Bachelorette Rachel Recap: The art of tonsil hockey

Bachelorette Rachel Premiere Recap: The art of tonsil hockey

Rachel is back, y’all, and she wants you to know that she’s sassy, classy, and ready to find love wearing a brand new weave. She’s sufficient in basketball, proficient in shouting, “OBJECTION YOUR HONOR,” and so excited about being the bachelorette that she can’t help but twirl on sidewalks and beaches.

Put this girl in a deep red, fluffy dress for promo shoots and she’s unstoppable. Give her the opportunity to travel with her dog to California and she’s uncontainable. Have her drive around Beverly Hills spouting Legally Blonde references and she’s adorable.

But that doesn’t stop the nerves. This particular emotion is par for the course. Feeling the need to puke the majority of the day is what she signed up for! And the best way Rachel knows how to combat these bouts with anxiety is to arrange an all-liquid brunch with a few besties from her season.

Corinne, Raven, Mother Russia, Jasmine, Sholphin, and those two who looked exactly like each other are super pumped to sip champagne and dish about Rachel’s amazing journey to find love. Corinne instructs our bachelorette to TAKE CONTROL. I’m sure she handed her a can of whipped cream off camera. The Sholphin asks her to not judge a book by its cover, or a potential suitor by the polyester costume he might be wearing. Noted. Raven makes her promise she will allow herself to fall and Rachel nods, thankful her squad is totally supportive. They clink their flutes in a salute to Rachel’s dudes and Nick’s bad judgement. Cheers to season 13!

That night, the mansion driveway is sprayed with a fresh coat of former contestants’ tears. Our Host Chris Harrison greets Rachel by the fountain. It’s a shame he outshines our bachelorette. I’m sure he didn’t mean to. You can help projecting dignity and swagger when you’re that good looking. It’s a blessing and curse.

But Rachel holds her own. Her dress is absolutely gorgeous. It’s as if someone decoupaged a silvery moon and then lighted dusted it with glitter. When the first limo pulls up, the adjectives “incredible,” and “elegant” and “beautiful” are uttered.

“Dope” even made an appearance. Twice. I guess it’s is making a comeback. Let’s all embrace this nostalgic catchphrase instead of adopting the one that was forced down our throats nine times in 120 minutes. Heck, I’ll even pick up where Gretchen Wieners left off and start a campaign to make fetch happen. Anything but this whaboom business.

Speaking of something that is dopely fetch, here’s a lineup of this season’s potential husbands, whack jobs, and forgettable faces who we won’t see again until After the Final Rose:

SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. However, if you or someone you support on GoFundMe who happens to personally know, sort of know, is friends with the Starbucks barista who is obsessed with Poldark and looks exactly like one of the contestants on the show…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.

Adam
27
Real Estate Agent
Dallas, TX

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
I don’t have any notes written down about what Adam wore on night one. That’s probably because my focus was immediately drawn to the creepy doll he toted around all the livelong day. Y’all, this thing was straight up unsettling, and not because he called his little buddy Adam Jr. We’re talking distant relative of Chucky. Plus, it had bendable limbs that could be shaped to hold glasses of alcohol or lounge in seductive poses. I found it odd that Adam criticized others for overstepping the imaginary line between making Rachel laugh and being obnoxious. Dude. Adam Jr. is completely reprehensible.
STATUS: Rose

Adam Jr.
Unknown
Doll
Lives with Adam

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
According to Josiah, everyone is here for love, including AJ. I’m not so sure. I understand that he is fluent in French, and gives off this sinister vibe, but he’s awfully quiet. You know what they say about quiet people — no one plans murders out loud. I’m with Kenny. If AJ shows up at the end of my bed one night holding Harrison’s champagne flute clinking butter knife, I’m throwing him into the outdoor fire pit. No questions asked.
STATUS: No rose

Alex
28
Information System Supervisor
Grosse Pointe Park, MI

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Alex wants you to know that meatheads can be nerds, too. Just because he can lift very heavy dumbbells, doesn’t mean he can’t spend his time coding the latest app that is going to change millennials’ lives forever. I was intrigued by Alex’s devotion to the sciences and even halfway laughed when he danced with a vacuum out of the limo. The novelty wore off when he continued to dance with that same vacuum all night long. It’s very important not to suck right now, yet the apparatus he holds can’t help but placing him directly in that category. Put down the attachments and step away from the Bissell, Alex.
STATUS: Rose

