Bachelorette Becca Recap: Beccaelection 2018

Bachelorette Becca Recap: Week 6

Thank goodness the ABC production department brought back the handy digital map, because I’m not sure everyone knows where Richmond is located, let alone Virginia.

ABC: The network that teaches geography, as well as debauchery.

Here we go, people. Becca is, according to all the license plates and commemorative commonwealth paraphernalia, in Virginia and Virginia is for lovers. It makes sense that this is the perfect place to fall in love. It’s also the perfect place to spell out L-O-V-E with your body while wearing an adorable hot pink coat that I have since Googled.

Let the record show that it is 101 degrees outside in Texas right now. I have no business Googling an adorable hot pink coat. However, if there is an opportunity for me to go somewhere frigid, I will wear that adorable hot pink coat and pray to my lucky stars that Our Host Chris Harrison is there wearing the exact same blue sweater he wore while hobnobbing with Becca.

Can you imagine? Chris Harrison in a winter setting? I can. He smelled like a crackling fire, mountain air, and a hot toddy. Sign me up.

SIMPLE DISCLAIMER

The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. However, if you or someone you Snap happen to personally know, sort of know, is friends with the Starbucks barista who’s obsessed with The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and looks exactly like one of the contestants on the show…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.

First One-On-One Date
Jason
“Life is All About Surprises”

When Jason’s name is read out loud as the lucky recipient of the first one-on-one, he barely has time to spout off the generic, “I’m really looking forward to, blah, blah, blah, yay for alone time, blah, blah, blah, going to get dressed now” speech before Crazy Eddie Chris eclipses the moment with, “I hope I get a two-on-one.”

Huh?

That annoying comment somehow morphs into Chris and Lincoln hopping into a verbal argument. They talked smack about body shaming, a factual tout followed by a request to see “historical data to back that statement up,” along with “stop crying” and a promise for Crazy Eddie to beat up Lincoln, which I would totally pay money to see. Or to see him try.

Colton put it best when he said, “The wheels of the bus have officially come off. We are all on ‘Chris Watch’ right now, just waiting to see when he blows up next.”

Watching two grown men fight is brutal. Poor Blake looks like he’s suffering from major acid reflux. He’s not adjusting well to the tension. Wills remains stoned, Leo is checked out, and the rest count down the seconds until the producers let them go about their day. Couch time is equal to torture time this season.

Jason is grateful to be away from the drama for sure. I must say that he has officially broken through the radar and is no longer flying under it. Yes he still looks like an extra in the cast of Jersey Boys, but he’s owning the black outfits, the crucifix around his neck, and the ample amounts of hair product like a boss.

And Becca L-O-V-E-S it. Thankfully, she doesn’t spell it out. Instead, she takes him to the grave of Edgar Allan Poe’s mom and makes him kiss her in a coffin. Ew. But at the same time, I’m sure Becca is testing her theory that Jason has mad make out skills in any situation, including the final resting place of the maternal influence of an American literary critic.

Becca likes the way Jason kisses. She’s mentioned it three times. If he doesn’t find himself on one knee at the end of this gig, he’s set for life in that department. Who cares that the man can’t do the splits in his tight skinny pants? If the lip lock game is strong, you need to lip lock that business down.

PS: The Unhappy Hour is what nightmares are made of. Gothic attire, a weird contortionist, the creepy guys playing a tiny accordion and mandolin, and blood cocktails do not scream romantic to me. I guess Virginia is also for lovers of the undead.

Becca and Jason ride around on a trolley sipping champagne for a few hours. She reminds us again that he is a great kisser and that he has really taken the time to step up and show her who he is as a person. There is a connection and a chemistry that is undeniable. Not only is it with Becca, but it’s with his hometown friends, too.

Jason practically cried in their arms when Becca surprised him with a bro reunion at a brewery. Best day ever for Jason! Especially when the guys endorse him to the moon and back. He’s the real deal and Becca would be an idiot to let him go.

Becca takes this as a big green light to Lift and Straddle, which is a branch off the more aggressive Jump and Straddle (trademark pending). She is super pumped that her people would be totally BFFs with his people. She starts imagining colors of thread for matching friendship bracelets that would present this moment in time. Red for love, black for gothic, yellow for beer in a wine glass. Perfect.

