Bachelorette Recap Part 2 Finale: Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!

Hola my reality show loving friends. It is I…Juan Pablo.

The rumors are true. I will be your next bachelor! I know you were anxious when mi amigo Chris Harrison teased the news. Most of you were nervous that Drew would be chosen, but quickly switched gears when Our Host described the fortunate soul as charismatic. You crossed your fingers, hoping mi compadre Shirtless Zak wouldn’t be the one in the footage standing on the beach. And then you saw the athletic shorts and became hopeful. Hopeful that when the camera finished panning up my body there would be a Venezuelan stallion staring off into the horizon.

You were right mi corazon. Your squealing reminded me of the time I spent running in Pamplona. Gracias for your love and support. I will do my best to make you and Camila proud.

Odio las judías verdes,
Juan Pablo

Juan Pablo

Part of me thought about stopping the recap there, but I guess it’s my bloggess duty to bring you the nitty gritty that came with the three hour part two season finale. There were a few moments that I literally stood up, sat down and then stood up again. I screamed twice. And I was COMPLETELY wrong about the ending . Allow me to share some entertaining nuggets that were tucked away between random studio audience polling and former contestant interviews:

Stick a Fork in Her
Part 2 of the finale picks up where we left Des last week — devastated that Brooks is just not that into her. She roamed around in her cabana wearing a peach tie-dyed caftan that the wardrobe department frowned upon. Des refused to wallow in her string bikini for the cameras, so they compromised by making her wear a turquoise statement necklace during her interview with Chris Harrison. “I just wanna go hooooome,” she laments into a ball of Kleenex. Sorry Des, you’re contractually obligated to go on at least one fancy date. Buck up kid.

It’s Not You Drew
Des chooses her favorite Pocahontas belly shirt and harem pants to ride horses with Drew. They reach an enchanting part of the beach for their picnic. Before Drew can pour the wine, Des’ face is scrunched up and tears are flowing as she quickly chokes out the fact that she isn’t in love with him, even though he is so pretty, and sweet, and did she mention pretty? Dumbfounded, Drew insists that she stop apologizing and thanks her for being honest before he dismisses himself to process what just happened while on his horse as it meanders back up to the rejection limo. I don’t know if I should feel more sorry for him or the ABC intern who clearly worked hard on constructing that lean-to made from palm fronds.

I Can See Clearly Now That Brooks is Gone
To everyone’s surprise, Des decides to not only go on her fantasy catamaran date with Chris, but she also introduces him to her parents, her brother Nate and his parole officer. Within minutes, Des’ Dad has given him permission to marry his daughter and even Nate has approved of her choice. Of course, Nate brings up Brooks and asks if she’s over the devastation. Instead of boldly claiming, “YES,” she cries. I see the flag. And it is red. Des insists that because of Brooks’ decision to leave, she now sees how much love she has for Chris and is willing to go to the finish line with him, even though he doesn’t get that metaphor because that was her secret love language with Brooks — the guy she REALLY wants to marry.

With this Ring
Chris rocks the dark suit and a five o’clock shadow as he makes his way to the proposal pedestal, twirling the Neil Lane ring on his index finger. He’s ready to spend the rest of his life with Des and tells her so in so many words. Just as he’s about to get down on one knee, she stops him. “I KNEW IT!” I scream, high fiving the air. My guess is that Des couldn’t pick anyone because she is so COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH BROOKS. Instead, she “comes clean” with Chris and tells him that she was blindsided by her feelings for Brooks, but once he was gone, she could see what was right in front of her.

Right. Brooks is gone. Drew was dumped. Chris is left standing. It’s just simple math, really.

Chris begins to smile as she tells him that other guy who always wears pink left five days ago and he’s the one for her and has always been. You know, since Brooks left. She finally allows him to get down on one knee and accepts his proposal. They kiss and live happily ever after, or until their three month contract expires.

The One That Got Away
Chris Harrison was quick to put Brooks and Des in the hot seat during “After the Final Rose” and I have to say, Des looked so very sad. There was longing in her eyes, along with tears, and she just didn’t seem over the moon in love with Chris. Kudos to Brooks for being kind enough to offer that it didn’t surprise him Des had chosen Chris.

When Chris took the hot seat, he embraced Des with a passionate kiss and exuded joy. Our Host asked him five separate ways if he was still confident in Des’ love for him, even after watching the show. He said he was, but the look on Des’ face was of. It seemed forced to me. She also looked like she was ready to hurl when he started reading her another poem, but that could have been merely circumstantial, because I actually did throw up a little in my mouth. But what do I know? I’m never right about these things.

I do know that Des is ready. She’s got the ring. She’s got the guy that has promised to love her forever and she’s going to prove to herself that she’s committed to making this work by moving in with a guy she’s mathematically known for seven days. BRILLIANT IDEA! Good luck in Seattle kids!

What do y’all think? Is she really into Chris or is she still in love with Brooks? Do you think Chris Harrison is as excited about Juan Pablo as I am? Come back this week for the big “He Said/She Said” reveal…you’re questions were quite intriguing and entertaining!

It’s been a wild ride! I simply can’t wait for January. I’m ecstatic. And I’m all about the shame, not the fame,

Lincee

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Nelia
Nelia
6 years ago

I still think she is in love with Brooks. He seemed still interested in her too, in my opinion. Good luck to her and Chris though!

