Archive for the ‘Bachelor Recaps’ Category
Houston—we have a problem.
Even though my city is mostly under water due to flash floods and endless raining, there was a sliver lining in the form of a brand new reporter on ABC13:
I’m a weather freak. Translation? Weather freaks me out. It was nice to have John keep me company during the wee hours of the morning as I curled up in a chair at my friend Emily’s house, shuttering with each lightning strike. And even though animals were marching two-by-two outside, I’m thankful that the electricity hung in there for the duration of The Bachelorette.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to fully experience the jack wagon known as JJ.
It was a warm, Tuesday night. I was sitting in my red and white gingham chair, my TV recapping place, waiting for Undateable to start. As I scrolled through my Instagram feed, something caught my eye:
— Chris Harrison (@chrisbharrison) May 19, 2015
I do not live in Austin. But I know Some Guy who does. I immediately texted him an adamant “WE HAVE TO GO” message. Using all caps conveyed a sense of urgency that was met with a flurry of responses from both him and the Mrs.
We were all on board. The goal? Meet Our Host Chris Harrison, convince him to come out to the Broken Spoke honkey tonk with us after his book signing and become the best of friends.
If we believe, it will happen.
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Our Host Chris Harrison is absolutely right—this IS going to be the most dramatic season of The Bachelorette…ever. After watching the last six minutes of the show (multiple times), I’ve reached the same conclusion. From the looks of it, ABC will have to wrap the remaining episodes in a plain brown wrapper and sell them by the register. Also, the ABC Psychotherapist is going to be working overtime with a line of crying dudes collected outside her door.
As a wise love guru once said, “Playas gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.” The question is—will Kaitlyn be able to shake it off? Only time will tell.
Here’s what I was able to glean from this extra hour of The Bachelorette. READ MORE
You know it’s going to be a good season when in hour one, a healer tells a drunk, “You shouldn’t call them hoes.”
If that doesn’t say WELCOME TO THE BACHELORETTE SEASON 11, I don’t know what does.
And if you weren’t excited enough about the premiere of our favorite franchise, Mike Fleiss has decided to embrace his jack wagon ways by flipping the inaugural cocktail party on its side. Traditionally there is only one girl waiting for the parade of stretch limos outside the mansion, struggling to keep her evening gown train from becoming drenched after dragging it through the freshly sprayed asphalt puddles. This year, Fleiss gives the men the power to choose their bachelorette. Instead of the dudes vying to impress the lady with first impression tchotchkes and tales of overcoming odds, Britt and Kaitlyn must enter the arena together and fight for their right to party for the next six weeks.
Who will stand with a tasteful, yet understated accent table piled high with boutonnieres beside a man who is so talented, he can host a show and pimp a romantic novel at the same time? Who will have her hopes dashed, realizing that she was rejected twice on the same show in less than a year?
It’s time to duke it out ladies. We don’t need another hero. Welcome to the Thunderdome.