Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Apr
17
Posted by Lincee

White Dog

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This is White Dog.  Four years ago, she was dumped on our property.  She was exhausted from a long journey.  We could tell that she had been cared for, because she was  beautifully clipped.  She followed Daddy back and forth on the lawn mower for several hours.  Finally, we let her in the house.

WD couldn’t hear.  The vet estimated she was more than 10 years old.  She loved my Mom.  When no one was looking, Daddy would sneak a scratch or two behind her ears.  She was a good friend at a time when I was going through a rough patch in my life. 

Because Mom and Daddy took her in, she was able to ride in a golf cart.  Take a dip in either a pond or a swimming pool.  Have her ears licked by a crusty old Blue Heeler.  Drink out of the toilet.  Find sanctuary in Mom’s pimped out closet.  Eat weenies every day with her aspirin. 

She was a sweet girl who will be missed.  Rest in peace Dub.  You were a good dog.

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Mar
31
Posted by Lincee

A recent conversation with Daddy

***Note to reader:  my sister had the cutest baby known to man yesterday and my father, who even though we lived in the same house for 20 years, only went upstairs twice to “raise his eyebrow” at Jamie and I for jumping on the bed, has barely left the hospital.***

 

Daddy:  Hello?

Lincee:  Hi Daddy.  What are you doing?

 

Daddy:  I’m up at the hospital.  I held the baby for 30 minutes.  You know…

Lincee:  Awwww!  She loves you!  Are you holding her now?

 

Daddy:  No.  I’m in the hallway. 

Lincee:  Why?  Bad phone reception in the room?

 

Daddy:  The latex nurse is in there. 

Lincee:  The what?

 

Daddy:  The latex…the lack-test…the lack…the milk nurse.

Lincee:  Easy for you to say.

 

Daddy:  Whatever.

abcd

You have him wrapped around your finger Addison.  Rock on girl!

Nov
26
Posted by Lincee

Over the river and through the woods

Well…I’m not technically going to “grandmother’s” house, but I am heading home for Thanksgiving. Joy! A time of food, football and fighting the crowds at the movie theater. What better way to spend the holiday I ask you?

FOOD: Inevitably, my 92-year-old Mimi will bake about nine pies. My Daddy will poke fun at my Mama all day long about how more people are eating his fried turkey than the one she bought at the store. I will also be forced to turn my nose up at the sweet potato casserole, silently lamenting that I should have drug my butt out of bed at 6:00 that morning to make old fashioned mashed potatoes for me and the rest of the kids under 12-years-old. Then I will literally choke as the smell of Nannie’s famous green bean bundles (wrapped in bacon) attacks my olfactory nerves. But there will always be rolls. And pie. For that…I am truly thankful.

MOVIES: Jamie and I are going to see Twilight. Robert Pattinson is hot. You know who else is hot? James FREAKIN’ Bond. If you are too cool for Twilight, go see Quantum Solace. Lots of action, shooting, blowing up of things and the smoldering, brooding, gorgeous blue eyes of Daniel Craig. Both flicks receive two toe thumbs up from me. Be aware…I hear Australia is getting terrible reviews. However, there’s always Hugh Jackman shirtless. You pretty much can’t go wrong there.

FOOTBALL: The Longview Lobos are in the playoffs. For the millionth year in a row. Ow Owwww! Not only that, but college football is HUGE this weekend. So much is riding on several games, that it’s almost too much to handle. But I’m sure Kirk Herbstreit can calm me down during Game Day. Oh Kirk. Why do you never return my calls? (BTW: I am not going to mention a certain NFL team that is playing because they still have a little over one year left in their shun.)

On the serious, I’m thankful for this website and all the friends who come to visit it every day. If I had a ping pong table, I’d invite six of you over for ice cream, popcorn, jelly beans and toast. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Oct
07
Posted by Lincee

Mercy…Lord have mercy

Remember the days when you used to sit on your parents’ porch while watching a Civil War re-enactment and laugh in amusement as half the town (who has also gathered with you in the front yard) shouts with glee as the first Union soldier hits the ground after a fatal bullet wound to the gut?

