The Big Reveal: Part 1
When I asked y’all to guess my big news, I never expected so many people to *wish* for me to be the next host of the After Paradise show. Although that is not my announcement, I appreciate those of you who think I could even form sentences, let alone be funny, in that particular scenario. Our Host Chris Harrison + LIVE TELEVISION = Lincee turning a wicked shade of green.
Thanks to Kathy who guessed: “OHCH is going to be the next bachelor and you are going to be in the pool of women vying for his heart.” I’m not sure if that’s actually happening, but if you know something I don’t know, WHERE DO I SIGN?
Darling Becky and Kristin thought I somehow managed to turn my life around and love green beans. Isn’t that cute?
Several of you are rooting for me to get another entertainment gig. I’d take that in a heartbeat, but alas, that’s not my news either.
I love those of you who want me to have a lifelong supply of Dr Pepper. YES PLEASE.
No, I’m not getting a dog. I’m not moving. I did not win the lottery. I’m not adopting a child from Africa. Hart of Dixie is not coming back to the CW (long live Wade Kinsella), and sorry Julie, but I am not pregnant.
Hillary’s guess was intriguing: “I hope it is what I think it is but if not…. maybe you and a Jesus loving, hot, rich but humble man have secretly fallen in love with each other and he is sweeping you away to a tropical island where all your family and closest friends await your nuptials. Can I come?”
Hillary, when you find that guy, call me.
Aside from various Bachelor-related speculations, most of you who are on my subscription list (I gave a huge hint last month) or who have been hanging around IHGB forever guessed correctly.
I got a book deal! Very smart people are going to edit it, print it out, bind it up, and offer it to the general public in places like Barnes & Noble and on Amazon. I’m overwhelmed, excited, and a touch pukey, but it’s okay. I’ll be fine.
If I had a dollar for every person who suggested that I write a book, I could buy a nice pair of jeans at Nordstrom’s and have enough money left to treat myself to a double doozy at the Cookie Company. Truthfully, it never occurred to me to write an actual book until readers of this website planted the seed. Then it was all I could think about.
So I did it. I wrote a book. If you’re wondering why posts have been sporadic for the past several months, now you know why. I’ve been holed up in my bedroom, the library, and Target tapping away on my keyboard, pouring my heart out onto the pages.
That’s right. I wrote part of my book at Target. It’s not weird. My love for the red bullseye runs deep. Plus, I’m not trendy or cool enough to work at Starbucks.
So what’s this book about? Allow me to elaborate by interviewing myself.
Q: You wrote a book. That’s awesome Lincee! What’s the title?
A: Why I Hate Green Beans
Q: What’s it about?
A: Insecurity, but I feel like I need to disclaim that it’s funny and entertaining.
Q: Do you talk about The Bachelor?
A: The book is about insecurities. Of course I talk about The Bachelor.
Q: How long did it take you to write it?
A: Three months to write, but we are still in the editing phase.
Q: When does it come out?
A: February 6, 2018
Q: That’s during The Bachelor season! Do you think Our Host Chris Harrison will read a copy?
A: I hope so. In the early version of the book, I had a chapter titled, “An Ode to Chris Harrison.”
Q: Can I read it?
A: I’m considering sharing it with my email subscribers.
Q: Why do they get everything?
A: Because they care enough to invest in my website/blog/story/LIFE, so I want to invest in them.
Q: Will your subscribers get other fun stuff related to your book?
A: Yes. I can’t tell you specific details right now, but rumor has it that they will get to read samples from chapters.
Q: That is so cool! How do I sign up to get your emails?
A: It’s so easy. Click HERE.
Q: Does the book have a cover yet?
A: It does.
Q: Can I see it?
A: Of course!
Q: Wow. That is legitimate. How did you get Melanie Shankle to endorse your book?
A: I bribed her with Anthropologie gift cards.
Q: Is there anything else you want to say to the people reading I Hate Green Beans?
A: My goal was to write a relatable book. I think I accomplished my goal. I hope you will laugh, blush, nod your head in agreement, and feel a sense that you are not the only weirdo in this world. You are my people. Come sit by me. I’ll help you tuck your crazy back in.