

How can we not mention Crazy Chris trying to get down to Andi and OHCH’s security threat? SO creepy.

Kate
Kate
July 22, 2014 8:39 am

Everything single guy is mic’ed. To pretend as if ABC “didn’t have the audio” of that guy’s whispered comment is ridiculous. For whatever reason, they wanted to portray that guy as a racist, rather than JJ as liar. (though mixing up the names of Ron/Marquel didn’t help his case)

Julie
Julie
July 22, 2014 9:41 am

Aww, I made your post with my Twitter comment! I feel important!!!!! 🙂

I’m just gonna go on record, whether it’s politically correct to do so or not, and say that I think that Andrew’s comment was likely “She gave roses to both of the black guys”. The “blackies” thing is ridiculous. Nobody says that in this century other than maybe Strom Thurmond when he was alive. And it’s ridiculous to believe that during that particular rose ceremony they just happened not to have a mic. I call BS on that one. They just don’t want to confirm what he said, or make the pants guy look like a pot stirrer look bad by trying to use race to stir the pot.

I still don’t get the ultrasound thing, Ashley & JP announced 3 months ago that it’s a boy. This was the most ridiculous thing I’d seen on this show!

I hope Farmer is the new Bachelor. He’s such a cutie. I have a soft spot for him as I was in love with an Iowa farmboy back in the day myself. Sigh. There is a lot to be said for those fellas!

Julie
Julie
July 22, 2014 9:42 am

“They just don’t want to confirm what he said, or make the pants guy look like a pot stirrer look bad by trying to use race to stir the pot.”

Holy crap. Am I high or what? Oy.

Kate
Kate
July 22, 2014 9:50 am

ABC has a pretty bad track record with race and the bachelorette. RIght now they have a story line of “a white contestant said something racist and the black contestant handled it with grace and maturity.” Not sure they want to cop to another contestant trying to stir the pot using race.

Also in the video, JJ didn’t exactly look disgusted or say anything back when Andrew (?) whispered in his ear. You’d imagine someone would react with a “Dude, really?” face. That he didn’t say anything then, but tried to start something days later, makes me suspicious.

Breanne McIntyre
Breanne McIntyre
July 22, 2014 10:14 am

I thought/did pretty much everything on the list, lol! But I felt the live ultrasound was a bit…much. There was really no other way to fill that block of time?
Farmer Chris for next Bachelor!
Did the Pantsapreneur remind anyone else of Waldo of Where’s Waldo?

nancy
nancy
July 22, 2014 11:05 am

Woo-hoo! I made the recap! Just as excited as I was when you replied to my tweet ; ) Wow, was that the most awkward 2 hours in Bachelor viewing history?! I may never recover. Thanks for making it worth the suffering – your wit never disappoints! xo

Liana
Liana
July 22, 2014 11:27 am

Wow, Ashley’s boobs left me speechless. Bigger than her forehead! I had to fast forward the whole Ashley/JP thing. Too staged and too long.
The rest of the show boring! I miss Ames too!

Harper
Harper
July 22, 2014 11:32 am

I agree with Julie – he probably didn’t actually use the word “blackies” but said something along those lines. And I REALLY wanted Andrew to just own up to saying something offense and follow it with a comment about ABC only having 2 black contestants, never having a black Bachelor/ette, or something that would put some blame on them. It seemed like such a missed opportunity – but then maybe they wouldn’t have aired it.

Rperry
Rperry
July 22, 2014 11:33 am

After last night, I’m back on team Marquel for the next Bachelor. He would be fun and entertaining. I’m afraid Chris might get a little boring. Think the producers are still undecided and that’s why the next Bachelor wasn’t announced?

Lorie
Lorie
July 22, 2014 11:37 am

Oh yes Lincee- those boobs! What the H? I know women get a little bigger when pregnant, but not a total transformation. Did she get implants?
The whole Men Tell All was awkward, the girl calling out “Chris” in the audience was totally staged, and you could tell by the look on Harrison’s face.
JP looks over the moon to be a new dad, but Ashley didn’t look too happy last night, or tired, or something. Maybe she’s feeling a little too pregnant.
I don’t know if it’s just the editing, but the scenes with her and Nick looked super hot. Then, she tells his sister they have a “mental connection”, and she seems to want that, so if she doesn’t pick him, that is some super slick editing! ha ha….

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