Me too.

Western Days proved to be everything I hoped it would be and more. I have to admit that I was a little nervous about the re-enactment. I was afraid I had hyped it up so big in my head and would ultimately be disappointed in the cheesiness of it all.

I’m happy to report there was just the right amount of cheese.

In a salute to the weekend, I’ve decided to narrow down the countless stellar moments to a simple top 10 list. Enjoy!

10. They draw names to see who will “have” to be the Union soldiers. Alas, someone has to do it. And the funny thing is that there is a gentleman on the loud speaker explaining that these Union solders are strong Southern men who just happened to draw the short stick.

9. Early on Saturday morning, my Daddy had been driving around on the golf cart checking to see if the chili cook-off people needed anything. Big Johh, who cooks his chili in what appears to be an old school bus, asked my Daddy if he knew Lincee Ray. He said he did and asked how Big John knew me. Apparently, Big John couldn’t recall the city in which the Battle of Crawford/Chili Cook-Off/Western Days Extravaganza was taking place and so he Google searched. Naturally, www.ihategreenbeans.com popped up and a new fan was born. Clearly, Big John is awesome in my book. Even if his chili didn’t receive first place, he’s a winner in my heart.

8. My first surreal moment was watching the Confederate soldier watch the UT game on my Daddy’s ginormous screen TV through the window of the den.

7. My second surreal moment was watching the Confederate soldier pour a bottle of Shiner Bock into his tin cup. You know…so he could remain authentic. Then he went to the port-a-john.

6. The cannon fire was severe. They warned you to hold your ears and listen for the ready…aim…FIRE! But it still startled everyone. This is my first attempt to take a picture.

Here is my second.

And here’s cute Sam with his ear phones on. Little guy didn’t even flinch when the cannons went off!

5. My Daddy did not participate in the battle, but did wear somewhat of a costume. He kept saying all morning long, “Oh Belvedere! Come here boy!” That combined with his Macabee beer shirt I bought him in Israel (the shirt says: “The beer the chosen people chose” on the back) made for an interesting fashion weekend.

4. The battle lasted about 45 minutes each day. And each day, the South won. We were down on Sunday, but fought back with the Union soldiers shot the little boy carrying the flag as well as our medic. OH NO YOU DIDN’T! This is a picture right before the doctor went down…

3. The ball in the driveway was a sight. The men were still in colonial uniforms but the women changed into fancy gowns and attached their holiday hair. They learned the Virginia Reel and waltzed and the Pattycake Prance. They kept yelling for “Jamie” to come join the fun. My sister unwillingly obliged. But then we realized some solider dude was named Jaime and they were calling him. Awkward!

2. The children of Western Days…
Benjamin playing in a potted plant.

Sam playing in a Confederate tent.

Random re-enactment boys playing on a pile of dirt.

Best t-shirt ever.

1. My favorite moment of the weekend was when the Confederate soldiers were lining up for battle. They began marching down the driveway past the house where I was standing taking photos. A few steps in, the general calls out, “Gents! Eyes right!” They all turn and look in my direction and the general says, “MERCY!” and the boys answer, “LORD HAVE MERCY!”

I think I actually swooned.

I love my roots. Reese Witherspoon’s line in Sweet Home Alabama rings true when she says, “It feels right in the city, but then I come here and it feels right too.” Sure my accent gets a little thick when I go home and I’m amazed at some of the things I see and hear, but there’s a little twinge of nostalgia too. A longing for a simpler life. Parades that consist of little league football boys, horses and Miss Hallsville contestants. A funnel cake stand in your back yard. A pile of dirt or hay stack to play on. Reconnecting with the guy you shared your locker with for four years in high school (HEY BOBBY!) and dragging Daddy’s old lazy boy out on the back porch so Mimi can elevate her leg while watching the battle and sending the cousins to fetch her samples of chili. Weekends and memories like this help make me who I am. And I loved every minute of it!

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