Bachelor

IHGB #202 Bachelor Matt James: Cool Rider

Hello everyone ! Who knew that a girl wearing puka shells all over her white gossamer gown could cause such a fuss, am I right? Some Guy in Austin and I break down week six of Matt James’ journey to find love, and we tackle many questions along the way.  How many bolts are missing from those carnival rides? How many Temecula Road songs can you name off the top of

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Bachelor Matt Recap: Peace and Harmony

Bachelor Matt Recap | Week 6 | This show is, more often than not, a runaway train wreck. At other times, we have to sit through a hefty serving of “boring” before we get any drama.  And then, ABC tricks us. We lean into the theatrical antics of a random girl from Colton’s season showing up at the cocktail party, wearing all the leftover puka shell necklaces from Abercrombie’s summer of

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Bachelor Matt Recap: Cinderella Story

Bachelor Matt Recap | Week 5 | It’s time for the mean girls to hit the road. We no longer wear pink on Wednesdays. Nothing is fetch. Regina George has left the building. This is what we call “cleaning house,” and Matt James has zero qualms about showing both Anna and Queen Victoria exactly where their ridiculous behavior will lead them. Spoiler: the answer is outside of the Neapolitan boarders, sans

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Bachelor Matt Recap: Varsity Blues

Bachelor Matt Recap | Episode 4 | Just when Matt James thinks he’s figured out the business of being the bachelor, Our Host Chris Harrison waltzes in and changes the game. Poor Matty is still super bummed about Sarah’s unexpected decision to return home, that even his fluffy buffalo check fleece can’t assuage the feelings of forlornness. Adding five new women into the mix is a recipe for cataclysmic events. 

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Bachelor Matt Recap: Fifty Shades of James

Bachelor Matt James Recap | Episode 3|  For those of you who have been around this block a few hundred times, you’ll recall that the iHateGreenBeans website adopted a safe word back in 2009 that we use when things get uncomfortable on the show. We want whatever is happening to stop immediately.  That word is pineapple.  I know I shouted it at the screen no less than twenty-seven times in

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