iHateGreenBeans

I never thought I would have to write about my pimpin’ experience because I thought you all would forget about it if I let enough time pass.  But NO!  According to IHGB readers Valerie, Suz, Ann, Catharine, Stef and Linceefan (to name a few) I see that my dating life is something of interest to at least a dozen of you.  And that floors me.

Pimpin’ was great.  But there was one suitor in particular who made it particularly interesting.  He went above and beyond the pimpin’ rules and regulations as set up by webMAN and went straight for the jugular.

That’s right friends.  He stalked me on Facebook.

You can imagine my surprise when I received a message from…we’ll call him Dallas…on my Facebook account.  He straight up admitted that he wasn’t going to mess around with being “chosen” from a panel and wanted to take a leap of faith and get to know me because he thought I was awesome.

Is it just me or was that a fabulous way to open up conversation with a complete stranger?

I thought it was weird that he never “friended” me though.  Later he told me that he didn’t want to learn about me (or me about him) on Facebook.  He would rather things unfold naturally.  Weeks later, he finally friended me and I was able to discover the truth of why it took him so long.  He didn’t want me to judge him based on looks.  Because the dude was rockin’ some serious abs.  And shoulders.  And arms.  And legs.  Plus he has great hair. 

Naturally, I become anxious.  Dallas is one of those individuals who works out.  I eat pizza for breakfast and drink way too much Dr Pepper.  And I can assure you that unless something drastic happens with my metabolism, there will be NO bathing suit shots on my Facebook page.  What in the world could we have in common?

As it turned out…we had a lot in common.  We shared views on faith and family.  He totally got my sarcasm and humor.  I found myself laughing.  A lot. 

But sometimes it’s just not in the cards.  The Lord had a different plan from what I thought was going to be an interesting and exciting time in my dating life.

Dallas is a perfect gentleman, loves his family, hilarious, a hard worker, hotter than crap and I’m a little disappointed we didn’t get the chance to make out.  (Is that too bold to admit?)  Fortunately for me, when I emailed him yesterday to explain that I would be writing about my pimpin’ adventures because my readers were curious, he was more than willing to take one for the team and promised to go out of his way to kiss me passionately should our paths cross again. 

I suppose I could allow that.  For the sake of the blog of course.

“My second and last tour of duty in Iraq is finally over. I am happy to be coming home. My family will have all of it’s sons out of this tragic country for the first time since the invasion in 2003. The 56th Stryker Brigade will be done with the various medical and administrative outprocessing later this month. After that, I am going to see the family for a couple of days, and then take a vacation out west with a friend. I especially want to thank the ladies who wrote in for Big Pimpin. It was my pleasure to get to know you all. Unfortunately, it did not work out with anybody in particular, so life goes on. Coming home to my family, and unhurt, is enough for me.”

Elliott sent several photos to friends and family the last few weeks in Iraq. At times, he would give his camera to one of the guys to take candid photos of the crew. One of them captured this moment and titled the photo “Relieved.” When I asked Elliott to tell me what was going on at that moment, he said that he had just finished his last mission and was grateful that everyone was going to be coming home in one piece.

I love this photo. I think it says so much. Of course he was relieved. He had a charge of men under him and each one will be hugging their families and loved ones soon. That’s why the photo is so incredible. And that’s why he is so incredible…because THAT is where his head and heart are…with his men. He did his job. He did it well. Everyone is safe.

God bless America!  And God bless YOU Elliott!

Today is part II in getting to know more about Lincee. I asked two of the closest people to her, to write a little something to supplement the 18 questions.

Lincee’s sister, Jamie:

My sister…my friend

Yes, you could say I was one of “those” sisters—the big sister who tolerated the presence of her little sister at the “grown-up” slumber parties. And yes, I must admit that I used the wiles only a big sister would know to get snacks and drinks from the kitchen—I timed her! “Awww…not as fast as last time…maybe next time”. I know…I know…

But I also remember skating in the garage to “Funkytown”, talking to each other underwater, and of course there’s the Cats Café. Good times…good times.

Yes, we shared experiences, and somewhere along the way…that bond that only sisters understand turned into even more—a genuine friendship. Now I see my sister and I am full of affection and pride. She is beautiful—inside and out. She is smart. She is kind to others. She embodies the value of integrity. She shows respect to all. She is the best hugger I know. And above-all, she has unwavering faith in the Lord.

