I called my sister up this weekend and told her that she better put her thinking cap on, because she was going to be the lucky person to “Great Debate” with me for my website.

Jamie: “I’m in. What are we debating?”
Lincee: “Best George Michael songs. Name your top three. No thinking. Just say it. Go.”

Jamie: “Does this include Wham? What about duets?”
Lincee: “The rules are that George had to be singing the song. If others were with him, that counts.” (This, of course, is breaking the rules, but I had my reasons. So back off!)

Jamie: “Well my number one is obviously…”
Lincee: “Please don’t say it.”

Jamie: “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.”

Annnnnnnddd there it is. Clearly, we are not on the same playing field. I should have known better. This chick has been in my life for 30+ years. Why would I great debate George Michael with someone who squealed every time his pink sweater/shorty short wearing body flashed the TV screen? This is the same girl who cut all the fingers out of her mittens…not to be cool like Madonna…but to be cool like George Michael. Not that I wasn’t right there with her. I’m pretty sure we begged our Mom to buy blacklights so we could put on every florescent piece of clothing we owned (including Le Zinc sunscreen) in order to dance around in the understairs bathroom…the only place in our house that had no windows.

But I have MOVED ON from Wham. Sure I love GM and that other dude, but his solo stuff is way better.

Jamie: “I think my second choice would be Faith.”
Lincee: “Now you’re talking! Faith is my third choice.”
Jamie: “Well why wouldn’t it be? That video?”
Lincee: “That shaking butt!”
Jamie: “Those acid wash, cut-up jeans and boots!”
Lincee: “Those aviator sunglasses…”

The list went on for about five minutes. I’ll spare you the play-by-play.

Jamie: “I’d round my top three off with Careless Whisper.”

C’MON! ARE YOU HEARING YOURSELF? Not one but TWO Wham songs in your top three? How do we have the same blood you freak?

Lincee: “I really don’t know what to say to that, except I would like for you to ask Gary (her husband) to weigh in so that I know you have some sort of sustaining normalcy in your life when it comes to the mastermind that is George Michael.”

Maybe two seconds pass before she answers:

“He said Praying for Time, Kissing a Fool and I Want Your Sex.”

I’m pretty sure I heard him giggling like a 12-year-old boy when she mentioned that last one.

Lincee: “Jamie. I need both of you to reconsider. Freedom MUST be in your top three. It’s my number one.”
Jamie: “Oh…that’s a good one.”

Lincee: “And his duet with Sir Elton John? Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me? HELLO IT’S MY NUMBER THREE!”
Jamie: “They were great together.”

Lincee: “What about Father Figure?”
Jamie: “Oh yes.”

Silence.

Lincee: “You’re sticking with Wake Me Up Before You Go Go aren’t you?”
Jamie: “Yes I am Jitterbug.”

Okay readers. It’s up to you. Please help me change Jamie’s mind and prove to her that Wake Me Up is not worthy of top three status for George Michael. I’m counting on you to join me in pulling her out of that florecent dream she’s been dancing in for the past 20 years.

In the meantime, jump on over to You Tube to enjoy his Faith video. You. Are. Welcome.

Exactly one week ago, I posted my first of many “Great Debate” sections of my blog [WEBSITE]. (See below or click GREAT DEBATE in category column to the right.) My high school friend Chance and I pondered one of the most disputed questions of all time: What would you consider the top five Michael Jackson songs? From the numerous comments that followed that entry, I can see that many of you too ponder this question.

It was earlier this week that I received an email from Chance, clearly stating that he had been misrepresented. The message read:

“I feel so betrayed. I thought your blog [WEBSITE] was a cyber place your readers and friends could go to be happy and give the [CENSORED] sites a rest. Who knew it was just another venue for lies and smear campaigns? The real issue was whether “Smooth Criminal” belongs in the top five. It does not. But I’m willing to let you believe it does without publicly announcing your drug addiction. On the other hand, you have lost all credibility for proposing a MJ top five that doesn’t include “Billie Jean.” Anyway, what I had said was that I think I could name 10 (or maybe it was 15) MJ songs that were better than “Smooth Criminal.” As it turns out, I can name 10 that are unequivocally better:

Billie Jean
Man in the Mirror
Human Nature
The Way You Make Me Feel/Will You Be There (Tie)
We Are the World (yes MJ gets credit since he helped organize it and co-wrote it)
PYT
Beat It
Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
Thriller

But I also believe that “Black or White” is better and I do not apologize for that. That’s light years from putting it in the top five (apparently five songs = light years). And I can list a number of other songs that arguably outrank “Smooth Criminal.”

I Just Can’t Stop Lovin’ You
Rock with You
The Girl is Mine
Another Part of Me
Bad (okay, I’m just being tacky now)
Dirty Diana
You Are Not Alone (this is clearly a joke)
Who is It (now I’m just naming every MJ song I can remember)
Rockin’ Rob…(never mind)

I enjoy debating such critical questions and would have loved to engage you on the other big issues, such as:

1. What superstars, if any, belong in the all-time top tier with Elvis and the Beatles?
2. How do you feel about the war?
3. Britney: better bald, blonde or brunette?
4. Top five eighties movies of all time?
5. Water boarding…fun or not?
6. In what year did it become not-gay to like Justin Timberlake?

But since I can’t trust you not to throw me under the bus and mischaracterize my every word, I think our debating days are over. I almost posted this on your blog [WEBSITE] to clear my good name, but I didn’t want to make you look bad in front of your readers. Love, Chance”

Dearest Chance,

Clearly a retraction is in order. So sorry that thousands of people found out that you indeed like “Black or White” but would not place it in your top five of all time. And I’m sorry that I said you were on crack for not liking “Smooth Criminal” even though it is one of the best songs ever.

And I am also sorry if it embarrasses you that I posted a picture of us in high school for all the world to see.

Your BFF,
LB

(Yes I have on orange sandals. The 90s were rockin’!

I’m on the phone with my good friend Chance last night and for some reason, we get on the topic of the top five Michael Jackson songs of all time.

Chance: Well…you’d have to put “Man in the Mirror” in there for sure.
Lincee: Of course. One of his best. And I’d put “The Way You Make Me Feel” near the top.
Chance: Clearly.

We then agree that “Beat It,” “Bad,” and “Thriller” can be left out of the top five. Good songs, but not top five material. I was pretty surprised that Chance and I were on the same page with that decision.

Lincee: Okay. Two down…three to go. “Smooth Criminal” has to be one of them.
Chance: Are you kidding? No. “Black or White.”

I almost hung up the phone. Clearly Chance is on crack.

And we haven’t even DISCUSSED MJ’s Off the Wall album.

So here are my picks. I had a little help from my I-Tunes to see which songs I listened to the most.
And the winners are…

1. The Way You Make Me Feel
2. Will You Be There (Free Willy soundtrack)
3. Man in the Mirror
4. Smooth Criminal
5. Wanna Be Startin’ Something (if I had to pick ONE from OTW)

Also right up there:
1. Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
2. Rock With You
3. She’s Out of My Life
4. PYT
5. The Girl is Mine
6. Thriller
7. Billie Jean

What do you think? Have you heard “Will You Be There” and do you too see yourself one day singing this song in front of a gospel choir? Are there any songs we overlooked? Is Chance on crack for liking “Black and White?”