Anthony
26
Education Software Manager
Chicago, IL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Anthony didn’t get much screen time, but he is in several of the “scenes from this season” shots. Could he be the Mr. Clean Rachel’s been waiting for?
STATUS: Rose

Blake E.
31
Aspiring Drummer
Marina del Rey, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Blake E. is the one who talked about his junk for his entire pre-package interview. We had to sit through b-roll of this guy training a lady in the gym before watching him stretch his legs on a makeshift ballerina barre while he discussed his sexual resume. So basically, he’s putting Rachel on his to-do list. And what better way to woo a woman than to provide a wicked backbeat to a marching band? Blake E. may be a professional trainer from 10:00 to 11:00 at his neighborhood Crossfit, but he’s an aspiring drummer the rest of the day. It all makes sense. Blake E. likes to bang things.
STATUS: Rose

Blake K.
29
U.S. Marine Veteran
San Francisco, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Blake K.’s grandparents dated a couple of months and just celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary! Sadly, Blake K. will not accomplish that same milestone with Rachel.
STATUS: No rose

Brady
29
Male Model
Miami, FL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
When Brady rolled up with a block of ice and an axe (to break the ice), I thought he was going to do a Kristoff bit from the opening number of Frozen. When Brady walked into the roomful of testosterone-filled guys (and Adam Jr.), they all yelled, “THOR!” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the difference between an X and a Y chromosome.
STATUS: Rose

Bryan
37
Chiropractor
Miami, FL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
BECAUSE HE IS HOT. And he speaks Spanish. He asks Rachel if she’s ever dated a Colombian guy, and when she answers that she hasn’t, he grins at her and says, “You’re in trouble.” Bryan doesn’t need the percussion section of Agoura Hills High School, a miniature glacier, household appliances, or the vacant stare of a potentially murderous moppet. He doesn’t even wear a tie! All this old man needs is to let his natural charm ooze all over Rachel as he tells her he wants to settle down with someone who is serious.

Rachel admits that their initial meeting sends all sorts of sparks up and down her spine. That’s so weird. The same thing happened to me! Inside, Bryan finds Rachel and pulls her away to the front of the mansion, knowing that being as far away from all the booze is the best chance he has for a private audience with Rachel that shouldn’t be interrupted. He pleads his case once more to our bachelorette and she admits that she feels something unexplainable.

I’ll tell you what she feels — HIS TONGUE ALL UP IN HER MOUTH.

Bachelorette Rachel

I apologize for that graphic GIF, but I needed you to understand the gravity of this situation. My man Bryan is aggressive. I would have overlooked his incessant need to swallow Rachel’s tonsils during this tryst, but he did it AGAIN when she gave him the first impression rose. Let’s all take a moment to succumb to the reality that this is how Bryan kisses. The question is, will I let it tarnish the luster of his essence? The verdict is still out.
STATUS: First impression rose

Bryce
30
Firefighter
Orlando, FL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Bryce literally swept Rachel off her feet. Other than that, I’ve got nothing.
STATUS: Rose

Dean
26
Startup Recruiter
Venice, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
We first met Dean during After the Final Rose when he told Rachel that he wants to go black so he can never go back. Bless it. Dean also is in the High Hair Club and has trouble not smiling all the time. He gives Rachel some sort of line about how he moved to California to be near the beach. Lo and behold, there’s a bucket full of sand and all sorts of shovels right there on the back porch. Nothing says “I want to get to know you better” like forcing a woman in a gorgeous ball gown and a fresh manicure to fight with grains of sand under her fingernails for the rest of the night. Also, way to go ABC Intern with the makeshift sand box! Truth: Is that really your cat’s litter box? You can be honest with me.
STATUS: Rose

DeMario
30
Executive Recruiter
Century City, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
DeMario is another one we met on After the Final Rose. He loves NSYNC over Backstreet Boys (#holla) and his confidence is palpable. In fact, DeMario calls Rachel his wife, promising that the show will be over in twenty minutes. The good news is that all the dudes are invited to their wedding. He’ll save them third row seats. He has a presence, but will that annoy the other guys? Or is he the fun-loving, polka-dot-sock-wearing jovial one all the guys will end up bro-ing out with in Paradise? Additionally, will he be besties with Josiah? Or are their personalities too similar to entrust each other with BeFri necklaces?
STATUS: Rose