At dinner, Jason shares a tender story about his grandmother’s battle with Alzheimers and how it changed his perspective on life. You must not take a minute for granted. Because someone could be gone literally or mentally before you know it. Having lived through this exact lesson before with the death of her father, Becca settles into her lovey dovey feelings and gives Jason the rose for being so good at life, great at kissing, and having “one of the best characters I’ve ever met in a man.”

Would that be the Jersey Boy character? Or the Italian guy who gets bumped off in the opening sequence of The Godfather? Be more specific, Becca.

At midnight-thirty, Becca climbs up a ladder to the clock tower in her skin-tight skirt. We have no idea if Jason took a peek at the goods, but I’m guessing that since he has one of the best characters Becca has ever seen, he probably kept his gaze at eye level. They make out by the little hand of a very large clock and toast to a perfect night.

Group Date
“Let’s Make History”
Colton
Garrett
Wills
Conner
Blake
Lincoln
Crazy Eddie Chris

All the boys meet Becca in front of the capitol building wearing their finest rose ceremony duds. For some reason, Crazy Eddie Chris chooses an orange pocket square the size of a placemat to flop from his breast pocket. Already things are amuck.

Becca is in a red power suit and has so much fun introducing the boys to Abraham Lincoln and a brunette George Washington. Honest Abe announces that the boys will be participating in a “Beccaelection” debate in front of the Governor and two hundred eager commonwealth residents. Each mans a podium and wait for the questioning to begin.

Q: What is your idea of the perfect date?
Colton: “Well, Virginia is for lovers…of dogs. So we would go to a dog park.”
Lincee: “April 25. It’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket!”

There are softball questions all around before Harrison asks something about honesty and being truthful with Becca. Lincoln answers and Crazy Eddie Chris interrupts with “I can’t say the same for my opponents.”

Harrison masterfully pokes the bear and asks Crazy Eddie Chris what he means? And Chris answers. And answers. And answers some more. He drops a few f-bombs in front of the all-American children holding star-spangled balloons, tiny flags, and hot dogs. He continues to use military phrases like “battle” and “fight.” He majorly throws Lincoln under the bus and completely ruins the date for everyone.

Becca physically recoils into her seat. Her face is a mixture of angry and annoyed. All of the guys know that Chris has gone too far this time and are ticked off that once again, he has commandeered the day with his own insecurities.

A few of the guys call Crazy out for airing dirty laundry in front of a bunch of strangers. They implore him to calm down and just forget about it. Move on, dude.

Sorry. The crazy can’t be switched off at this point. In fact, Eds whips into overdrive and challenges everyone once again with a promise to get the date rose. Also, he can defend himself all day long so COME AT ME!

Becca arrives in her black jumpsuit, ready to wash the day away with her third gin and tonic. Lincoln is the first to get some alone time and uses it to basically tell Becca that the entire house is scared of what Crazy Eddie will do because he will cut someone in their sleep for sure and then accuse them of killing his goldfish.

Of course Crazy Eddie interrupts. Becca wonders out loud why everyone in the house is threatened by his presence? Crazy Eddie is literally shocked by this piece of information and begs Becca to admit that she’s joking. She’s not. She’s very serious. In fact, I saw her look down at the holes in the knees of his jeans and I’m sure she questioned if he was so angry that he pulled the material out with his bare hands.

Garrett arrives and Becca pleads with her eyes for him to steal her. PLEASE! Crazy Eddie leaves and then she asks for five minutes alone to herself before promising to come find Garrett again. Garrett obliges and then proceeds to rip Crazy Eddie a new one in the most gentlemanly way possible. He is sick and tired of having his woman in a bad head space when this chach is around. NO MORE.

Eddie ignores Garrett and picks a fight with Conner. He wants to know if he’s afraid to stay in a room with him. Conner is all, “Who me?” I’m all, “I don’t want to see your cleavage anymore, Conner. Again, button up.”

Colton puts two and two together and figures out that the culprit must be Lincoln since he’s the only one who has spoken to Becca so far. Lincoln back pedals and lies and makes up a different story than what he told Becca. Colton and Garret demand that everyone tighten up and act like men. Blake pops an antacid.

