Bachelorette Becca recap: Pineapple

Most of you around here know that “pineapple” is the official safe word for the iHateGreenBeans community. We’ve used it since Mesnick’s Melba toast season and it has come in handy thousands of times throughout the seasons.

Let me say, dear reader, that it was PROCLAIMED last night over and over and over again when this happened:

Bachelorette Becca

There it is. In all its golden glory. I’m afraid Houston doesn’t have enough antibacterial hand sanitizer to squirt directly into my eyeballs. The image is there F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Therefore, I will have to adopt the same helmet/goggle situation Becca is wearing in the picture above for the rest of my life.

Also, work hinders me from writing my recap in a timely manner. It’s going to be tardy. I apologize for that. But have no fear! Y’all can have a conversation right here in the comments section. I’ll give you a topic:

Is the earth flat?

Discuss.

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Natalie
Natalie

Oh, goodness…Jordan CANNOT be so self deluded? Can he?? CAN HE????? Garret is a BABE! Didn’t see it at first but he’s been a 4 week grower for me! He’s my pick…well that and Becca’s endless gushing…send the other guys home hahaha Jean Blac’s “I love you” backpedal was the Pinapple-iest thing ever. As was the Garret and Becca dancing and macking on in front of the crowd with Grainger Smith..honestly why…WHY? Sooooooooooooooooooooooo cringeworthy! I think that every time.!

Rosa
Rosa

I agree! I love Garrett’s personality. He seems so happy-go-lucky and I hope as people watch the season he’ll be exonerated from the stupid Instagram-likes-gate of 2018. I thought the Wills date was kinda boring. Jordan….. there are no words. Looking forward to your recap Lincee no matter how tardy!!

Old Christine
Old Christine

Those shiny gold panties just about did me in. I have found Jordan amusing, but that was before the Gold Panty Incident.
Then after Bachelorette I stupidly watched The Proposal. The only good thing about that show was listening to my husband’s snarky comments about it from the next room, and his fake cheering with the audience. I won’t waste an hour of my life on that show again.
Pineapple indeed.

Susan
Susan

The Proposal……. What a stupid, stupid show! I would love to hear your thoughts Lincee.

Hayley
Hayley

Agreed! Lincee I was hoping you might have watched that dumb show as well just to hear your thoughts. It almost makes the Bachelor/Bachelorette seem normal. :/

LORRAINE
LORRAINE

Oh yes please Lincee, give us a paragraph or two on the Proposal!!!

Anita
Anita

CAN. NOT. WAIT for the Podcast and Some Guy’s take on the golden panties and the “I love you/psyche just kidding!” Fiasco.

Anita
Anita

I didn’t make it. I checked out when the girl “wanted to be vulnerable” in a swimsuit. WITH HER DADDY IN THE AUDIENCE!!! PINE APPLE!!!! Couldn’t find that remote fast enough.

That whole premise is one huge “pineapple.” Can a show be cancelled after only one episode? Please?

Vicki
Vicki

Ohmigosh, The Proposal! I could NOT believe what a train wreck! I was going to immediately turn it off but saw that the guy was from Bakersfield and I used to live there so what the hay. I won’t do that again! Talk about aco-taco! How awkward was it when the guy proposed to the one girl (after asking her 3 or 4 questions) and the other one was left standing there. SO embarrassing! Thinking maybe the reason Lincee’s recap is running late is because she watched too and is still waiting for her stomach to settle down.

Jen

Did anyone catch that in the previews for the proposal, one of the contestants was Scallop Fingers? Also, I saw online that Ashley I. and Jared GOT ENGAGED in Paradise this last weekend. Apparently crazy wears you down after so long!!!

Rperry
Rperry

Yes! I paused the promo for the show and just stared at her. Thought, “Can it really be her?”

Susan
Susan

I thought the same thing from the promos. It actually isn’t Scallop Fingers (Christen). This girl’s name is Monica. They sure do look alike though. Maybe sisters?

