iHateGreenBeans

I love great debating.  Especially when I debate with a certain someone who really thinks he is providing solid factual evidence on why I may or may not be clinically crazy. 

 

About a year ago, Chance and I randomly debated the vocal stylings of Michael Jackson.  It was messy to say the least, and resulted in my very first website retraction.  See here and here.

 

But the other night, I was in a particularly good mood and decided to call my old friend up to tackle another great debate:

 

What are the top five Prince songs of all time?

 

Fortunately, Chance was able to pull himself away from legal briefs in order to discuss this important matter with a clear and open mind.  Since we had “issues” with the Jackson debate, I decided we start off by simply listing all the Prince songs we could think of in five minutes.  Afterwards, we would both narrow down until we had reached a top five of our own. 

 

-          Little Red Corvette

-          Raspberry Beret

-          When Doves Cry

-          Purple Rain

-          Kiss

-          Let’s Go Crazy

-          1999

-          Diamonds and Pearls

-          7

-          U Got the Look

-          Cream

-          The Most Beautiful Girl

-          Darling Nicki

-          Take Me With You

 

Then Chance suggests something completely out of left field.  That brings us to the first sound bite of the night:

 

Chance:  “Beautiful Ones.”  That’s a good song.

Lincee:  What the heck is “Beautiful Ones?”  I’ve never heard that in my life.

 

Chance:  Whatever.

Lincee:  I’m serious.  I’ve never heard that song.  Sing it.

 

Chance (humming something unrecognizable):  It’s hard to recreate. 

Lincee:  Clearly

 

Chance:  It’s just Prince being beautiful.  Don’t write that down.

Lincee:  Too late.  You said it.  It’s on the record. 

 

A few minutes later, we learn that “Little Red Corvette” and “Purple Rain” have both made it to the top five in each of our lists.  I’m not sure the thought process behind Chance’s selection, but I personally chose the two stellar songs because they reminded me of the time the seniors danced a Prince medley at our Bobcat Belle Spring Show.  Listening closely to the lyrics of “Little Red Corvette” later in life, I’m quite shocked that our director let us bust out a few jazz hands to that song.

 

It reminds me of the conversation I had with my Mom about the song “Grease Lightening” and how she used to let me and my sister sing it to the top of our lungs.  In front of people.  On numerous occasions.  If you recall, it was full of innuendos and a few dirty words that you can’t even miss!

 

Mother stands firm with the old stand by of:  “You didn’t know what you were saying back then.  It’s fine.”

 

Cut to Hallsville High School auditorium circa 1994 and me executing a perfect jeté to the verse that talks about the singer having a pocketful of Trojans. 

 

Nice. 

 

Let’s get back on track.

 

To recap, Chance has without a doubt solidified his top three in the form of “Little Red Corvette,” “Purple Rain,” and “Beautiful Ones.”  (I know…right?)  It’s down to the final two.

 

Chance:  “Let’s Go Crazy” is looking like a solid contender.”

Lincee:  You have GOT to be kidding me Chance.  Are you serious? 

 

Chance:  But I have moves to that song.  The part about picking up the phone…

Lincee:  There are a ton of songs better than “Let’s Go Crazy.”  What about “7,” or “Diamonds and Pearls?”  “Raspberry Beret for sure!”

 

Chance:  Ooohhhh…. “Raspberry Beret” is good.  But I’m gay if that is in my top five.

Lincee:  You already admitted that fact with this “Beautiful Ones” nonsense. 

 

It all comes down to the lists (in no particular order):

 

Chance:

When Doves Cry

Purple Rain

Little Red Corvette

Beautiful Ones

Let’s Go Crazy

 

Lincee:

Purple Rain

Little Red Corvette

7

Kiss

U Got the Look

 

It’s up to you guys to decide.  Who has the better list?  Who knows the true meaning of what Prince represented before he was the Artist Formerly Known As?  Would any of you put “Beautiful Ones” in your top five?  Sound off in the comments below.

Raise your hands if you are PUMPED for the new 007 flick that comes out next week?

Maybe this will help…

You are welcome.

I had a debate with a friend this week in which we discussed the best Bond actor. It was a toss up. Before I tell you who the CLEAR winner is in my opinion, I decided to let you guys weigh in on the subject. Vote below. Then go drink a martini in your Aston Martin while you chase the bad guys.

[poll id="2"]

I called my sister up this weekend and told her that she better put her thinking cap on, because she was going to be the lucky person to “Great Debate” with me for my website.

Jamie: “I’m in. What are we debating?”
Lincee: “Best George Michael songs. Name your top three. No thinking. Just say it. Go.”

Jamie: “Does this include Wham? What about duets?”
Lincee: “The rules are that George had to be singing the song. If others were with him, that counts.” (This, of course, is breaking the rules, but I had my reasons. So back off!)

Jamie: “Well my number one is obviously…”
Lincee: “Please don’t say it.”

Jamie: “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.”

