iHateGreenBeans

Oscar season is upon us and that means it’s time for me to peruse the list of films nominated for “Best Picture” and decide which ones are worth rushing to the theater to see before the awards are handed out on February 26.

Of the nine finalists, I’ve seen two on the list — “The Help” and “Midnight in Paris.” As with most women my age, I loved “The Help” (see my review HERE)

“Midnight in Paris” was a bit different though.  I enjoyed the characters and the interesting plot, but I felt confused for the majority of the movie.  All of the smart, intellectual types were nodding their heads in deep thought or laughing at the general whimsy of past literary greats coming to life before them.  I am convinced that my absence after my inaugural knee surgery in high school must have been the week that the HISD English Department covered all of this history because I was LOST.  I spent a lot of time on Google that night.

So what do we have left?  Here’s a rundown:

“The Artist”
I’ve heard that I may be distracted by the lack of dialog in this silent film.

“The Descendants”
We have George Clooney on one hand.  Swoon.  But then a depressing storyline on the other.  Does George’s dreaminess outweigh the depressingness?  You tell me.

“Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”
I do not know one person in my life who has seen this movie.  Isn’t that a bad sign?

“Hugo”
Other than knowing that it’s a Scorsese film and the advertising poster has a key on it, I’ve got nothing.

“Moneyball”
I’m actually surprised I never saw this in the theater.  It must have come out at a time when stellar filmography such as “The Muppets” or “Footloose” were hitting the silver screen and my hard earned $10.50 was spent elsewhere.

“The Tree of Life”
[crickets chirping]

“War Horse”
I’m scared to see it because I’m afraid the horse is going to die.

I’m leaving it up to you to give recommendations on your favorites.  Either comment your love/hate thoughts or simply vote below.

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Channing Tatum keeps popping up everywhere I go. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but I found it interesting that right after I wrote about him HERE a few weeks ago, I began cyber stalking discovered he is going to be in a movie next weekend called “The Vow” that is unequivocally the love child of “The Notebook” and “Dear John.” Oddly, it’s not adapted from a Nicholas Sparks novel. Instead, it is based on a true story.

Here…watch this:

A few days later, my friend Julie shared a photo with me on Pinterest from a girl named Theresa who tacked this on her bulletin board:

Can I get a collective AMEN from the peanut gallery?

Quick tangent: Let’s gloss over the fact that the intriguing message is sprawled over six very important aspects of the photo and concentrate on two other clues that make this picture potentially mind blowing.

1.) He appears to be sporting a mighty masculine belt buckle and B.) Could it be that he’s holding a pair of boots? I’m going to assume yes on both accounts. Cowboy take me away!

After first, second and third glances, I think it’s appropriate to agree with Theresa’s conclusion. Don’t question the man. Just be his wife woman!

But then we learn that she thinks she’s still engaged to this guy:

BE STILL MY FELICITY LOVING HEART! Y’all…it’s Ben freaking Covington! Where has he been for the last decade? Curses to “The Vow” for making me question Rachel McAdams’ ability to choose between hot and hot. It’s not like she hasn’t done that before:

Of course, being the romantic that I am, I will always root for true love. Sorry Ben. Call me Lon.

If you don’t care to admit that you secretly own “She’s the Man” or “Step Up” and would like to familiarize yourself with Mr. Tatum’s acting chops, I suggest you check out his debut on Saturday Night Live tonight.

I have a feeling this episode may have a permanent place to live on my DVR if he really lets himself go and isn’t intimidated by live television. Or he could take his shirt off. Whatever.

I was busy trying to decipher TV theme songs writing an article on subsea processing, when an email popped up from my sweet friend Katie at 5:07 yesterday evening.  The subject line simply read: “This movie looks like it’s going to suck.”

I was intrigued.

Upon opening the message, I was greeted by a simple link.  Hovering my mouse over said link, I began to get excited at what the click may bring. Like me, Katie is proficient in the love language of sarcasm.

I never in a million years expected this from Entertainment Weekly:

HELLO IHGB HALL OF FAMER MATT BOMER!

If I lean waaaaaaay over to the side of my computer, it looks like he’s smiling at me!  Oh Matthew Bomer.  How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

There’s one ab.  Two abs.  Three abs.

WELL HELLO FUTURE HALL OF FAMER CHANNING TATUM!

Sweet, cut, ripped Channing has been given much love on this site (see HERE).  I think he’s just darling.  And if he wants to bow up shirtless next to my sweet Matthew, so be it.

A quick Google search explains the glittery stance of these young men.  Apparently Steven Soderbergh (mastermind behind the Ocean’s trilogy) has gathered some of Hollywood’s nicer abs and assembled them together in a movie called Magic Mike which is loosely based on Tatum’s brief stint as a professional dancer who occasionally visits parties for ladies about to leave the single life.

I’ve learned that Bomer and Tatum will be joined by a colorful cast of characters, including this IHGB Hall of Famer:

This guy/wolf:

This guy who is en fuego:

And this young man who I doesn’t look a day over 20-years-old:

Had they replaced the above young tween heartthrob with the one below…

And maybe added this dude:

And this dude to the cast of characters:

It would be perfect.

Katie’s right.  This movie is totally going to suck.