Kelli
Kelli

Captain Underpants is pretty hilarious and I’m sure the only reason Becca is keeping him around is for the comic relief. Which was also provided by Lincoln, the flat earther? Whhhaaaaa?????? Not a pineapple moment, but more a W.T.F. moment.

Kevin will not be providing commentary this week because he was naughty yesterday and spent the evening in time out.

Norma
Norma

I agree completely, Kelli with your first paragraph, but I must ask…whatever did Kevin do???? I look forward to his commentary just as much as Lincee’s!!!! He’s become our mascot!!

Kathleen
Kathleen

Free Kevin! We miss his on-point (on-snout?) observations!

grace
grace

i believe she is “required” to keep certain contestants that make the show more interesting, dramatic, etc.

Dee
Dee

Yes, FREE KEVIN! FREE KEVIN! FREE KEVIN! Haha We miss you, little buddy. Hopefully he toes the line a bit better for next week’s episode . . .

Deebee

I’m so sick of Jordan and his scripted behavior. He’s now gotten much more than his “15 minutes of fame” so can we please just move on?!

Laurie

Did you see this show illustrate IRONY tho???? The same golden panty boy later wore a shirt with a pineapple on it!!!!!!!

Shannon
Shannon

Laurie I noticed that too! hilarious!

LORRAINE
LORRAINE

Jordan is hilarious!!! His snarky comments are GOLDEN… Without him it was all that bozohead declaring his fake love along with that fake perfume. I mean how cheesy was that? I am so glad that Becca shut that mess down. I bet he has declared his fake love many times before and handed out that same perfume over and over, probably his signature move in order to get the panties down! What a bozohead!

I for one hope Jordan pops up on Paradise! He has not even gotten a kiss yet! I almost fell out of my sleep laughing at his Pity Rose for the Chicken phrase. He is reality show gold! Along with his Gold Undies!!! More Jordan!!! Of course this season the Two on ONE date was designed for him and Chickenman! Bring it on!

I was in the bathroom at the end of the Proposal and missed the ending. I need to find a recap! That was Lame.. I asked you 4 questions, and seen you in your bikini, WILL you now spend the rest of forever with me. Umm no.. I don’t date cops. So I would have been out, kinda like that chick that said she didn’t want kids! It was like BYE BYE!!!

Yesi
Yesi

I totally agree- Jordan is reality TV Gold! His commentary makes the episodes for me! And, I do agree with him also, he is pretty mulit-faceted- never backs down from another guy and chopped that wood log in half with one go! Not crushing, just observing!

Anita
Anita

Two thoughts last night:

1, Yep. Garrett’s the winner. Everybody else can go home. She’s giggly and goofy and smiley and touchy with him. They are so freaking CUTE together. It’s a wrap folks.

And

2. But…isn’t…Jordan…GAY? He is right? He’s not into Becca At. All. But whenever one of the guys “antagonizes” him? He lights up like Christmas. Shouldn’t he be lighting up when BECCA’S in the room? Hm? No? Okay then.

I see now why the powers that be are making her keep Jordan so long. So she can get rid of him on the two-on-one date. LEAVE THEM BOTH IN THE DESERT BECCA!

I hate to admit this but I’m loving the heck out of this season. These guys are supremely entertaining.

BA77
BA77

I totally agree on both points. I could see it coming down to Blake and Garrett… They need to downplay drama and start showing her with another contestant like Blake that we could possibly think has a chance!

Ross
Ross

Is it me? or did Becca do a convincing Morticia Addams impression in her rose ceremony gown? The Jordan thing has surely run it’s course, but I’m sure the producers will keep him around as long as there is drama to cash in on. My gaydar still rings loud and clear.

Aimee
Aimee

Garrett is really growing on me! He just seems normal and down to earth. I like Colten to but I have a feeling that there is something looming that we have yet to see!

The Jean Blanc thing was soo weird. I think he really did like her and then tried to save face which made it worse, blowing up in everyone’s faces.