Lincee lights up any room she’s in, she’s adventurous, she’s hilarious, and I miss her when we are not together. I am blessed to have Lincee as a sister and a friend.

Lincee’s BFF, Jill:

I’ve known Lincee since our sophomore year at Baylor. I saw her doing a skit for our sorority and thought, “I want to be friends with that girl!” She has been one of my best friends ever since! In college I learned that she’s confident, fun, smart and loves an audience. After college we worked together at Disney. That’s when I learned that she’s a hard worker, a stickler for being on time, is endearingly child-like at heart, loves anything dipped in Rotel Velveeta with a wine cooler on the side, and loves Christmas A LOT. Seeing her in her married years showed me she’s fiercely loyal, trusting, and loves her family dearly. Her divorce and the time following that showed me she’s strong, faithful, patient, and teachable. The last couple years have been awesome to see that even she is seeing that she’s adventurous, successful, a writer, a wonderful friend, has a merciful heart, and is just downright SUPER! I love this girl. Now let’s get to pimpin’!

If you have a co-worker, neighbor, family member, or anyone else in your sphere of influence that would be perfect for this treasure, please let me know by submitting it to me. Whatever format you choose, please include at least one picture (the more the better) and Click Here to send them.

Meet Lincee. SWF, with big boobs (I can say that, we are friends), ocean blue/green eyes, and a sense of humor that is off the chains. To delve deeper into what makes Lincee tick, I gave her 20 questions so we can find out more about her and what she is looking for in a man. I will interject some added insight, where needed, because I am obtrusive like that. Let’s get started, shall we?

1. The fans all know about your epic sense of humor, but tell us some stats such as your age, height, eye color, and hair color.

Age:  33
Height:  5’2
Eye color:  Mostly green
Hair color:  Brunette

2. Describe the type of man you looking for (use bullet form).

• Loves the Lord
• Has a natural ability to make people laugh
• Hard working and dedicated to his responsibilities in life
• Confident but not cocky
• Polite and gentlemanly (I refuse to believe that chivalry is dead)
• Physically fit
• Conversationalist:  I love witty banter
• Someone who trusts that I’m a better woman as a result of my divorce (cheaters need not apply)

3. You lead an interesting life.  Name some of the places you have experienced in your travels so we can encapsulate your adventurous side.

• I was greeted by 50 Mexicans as my personnel basket swung me from a tug boat and plopped me in the middle of the deck on Rig 660 in Gulf.
• I ate questionable deli meat in the Ukraine that I later learned was donkey tongue.
• I was baptized in the Jordan River in Israel.
• I rode a camel named ZaZa in Petra.
• I was pulled aside in a little room at the Bogota Colombian airport because the police thought I was smuggling in pirated DVDs.
• I held a bedpan so my friend could throw up in a hospital in QBA.
• I zip lined through the jungle in Costa Rica.
• I tried to sneak in to the Burj Al Arab Hotel in Dubai, but chickened out at the last minute and settled for a photo outside the gates.

4. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

One can’t help but notice physical build at first.  I also notice eyes and his smile.  Do they appear happy and joyful and in love with life?  Is he a hugger?  Is he respectful?  Does he make me laugh?  I’m a sucker for a good old boy too.

5. What would you consider your best trait?

I have a nurturing side that always seems to lead me in the direction of helping others.  I have a strict policy to never let anyone cry alone and I can make a mean banana pudding.

(WebMAN Interjection): Lincee is, by far, one of the most trustworthy, unselfish, and reliable people I have ever met in my life.  You can count on her for anything.  I am reminded of a survey, in the book The Millionarie Next Door, where they surveyed the affluent on what is the most important trait in a partner, and hands down “someone you can rely on/trust” was number one.  That is Lincee.  There could be no other answer to this question.

6. Describe an ideal first date.

My first reaction will probably be, “YES!  I’M GOING ON A DATE!”  But I know that’s not the point of this exercise.  I love digging deep and finding out about people and that is best executed with a bowl of queso and a basket of chips in front of me.  I would never turn down a meal unless it was sushi.  I also love going to the movies, the theater, listening to live music and if you know how to spin me around the dance floor…or the living room…or a parking lot…I’m putty in your hands.  I enjoy college football and $1 hot dog night at the baseball field in the cheap seats.  I also love driving in a car with the windows rolled down listening to music while drinking a Sonic Route 44 Dr Pepper.

