Archive for the ‘Bachelor Recaps’ Category
Farmer: Bali is the perfect place to fall in love.
Lincee: Do you think that is true?
My Mother: No.
Mama: Wait! That’s the setting of South Pacific!
Mama begins singing “Bali Hai.” I secretly film her. Don’t tell.
Mama: Yes. They can fall in love there.
There you have it folks. Linea Ray has officially given her permission for The Farmer to fall in love in Bali. She would prefer he do this with Becca because “Whitney will never make it on the farm.” She also thinks Our Host Chris Harrison has a good butt.
Welcome to the family Bachelor recap everyone!
I’m going to kick this Bachelor recap off with a very bold statement—I have been thoroughly entertained this entire season. Truly! Yes, The Farmer may be a nice, good old boy who doesn’t necessarily excel in front of the camera, but what he lacks in pizzaz, his potential wives make up for in drama. Couple that with Fleiss’ propensity to shake up the typical episode flow we’ve all but memorized after 19 seasons of “reality,” and I end up clenching my butt and literally yelling at the television on multiple occasions.
Say what you want, people. That’s just good TV right there. And last night was no exception.
Watching The Bachelor was hard last night. It was hard because half of me wanted to watch the Saturday Night Live 40 Year Special, while another 45-percent of me wanted to see what the Dowager was up to. Sadly, I gave into the five-percent minority by devoting not one, not two, but three hours to witnessing Britt manipulate her way through the corn fields of Iowa.
The good news is that Our Host Chris Harrison graced us with his presence for hour one, making those particular 60 minutes a delightful blend of a ruggedly handsome interviewee sparing with one self-proclaimed Mensa candidate, dissecting the broken relationship of one emotional basket case, and livening up the dull conversation of one farmer.
Our Host is a pro. This is why they pay him the big bucks.
This Bachelor recap is brought to you by United Airlines. Two time zones and three states later, I am forced to post this using an ethernet cable in a Comfort Inn near Nowhere, Wyoming. It’s a miracle we’ve reached “published” status. Hooray for sleep deprivation!
I do apologize for my tardiness. It’s been an interesting 24 hours. And although I can’t make it up to all of you, I would like to invite my Houston readers to a free movie this Thursday, February 12. Warner Bros. was nice enough to give me screening passes to Will Smith’s movie FOCUS. Plus, there’s a cocktail party before the event! I may not be handing out roses, but I would love to meet you if you’re interested. Make sure to email me and let me know if you are able to secure a ticket! Warning: It’s Rated-R, so take that into consideration.
Here’s the link: http://www.gofobo.com/yLleV60461
And now, ON WITH THE RECAP!