Diggy
31
Senior Inventory Analyst
Chicago, IL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
He was one of several who wore glasses. (They were tortoise shell frames — discuss.) Diggy was also one of several suitors who rocked a bow tie. Even though he had a pre-taped introduction package, this guy didn’t make an impression on me. But his name certainly did. How many of you sang, “Do the Diggy if you…want to, cause then I can see if you want to. Just do the Diggy-Diggy if you…want to…” Was that just me?
STATUS: Rose

Eric
29
Personal Trainer
Los Angeles, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Sweet Eric’s beige blazer didn’t fit him through the shoulders, but he was a doll. And not in an AJ sort of way. Dancing is his jam, as it is Rachel’s. I see him being a dark horse.
STATUS: Rose

Fred
27
Executive Assistant
Dallas, TX

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
He’s Carlton Banks who went to school with Rachel back in the day. Poor, poor Freddy. Busting out a yearbook is always a calculated risk, but to remind the bachelorette that she was in eighth grade when you were in the third grade does not do you any favors. SHE WAS YOUR CAMP COUNSELOR, FREDERICK. YOU WERE 8-YEARS-OLD WHEN SHE WAS 14. I believe Fred’s rose is a producer pick. You know Rachel would have switched his rose out and given it to AJ had she not been contractually obligated to take him. Or maybe her mama goes to church with his mama and Rachel had to be nice because the mamas are in the same Sunday school class.
STATUS: Rose

Grant
29
Emergency Medicine Physician
New York, NY

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Grant showed up in an ambulance because he heard that there was an emergency. “Apparently there’s a woman here who is bored to death?” Solid line, Grant. Regrettably, we never heard from him again.
STATUS: No Rose

Ignacio “Iggy”
30
Consulting Firm CEO
Chicago, IL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Iggy wore boat shoes with no socks. He’s the official informer of the group. Translation?
Iggy buuuuuuggggsss.
STATUS: Rose

Jack Stone
32
Attorney
Dallas, TX

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Who could forget Jack Stone or Jack Stone’s very white teeth? Jack Stone is flying way below the radar right now, but I have high hopes for Jack Stone. Once again, I fear that Jack Stone has too much in common with Rachel. They are both from Dallas, both attorneys, and they both have big dogs. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Jack Stone drinks Jack Daniels and keeps us guessing.
STATUS: Rose

Jamey
32
Sales Account Executive
Santa Monica, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Jamey is the one who was going to be really, really upset if the Penguin suit trumps his super fly two-thousand dollar suit. Jamey also said something about this face being symmetrical. That’s really cute, but has he seen Bryan’s face walking around? Talk about symmetrical…
STATUS: Rose

Jedidiah
35
ER Physician
Augusta, GA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
You called Jed the vest guy. He was also nice enough to grab a down comforter from one of the beds upstairs when Rachel, I assume, complained about being cold. This was before she shimmied into her white furry shrug made of bunnies.
STATUS: No rose

Jonathan
31
Tickle Monster
Smyrna Beach, FL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Not only did he tickle Rachel during his icebreaker, but he tickled another dude inside the house. Uncool, Elmo. Uncool.
STATUS: Rose

Josiah
28
Prosecuting Attorney
Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Josiah is one we met during After the Final Rose. He had two tickets to Vegas so they could go ahead and elope. What we didn’t know about Josiah was his touching backstory. His brother died when he was young, Josiah fell in with the wrong crowd, and a judge told him to straighten up because he wasn’t a thug. Today, Josiah is working in that same state attorney’s office. You can tell he has a flair for the dramatic, but his heart is in the right spot. He flirts with Rachel, dropping legal puns left and right. (I laughed at “See you later, litigator.”)

I truly think he wants everything to be copacetic. He’s a nice guy who talks a little too much. I’m going to blame that on nerves. He also rises to the ocassion when DeMario is around. But I think he is genuinely a fun-loving guy. He had countless one-liners all night long, hilarious facial expressions, and enough wit to last us the entire season. I like him. I also think he looks like a grown-up version of Bud from The Cosby Show.
STATUS: Rose

Kenny
35
Professional Wrestler
Las Vegas, NV

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Pretty Boy Pitbull Kenny King wants you to know that he is more than a wrestler. He’s a father. He’s confident Rachel will fit into his family (easy there Pitbull). I like Kenny, too because he thinks Rachel is dope and he’s going to save us all from one of AJ’s killing sprees.
STATUS: Rose

