Bachelorette MTA Recap: Kenny Tells All

Bachelorette Rachel Men Tell All Recap

I have written dozens of Men Tell All recaps (or Women Tell All) on this website. Literally dozens. And each season, the producers follow the same old format which causes me to dread the special episode. Watch any “after show” recap and I guarantee you’ll witness the following:

  • Our Host Chris Harrison looks goooooooood.
  • The person sitting on the end always receives the loudest applause.
  • The annoying person is still annoying.
  • Half of the cast members in the bleachers look physically different from when they were on the show.
  • At least one original shirt design worn by a member of the audience will make you laugh.
  • Someone will cry.
  • Another person does not own up to what they did wrong, even though there is video evidence which proves they are a liar.
  • Harrison pokes the bear.
  • The villain tries to redeem himself/herself.
  • Each interview is preceded by b-roll footage of his or her journey to find love.
  • One person in the back row, the one you don’t recognize, will talk for five minutes and you’ll ask your neighbor, “Who’s that?”
  • Wardrobe choices are questionable at best.
  • Our Host reveals some sort of surprise.
  • The season’s catchphrase peppers conversation.
  • The blooper reel is by far the best part of the show.

Because I’m such a generous recapper, I’ve taken the liberty of picking through 120-minutes of footage in order to provide you, my lovely readers, with specific examples of these gems. This proves how much I love each and every one of you.

Top 12 Moments from Rachel’s Men Tell All — Season 12

Our Host Chris Harrison’s Appearance
I’m going to be completely honest with you. Harrison looks ah-mazing. The man knows how to wear blue, that’s for sure. His suit is dapper. The hair is immaculate. Those eyes transport me to space and back. And he smells of sturdy oak, single-malt whiskey, and power.

ADDED BONUS

In an unprecedented move (which totally blows my theory that all of these shows are the exact same cookie-cutter format), Harrison introduces the Most Memorable Moments in Men Tell All History! Do you remember…

  • The guy who promises to guard and protect Ali’s heart (by getting a tattoo) sings to her at MTA. It is just as painful the second time around.
  • Emily goes all West Virginia hood rat on Kalon by calling his BS on national television. She receives a standing ovation.
  • JJ explains that spending four hours in a hot tub with another dude is completely normal.
  • Harrison reads the results of the lie detector test to Andi’s suitors, and we learn that Marcus was not honest about sleeping with less than twenty women.
  • We revisit all the mean Tweets Kaitlyn received during her stint as bachelorette.
  • The Chad hates on JoJo’s two remaining beaus — Jordan and Robby.
  • JP and Ashley learn they are having a boy!

Mr. Congeniality
Dean receives the loudest applause BY FAR. His hair also looks like Corny Collins. Dean makes sure that we know that he provided ABC producers with his father’s number. Paramroop easily could have refused the cameras, but he didn’t. At the end of the day, Dean feels like there was some healing and thanks the show for providing a way for him to sort through all the feels as he lays horizontally on the floor in the middle of a bunch of pillows with a girl he just decided he wants to marry who dumps him 24-hours later.

Whaa-Bye
Whaaboom is still as annoying as he was back in the day. And Blake still has issues with him not being on the show for the right reasons (right reasons).

Let’s Roll the Tape
DeMario has the audacity to suggest that he didn’t know the girl who showed up on his basketball date, therefore, ruining his chance to find love with Rachel. He stands by this delusion because there are no pictures of them together. Who cares that her number is in his phone? He has a million girls’ numbers in his phone, excluding Britney Spears. DeMario wants everyone to look at the “ocular facts.” Harrison rolls his eyes. I think DeMario admitting that he dated the girl on V-I-D-E-O trumps any ocular fact DeMario may present.

Vote For Adam Jr.
Best audience member t-shirt ever.

Who’s That Guy?
His name is Jamey and I’m not sure if he was actually on the show, but he had a lot to say about “the worst” people in the cast. To which Dean responds, “He’s no Whaaboom or Lee. Cut him a break.”

Five Dollar Word Makes a Comeback
Well hello there “disingenuous!” I’ve missed you!

Bleacher Creatures
None of the men wore any color. Father Russia’s suit was elaborate. Dean’s socks were polka-dot, which matched the pocket square neatly tucked into his camouflage jacket. Will sported some vintage Air Jordans with his debonair suit and Josiah had the prettiest cranberry-colored pants. There were twelve bow ties. And Matt the Penguin grew a head of hair during the break!

Kenny Takes the Mic
Kenny jokes with the audience about the Lee situation: “I know you were tired of watching it. I was tired of living it.” Then the producers dedicate half of the show to Kenny leaning into Lee for not admitting that he is a racist because he doesn’t have a clue that he’s a racist.

Cry Baby
Kenny cries at this thoughtful gesture. Later on, Freddy P. cries when he confesses to Rachel that he thought the fact that he knew her from days of yore would bring her comfort instead of icky feelings. The cast rallies around Freddy P. with a standing ovation and brotherly hugs. I was so, so confused. So was Rachel.

Fuel to the Fire
Harrison whips out a few scathing Tweets Lee wrote a year ago and all hell breaks loose while Lee is on the hot seat. Lee tells the cast that he wasn’t a good friend and is disappointed in the way he handled himself on the show. He is physically shaking when Anthony encourages him to “just say what you’re sorry for.” Then he sort of finally admits that yes, he may be a racist, and apologizes to the cast and Rachel. He wants to learn and to do better in the future. From the looks on their faces, many do not believe that Lee’s words are genuine.

Happiest Place on Earth
While in the hot seat, Harrison surprises Kenny with a special guest — his daughter. She looks as cute as can be in pale pink. She praises her dad for “getting eighth place” and beams when Our Host invites them to go to Disneyland. Best day ever!

BLOOPERS!

Season 22 of The Bachelor
I learned yesterday that ABC isn’t going to choose the next bachelor until AFTER Paradise. Do you think they are doing this because of Dean? Or someone else in Paradise who tested well with audiences like Nick? This is intriguing…

Next week, we get to see the rest of Peter’s date, Bryan’s date, and the lucky guy to ask for Rachel’s hand in marriage. Who do you think it will be?

Photo By: ABC.com

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