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

Oh Lincee…Even my kids were excited it was Juan Pablo…they walk around trying to talk like him but they just sound like Puss in boots from Shrek. Kinda funny! I personally am happy to see her with Chris, I have liked him from the beginning and I agree with Des that sometimes you have to go through a tough time to see that what you really need is right in front of you. Chris loves her so much and I think they had an amazing friendship. A marriage based on friendship and trust makes it a lot further than doubt… Read more »

LW
LW
6 years ago

My roommate and myself high fived….literally…when JP was shown on the beach. And I immediately quoted Anchorman (“Mi corazon es en fuego!”). And then Buzzfeed posted this this morning: http://www.buzzfeed.com/tkems/15-reasons-juan-pablo-is-the-best-bachelor-ever-csiz

Is it January yet?

amya
amya
6 years ago

I most appreciate what you said about the poem. I gagged. Coupled with the roses he saved…not a negative thing, just not my speed.

I also loved the Pocahontas shirt/harem pants remark! That was nearly the way I phrased it to a friend last night. 🙂

its been real. Can’t wait till January.

they do have time to squeeze in a wedding special or two before then.

K Lou
K Lou
6 years ago

When Chris H. announced that Brooks was there, Des looked like she was going to cry. Since her first choice just wasn’t that into her, she chose the next best thing. After 20 plus years of marriage, my stomach still does a little flip when I occassionally happen to think about a guy who I was waaaay more into that he was into me. I ended up marrying a man who I met much after the fact and lived “happily ever after.” Will Des always get a little emotional when thinking of Brooks? Yeah, probably because rejection hurts. Does it… Read more »

Reno
Reno
6 years ago

I wonder if the producers sweetened the pot, told Des “There’s an extra $50K for you if you pick someone.” I think she does like Chris, but how much???

loves waves
loves waves
6 years ago

While Brooks isn’t my idea of a fellow capable of dazzling a woman, he might certainly have had that effect on Des, and once he’d removed himself from the contest she had a chance to really see which guy was committed and in it for all the reasons she said she was looking for. While I don’t know if moving in together is the best decision, I think they have just as good a chance as anyone else in this show, principally because they were pretty honest with one another. I wish them good fortune. One word for Juan Pablo:… Read more »

Reno
Reno
6 years ago

Des did a very quick turnaround from devastated over Brooks to “in love” with Chris.

Delia
Delia
6 years ago

Lincee, loved the personal letter from Juan Pablo 😉 Did you get your application in already? I enjoyed this season, largely because Des was much more real than Bachelorettes past (ahem, Emily), and she chose nice guys. I have been rooting for Chris for a while, and have always seen chemistry between them. She also did use the term ‘love’ when referring to him several times, but I think the editing really emphasized her feelings for Brooks more. Personally, Brooks was too emo and ‘Reality Bites’ for me. Chris is a solid guy who has a major dorky side which… Read more »

Sharyn Kopf
Sharyn Kopf
6 years ago

Wow, this is interesting. I hardly watched any of this season, other than bits & pieces here & there, but I knew about – & saw quite a bit of – the Brooks breakup. So, I decided to watch the finale at my sister’s last night &, to be honest, I didn’t see any kind of spark between her & Brooks & I didn’t think she looked sad about him either. He sat as far away from her as possible & she just seemed like she was chatting with a friend. But they didn’t have a smidgen of chemistry, if… Read more »

Kelly
Kelly
6 years ago

I was sooo hoping that ABC wasn’t going to pull a fast one and have Brooks step out of the limo instead of Chris. I love Chris for all his dorkiness, like when he said, “Welcome!” when they met for their date or said “Hi!” when they were about to kiss. The fact he joked about it later that night shows he can laugh at himself. He’s really quite a hottie under all the goofiness and I have no doubts he is totally committed to her. Just hope Des is feeling the love too!

hollygolightly
hollygolightly
6 years ago

Because I was uncharacteristically out living my life for most of the Monday evenings the show aired, I did not have a horse or man in this race particularly; however, the second Drew responded to Des’ question about if he had been out enjoying the paradise island and he said he had not but was just hanging in his room, I was loudly advising her to dump his boring ass. The gals chosen for the Juan P. cycle could be interesting particularly since he is such a sensation in every SENSE of the word. Wonder if we’ll have some compelling… Read more »

Boston
Boston
6 years ago

I don’t know how anybody could watch what we watched last night and not be filled with emptiness, despair and hopelessness.
We watch this show because it’s usually fun. But not last night. But last night was an indictment of everything that is wrong with the show. Des and Chris just make me sad.

Julie
Julie
6 years ago

I cannot WAIT for Juan Pablo! This is the closest I’ve ever been to applying to be on The Bachelor. He makes my heart flutter. As for Des and Chris, I think they’re cute together, but I question the whole “I thought I was in love with Brooks but now I realize it was you all along” thing. I never really saw much chemistry between Des and Brooks (at least not on his end), so it didn’t surprise me when he left. But I wonder if Des is truly ready to commit to Chris, having supposedly had such strong feelings… Read more »

Britney
Britney
6 years ago

Don’t get me wrong I’m completely addicted to this franchise & will probably watch until I’m an old lady… But let’s be honest people… These couples rarely make it…. Even the ones that don’t have HUGE GLARING RED FLAGS. I like Chris but I think he’s the total back-up plan, poor guy. I will be shocked if they make it, but if they do, more power to them!! On to the next…. Hola Juan Pablo! It’s time for me to order my Rosetta Stone so I can understand him next season. Hooray!

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