Becca returns in a proper head space and listens as Garrett recites his “closing arguments” from the afternoon’s debate. She smiles when Wills tells her that he’s falling for her, and melts into Colton’s arms who concludes that a major mug down session is just what Becca needs at this exact moment.

It turns out, Colton was right. He gets the date rose.

Second One-On-One Date
Leo
“The World is Our Oyster”

Becca is emotionally exhausted. Leo is the perfect person to accompany her when she’s distracted because he doesn’t really talk, he doesn’t really know how to kiss, and he begins every sentence with, “You’re so hot.” The one thing that she didn’t anticipate was how tight they would be wedged into the back of a puddle jumper plane when they flew in circles around Virginia.

But his brute and brawn did come in handy. Who else would you want to plunge their arm into a freezing body of water to pull out oysters? And whoever said oysters are an aphrodisiac never met Becca. Poor Leo probably would have scored major points if he had given her an electric blanket instead of a slimy mollusk.

At dinner, Leo tells a sad story about how he is disappointed in himself for not becoming a professional baseball player like his dad wanted him to be. Becca was kind enough to throw him a consoling bone by saying, “You are an amazing person. Don’t ever question that.”

And since she pretty much knew that she was ditching the drama queens Lincoln and Chris, along with Jimmy Neutron, she tosses Leo a pity rose before whisking him away for a private concert with country music artist Morgan Evans and two hundred of the same people who were in front of the capital earlier. Free tickets is the least ABC could do when one of the bachelors shouted profanities within earshot of children.

Pre-Rose Ceremony

Crazy Eddie journals all of this thoughts and feelings. Thank goodness Richard Marx and Wayne Newton taught him how to channel his injustices into the written word. He pays the ABC Intern twenty bucks to give him Becca’s hotel address and begins the lonely walk to his one true love. He tells the camera that he will never stop fighting for the woman he knows he’s supposed to be with.

He finds Becca still in her silver and black sequins zebra-print dress. He tells her that he can see himself marrying her at the end of this journey and my girl interrupts with a well placed, “What has changed since we last spoke? Because that’s a big step from you questioning if I was into you last week. Now you can see yourself proposing?”

Chris continues to play the “adversity is not going to stop me from what I want” card. And Becca turns a pretty crimson color that looks fabulous with that kicky dress. He whines about how he’s been attacked. Becca reminds him that he has participated in the attacking game, too. She volleys defenses in his direction and after looooong pauses, he always says, “What are you saying?”

She’s saying YA BASIC. Bye bye bye Crazy Eddie.

Finally Becca tells him that she doesn’t want to drag him through an entire rose ceremony. She knows what she wants and that is for him to leave.

Crazy: “So what are you saying?”
Becca: “Can I walk you out?”
Crazy: “I don’t need a walk out.”
Becca: “Well, I’m going to give you respect and walk you out.”
Lincee: “This is code for home girl needs to make sure the cray cray walks out the door for realz and doesn’t linger around balconies or open doors.”

I love that there was a rejection SUV waiting for him. What are the odds that the Governor was in the driver’s seat?

Becca knows that Chris is an angry person and she vows to never have any more nonsense around her. That’s why she gets rid of Lincoln, too. Conner was just an innocent bystander in a rather large bow tie.

Now that the riffraff is gone, maybe Blake can calm down and pick up some lost ground. It appears that Colton and Jason are our frontrunners, with Garrett and Wills not far behind. Also, there’s Leo. Bless him.

Photo By: ABC.com

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Carrie
Carrie

“She’s very serious. In fact, I saw her look down at the holes in the knees of his jeans and I’m sure she questioned if he was so angry that he pulled the material out with his bare hands.” These may be my most favorite sentences in a recap ever.

Melissa C
Melissa C

Great recap as always! Listening to the “dinner” conversations with her and Jason and then with Leo as well, it struck me how nice it was that they didn’t say “like” every other word. I didn’t realize until then just how much that bugged me about he-who-must-not-be-named-yet-everyone-brings-him-up (including Abe Lincoln!) It restores a bit of my faith in the future. The clothing choices of the men though, I must say, do not. Thanks again for the great recap!

Janet
Janet

I think all Crazy Eddie Chris only wanted was to stay around long enough to be considered for the next Bachelor. He’s so self-absorbed that he didn’t even notice that everyone thought he was a jerk. He was just trying to say something so that Becca would keep him around – not for her but because he was stupid enough to think the viewers would want him to come back. LOSER!

