Archive for the ‘Bachelor Recaps’ Category
It’s my favorite week on Dancing with the Stars—Disney Night! The ballroom is full of beautiful ball gowns. Naturally, a boy comes by and whips that fluffy gown off to reveal a shorty fringe, but I don’t mind. I have bigger concerns. What happened to Donald Duck’s hat and why is Julianne’s hair pink? We may never know.
It’s interesting to see what the choreographers will create, knowing that the audience has a picture of what it’s supposed to look like. To be honest, that can help you or hurt you.
Let’s take Kym for example:
Not once in the literally thousands of times I watched the movie did Mary Poppins ever show Burt her sternum. Who needs a spoonful of sugar when clearly cleavage helps the medicine go down?
And then there’s Jessie from Toy Story:
What in the world? I can’t believe Disney executives allowed the costume designers to shop in the adult Halloween section at Party City. I’m also unclear why Jessie is dancing with Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever. I’m almost positive that wasn’t a Disney movie.
Moving on! Here’s the breakdown of dances:
This week on Dancing with the Stars, the producers do everything in their power to make you cry. Each contestant must perform a routine which symbolizes their “Most Memorable Year.” The dance is all about love, respect, honor, determination and whimsical costumes. And since most memorable moments revolved around death and loss, the entire cast, including the judging panel, found themselves fighting back tears for an entire two hours.
Of course, there were extenuating circumstances that had me scratching my head verses shedding a tear or two. I’m looking at you, Farmer. Let’s break it down, shall we?
It was Latin Week on Dancing with the Stars, and you know what that means, right? GRATUITOUS ABS! FIERCE FACES! PUCKERED LIPS! AND MORE ABS! There were several highs, several lows and a few questionable costume choices (I’m looking at you Suzanne), but at the end of the day, let’s all admit that we really watch this show because of the effervescent Tom Bergeron and his quippy one-liners:
Tom: Thank you America, for helping us do what we can to heighten abdominal awareness.
Amen. Now let’s break down the dances!
Sometimes I wish my job was to cover myself in sequins, feathers or fringe and dance around a huge stage while people cheered for me. Alas, that is not my current career status. I’m forced to live vicariously through 10 stars and one bachelor each Monday night. Maybe they’ll ask me to compete whenever my book becomes a national sensation!
Note to self: WRITE YOUR BOOK LINCEE.
This week’s Dancing With the Stars theme was “My Jam Monday.” I have no idea how these people were able to choose a single song from which to jam. Making that decision would have sent me over the edge, and darling Val (he’s my fantasy partner) would have to choose something for me. Of course I would gently persuade him toward a song that lends itself to the rumba.
The dances this week were pretty special. And by special, I mean “bless his/her heart” unfortunate. Right out of the gate, our very own Farmer had me shaking my head, sending virtual love and support to Whitney (the partner, not the fiance) for the smile she plastered on as Erin shoved the microphone in her face. Fortunately, where there’s stumbling, bumbling corn huskers, there’s also elegant young girls with legit eyebrows and lion tattoos!
Let’s break down the contestants, shall we?