Bachelorette Recap Part 2 Finale: Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!

Hola my reality show loving friends. It is I…Juan Pablo.

The rumors are true. I will be your next bachelor! I know you were anxious when mi amigo Chris Harrison teased the news. Most of you were nervous that Drew would be chosen, but quickly switched gears when Our Host described the fortunate soul as charismatic. You crossed your fingers, hoping mi compadre Shirtless Zak wouldn’t be the one in the footage standing on the beach. And then you saw the athletic shorts and became hopeful. Hopeful that when the camera finished panning up my body there would be a Venezuelan stallion staring off into the horizon.

You were right mi corazon. Your squealing reminded me of the time I spent running in Pamplona. Gracias for your love and support. I will do my best to make you and Camila proud.

Odio las judías verdes,
Juan Pablo

Juan Pablo

Part of me thought about stopping the recap there, but I guess it’s my bloggess duty to bring you the nitty gritty that came with the three hour part two season finale. There were a few moments that I literally stood up, sat down and then stood up again. I screamed twice. And I was COMPLETELY wrong about the ending . Allow me to share some entertaining nuggets that were tucked away between random studio audience polling and former contestant interviews:

Stick a Fork in Her
Part 2 of the finale picks up where we left Des last week — devastated that Brooks is just not that into her. She roamed around in her cabana wearing a peach tie-dyed caftan that the wardrobe department frowned upon. Des refused to wallow in her string bikini for the cameras, so they compromised by making her wear a turquoise statement necklace during her interview with Chris Harrison. “I just wanna go hooooome,” she laments into a ball of Kleenex. Sorry Des, you’re contractually obligated to go on at least one fancy date. Buck up kid.

It’s Not You Drew
Des chooses her favorite Pocahontas belly shirt and harem pants to ride horses with Drew. They reach an enchanting part of the beach for their picnic. Before Drew can pour the wine, Des’ face is scrunched up and tears are flowing as she quickly chokes out the fact that she isn’t in love with him, even though he is so pretty, and sweet, and did she mention pretty? Dumbfounded, Drew insists that she stop apologizing and thanks her for being honest before he dismisses himself to process what just happened while on his horse as it meanders back up to the rejection limo. I don’t know if I should feel more sorry for him or the ABC intern who clearly worked hard on constructing that lean-to made from palm fronds.

I Can See Clearly Now That Brooks is Gone
To everyone’s surprise, Des decides to not only go on her fantasy catamaran date with Chris, but she also introduces him to her parents, her brother Nate and his parole officer. Within minutes, Des’ Dad has given him permission to marry his daughter and even Nate has approved of her choice. Of course, Nate brings up Brooks and asks if she’s over the devastation. Instead of boldly claiming, “YES,” she cries. I see the flag. And it is red. Des insists that because of Brooks’ decision to leave, she now sees how much love she has for Chris and is willing to go to the finish line with him, even though he doesn’t get that metaphor because that was her secret love language with Brooks — the guy she REALLY wants to marry.

With this Ring
Chris rocks the dark suit and a five o’clock shadow as he makes his way to the proposal pedestal, twirling the Neil Lane ring on his index finger. He’s ready to spend the rest of his life with Des and tells her so in so many words. Just as he’s about to get down on one knee, she stops him. “I KNEW IT!” I scream, high fiving the air. My guess is that Des couldn’t pick anyone because she is so COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH BROOKS. Instead, she “comes clean” with Chris and tells him that she was blindsided by her feelings for Brooks, but once he was gone, she could see what was right in front of her.

Right. Brooks is gone. Drew was dumped. Chris is left standing. It’s just simple math, really.

Chris begins to smile as she tells him that other guy who always wears pink left five days ago and he’s the one for her and has always been. You know, since Brooks left. She finally allows him to get down on one knee and accepts his proposal. They kiss and live happily ever after, or until their three month contract expires.

The One That Got Away
Chris Harrison was quick to put Brooks and Des in the hot seat during “After the Final Rose” and I have to say, Des looked so very sad. There was longing in her eyes, along with tears, and she just didn’t seem over the moon in love with Chris. Kudos to Brooks for being kind enough to offer that it didn’t surprise him Des had chosen Chris.

When Chris took the hot seat, he embraced Des with a passionate kiss and exuded joy. Our Host asked him five separate ways if he was still confident in Des’ love for him, even after watching the show. He said he was, but the look on Des’ face was of. It seemed forced to me. She also looked like she was ready to hurl when he started reading her another poem, but that could have been merely circumstantial, because I actually did throw up a little in my mouth. But what do I know? I’m never right about these things.

I do know that Des is ready. She’s got the ring. She’s got the guy that has promised to love her forever and she’s going to prove to herself that she’s committed to making this work by moving in with a guy she’s mathematically known for seven days. BRILLIANT IDEA! Good luck in Seattle kids!

What do y’all think? Is she really into Chris or is she still in love with Brooks? Do you think Chris Harrison is as excited about Juan Pablo as I am? Come back this week for the big “He Said/She Said” reveal…you’re questions were quite intriguing and entertaining!

It’s been a wild ride! I simply can’t wait for January. I’m ecstatic. And I’m all about the shame, not the fame,

Lincee

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