Shannon
Shannon

Buckle up your seat belts for BIP because Crazy Eddie Chris will be there!

Karen S
Karen S

I actually saw this morning that he posted a very long note on instagram apologizing and actually (SHOCKING) OWNING up to his behavior. It was nice. Saw it referenced on another recap I read so I checked it out. Hopefully he acts like a normal human on Paradise. He needs to redeem himself badly.

Jane
Jane

I was definitely discussing the men’s outfits with my viewing pals last night – the show *must* be dressing them more this season because their casual outfits in particular always seem very odd. What happened to good old v-neck t-shirts? What is with the weird vest hoodies? Also, why did they change out of their debate suits for the after party? They looked so good before! Then they go and put on ripped-knee black jeans and ill-fitting shirts.

Macedonian Hussy
Macedonian Hussy

Thank you, thank you, thank you. The misuse of the word “like” which I think started in southern California, has laced virtually all verbal conversations. It was most irritating when the guy playing Abe Lincoln said it. If people cut “likes” more can be said in less time. Aren’t most of the people college graduates?

Anyhow, we are well rid of Crazy Eddie and Lincoln. Many other bachelors and bachelorettes seem to keep the disruptives around. Becca had good sense which shows she is (so far) not interested in negativity. She had enough with it last year.

Kelli
Kelli

First, I yelled the same line to the question What is your perfect date? Green beans 4 Evah! Second, Kevin wants me to tell you all he is sorry for being naughty and not commenting the last 2 weeks. He will try not to do it again. He also wants you to know he has mastered the trick Praise Hands. It’s hilarious. I throw my hands in the air and shout PRAISE and Kevin throws his paws in the air. Now to his comments—he thought it was very bad form for crazy Eddie Chris to act like such a chach in front of the Governor. No Bachelor gig for him. Lexi wants to know wtf is up with his pants. And his meltdown.

Leo is such a vanilla cone. He’s neither good nor bad but I guess he made Becca feel better. Lexi definitely likes Colton best. Kevin is sticking with one of the brunettes. By the way, I swear I’ve seen Colton in my gym in downtown Denver.

Norma
Norma

Kevin and Lexi 4Evah!!!!! Glad Kevin has decided to settle down and act right 🙂

Loving Jason and Garrett, in that order. I don’t know what it is about Colton, but he bugs. Glad Cray Cray and Lincoln went home.

OR gal
OR gal

“Leo is such a vanilla cone”. I’m pretty sure most viewers don’t know that he is in the adult entertainment business and I’m pretty sure Becca would not be ok with that.

Every season has to have a cray cray villain and I’m REALLY glad he is finally gone. Buh bye, don’t let the door hit you on the way out .

Jason really upped it this week. He seems like a really great guy. If he isn’t the one at the end, I hope he is picked for the next Bachelor.

Lara
Lara

So glad Kevin is out of the dog house. He may not have considered missing this show a “punishment” but good to be free!

Appreciate the reference to Miss Congeniality (only need a light jacket…). I love Sandra Bullock movies. 🙂

MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice

Welcome, Lexi, to the commentary!!! And good to have you back, Kevin!

Dee
Dee

Yeah, Kevin’s back!!! We missed his pithy commentary. And welcome to little Lexi too! 🙂

Old Christine
Old Christine

I could barely keep reading this recap, I was laughing so much. It is a classic and should be in the IHGB Hall of Fame. I love the line about ABC teaching geography as well as debauchery.
Thank you, Lincee!

Jennymoose
Jennymoose

Pop quiz: Name each state that borders Wyoming in 30 seconds or less.

Old Christine
Old Christine

I am going to pop quiz you, Jennymoose!

MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice

Fail

Karen
Karen

That was my favorite line! hahahaha!

Jen

I kept waiting for Crazy Eddie to show up outside her door holding a human head…or maybe he’s saving that for Paradise.

Loved the line about debauchery and geography! Thanks for the laughs!

Tara
Tara

Favorite line: In fact, I saw her look down at the holes in the knees of his jeans and I’m sure she questioned if he was so angry that he pulled the material out with his bare hands.
I was going to pick the goldfish one, but this one beat even that pure gem!
WTG, Lincee!