And Lincoln….it is one of those bless your heart moments. He can’t be serious can he?! Friction??

Jordan – I can’t even go there. He is a producers plant and I feel like they are not even hiding that he is!

I loved the lumberjack date!

Yesenia
Yesenia

LOVED the lumberjack date too!

Ruth

I was hoping Garret would redeem himself from the Instagram likes since Becca seems to really, really, really like him, but last night he said the word “bloodline” when talking about his family and that is a dog whistle for white supremacists. So I’m still not feeling the Garret love. I hope if he is a nazi Becca gets out.

Donna
Donna

Wow. That’s a little harsh calling the kid a nazi, racist, white supremacist…based on what?? Not getting all this outrage over him, it’s not like he has swastika tattoos on his face and wears a white hood.
Personally, I just enjoy this recap and laughing at the absurdity of this Show. It’s my guilty pleasure and break from real suffering in life 🙂

Lauren
Lauren

you don’t have to have swastika tattoos and wear a white hood to be a bigot. I think Ruth is just pointing out that his use of language falls in line with someone who holds beliefs that would lead them to find humor and “like” photos with extremely hateful and bigoted themes (a bit of a pattern).

He may seem sweet on the show but the show is surface level. We don’t really see who these people are, we just get glimpses. Becca clearly doesn’t get to see who they truly are either, or I doubt she, a self proclaimed feminist and member of the resistance, would be smitten with a man who likes posts saying that Sandy Hook was a hoax or belittling transgender children.

The fact that he is acting “cute” and “sweet” and “like a nice guy”when he knows everyone is watching doesn’t make him those things, its what he did in his life before the cameras and those little slips that show his true self, that are indicators of who he really is, and I will tell you its not good.

Finally, I bet his ex-wife has a very different story about why they split, i have a feeling she isn’t the monster he made her out to be, but I am sure that will come to light eventually.

Anita
Anita

Woah…he liked one racist post a billion years ago. He said “bloodline” – one. word. he liked one. post.

And suddenly he’s a fricken NAZI????? COME ON Y’ALL!!!!!

Ruth

I did say IF.

Lauren
Lauren

It wasn’t one post. It was a whole bunch.

Donna
Donna

“We don’t really see who these people are, we just get glimpses.”

For example, what they may or may not “like” on social media? Isn’t that just a glimpse… Just seems really judgmental and narrow minded to judge a man so harshly based on what amounts to hearsay. I honestly don’t care enough to stalk/research him, shoot I couldn’t pick him out of a line up or wouldn’t recognize him in the grocery line! Just tired of the ignorant, blind bashing of a guy because he may disagree with your views. I find racist and nazi extremely strong words to be tossed around lightly.

Also, bloodlines?? Since when is that a bad word?? After watching Justify win the triple crown we had an in depth discussion about bloodlines. Does that mean all horse racing fans are racist??

I love this show for its insane, improbable story lines and humorous characters. I do, however, wish there wasn’t so much of a rush to demonize and berate this guy. Tearing others down, and trashing their character, doesn’t make them see your point of view. That seems to be a tough lesson for many woman to learn.
So with that I think I’m done reading these comments and will just laugh my head off at the fools looking for live lol! Yall take care and enjoy!

Lauren
Lauren

It’s not really hearsay. He liked a bunch of social media posts that are super offensive to most moral people. He apologized so he obviously thought he did something wrong, or more likely understands it’s not socially acceptable to hold those views. I honestly don’t really care if he wants to be ignorant. Im just surprised that the fact that he has a nice smile and says generic bachelor catch phrases would redeem him to so many. I also wonder if Becca knew about his views she would have kept him. ‍♀️You obviously are a big fan. Sorry if I offended you.

Karen S
Karen S

Lauren, YES. This. I for one cannot even stomach watching him after finding out this information. It makes me physically ill. He and Becca are just so fundamentally different in this regard, and I just don’t see how, if he’s the last one standing, this could possibly work out.

