So I wrote a book.

Very smart people are going to edit it, print it out, bind it up, and offer it to the general public in places like Barnes & Noble and on Amazon. I’m overwhelmed, excited, and a touch pukey, but it’s okay. I’ll be fine.

If I had a dollar for every person who suggested that I write a book, I could buy a nice pair of jeans at Nordstrom’s and have enough money left to treat myself to a double doozy at the Cookie Company. Truthfully, it never occurred to me to write an actual book until readers of this website planted the seed. Then it was all I could think about.

So I did it. I wrote a book. If you’re wondering why posts have been sporadic for the past several months, now you know why. I’ve been holed up in my bedroom, the library, and Target tapping away on my keyboard, pouring my heart out onto the pages.

That’s right. I wrote part of my book at Target. It’s not weird. My love for the red bullseye runs deep. Plus, I’m not trendy or cool enough to work at Starbucks.

So what’s this book about? Allow me to elaborate by interviewing myself.

Q: You wrote a book. That’s awesome Lincee! What’s the title?
A: Why I Hate Green Beans

Q: What’s it about?
A: Insecurity, but I feel like I need to disclaim that it’s funny and entertaining.

Q: Do you talk about The Bachelor?
A: The book is about insecurities. Of course I talk about The Bachelor.

Q: How long did it take you to write it?
A: Three months.

Q: When does it come out?
A: February 6, 2018

Q: That’s during The Bachelor season! Do you think Our Host Chris Harrison will read a copy?
A: I hope so. In the early version of the book, I had a chapter titled, “An Ode to Chris Harrison.”

Q: Can I read it?
A: I’m considering sharing a chapter or two with my email subscribers.

Q: Why do they get everything?
A: Because they care enough to invest in my website/blog/story/LIFE, so I want to invest in them.

Q: Will your subscribers get other fun stuff related to your book?
A: Yes.

Q: That is so cool! How do I sign up to get your emails?
A:  It’s so easy. Click HERE.

Q: Does the book have a cover yet?
A: It does.

Q:  Can I see it?
A:  Of course!

Why I Hate Green Beans

Q: Wow. That is legitimate. How did you get Melanie Shankle to endorse your book?
A:  I bribed her with Anthropologie gift cards.

Q: Can I order a copy now? Or do I have to wait for February?
A: You can pre-order from Barnes & Noble or Amazon right now. How fun is that?

Q: Is there anything else you want to say to the people reading I Hate Green Beans?
A: My goal was to write a relatable book. I think I accomplished my goal. I hope you will laugh, blush, nod your head in agreement, and feel a sense that you are not the only weirdo in this world. You are my people. Come sit by me. I’ll help you tuck your crazy back in.