Kyle
26
Marketing Consultant
Los Angeles, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
You don’t.
STATUS: No rose

Lee
30
Singer/Songwriter
Nashville, TN

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Lee walked out of the limo with a guitar in his hands and song in his heart. That’s the last we saw of him the entire night. Fast forward to the scenes from this season and we learn that Lee is our resident villain. Dare I say Lee is He Who Must Not Be Named Volume 2?
STATUS: Rose

Lucas
30
“Whaboom”
Santa Monica, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Lucas’ “whaboom” is permanently ingrained in your brain. I don’t know what to think about this stunt. I assume he’s trying to grass roots his catch phrase. Surprise — it backfired. No one knows what in the world he’s saying since his “whaboom” wind-up is so loud and scary and unnecessary. According to the ABC profile, it’s “whaboom,” but Lucas’ self-serving tank advertises a hashtag that is spelled “whaaaboom.” Moreover, half the guys complain to the camera about the “whabam” guy or the “whyboom” moron. This is terrible branding. PS: Nobody cares.

On a side note, I’d like to ask the ABC Producers to please add an addendum to the ABC Intern’s contract that legally states he has to search and destroy any bullhorn that may infiltrate the compound.

On another side note, my friend Susan says that Whaboom looks like a Jonas Brother who wasn’t allowed to be in the group. I agree.

Within minutes, all of the other guys are over Whaboom. Here’s proof:
Peter: “All the guys, with the exception of one, are cool.”
Drummer Boy: “He’s the guy at the family reunion who pinches your nipples.”
Lincee: “What kind of family reunion are you going to, Ringo?”
Grant: “In my professional medical opinion, I would order a psych consult on him.”
Josiah: “Did you guys do a drug test?”
Kenny: “If she chooses Whaboom, all of us need to reevaluate what we think is fly.”
STATUS: Rose

Matthew “Matt”
32
Construction Sales Rep
Meriden, CT

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Matt is the penguin. He plans on mating for life. Also, he’s both black and white in his costume, so she gets the best of both worlds.
STATUS: Rose

Michael
26
Former Professional Basketball Player
Chicago, IL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
I have no recollection of this guy is, but I have written by his name, “The blacker the brownie, the sweeter the taste.” Fair enough.
STATUS: Rose

Milton
31
Hotel Recreation Supervisor
North Bay Village, FL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Bless Milton’s heart. Rachel ditches the sharp-dressed man because he’s a growler. Milton is also an avid curser who was bleeped for a solid ten seconds during his freestyle rap. Bless it, again. Milton is so sad that you aren’t going to get to see him in any of his dope outfits this season. I’m gonna give him one last bless it for good measure. Bye, Milton.
STATUS: No rose

Mohit
26
Product Manager
Pacifica, CA

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Oh Mohit. Your family is so cute and I think it is cool that you Bollywood dance in your spare time. I just wish you could have paced yourself a little better. You clearly love the sauce and that fourth bottle of hooch landed you in the rejection SUV. You had potential! Tighten up, next time.
STATUS: No rose

Peter
31
Business Owner
Madison, WI

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Peter is a tall, tall drink of water who wants to put Wisconsin back on the map as a state where gentlemen reside. (Take that, Nick!) His subtle plaid blazer is about as fabulous as his socks. Peter thinks he and Rachel are MFEO because they both have spaces between their two front teeth. Adorable. Who would have thought that his one road block would have been offering her CHOCOLATE of all things? Rachel refuses the sinful treat like a weirdo, but she doesn’t refuse Peter.
STATUS: Rose

Robert “Rob”
30
Law Student
HOUSTON

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Robert Rob forgot to comb his hair.
STATUS: No rose

Will
28
Sales Manager
Miami, FL

Bachelorette Rachel

Why you remember him:
Will pulls the Urkel act right out of the limo, trips, nasally executes the infamous line, “Did I do that?”, heads back into the limo to change into normal Will clothes. The Penguin should have taken a note from him.
STATUS: Rose

Of the five suitors who hit the road at dawn, many were upset that Whaboom and the Penguin beat them out. But they will live to see another day and another relationship status. Ten bucks Adam Jr. is already hitting up producers for Ghost Mary’s number.

It’s time to dish! Who are you favorites for Bachelorette Rachel? Did Bryan deserve the final rose? Will Josiah and DeMario duke it out or room together in Paradise? Would you allow Elmo to tickle you if given the chance? Sound off in the comments section!