BeccaCali
BeccaCali

I was actually thinking he chewed his Jean’s with those crazy choppers.

Crystal Sorrell
Crystal Sorrell

Crazy Eddie: What are you saying?
Lincee: She’s saying YA BASIC! Bye bye bye, Chris!
BEST. LINE.

Liz
Liz

Has anyone else thought that Jason looks like Joey from 10 things I hate about you??

Gaby Laurent
Gaby Laurent

Yes!!! I think about that every time he is on the screen

Honey
Honey

Yes! And Garrett looks like a young Robert DeNiro.

MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice

Hmmm, yes!!!

Cassie
Cassie

Yes!!!!! I wanted to post that but couldn’t remember his name on the show or in real life!!!

Deebee

The group date was so embarrassingly bad. PINEAPPLE to the 10th degree! And what a sweaty mess Chris was — I’m sure he dropped a whole bunch of f-bombs in the rejection SUV.

Rolo Tomasi
Rolo Tomasi

Garrett didn’t bring a torch to the debate. I guess that’s the positive of the episode.

MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice

Seriously?

Babs
Babs

Great recap! I’m actually liking Becca as the Bachelorette, even though I would have made some different choices with the guys (never would have let grocery Joe go home the first night). She seems very strong and yet fun (I loved when she spelled out LOVE). Last season the girls carried the show and I feel Becca is pulling her weight on this season. Jason really turned out to be a dark horse, he was never even on my radar until the last couple of shows. I hope he and Blake are there at the end!

Tim
Tim

I love that she won’t put up with the games and will send guys packing fast. And I swear ABC has it in the contract that they can force the Bachelor/ette to keep the crazy self absorbed chatch/chatchette for the first six weeks. You see them go down to the person you hate while smiling at each rose given lout, until they get to the person we all hate and look down a the floor before calling out the person last. Can’t be a coincidence.

And I’m happy she has a Corgi! We have two and they are the best, cutest dogs ever. #IdidntChooseCorgiLife;CorgiLifeChooseMe!

Kirsten

I was trying to figure out what bothers me about Colton. Because I find him dashing, he doesn’t seem like a douche, but he ALSO doesn’t seem into Becca. (Who doesn’t seem to be keeping him around for his conversational skills, if ya feel me…) I decided this week it’s because he’s okay with her, but he wants to be the next Bachelor. So he doesn’t REALLY care if it works out.

Leo is the most underrated MAN in the house, but also the least attractive. I honestly think whoever picks this dude will be happy forever. And also know that they are, for sure, hot. Because he’ll keep saying it.

I finally could tell the difference between Conner and less hot Conner (aka: Blake) this week! Just in time to lose Conner, so now I don’t NEED to tell them apart.

I think she’d be dumb not to choose Garrett or Jason.

Also, please for the love of all that’s holy, don’t let Colton choose to lose his v-card on an overnight date on this show. I mean…please. Can you imagine the humiliation of that? It reminds me of how after my wedding night (which I think everyone knew was my husband’s and my first time together), we ran into this whole family and their teenagers in the lobby of our hotel. MOST AWKWARD HELLO EVER.

Sorry for the long comment. I have a lot of feelings.

Abby
Abby

That’s a good observation about Colton. I couldn’t quite pin it, either…I don’t particularly dislike him, but I don’t actively like him. You’re right…he might be more into securing the Bach spot than Becca.

Cassie
Cassie

Colton is totally on for publicity. I’m praying he’s NOT the next Bachelor. He’s one of those guys that plays it real smooth and calculated because he has an agenda. There is absolutely nothing honest or transparent about him. I said this a couple of weeks ago – How on earth did he even meet Tia when they live in completely different parts of the country? My guess – he’s been sniffing around the franchise leftovers, gunning to be on the show. He wasn’t in the NFL long enough to get his 15 minutes of fame, so now he’s trying to get it on reality tv. Yuck.

baseballmama
baseballmama

Something about Chris. is he an actor hired to play the scary guy or is he really that creepy? He reminded me of the husband in Sleeping with the Enemy. something really off with him, I hope Becca always has people around. Colton is so stinking cute I hope she doesn’t pick him where he can be the bachelor. I thought Garret was the front runner until this episode but the whole show was off, I think because of the guy drama. Now Jason looks more like the guy.