The show needs to do better with weeding people out that have pending criminal charges against them, sketchy social media histories, relationships with other franchise members, etc. And they need to actually compare them to what the current lead is actually like. Becca is one of the more open and political of the Bacherlorettes we’ve had. It just seems like they’re doing her a vast disservice in their “vetting” of these guys. She had no idea during filming what she was dealing with. It just seems unfair to put her in a position where she has to deal with all this crap.

Lauren
Lauren

And with regard to “bloodlines” discussing it in the context of horses vs humans is totally different. Fundamentally flawed argument, Donna

Vhout
Vhout

Join the discussion…Well said! Could not agree more!

Karen S
Karen S

Wondering the same things…

Dee
Dee

Garrett puts on a good show and is not too hard to look at, but he’s lost all appeal for me after finding out about his social media behavior where he was mocking the trans community, liberal feminists, and undocumented immigrants, and spreading false information about a young Parkland High School shooting survivor. Someone else here in the comments caught Garrett’s comment last night about his family’s “bloodline” and I have to say I found that pretty telling as well with regard to the possibility of him having white supremacist leanings. Think Becca (herself a somewhat liberal feminist!) is gonna be kicking herself and HARD if she chose him at the end. Also, can I just say that there is NO WAY David would have to be “in the ICU” for a mere broken nose like that. Please! Manufactured drama much, ABC?! LOL

Karen S
Karen S

“Garrett puts on a good show and is not too hard to look at, but he’s lost all appeal for me after finding out about his social media behavior…” YES. Exactly this. I couldn’t even concentrate on their date because I cannot bring myself to overlook this stuff.

In regards to David, it sounds like they were worried he had a concussion, among other things. Probably why they took precautions. He did fall on his head, afterall. Now, to try and imply it might’ve been the doing of another contestant- THAT is manufactured drama.

EBro
EBro

Garrett seems like a pretty dim bulb to me. Every sentence he uttered sounded like the autogenerated responses in gmail. Becca clearly prefers him, but we’ll see how appealing he is when she has to spend multiple days in a row with him.

Doris
Doris

I have one question, if Becca is asking honesty from all the guys, shouldn’t she be honest with all of them? I know the producers are keeping Goldie Pants around for entertainment but it kinda looks bad on Becca, if you ask me. My favorites are Garret and Blake. Has anyone noticed that Garret kinda looks like Owen Wilson?

April
April

Yes, but IMO he looks even more like Luke Wilson.

Rperry
Rperry

Another pineapple moment for me was the jump and straddle ™ on poor Garret. He looked like he was barely able to keep standing upright. And yet he seems to be an outdoorsy, strong guy.

Dee
Dee

P.S. I miss Clay! Sure wish he could come back this season . . .

Mollie A
Mollie A

CLAY FOR THE NEXT BACHELOR.

Dee
Dee

Yes, please!!

Karen S
Karen S

He’s got more important things to deal with than the Bachelor franchise, unfortunately for us. Trying to prolong his NFL career and sign with a team for the upcoming season are far bigger deals. Doubt he’ll be on Paradise, and also doesn’t work with him being the Bachelor. Perhaps once he retires?

Jen
Jen

Last night was… something else. Jordan cracks me up but obviously is kept (along with Chicken) for the two on one next week. I’m team Blake all the way. I just hope Becca gets there with him. It’s not looking good for anyone whose name is not Garrett.

Ann
Ann

Jordan is so obviously a producer’s required pick. Her body language, tone of voice, and total lack of enthusiasm when she was forced to give him the rose were very telling! And where oh where was our black modesty box when he bent over in those gold panties? Yikes! And she kept that joker and let the sweet Harlem Globetrotter go! No way.

I agree with the comments about Garrett. In addition to his social media rants, his little bomb-ola about being married previously (3 months!) was a surprise. And his explanation was interesting and didn’t seem honest.

And I, too, would like to see Kevin freed!