PS: What’s up with all the high hair?

Photo By: ABC.com

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Jen
Jen

DeMario was the one with the tickets to Vegas on After the Final Rose not Josiah.

dara rb
dara rb

Whew…the Columbian had it going on! I hate that she let the cute US Marine (Blake?) go. Josiah for the next bachelor if he does not go all the way lol.

Sara P
Sara P

I agree about Blake K – he was one of my favorites. But it was also obvious that there was nothing between him and Rachel at all, so it’s just as well that a great guy didn’t get dragged along unnecessarily. Bryan is hot hot hot but my friend and I are thinking Josiah at the end. We will see.

Deebee

I really like the wrestler and his comments about Whaboom were hilarious. The Columbian is hot and smooth but his eating Rachel’s face (no matter how much she liked it!) was a bit too much, haha. The part where A.J. Jr. was commenting in french was quite funny.

KJM
Deebee

Too funny!

MelissaH
MelissaH

Me, too! I immediately thought of Henri! 🙂

Lee
Lee

Does anyone else think Jack Stone looks like Damn Daniel from Jojo’s season and BIP?

Nikki
Nikki

Yes! Every time I saw him I thought that.

Rosa
Rosa

I noticed that too. His head always seemed to be at a weird angle!

Rachel
Rachel

That head tilt, I was thinking what in the world will Lincee say about Jack Stone? I kept yelling at the tv, “stop looking like that, JACK STONE!” When you have little eyes like that you can’t tilt your head down, you look like a cartoon villain.

I cannot say just “Jack” when talking about that guy. He is just Jack Stone. I’m glad it appears the same with you. Lol

Ada
Ada

He does a little, but he also looks like Jack Shephard from Lost (Matthew Fox)

Alexi
Alexi

My favorites so far are Peter and Josiah. She and Bryan clearly have chemistry but the tongue kissing seemed way crazy!! It was 0-60 in no time at all.

I loved that Rachel described herself as sweet and sour. She comes across as very real and not about to suffer any fools.

Whaboom guy made me very uncomfortable. And he is already trying to sell t-shirts on instagram!

AJ was so odd! But I did laugh at the French voice over.

So far I love Rachel as bachelorette! Really hoping she finds a guy on her level.

Also – Anyone else think Jack Stone looks like a young Bryan Cranston?

ricksterb
ricksterb

Hope on, my friend. I fear that the ABC intern has other (evil?) plans!

tracee
tracee

I agree Lincee….She’s Old School Bachelor when they were charming and polite to all the contestants. Ben too…..Ben’s the Best and now Rachel

Kelli
Kelli

How did Elmo get a rose? And the WhaaaaaBoom (Bam, whatever) guy? When I saw Mohit and his hobby of Bollywood dancing in the b-roll, I thought that could be interesting. Too bad he’s a lush.

Ann
Ann

At dinner tonight, my DIL said she heard that the tickle monster is actually a pediatric surgeon and the tickle monster is a silly thing he does with his young patients to make them less frightened. If that’s true, he might want to let that be known pretty soon, as that puts him in an entirely different light!

Suzy
Suzy

Is anyone clear on why he goes by “Jack Stone” is that his first and last name? First and middle name? Promoting his law office?

Does Eric remind anyone else of Dule Hill?

Admittedly…I don’t generally watch video tape of myself kissing, but…was that normal?

Waboom has to go next week right? I can’t watch that.

Sloan
Sloan

YES! All I could see was Dule Hill whenever Eric was onscreen! I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Shannon
Shannon

Yes! My daughter mentioned that! We love Dule Hill!

NicoleinWI
NicoleinWI

Clearly the Whaboom guy is a producer pick. I mean he literally had no redeeming qualities.

The hair was bugging me last night. So, so bad.

I keep singing No Diggity No Doubt. Not quite the same, but yet it is what pops in my brain.

Go Peter!

Lily
Lily

Favorite line: “Bryan doesn’t need the percussion section of Agoura Hills High School, a miniature glacier, household appliances, or the vacant stare of a potentially murderous moppet. He doesn’t even wear a tie!”

I also liked: Drummer Boy: “He’s the guy at the family reunion who pinches your nipples.”
Lincee: “What kind of family reunion are you going to, Ringo?”