Annnnnnnddd there it is. Clearly, we are not on the same playing field. I should have known better. This chick has been in my life for 30+ years. Why would I great debate George Michael with someone who squealed every time his pink sweater/shorty short wearing body flashed the TV screen? This is the same girl who cut all the fingers out of her mittens…not to be cool like Madonna…but to be cool like George Michael. Not that I wasn’t right there with her. I’m pretty sure we begged our Mom to buy blacklights so we could put on every florescent piece of clothing we owned (including Le Zinc sunscreen) in order to dance around in the understairs bathroom…the only place in our house that had no windows.

But I have MOVED ON from Wham. Sure I love GM and that other dude, but his solo stuff is way better.

Jamie: “I think my second choice would be Faith.”
Lincee: “Now you’re talking! Faith is my third choice.”
Jamie: “Well why wouldn’t it be? That video?”
Lincee: “That shaking butt!”
Jamie: “Those acid wash, cut-up jeans and boots!”
Lincee: “Those aviator sunglasses…”

The list went on for about five minutes. I’ll spare you the play-by-play.

Jamie: “I’d round my top three off with Careless Whisper.”

C’MON! ARE YOU HEARING YOURSELF? Not one but TWO Wham songs in your top three? How do we have the same blood you freak?

Lincee: “I really don’t know what to say to that, except I would like for you to ask Gary (her husband) to weigh in so that I know you have some sort of sustaining normalcy in your life when it comes to the mastermind that is George Michael.”

Maybe two seconds pass before she answers:

“He said Praying for Time, Kissing a Fool and I Want Your Sex.”

I’m pretty sure I heard him giggling like a 12-year-old boy when she mentioned that last one.

Lincee: “Jamie. I need both of you to reconsider. Freedom MUST be in your top three. It’s my number one.”
Jamie: “Oh…that’s a good one.”

Lincee: “And his duet with Sir Elton John? Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me? HELLO IT’S MY NUMBER THREE!”
Jamie: “They were great together.”

Lincee: “What about Father Figure?”
Jamie: “Oh yes.”

Silence.

Lincee: “You’re sticking with Wake Me Up Before You Go Go aren’t you?”
Jamie: “Yes I am Jitterbug.”

Okay readers. It’s up to you. Please help me change Jamie’s mind and prove to her that Wake Me Up is not worthy of top three status for George Michael. I’m counting on you to join me in pulling her out of that florecent dream she’s been dancing in for the past 20 years.

In the meantime, jump on over to You Tube to enjoy his Faith video. You. Are. Welcome.

Exactly one week ago, I posted my first of many “Great Debate” sections of my blog [WEBSITE]. (See below or click GREAT DEBATE in category column to the right.) My high school friend Chance and I pondered one of the most disputed questions of all time: What would you consider the top five Michael Jackson songs? From the numerous comments that followed that entry, I can see that many of you too ponder this question.

It was earlier this week that I received an email from Chance, clearly stating that he had been misrepresented. The message read:

“I feel so betrayed. I thought your blog [WEBSITE] was a cyber place your readers and friends could go to be happy and give the [CENSORED] sites a rest. Who knew it was just another venue for lies and smear campaigns? The real issue was whether “Smooth Criminal” belongs in the top five. It does not. But I’m willing to let you believe it does without publicly announcing your drug addiction. On the other hand, you have lost all credibility for proposing a MJ top five that doesn’t include “Billie Jean.” Anyway, what I had said was that I think I could name 10 (or maybe it was 15) MJ songs that were better than “Smooth Criminal.” As it turns out, I can name 10 that are unequivocally better:

Billie Jean
Man in the Mirror
Human Nature
The Way You Make Me Feel/Will You Be There (Tie)
We Are the World (yes MJ gets credit since he helped organize it and co-wrote it)
PYT
Beat It
Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
Thriller

But I also believe that “Black or White” is better and I do not apologize for that. That’s light years from putting it in the top five (apparently five songs = light years). And I can list a number of other songs that arguably outrank “Smooth Criminal.”

I Just Can’t Stop Lovin’ You
Rock with You
The Girl is Mine
Another Part of Me
Bad (okay, I’m just being tacky now)
Dirty Diana
You Are Not Alone (this is clearly a joke)
Who is It (now I’m just naming every MJ song I can remember)
Rockin’ Rob…(never mind)

I enjoy debating such critical questions and would have loved to engage you on the other big issues, such as:

1. What superstars, if any, belong in the all-time top tier with Elvis and the Beatles?
2. How do you feel about the war?
3. Britney: better bald, blonde or brunette?
4. Top five eighties movies of all time?
5. Water boarding…fun or not?
6. In what year did it become not-gay to like Justin Timberlake?

But since I can’t trust you not to throw me under the bus and mischaracterize my every word, I think our debating days are over. I almost posted this on your blog [WEBSITE] to clear my good name, but I didn’t want to make you look bad in front of your readers. Love, Chance”

Dearest Chance,

Clearly a retraction is in order. So sorry that thousands of people found out that you indeed like “Black or White” but would not place it in your top five of all time. And I’m sorry that I said you were on crack for not liking “Smooth Criminal” even though it is one of the best songs ever.

And I am also sorry if it embarrasses you that I posted a picture of us in high school for all the world to see.

Your BFF,
LB

(Yes I have on orange sandals. The 90s were rockin’!