7. What type of music do you like/listen to?

I’m not exaggerating when I say that I love most music genres.  Heavy metal and gangster rap are probably not high up on my list.  My music is generally directed by my mood.  I love pop, classic country and boy bands.  I love Broadway, crooners and classical.  I love 80s, Disney and church hymns.  I love alternative, folk and acoustic.  Music feeds my soul.

8. Name some of your favorite movies.

It’s as if you asked me to name a favorite child:

• Favorite all time:  Pride and Prejudice
• Favorite classic:  Gone with the Wind
• Favorite musical:  Singing in the Rain and Newsies
• Favorite chick flick:  The Notebook
• Favorite 80s movie:  Girls Just Want To Have Fun and 16 Candles
• Favorite epic:  Star Wars Trilogy
• Favorite animation:  Sleeping Beauty and The Incredibles
• Favorite one-liners:  Princess Bride
• Favorite cult classic:  Dazed and Confused
• Favorite dance movie:  Urban Cowboy and Center Stage
• Movie I’m too old for:  Harry Potter Series
• Movie I’m embarrassed to admit I own:  The Pirate Movie
• Movie I don’t own but secretly wish I owned:  High School Musical: Senior Year
• Movie I cry when I watch:  Rudy
• Movie I fast forward to the good parts:  Big Business

9. Name some of your favorite TV shows besides that lame Bachelor show.

I love The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, Ugly Betty, Arrested Development, Project Runway, 30 Rock and that show where the guy makes the phenomenal cakes in the shape of mustangs and pigs flying.

10. What is your job?  Your title?  What is a typical day for you?

I am the Public Relations Manager for a marketing firm.  A typical day consists of me trying to pimp out rigs and subsea trees to the oil and gas trade media.  I also write seven different internal newsletters for my clients.

11. What are your religious beliefs?

I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.  He is a big part of my life and I need a man who both understands and embraces this fact in his own life.

12. Where are you from originally?  Where do you live now?

I’m from Hallsville, Texas (population 1,556) and am related to most everyone in the tiny town.  I was first runner-up in the Miss Hallsville pageant in 1994.  I think I lost because I told the judges that my life-long goal was to work at Disney World.  If I knew their names, I would have sent them a post card from Magic Kingdom four years later when I was ACCOMPLISHING MY LIFE-LONG GOAL.  After living in Florida, Waco and Dallas and I now reside in Houston, Texas.

13. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

I’m a reader.  I love Half-Priced books.  I typically read about 30 books a year.  I love watching shows on my DVR because I can do that on my own time.  I believe DVR is the best invention EVER next to the iPod and toaster oven.  I like to spend time with friends.  I like to cross items off my to-do list.  I love to swim and frolic on the beach in my string bikini.

14. What type of foods do you like/hate?

I pretty much stick to anything white or yellow.  I stay away from green and orange.  Unless the orange is candy corn.  I’m addicted to holiday sweets.  That’s why October is so exciting for me…the stores gear up for several months of seasonal candy.  You have Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter all together.  I love Mexican food and often enjoy a good old fashioned steak and potatoes.  I don’t eat anything crustaceous or meat off the bone.  Because let’s face it…that just reminds me of cannibalism.

15. Do you have a special talent or stupid human trick?

Take your pick:  I can, and have been able to since I was five-years-old, say the ABCs backwards.  I can talk like I am stuck in a closet.  And I have a pretty impressive whistle that often turns the heads of many a young man, as well as all the dogs within a one-mile radius.  I know more Disney trivia than will ever be needed in a normal adult life and can pop my hip and thumb in and out of socket.

16. Where did you go to college?

Baylor University.  Sic ‘em Bears.

17. What do you think you will be doing five years from now?

Probably in a coffee shop somewhere writing notes for my future best-selling novel on the back of a napkin.

18. Since people will ask, why aren’t you and WebMAN dating?  Is it because he hijacks your website or because he is a jerk in general?

We are long-time friends.  He is dating other people. And he couldn’t handle me.

So how do you send candidates and where?

The most popular format is to have the prospect answer the same questions.  However, writing up a quick profile is also another good option.  Whatever format you choose, please include at least one picture (the more the better) and Click Here to send them.  On Friday, I will also be submitting a second post with descriptions of Lincee from her best friend and sister.