Have been reading your recaps for years. Always entertaining. Thanks!

Gondawatchsummore
Gondawatchsummore

Agree with your favorite line too

Oregon gal
Oregon gal

Wahboom=whatever. We are all really over you. Felt sorry for Rachael that the producers made her keep him. Jack Stone looked like a poser. Fred has to be at least 45,. Dean is waaayyyy too pretty and can’t possibly be on this show for the right reasons (right reasons). And did anyone else notice how many side comments Peter made that got air time?

Rachael seems really nice and normal. I hope she doesn’t get hurt in the end and finds someone she can at least explore a relationship with.

Great job, as always, Lincee!

Angela
Angela

I’ve really grown to HATE the first night of the Bachelor/Bachelorette :/ The gimmicks have gotten totally out of control and are just stupid. I wish they’d make the guys just show up in the limo, wearing normal clothes without all the props and stupidity… Ugh.

Pat
Pat

Agree!

votemom
votemom

i thot rob with the glasses was cute. too bad he went home. also: i would be concerned about brain damage (aka shaken baby syndrome) with lucas. yikes.

DeeDee
DeeDee

I was thinking that same thing watching Whaboom guy! Brain damage city. Yikes, indeed!!

JustMe!
JustMe!

Votemom: the reason shaken baby is so lethal is because the infant’s brains are not yet big enough to fit in their skull, so when they are shaken, their brain bounces back and forth, hits the walls of the skull, and damages it. But I agree with your assessment of WhamBoy … only I don’t think he has a brain to begin with, so I’m not sure it can even get damaged …

Bri
Bri

Lots of lines to love! Some favs: “the mansion driveway is sprayed with a fresh coat of former contestants’ tears”. I totally agree about Gretchen Wieners, and loved how you worked “dopely fetch” into things! But seriously, Whaaaboom boy has got to go!

Also liked, “It all makes sense. Blake E. likes to bang things.” Sigh. Get him off my tv screen!!!

Rachel’s “white furry shrug made of bunnies” – Lincee, how do you come up with these gems? You have one brilliant and creative mind…

And holy cow – I’d completely forgotten about Bud from the Cosby show! Josiah does look like him!

Thank you for my Tuesday comic relief (and reason to let my instant gratification monkey continue to help me procrastinate at work! If you go to YouTube and search instant gratification monkey, you’ll find an awesome TEDtalk on procrastination with Tim Urban – go check it out my fellow procrastinators!) 🙂

BA B
BA B

Thanks Lincee!!! Love your recaps!!

Re: Diggy, I just kept singing “Gettin’ diggy with it” instead of jiggy with it. I couldn’t help it.

Agree Fred was a producer pick, as was Waboom. Waboom wasn’t really in the clips from future episodes, so here’s hoping he doesn’t stay around very long.

I’m into Wrestler Kenny and Peter from WI. I was into Bryan until he ate her face.

Favorite lines:
When Brady rolled up with a block of ice and an axe (to break the ice), I thought he was going to do a Kristoff bit from the opening number of Frozen. When Brady walked into the roomful of testosterone-filled guys (and Adam Jr.), they all yelled, “THOR!” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the difference between an X and a Y chromosome.

Bryan doesn’t need the percussion section of Agoura Hills High School, a miniature glacier, household appliances, or the vacant stare of a potentially murderous moppet.

He was also nice enough to grab a down comforter from one of the beds upstairs when Rachel, I assume, complained about being cold. This was before she shimmied into her white furry shrug made of bunnies.

I like Kenny, too because he thinks Rachel is dope and he’s going to save us all from one of AJ’s killing sprees.

Drummer Boy: “He’s the guy at the family reunion who pinches your nipples.”
Lincee: “What kind of family reunion are you going to, Ringo?”

Fancy
Fancy

” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the difference between an X and a Y chromosome” = fav line. Both laughing about it and feeling relieved, I also immediately thought Frozen. Good to know I am a typical female !
Loved the scene at the end where the guys were trying to rap. Milton was a potty mouth but he knew how to put it down. Some of the other guys, not so much…
Most ako taco scene was the mouth eating from Bryan. You suppose does chiropractic adjustments to his own jaw so it opens extra wide. Not attractive.

islandchic
islandchic

” You suppose does chiropractic adjustments to his own jaw so it opens extra wide. Not attractive.” Best. Line. EVER!!!! I almost spit out my tea and LOL in my cubicle