I Hate Green Beans Podcast 1: Bachelorette Week 5
Thank you to everyone for your overwhelming response to Wednesday’s big reveal:
My cup runneth over. Y’all are too kind, and I truly hope you enjoy the book. I’ll go ahead and apologize publicly for chapter 2. I’m blushing now just thinking about it, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it now. A six-month head’s up will have to do.
And for those four people who unsubscribed from my email list, I totally understand. Some people don’t like reading books or joining launch teams or being bombarded by email asking readers to feign enthusiasm. No hard feelings. However…
May I interest you in a podcast?
That’s right. Yours truly is launching a podcast TODAY. It’s below all of this text. Right there for you to click on or download. My East Texas accent comes out to play every once in a while. I’d like for you to file that under a “she’s so charming” category if you don’t mind.
So what’s this podcast about? Allow me to elaborate once again by interviewing myself.
Q: Wow. You’re launching a podcast. That’s a huge undertaking. You must be so tired. Is that why your face looks the way it does? How many people have asked you if you’re sick this week?
A: I imagine I’ll get some rest after this post is live. I plan on bathing in lavender tonight. As for my face, it just looks that way, but thank you for noticing.
Q: What’s the title of your podcast?
A: I Hate Green Beans
Q: WE GET IT. YOU HATE GREEN BEANS.
A: I wanted to make sure the word got out by any means necessary.
Q: What will you talk about on your podcast?
A: Anything that falls under the pop culture category.
Q: Do you talk about The Bachelor?
A: I do!
Q: Does that mean you’re discarding the Bachelor recap? The thing that started all of this hullabaloo?
A: Absolutely not. Writing will always be my first love. The recap will still be posted every Tuesday. For those times when the podcast features The Bachelor, it will be a quick review of the latest show.
Q: What if I don’t watch that filthy show and secretly judge you for dedicating segments of your podcast to it?
A: That’s okay! There will be plenty of other podcast episodes for you to enjoy. For example, I have an entire show dedicated to love stories. Who doesn’t love a love story?
Q: I technically don’t. Is that bad?
A: You are dead to me.
Q: No, for real. What other topics will you include?
A: Where do I begin? Movies, music, TV shows, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, concerts, headlines, you name it.
Q: I’m going to need you to be more specific.
A: You’re starting to annoy me, but I’ll play along. A few of the episodes are: “Disney Princes — Who would you date?”, “Thanks Millennial! — What the young people saying and wearing that will make me sound and look cooler?”, “My Wish List for Santa,” and “He Said/She Said.”
Q: Isn’t it going to be weird with you just talking to yourself about pop culture?
A: Probably. I talk to myself enough these days. That’s why I have different friends joining me to debate and banter back and forth.
Q: Really? Like who? Our Host Chris Harrison?
A: My people are calling his people. We are totally BFFs, so I imagine it will happen one day.
Q: Please tell me you’re going to talk to your mama.
A: She’s already brainstorming topic ideas.
Q: So which friend is up first?
A: A long-time friend of the blog, Some Guy In Austin helps me out during my inaugural post. He has his own Bachelor blog, so he will be my guest for all the bachelor-related episodes. He brings a certain “je ne sais quoi” to the show. I like having a guy’s opinion, too. He also helps me practice my censor button skills. We laugh. A lot.
Q: How long are these podcasts?
A: Typically between 35-50 minutes, depending on how rowdy we get.
Q: And I can listen to the first one below?
Q: When can I expect the others to come out?
A: We wanted to post several episodes all at once so you can get a feel for the show. For the next four days, I’ll be posting a new episode for your entertainment. There will be four Bachelor episodes and the love story one I mentioned as a bonus.
Q: When will the podcast be live after this week?
A: Every Wednesday.
Q: Let me get this straight — After today, there will be a new podcast episode on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday? Plus a bonus?
A: Yes. Then a written recap on the blog on Tuesday and a new podcast episode on Wednesday.
Q: Are you mad, woman?
A: No. Mama had me tested.
Q: Will this effect your blog? With all this book writing and podcasting, what will happen to the original I Hate Green Beans?
A: That’s a great question. My hope is that I will have two posts up on the site each week. And one podcast. Plus whatever shows I’m covering for Entertainment Weekly.
Q: With your busy schedule and Chris Harrison’s busy schedule, how will y’all ever find the time to date?
A: I would ditch everything in a heartbeat to date The Harrison. No offense.
Q: None taken. I get it. Those eyes…
A: You get lost in them, right?
Q: YES! Let’s not forget the way he smells…
A: You mean how he smells of freshly chopped wood, a double shot of Jägermeister, and adventure?
Q: You better believe it, but we’re off topic. Why aren’t you on iTunes or some sort of podcasting app?
A: We are working out the details before we go there. But you’ll always be able to listen or download here.
Q: Do you have one of those cute tiles with your podcast name on it?
A: I do.
Q: Can I see it?
A: Of course!
Q: What if I don’t like your podcast. Do you want me to tell you?
A: Between Wednesday’s announcement and today’s launch, I’m a touch fragile right now, so I probably won’t even look at the emails until my butt unclenches. With that said, I’m always happy to hear from readers/listeners. Feel free to email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Q: Fabulous. What else would you like to say to your readers?
A: Y’all have touched my life in a way that I can’t describe. I hope you enjoy the book and the podcast.
Here we go! Episode 1 is below! If you need a refresher, here’s a link to the episode’s recap. Pay no attention to my weird giggle or accent and HAVE FUN!